Perfectly Cut Screams

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Perfectly cut

screams

are one of my favorite things in comedy. Perfectly cutting ANYTHING is one of my favorite things in comedy. One of my favorite aspects of anything fun is how it sticks and how it's edited. There are entire subreddits and entire Twitter accounts dedicated to this sort of thing. They've collected all the

perfectly

cut

screams

, so I don't have to go looking for them. So grab your gamer phones! Put on your game faces! And get ready to laugh! Alright? Nn- these are not Jacksepticeye's funniest home videos! I know it's easy to combine the two!

Different series, okay? That doesn't say LAUGH! Now it just says: *slap* *SCREAMS* It's a different kind of video, okay? Alright? Keep up! We can laugh more than once! (man in the video speaking French) Ho oh no *Laughs* (man in the video says "OH-") That wasn't really a scream, that was an ergh! That's not a scream! A scream comes from within, a scream is loud! Guttural! Loud!- *on video* Boy: finally now I can keep these pennies.*loud footsteps* What the hell?! *penguin with creepy voice* I SMELL PENNIES! *Laughs* What the fuck-?! What the hell is going on in this video?!

Is that where that comes from? I've seen people write comments from time to time or write jokes or memes or something like that on the Internet that says, "I smell like pennies." And for a long time I had no idea what the hell they were talking about. Is that what it is? *same as before* Finally now I can keep these pennies to myself. *heavy footsteps* What the hell? *Penguin* I smell like pennies *screams* I smell like pennies I smell like meat That was good! That's a

perfectly

cut scream! I liked it a lot, it's very fun.

Did you see me... did you see me smile? Did you hear me laugh? That's how you know I'm alive inside! If you didn't laugh, you could be dead *TV chatter in the background* *Rasberry followed by dog ​​screams* *Laughs* They're so simple! Q-h- I thought when he hit the dog, the dog farted. I thought that was the sound *raspberry and dog scream* *laughs* That's me when someone tries to wake me up in the morning Alone, *edited to fart squeak* "Sean, wake up!"-- "AAHHH!" Probably because I'm dreaming about my fear of commitment *deer makes a long chirp* *laughs* *deer continues but goes higher* *Through soft laughter* It sounds like a door! *squeaky deer door continues *lowers then turns to scream* *laughs because it's the strangest thing* OH!

I like that one a lot! *coughs from loud laughter* *claps his hands* Yes! *coughs from laughing too much* Which is also a perfectly recorded scream video! I had this in a funniest home videos video before. VERY GOOD, IT'S NOT THE SAME SERIES! THAT SAYS "AHH!" NOT "LAUGH!" PLEASE KEEP GOING! I KNOW THEY ALL TEND TO LOOK THE SAME, BUT STOP IT! *lady in the video: I don't think she's speaking English* *the dog howls quietly and makes strange sounds. *lady on video- "I love you"* *Laughs* I don't even care if that's fake, I don't even care if it's edited-- I DON'T CARE AT ALL!

It made me laugh so I don't care! Yes, SHOCKER, the Screaming Irishman enjoys comedy full of screams. What would you want from me? Yes, SHOCKER, the Screaming Irishman enjoys comedy full of screams. What do you want of me? None of that is original! Everything is redundant. DERIVED is what I was looking for, not redundant. It turns out that recording Let's Plays isn't 100% original either! *Screeching deer door!* *Deer scream and truck horn crash* *Woman on video* Hello! Eee... *the animal responds with a very high-pitched scream* *woman in the video, in a low voice* Hello! Eee... I love that expectations are subverted! *laughs* *laughs* Yes! *men in the video laughing and carrying on* Come on, we'll do it/okay, okay/ hehehe *again, the lady in the video says "Hello!

Eeee..."* *men continue laughing and laughing* come on , we are going to go! *Man behind the camera* Okay, do it! *man in jacket* Goodwill? More, more like BADwill! *both laugh* *car horn honks and they scream* *Man behind the camera* Okay, do it! Did they die? I-I don't like that at all. No, no, 0/10 *Doggo growling* Jack: aww Doggo: sudden loud "arrgh!" Jack: Jesus! That's demon spawn! Good sir! This is what you see before you die; It's a Dark Souls boss! *guy in video* Dude, you gotta stop playing on the road. Jack: Oh no, Mr. Hotdog! Guy: It's not safe...

Jack: Mr. Hotdog noo! Guy: Seriously Jack: Not Meagan! Boy: Dude, buddy, there's a car! x2 *video repeats, dog makes the same sound* *Dark Souls death sound* Jack: HE CAN'T HEAR YOU! Hot dog, no! Rest in peace! *man plays classic baseball tune* Jack: In the seventh inning, stretch! *sings* Take me to the ball game! *another guy in the video* Get your hot dogs! Get it while it's hot! Hot dogs! Get your hot dogs, 5 DOLLARS! *screams* LET'S GET A HOTDOG! BA LA LA! *screams* GET DOWN! GET A HOT DOG! BWAAAAA! *laughs* That's what it's like to be at a baseball game!

Have you ever seen that, what is it, that Vine video? *another guy in the video* Get your hot dogs! Get it, a hot dog is $5 *in video, a little higher* Come get a hot dog, $5! *screams* LET'S GET A HOTDOG! FIVE DOLLARS! *screams* COME ON! GET A HOT DOG! FIIIIIIIII-! *Sean laughs* *First guy* Get out of my seat! *Second boy whines as they fight, punching each other* *SMACk* *First boy screams* *Jack laughs* Hoo! Yeah! *continues laughing* Ohh, I don't know what that laugh was! *laughs more* *ANOTHER BLOW* Ohh, it's just... I like to laugh! What can I say?

I am a smiling child! I'm a laughing type of man, I'm candy guys! *Jack laughs* Oh, hoo, hoo, hoo! Yeah! The perfect slap! *YET ANOTHER SLAP* UP OF THE MORNING FOR YOU! Jack: ew, ew, ew! *gags* Jack: ahhh! Jack: AHHH, I DON'T LIKE IT, AHHH! BECAUSE?! GET OFF MY SCREEN! Ugh! I thought these were perfectly cut screams, not Reddit 50/50! Ugh, that was gross! Don't spit in my eyes! You spit in my eye, I want to scream! *the boy screams again* And he starts drooling on your eyeball, it's time to make new friends! They don't sound very good *jokes* they're making me nauseous *people scream and laugh* Jack: Oh no!

Jack: oh h-! *laughs while everyone screams* Did this guy SERIOUSLY try to return a HELIO balloon? If you spit in my eye, I'll scream! It's like, "oh no, I saved it. Aha, here's your balloon back, girl!" *says with extreme sarcasm* "Oh, it's filled with helium? OH... DICKS!" They don't sound very nice *The boy in the video laughs* *screams in the video* You know? I'm Irish, okay, so everywhere I go in Ireland is just a farm, which technically means there's wildlife. *takes a Breath* everywhere, everywhere! Some of the people in Ireland are wild animals. I've had geese Heh, let me rephrase that, my family has had geese on our property.

I'm not suddenly a father of geese And they throw themselves on their knees! Alright? Geese, knees, they rhyme for a reason! It's probably also because they're knee-high for everyone, some people, like me, are super tall, like me, so yeah, they always go for the knees. Some of you... are much shorter. But the geese will kill them if they get the chance. If geese had TEETH, they would be the top predators on this planet *Very high-pitched sound from the boy in the video* Jack: *Laughs* WHAT? *High-pitched sound again* OH- it sounds like someone let air out of a balloon! *Another high-pitched sound* I am, you are super tall, like me, so yes, they always go for your knees. *Laughs* I've seen that before, but it's better to shout "HAAAAAAAAAAA!" Oh, is this what I've become?

Is this all my channel now? *scoff* I'm a man of simple pleasures, okay? Let me have this Let me be happy, with my little squeaky things that make me laugh *Yoshi's island music* *Yet another sound, high-pitched, in time with the music* *a human scream* *Jack laughs and it turns into laughter * AAAARRRGGGH! *Breaks out laughing* *In hands* Oh GOD! Jack: Oh, I thought it was over! Oh my god, that comeback! *Jack coughs from all the laughter* "AAAARRRGGGGH!" *Laughs more* Oh, whoever made this video, you're a fucking hero! *Jack laughs and turns into laughter* *screams calm down* *tears and a scream? (No, no, he's the dispenser!) * *Jack laughs* That really sounds like a person! *human-like scream* WAAHHH! *Laughs* Oh man, look, we don't really get that in Europe.

There aren't many places in Europe that have paper towels, which is really annoying! Because I prefer to use paper towels to dry my hands when I get out of the bathroom and have done my business. When I have to dry them under the thing, I always say, "Ugh, I have to go dry my hands." Now, everyone's going to look at me because the hand dryer is like--" "BAD!" "Okay, I'm dry! I'm leaving!" Oh here it is! Someone else had this! *laughs* Yes! The best! *Dog whining goes from a dog whine to a strange human-like scream* Sounds like me!

That scream at the end actually sounds like me! *breathes* AHHHHHH That's the, uh, Jacksepticeye 20- *pause* "Ugh, I have to go dry my hands now, y'all. They're going to look because the hair dryer is like-" "BUUUUUUGH!" *laughs* He says as he immediately proves your point *Jacksepticeye Scream* Ooh, ooh! This reminds me of another one of my favorites! Oh! Another vine video! God bless the vine, do you all miss it? This one is perfect too. It has to be somewhere on this website too! little bigger/stronger* ahhh! *screams at the top of his lungs* AHHHH! Jack: *laughs* Oh *claps* beautiful!

We miss you! What we're left with now is stupid Tic-Tok! Which isn't funny! I miss him! I miss the vine! I never thought I'd say that, but I do, I miss him. We all need to go back to the original Scream King. The original person, who... Made screams, ICONIC. I'm talking, of course, about our friend Tom! From Tom and Jerry Does Tom have a middle name? His name is Tom Cat. Apparently, very original. All we have left now is stupid Tik Tok! Jack: LEGEND *More high-pitched screams* Jack: I love Tom and Jerry *Again, high-pitched scream* YES! *bang and Tom screams in pain* Jack: It was the best! *Scream?* I miss Tom and Jerry! *High-pitched scream AGAIN* That's the one!

That's the one I was looking for! *Tries to imitate Tom* AHHHH HO, HO, HOOOO! I can't do it... one of the others screams at him, although I can. Tom: AHHHHHH!! That one... AHHHHHH! *Laughs* Tom! My hero! Maybe that's why I love to scream, Tom & Jerry were one of my favorite cartoons when I was a kid AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Jack: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH Tom, you're the best! Oh, I'm going to watch Tom and Jerry after this! *more screaming* *Hits the table* Good! That will be all, boys and girls. I froze my camera. Oops, we had a few laughs, but more importantly, we had some screams.

And that's all you need in life, really. That's all this channel; laughing and screaming. And sometimes you play a video game or two, but that's crazy. I hope everyone had FUN! *claps* I hope everyone SUBSCRIBE! *claps* I hope you like the VIDEO! I hope everyone COMMENTS on the VIDEO, I hope everyone RINGS THAT BELL! I hope everyone follows me on TWITTER, I hope everyone follows me on INSTAGRAM. If you don't, you're going to make me SAD, make me try really hard *breathes and gets ready* AAHHHHHH! Can someone make an edit of... *laughs* the screaming cowboy song?

Have I gotten over this? That would be... that would make my heart sing, thank you. But that'll be it for me, I'll catch you all on the flippity flop! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- *"I'm Everywhere" by Technoaxe playing* *Imitating a child* "Mom? Why is that man screaming?" *Imitating mom* "Don't look at him."