Moist Meter | Godzilla x Kong New Empire

welcome to the wet

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today we are going to take a look at Godzilla cross Kong new Empire. I was a big fan of Godzilla versus Kong and as you all know, 2023 is a movie, the year for me was Godzilla minus one, so I become a huge Godzilla. There have recently been enthusiastic hits in the Godzilla franchise, so I had very high expectations for this movie and I'll be honest, it's a bit of a mixed bag. I had a lot of fun with the movie, but it's undeniably a give up on Godzilla versus Kong at least in my opinion, which makes it undeniable, so I think the action here is the best Kong action we've seen.

King Kong is by far the star of the show. It's primarily a movie about Kong. Godzilla is more. from just a cameo that shows up from time to time, he's like a raid boss that shows up from time to time, his screen time is reserved for him, he basically shoots other Titans, so he's on screen and just does Bops. A Titan kills him and absorbs some radiation. literally a punch as a kaiju, then he punches another Titan, absorbs some radiation and then you don't see him again for like 45 minutes, then he has a very important role to play at the end, but it's mainly a movie that focuses on Kong and I don't care at all that they did a very good job with King Kong.

There's a super awesome 20 25 minute scene with no dialogue at all and it's Kong interacting with others in the Hollow Earth, others of his species, and not saying a single word. Spoken, he is able to convey the full story of what is happening with Kong finally realizing that he is not alone. It's actually a really cool scene, but I also like the scene before it, when Kong first realizes that there are other great apes like him and is ambushed as a little great ape, a boy, a boy. little guy, walks up to him and bites his finger and says, damn, and then three other great apes attack him, so he picks up the little guy and starts using it like a baseball bat and slapping him. he hangs around with the little guy and then he throws it away like it's actually potatoes, he takes it out like it's a bag of trash and then he ends up befriending and becoming a pseudo father figure to that little great ape and that's when he runs into like all Society of them and that's when that scene I'm talking about happens, it's like 20 minutes to show that their leader is pure evil, there's a lot of bad things happening there and you really get a lot of story just through his expressions and what you're watching without any dialogue and I thought they did a great job with that, but I want to change gears real quick here and talk about humans because unfortunately you have to talk about those embarrassing sacks of meat that appear in these movies.

Godzilla Minus One is still the only Kaiju film to date. I think it does a human story very well. This movie has to have the stupidest plot I've seen in a while. I don't like to go into spoilers when doing wet

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s here. so I'll do my best to avoid any of this because I don't want to ruin it, but I have to give you some examples of the absolute insanity here from the plot points, so there's a scene where King Kong freezes. and the humans see this and it's very emotional it's like oh no that doesn't look good he's hurt and then one of them is like Eureka I got it DOC do you remember the PowerHouse project that the government cut funding from and she's like the PowerHouse you can't say yes and they say what is a Powerhouse project, it was a project where we were going to strengthen Titan with augmentations, what do you mean by augmentations?

I'll show it to you and he says luckily he's one of the prototypes. He was sent to the Hollow Earth before the government withdrew funding, so the prototype is 500 feet from where King Kong just collapsed. I'll go grab him and the next scene is him going to the Armory that has the PowerHouse prototype and literally air-dropping it. a Power Glove a Nintendo Power Glove on King Kong's arm that immediately went on autopilot on him and also came with an antifreeze serum. I didn't get an antifreeze serum because I guess they knew this day would come, they knew I would get frostbite.

They eventually made him The Infinity Gauntlet and he wears it for the rest of the movie, don't get me wrong, it's cool that King Kong starts walking around with a Robo Fisto, but also if you really stop to break him down, that's it. absurd, why what are the odds? It's crazy, I mean, good for them, to see such a crazy sequence of events happening with him freezing his hand and also collapsing pretty close to the Armory so he could grab it really quickly. It's really silly stuff like that, it's funny and silly and I think it's self-aware and stupid because a scene that comes shortly after is a whole series of wacky things that I probably can't spoil, but it revolves around a psychic kid who has this mission. in which they are basically the chosen ones of the Jedi prophecy, but instead of having a high mlan count, they are super psychic and can summon a monster that will help them and after all this happens, there is also a whole society of human beings who communicate with each other telepathically, so most of their scenes simply revolve around them standing still, looking into each other's eyes, and then walking away because they quantumly transmitted all the information they needed to each other, but any I'm.

I'm already getting lost explaining this, but anyway, after a lot of stuff like this happens, the same guy who brought the Power Glove says, you know, while we're throwing weird things against the wall and seeing what sticks, I have a plan. I'll be right back, I'm going to try something, then he disappears and comes back like a rodeo master with a bunch of birds shooting electric bolts behind him and he's just like yeah, my plan is a lot weirder. than you think it's going to be, he disappears and somehow pulls off that maneuver again. It's super fun, really silly.

I wouldn't be surprised to find out that the writers were smoking crack and for the last 30 minutes they just told all the actors that they improvise and just improvise that that's what it feels like, it felt like they had no idea where they were writing humans or what the role of humans was supposed to be here, so they just liked a dub of ghost stories where I just went in there and went really crazy, they're like that. I mean, okay, throw it in there, why not? It just doesn't make any sense where the human plot is going, but again, that's not the reason you're going to watch the new Godzilla Kong Empire, no one cares about the human side, it's just something that takes up a lot of screen time. , it's stuffing, it's literally the vegetables before you get the dessert, which is the Kaiju fighting action, but I had to mention it because that's what it is.

They take up a lot of screen time, they put a lot of time into it and it's something special. I have to mention the dialogue too because the lines here are written like an early '90s Saturday morning cartoon, like that Powerhouse Project scene that it is. More or less exactly how the PowerHouse project plays out, the one that had government funding cuts because it was making the Titans too strong and they weren't really on board with the one also 500 feet away. Possibly I'm not referring to that for your plan. Yes, in fact, it is exactly the same Powerhouse project I am referring to.

That's how half the human conversations go like it's super unreal, honestly by the end of the movie I was almost expecting Godzilla to do it. I started talking. I thought we'd have like a Transformers Optimus Prime moment. Sam wit, bring me a jar of peanut butter and a condom. I'm going to the Hollow Earth, but anyway, I stress enough that the important part of the movie is the whole fight against giant monsters is excellent, except for the ones where Godzilla kills them immediately. I would have liked to see that a little more. It's a little disappointing to have Godzilla coming here and not some cool titans like Tiamat.

I thought it would have been a It's a really cool fight to watch but it's over in 30 seconds but King Kong is the star of the show he's the one doing most of the fighting and his fights are exciting there's even a scene in the one that likes to throw a set where he's ready to like really unleash martial arts or something for a second, it's really cool and it looks cool visually, of course, it looks cool, it's a big budget movie, although, according to I understand, it actually has the lowest budget in the monster verse, as far as I can tell.

It doesn't look like it, although it still looks great, except for a couple of human scenes because they take place as a crystal domain expansion and you can say it's the most obvious green screen at some points, but other than those cases, which is again, a human problem, a human complaint, everything around the monsters looks great, all the fights look good, there's a monster that I'm a big fan of that made a surprise appearance here that I didn't know was going to be here , so it was a lot of fun for me as a fan of that particular Kaiju in the Godzilla franchise.

He just had a big smile on my face. There's a scene where Godzilla suplexes King Kong, like how can you not like that? There's also a scene where King Kong and Godzilla are forming up as this crazy team and they like some kind of 2v2 brawlhalla combo where they literally juggle their enemy back and forth by beating their butts, it's cool so yeah, anyway, what really matters in Godzilla Kong: The New Empire, which is fighting monsters, is amazing and if you can just go ahead and ignore the outrageous, ridiculous, stupid human story and the narrative they build around it, then you will have a great time, so connect the new

empire

of Godzilla Kong.

I'm going to give the humidity meter a comfortable 70%, which seems correct to me. I would have liked to see more scenes like the one I mentioned where there was no dialogue, just Kong interacting with all the other great apes around. he in it tells a very compelling story. I could immediately tell what Kong and all the other characters were feeling and I immediately understood his motivations and what was going on there. It was great. I would like to see more of that and of course more fighting. even though there are a lot of fights here but you can never get enough of it, but anyway I thought it was good, I enjoyed it, that's all, see you around.