Moving On...

Ugh, don't you dare touch me with those fingers, what the hell is wrong with you? My previous owner would never have treated me like that. That's why you don't buy used electronics. So why did you buy me from the bookstore? So, well, usually. everything is overpriced there, but surprisingly you are the newest budget iPad and you only cost two hundred and eighty dollars compared to three hundred and twenty nine new, there must be something else, oh yeah, you also come with a Smart Cover which is a $40 value, but It smells like cigarettes, although it's because my previous owner smokes because he was cool. disclaimer smoking is gay so how did he treat you well?

For starters, he always used me when his hands were clean and he always let me. I wander around the city when he didn't need to use me wait, what could he? He hadn't even done many fun things in public, do you want to hear about them? No, I don't care about the details and backstory, well, he was amazing, except when he changed me to buy more cigarettes. So what can I do to make you feel more comfortable? Could you let me go out on the town when you're not using me? Sorry, I can't do that, I never know what.

I want to use you without warning, so I need you here 24/7. Oh well Dan, I'm not going to change to the correct orientation when you turn me, so haha, look, okay, I'll tell you what I do. I regret buying from you, you seem like a great deal at the time so I bought from you impulsively when I actually used an iPad Pro and stayed so why don't you switch me again and again so I can get a better honor if do you promise to do it? behave as if he used you. I won't sell you when I update.

Instead, I will make it so that you have complete freedom and you will be alone without an owner. Wow, okay, but when are you going to update me? I heard that Apple is going to release a new iPad pro soon with almost no bezels or home button, so when it is released I will let you off the hook, wow, there will be an Apple educational keynote in March and they might announce a new iPad pro there. I doubt students can afford it or need an iPad pro, but we'll see, so now our most affordable iPad is compatible with our most creative tool, the Apple Pencil.

No, it's just a new version of you that I don't need. Oh come on, you don't need Apple Pencil support. no, I'm a college dropout, I'm not an idiot, art majors, well, WWDC 2018 is coming up, maybe a new iPad pro will be announced, so I don't think so, usually it's just software, but a Sometimes there is new hardware, so maybe the next big release. of iOS, you guessed it, iOS 12. Now our customers, of course, see that it's all software. You're excited for me to install iOS 12. 1. You can't wait to be faster and buggier, so you'll want to use me even more.

I know. It reeks of sarcasm, but maybe Apple will include an iPad pro ad when they announce new iPhones in September. The iPad pro has been updated for over a year now, so I really think it's happened. This is the tennis iPhone. It is the most advanced iPhone. We just have a few iPhones with some slight changes that I don't care enough to upgrade. Yes, another year will be the next keynote speech. pro, I would have bought it instead, but I'm still happy to finally be able to upgrade my Apple Watch series zero. Does that mean your series zero watch becomes independent now?

I don't know, would you like to go out into the world on your own Apple watch series zero, is she going to respond well? The zero series has no voice. I want to stay with you, no matter what you want to do with me. Now look, she wants to stay with me even though she was used. Okay, in the drawer for eternity, how come you're the only one of my electronics that wants to be replaced? Take a closer look, yeah right, damn it's not a hard enough fall to kill you. This watch has a default error function.

It gives you a countdown sooner because nine-one-one, honestly, that's pretty cool, but I'll probably turn that feature off later. I don't need a life alert on my wrist because I'm not a hundred years old. I would love to stay with you for that long. He really sucks at the sarcasm draw. Oh please, we know you would never do what you need. a change of attitude maybe installing iOS 12 will do it or at least give me a smoother experience, sigh please put me out of my misery now oh my god king yes what is going on? There's an Apple Keynote tomorrow and the invitation has an artsy theme oh that's probably a good indicator of a new iPad pro what time is the keynote 7:00 a.m. m. in this time zone.

I won't give up this early, but I'll watch a replay a little later in the day. night, oh come on, I waited almost 10 months for this, hey Siri, turn off the lights like it's going to be fine, the lights are off, why do I have to program myself like this? Kings King I said I'm not watching it right now, it sounds like they're just announcing a new high anyway King, they're starting to talk about iPads King, wake up the cotton. I said I'll see him later. New iPad professionals. What do you tell me about this before?

Please let me cut it short hopefully they won. It won't be out of order Oh thank you have a nice day it's here oh boy I'm so happy for you and me boxing time what a weirdo what's up? What is that text on the back? Oh, I have an engraving of the tablet's name in Super Mario Party since I really enjoyed that game, look, it's the stupidest, most virginal thing I've ever seen, I mean, it'll hurt the resale value, but it's worth it, It's sillier than the stickers you stuck on me, sorry for wanting. make you look corky and unique, whatever, I can leave this house now, so can I leave now?

Wait, what are you doing? Don't put me next to her, oh of course, this disgusting process, so disgusting, it disappoints me, ugh, my last moment in this house is. just to be used like this I'm out of here okay now you can go could you throw me my charger? Oh yeah, right, where's my brick? I can't charge from an outlet with just the Lightning cable, it only came with the cable, so I had to provide my own break and I'm using it to charge my iPhone and my new iPad Pro, you name it, I'll make it work.

Bye, okay. I see, I have to make you stop. Hey, wait, I have to buy new bases and tables. on my own I'm free I'm free I can go wherever I want do whatever I want wait I'm not familiar with this area let me check my maps damn I'm out of Wi-Fi range but I can't go back now he probably won't ever want to see me again I can handle this problem Now I'm independent after all this is just temporary I'm not homeless or lost at all ah Who am I kidding? I am lost in homelessness and am about to run out of battery without a power brick or outlet.

Great, at least I'm not a homeless guy lost and dying in a bad neighborhood, what's up guys, Rexy tech? So today we are going to test the brand. new iPad pro I'm not an iPad pro leave me alone I can't wait to see how durable this thing is let's make this drink ahh ahh someone helped me ruin this why does it suddenly smell broken in here king are you right? I don't want to be alone and I want to stay with you. Sorry, but as you can see, I love my new iPad Pro and I don't think I'm using it anymore for you.

Please, there must be. something useful I can do for you oh, okay, I think I have something in mind, thanks and here we go, perfect, this is degrading. I'm NOT going to be your always-on subscriber counter, well there's nothing else I can use you for except my lifespan. it'll get shorter with me being on and plugged in all the time who cares I'm out of here tell me I hit a million subs stop it I won't let you do this to me oh please can't you shoot me and why don't you . because I turned this house into a gun free zone, how could this happen twice?

Yes, I now have my own house to live in. Victory number one, real son of a, he never turned that feature. Love must stop the call. Include the charger in my port. on the wall why do you always come up with silly ideas like this? What's happening? Brian, song here and welcome to these Apple snippets for everything good and bad within the world of Apple. Now this story. I never thought these words would come out of my mouth. but today the police found a youtuber who was murdered with his own iPad, that's a bad apple, well at least I won't be homeless anymore or anywhere near King.

I think I'll enjoy my life sentence or four years in prison, what's up guys? techrax your program today we have a great video sigh