Military Punishments That Are Hilarious (r/AskReddit)

Military personnel offered him what is the strangest, funniest, most bizarre punishment he has ever seen handed down by a USMC superior. A boy on fire watch didn't notice a DI coming on deck, meaning he immediately salutes and reports his position, so the DI ran up to the rifle rack and hit him and yelled BAM, you're dead, he tried to respond, he was cut off by the DI, your ghost now you can't talk, he acts like a ghost, then the boy had to wander around the squad bay for the rest of his two. -time fire watch acting like a ghost and took on that responsibility with a step full of ridiculous oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh noises I'm a ghost and going crazy over people's racks, we all laughed out loud for the next hour until our superior was defeated at the marine training camp.

We had the guy who somehow got his watch through the dock. They take all your junk when you first arrive, well, the DI. It was discovered that he had it when they saw him wearing it one day, so they put it in the team trash can and put the lid on it every time they passed by and they kicked him, he came out with his watch on DL to keep the time. in December it's zero 9:45 and then it's back to his can like fucking Grouch from Sesame Street. It was really really hard not to laugh at that during my first deployment to Iraq as a 5 0 Cal point gunner, I had a salty sergeant for a team leader had been at the tip of the spear during the invasion of Iraq, had been in Baghdad in 2005 and now returning for the third time in 2007, not only was he intimidating but he knew how to discipline you if you got out of there. line I was a young, stupid private first class with about a year in the army.

I knew what was right and what was wrong and luckily I was able to get on his good side with our driver, although, crazy, he was a short specialist with a crustash who recently spent four years in Korea, this guy was so out of place that even He re-enlisted when his first term was over, the guy was so fucking weird and disgusting, he always had an excuse for everything, nothing was his fault, he loved trying to shift the blame onto me. especially since he was a senior to me, our sergeant usually knew what was going on and correctly hit him well during a convoy security mission one day in southern Iraq, outside of Joanna, he hit a pothole like a big one, probably 20L I had to make him aware of everything because I was the eyes and ears.

The sergeant chose him. Frick said it was the drivers fault that he didn't avoid the pothole since I was up there scanning for threats, but we were the lead vehicle so it's not like this puffle was obscured by anything, especially since it was in full daylight. day when the driver then. he starts to say I don't know sergeant, I couldn't see him because I'm short, he wasn't that fucking short, he was maybe five foot seven inches or so, give or take an inch, I wasn't paying attention and that's what the sergeant wanted. hearing it because it was the truth, well this irritates our sergeant a lot and he asks the whole convoy to stop, something like 20 semis 6hw m MV s and 2 m 1117 ASV, then he tells me to go through an empty point 5 0 Cal, Can I do it quickly?

The sergeant then hands the can to the driver and has him use it as a booster seat. The driver protests and my sergeant gives him a direct order to do so. The driver backs up and does it at each door. At every base we approached, my sergeant had the driver open the door and show each guard what he was sitting on, then they made him sing I'm a little teapot, oh God, I sit in a high chair, sir, we don't blow. they rose and died most of the guards just laughed out loud some radioed other guards to come see him he was the laughingstock of our battalion for months a recruit at USMC boot camp thought he was special because he was An Eagle Scout drill instructor picked up his durable PT and took it into the woods and forced it to build a nest, then had to crouch over it to keep its eggs warm.

I was once greeted by the guard on the quarterdeck with a welcome on board. I won't masturbate in uniform when we were heading to Iraq we had to go through Kuwait Kuwait is the transitional center for soldiers going to and leaving Iraq. It is very chaotic as a result of jet lag in the chaotic nature of Kuwait. My friend had brought his gun to the shower. but he forgot to grab it on his way back to the store, shortly after leaving, a sergeant burst through the door and saw him sitting on his cot playing with his new video camera that he had just bought to carry out the deployment he His punishment had to be served. get up, grab his gun and his camera and go sit in the communal shower area and make sure no one else leaves their gun in the shower at night, then what would you see when you went to take off your clothes to get into the showers completely? a guy dressed up with a video camera sitting there looking at you there was a time when we did a private sweep to get all the sun off the sidewalks, it took the poor guy all day the first week in army basic training, one soldier asked an omelet at Missile Line that was not allowed because there was absolutely no time to make custom omelettes for each basic training soldier.

The cooks began making the omelet when a drill sergeant asked what the hell was going on, the basic training soldier responded, "Come on, drill sergeant." I'm waiting for an omelette, needless to say this was the wrong thing to say and do the first week in basic training, our platoon motto was, from now on, hang around drill sergeant. I'm waiting for an omelette and the soldier from basic training onwards was called Pvt Omelette in the Marine Corps, when we really advanced we were going fishing, it's where you crouch down like you're sitting in a chair and you hold a shovel in front of you in the air like a fishing rod and then you sit there for a long time. and if the shovel started to fall my sergeant would grab the tip of the shovel and start shaking it and make me pretend I was pulling out the big shovel once a friend and I got in trouble together so they made him fish and I flopped onto the deck like a fish I'd already caught for almost an hour.

I watched the guy forced to slow dance with a drill for an hour straight. We had a non-smoking waiver soldier through PT and he couldn't. Standing for long periods during work, the guy was a huge stick of Frick, always talking trash and being lazy, we made him sit in a camping chair and fill ten sandbags with a scoop. We were deployed to Iraq and this guy peed in water bottles instead of walking to the bathroom at night this is a common thing if this guy didn't get rid of the bottles he would keep them under his cot for some reason when the first sergeant He found out about this he made the guy inform the commander while keeping him in line. bottles of his urine in a box in front of him, they smashed this guy while he was holding a box of his own urine gun.

Basically, he dropped the biggest shit you've ever seen in the toilet, so he shows it to the drill sergeants who then do it. dress in all combat gear, weapon and everything and be guarded all night in the sacred high, whoever goes there is quite fun. Seen a guy with his whole body hesitating for exercises. The instructor gave him 1000 emoticons. Frown easily. Smiling and then frowning is one of the most difficult and easiest exercises of all. I just did about 50 of them and I didn't realize what I was doing until my coworker called me, he thought he was having a stroke, a soldier put on his camouflage and looked like Gene Simmons.

He had it on for an hour before The drill sergeant put him face down in a tree shouting I'm a chameleon, no one can see me. Navy basic training, we're all doing pushups when the instructor says down, everyone counts, when the instructor says up, one type in particular, the screw. He is told upstairs to shout Do you want fries? The instructor told him to get used to it because that's what he'll say for the rest of his life. Urge us a guy. Would you like fries with that inst us two? Inst up, boy, would you like fries with that?

There was a puddle of tears from laughter on the floor beneath me I wrote a bad check while I was stationed in Korea two dollars and six cents over the limit of my punishment for cutting the parade field grass with scissors In the morning, I It was a mixed agenda company in basic, the third floor of the barracks was divided with women in one half and Mills in the other, men were not allowed to be in the female half and vice versa, my platoon was outside practicing throwing bodies of grenades and a window. On the trunk on the female side, the third floor opened and a man escaped through the window onto the ledge.

It was immediately obvious to everyone, including our drill sergeant, that he had been and they were playing with a woman and a drill sergeant must have come. down the hallway, forcing him out onto the ledge so he wouldn't get caught. Our drill sergeant looked at the guy for a minute and then yelled very sarcastically, don't do it in private, you have a lot to live for, then they put him on. suicide watch and made him hand over his belts, tie, shoelaces and anything he could use to hang himself and made him drag his newly stripped mattress into the hallway next to the fire god's desk and sleep there every night until we graduated four . weeks later and made his battle companions sleep on the floor next to him for the first week.

Officers cannot punish soldiers with any punishment. The lab doesn't follow the guidelines that say they can be ordered to do some stupid things. My friend was ordered to move a box that weighed about 50 pounds from the barracks to the shower every two minutes for two hours, the officer's reason was because he didn't know where to put it and was trying to decide if it should be if the barracks shower in the In the end he ended up telling him to load him into the truck, that sounds like a very creative way to punish someone, another old man, but the good thing is to do a private hug to a tree, it all depends on how you take it.

Some soldiers thought it was fun to have. hug a tree, but for some reason some of them thought it was really embarrassing to have to apply suntan lotion to a ton of big rocks so they wouldn't get sunburned and then have to turn over each rock and reapply it as needed when someone got trapped . going in the wrong direction or cutting the shower line in a basic statement for the infantry, the drill sergeant would make them wonder about that random repeated beeping in the wrong direction, otherwise it was totally silent and they looked like broken robots.

I once spent 12 hours cleaning screens. Windows, that doesn't sound bad. Try this? Find a small wire the same gauge as the holes in your window screen. Gently push the cable through the hole in the screen to make sure the hole is empty. Repeat for three minutes and then watch. away from the screen, anything strange with your eyes, try it for hours. A guy in a warehouse dumped a pallet full of assorted nuts and bolts from a forklift. The boxes broke 100 thousand little nuts and bolts everywhere, of various sizes, and he had to sweep them up. in a stack repair boxes fit each nut onto a bolt to make sure the size then the stack was inspected then had to remove each nut and bolt and put the bolt into the proper box then put the nut into the box adequate probably 25 or 50 per box I don't remember, it doesn't sound that bad right, it took 3 12 hour days, he wasn't allowed to sit down, he had to bend down at the waist, pick up a small nut and screw it in, straighten it out, screw it in. together then we bowed for another but more than 100 thousand times I think about it during an inspection in basic training a piece of Lynch was found in our dryer I ordered the intruder to be handcuffed and a detention center built where the intruder could be interrogated I owed I have a report detailed about who he was, where he was from, and what he was doing in the building.

My grandfather's career vet had a story about a guy who had things taken away from him as punishment, apparently before he was done, he didn't have any. socks, no laces or underwear and they removed the inside of his helmet eventually they removed one of his kidneys my brother told me that when he was in basic school a drill sergeant yelled like that guide to hit him in the face with the intention of doing push-ups he said boy I had no idea admit it and quickly punched himself in the face very, very hard and fell to the ground.

The drill sergeant had to lead him away and my brother said he could be heard laughing hysterically as he walked behind a bell. Another basicwas a A soldier was caught walking to the showers without wearing any clothes, just holding his towel and walking naked. The showers were in the same bay and it was just men from the bay who built a female driller from another platoon who came in and saw him and made him fall. doing 50 pushups while naked and a fetish was born a friend of mine had addy he would make anyone who did something stupid throw a smart water in case it helped a guy i worked with had a habit of falling asleep at his desk he was a real bastard unfortunately he was also a one star general son they made him sit at his desk with one of those yoga exercise balls the fool still fell asleep but he hit his head on the desk or fell he also decided to tell it His supervisor had an appointment , but instead he took a nap in his room, the police were called and he was arrested for dereliction of duty.

Fun stuff got stuck on my iPod and I ran around camp for almost two hours with my iPod. over my head screaming I'm a damn stupid my iPod in the camp the enemy was attacking our camp. I then proceeded to put my iPod in a plastic bag, then taped it to my helmet and from then on I responded to the private iPod when my instructor shouted play I had to sing skip I had to change songs etc. lasted two weeks even during the night when I had 1/2 hour to sleep play any barbie girl in private I was once in the Navy stationed in Kings Bay and at the Navy submarine and training base in rural south Georgia, USA .USA, a stone's throw from Florida, because this base may or may not contain nuclear weapons, there is a marine security detachment battalion stationed there too, most of these poor idiots had just left the marine death camp and They were hot and heavy to go to the center quarter aft and shoot some towel racks.

Unfortunately, they had landed in a swamp in rural south Georgia. Needless to say, they usually made much worse decisions than their superiors, however, usually. I disciplined them well. Among the

punishments

I witnessed was the following: a group of Marines had decided to play soccer and kill an armadillo. They were forced to hold a full

military

funeral for the poor creature and then stand guard at his grave for a week. 24 hits and seven in dress uniform in the middle of summer, remember this is in a swamp in southern GA. One Sunday morning I was heading out early smoking and drinking coffee outside the Marine barracks when an interesting sight appeared, but there were 13 Marines, 12 of them were running and carrying a telephone pole on their shoulders, 6 in front, 6 In the back, man 13 was in the middle of the pole hanging from it doing push-ups while the other man carried the telephone pole. 12 marines running after a certain number of stops, exchanged with one of the 3 from the aircraft carrier. 3 talking about this base may or may not contain nuclear weapons, the marines had to do regular patrols driving slowly in hnm wvs or armored vehicles around the storage. bunkers and the base in general apparently there was a problem with the marines in the vehicles falling asleep and going off the road.

Brilliant and company had the next great idea: only one marine would be in the vehicle while the other marine would run behind it. If the vehicle started to go off the road, the racer would wake up his fellow driver and they would change him, it didn't take long; However, for this plan to fail, the patrol vehicle went off the road, crashed and the running Marine stayed the course by crashing into the back of the vehicle and being knocked unconscious in Sami basic training, one soldier lost his canteen and asked the drill sergeant if he had seen it.

The instructor got angry about this for some reason and made the soldiers wander around for a few hours asking everyone. types of inanimate objects if they had seen his canteen selling things like a truck have you seen my canteen? saw a USMC drill instructor make a recruit find Iraq name a dignity and then throw it away poor idiots spent the next three hours asking people if they had seen his friend with dignity and walked around shouting it. I have an opposite story where we punished our superior when he was in South Korea in the mid-2000s.

We had an absolute stamp. The left tenant walked as if his shit didn't stink. he knew everything there was to know, like most, he will joke one weekend, a group of us were walking back from the PX loaded with beer and snacks for the weekend as if each of the others had at least one box of beer and some bags. each with our hands fully occupied, our lieutenant walks past us and we nod and say sir, instead of saluting, most officers won't make you drop all your junk just to at least salute the good ones, but this guy He gets angry because we don't say hello and continues. to do PT the Frick for about 30 minutes after that, every time we saw this guy, we would grab everyone, we could form a line with about 20 feet of distance between each person and I would walk up to him, I would have to say hello to everyone.

One of us didn't care where he was when we saw him, we had about 20 soldiers heading towards him just to say hello. The best was when he was on his cell phone because he had to leave it every 10 seconds just to say hello. All of us, this lasted about three weeks, he greeted everyone all the time, every day, but he finally got tired and asked us not to greet him anymore; the guys were grabbing butts in formation, we were doing some field training drills. and our drill sergeant caught them, made them hold hands all day and also assigned them as battle buddies during the day, so they had to go everywhere together.

He told them that every time another drill sergeant asked why Frick were holding hands, they were only allowed to say one thing, he told them to shout it because we love each other drill sergeant, this is the best airman, he will bring you ten years of happiness in return. like this video if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I post new videos every day until then watch another video or in any case have a great day, magnificent people.