My Husband Left Me When I Was 9 Months Pregnant!

AJ is starting this hour in Cincinnati Hi AJ, what's up? Hi Dave, how are you doing better than I deserve? How can I help you? I just have one question for you. My situation is a bit difficult, so I apologize for starting your program in a horrible way. Please note my

husband

decided to leave his marriage, we couldn't get married for eight years and this was Christmas last year and this was all while I was nine

months

pregnant

with our third baby, yes it still contributes financially to our bank account whatever, he basically moved in with his sister and basically as soon as I got home from the hospital he

left

and he's at the point where he's pressuring me to get a divorce and almost quickly wants to have his own place and so he wants to sell our house super fast and I'm coming to grips with the fact that you know, I'm a stay at home mom so I understand that now that I'm at the point where I'm going to have to become a full time worker in my future.

I'm a believer in Christ so I know he has my future, but I'm scared at the same time and you know if I find your daughter. In this situation, what should I do for my financial future? I'm so sorry, that's scary, really scary, yeah, so what the hell is he? I mean, we're leaving the ranch, I mean, that's crazy, yeah, not him. I don't really tell you no, I guess it's because there is someone else but he will never admit it and I also recently found out that he has gotten himself into a $70,000 gambling debt that occurred two years ago

when

I thought.

We had been tithing to our church and we found out that we wanted to and he had been paying about 500 something a month just to pay off that debt and that's it so his name alone is correct okay and what does he make a year? He just got a new job where he makes a hundred and five thousand and I work part time from home. I make six thousand, okay, first let's establish that it's a normal human being in your situation who will be afraid and right after that you would be angry, right, okay, and then, and while you're doing all that, you also have to stop and let Put those two things aside to negotiate with him, because he is a world-class liar and manipulator, because he is a gambling addict, etc.

I know I know he is an addict because of the amount of debt and the fact that he was hiding it all, yeah okay, so one hundred percent of addicts and addicts will shake their heads at me, our manipulators and liars. the illness is fine, so you have to understand that that's what you're dealing with, and a friend of mine who does divorce recovery says that divorce turns marriage into a business transaction, so you're in a business partnership. with a person who manipulates lies and is addicted. to the game mm-hmm you won't let him listen to me carefully you won't let him establish the terms of this divorce yes, he is not in control of this you are right you are going to take everything for those children yes and I think they are working because he earns the money, the most of his income, he thinks you know he can control it, oh it's the opposite, you're about to control most of his income, it's called child support for three children, one who was only born the judge is going to screwing up math next week you're not going to like this process.

I'm telling you, can you imagine going before the judge with a newborn? And this guy is a gambling addict. I mean, can you imagine how bad that is? The judge is going to beat the snot out of him, okay, so you're totally in a position of power here while you're scared while you're angry, put those two things aside from a negotiator's perspective, you hold all the cards he has, no pun intended. intended, okay, you really have to hear that loud and clear because child support for these three children at one hundred and seven thousand dollars a year should be free and constant.

Yes, it's a big problem, now what are they up to? In this house we currently have about 115 people, we moved in about a year ago, so there is a house that is worth it. I don't even know if it's in Rose. It's worth five or two hundred. I'd say probably two hundred. Alright? it became a little bit like what Maui was then, okay, yeah, like I said, I mean, he knows a lot more than I do, so is there something in his 401k like fifteen hundred dollars, not much, like we barely had savings so how do you have any other debt that I have, I have my car and he has his, I rented my car so that's it, my name, I know it's in his name, well the other car is exclusively in his name, yes, he just bought it like a week ago.

Okay, so the judge is about to give him two leased cars and you're going to beat him up for which he'll pay cash, he needs the car payment, right? He says he has a lot of child support. keep this house, that's a decision we'll think about later, okay, I heard how this was going, what do you think you're going to do for a living? That's another thing. I have an associate's degree, so I was already another in the office, masters of administration. work I work from home and I still have the same job full time, it's been about four years, how much did you make the last time you worked full time like thirty grand?

Well, here's the last part of the equation. So, okay, yes, you're going to go back to work, yes, you're going to have a lot of child support, no, you're not going to have any car payments, you're not going to let him give you up, he gets these cars to his name, your problem is fine and this is your negotiation. and you are in control, believe me, you will get what you want in this negotiation if you stick with it because you have the story to tell and he, by the very nature of this story, becomes the bad guy.

I'm not trying to do it. beat him up, I'm trying to protect your kids, yeah, and I've got a $30,000 a year single mom with three kids at stake, that's all I care about. Her well-being is not on my list of things to worry about right now, okay? and yours or yours or yours you didn't take him to the race you took his mother so you could run but you can take this he won the race okay, thank you sir and listen, I want him to go through the Financial Peace University it's our gift, we'll put you in the class and the one year membership so you have access to all the videos and I think you'll get a job making forty five with that, you'll get a lot of kids. support and you'll probably be able to afford to stay in the house, that's questionable at this point, but you don't keep the house if you can't afford it, okay, sell it and rent something cheap and don't let this be redefined.

Your whole life, this is just the beginning of the next chapter of your life, kid, sorry, this is the Dave Ramsey show.