Mick Miller - In The Club

There is usually only one that lives there. Black Bull, I bet you've all been to Blackpool, have you been to Blackpool? They both want weekends. Oh it's a fabulous place, you've got the best drunks in Blackpool and I discovered that the best drunks are in a kebab shop these days. You know, because that big piece of fat hanging around on a stick that's like a beacon to an idiot, that's because no one needs to give updates just something about the order in case there's a fight because you know the bread doesn't you put all the middle things in your shoe my hobby is watching drunks I love kids in

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s you know like the crazy one for four bottles there you know four bottles of Buddha Money, then the bouncers throw them out, kill me, yes, no It was me, miss, it wasn't me, well, it wasn't me, miss, they are thinking on the side and the children are going to cover themselves.

I love seeing drunks. The best drunk is Christmas morning because every pub in the country Christmas morning always full of men all new sweaters all over the poop reeks of Hugo Boss I'll leave the pub a pass for Christmas Day and they always do well and when the kids enjoy New Year's Eve that's the best thing in it's New Year's Eve, everyone is your friend, he's there, any counter, everyone and your friends and you're his new new Marone: there's more beyond, I'm out if you ever need to think ding-dong Happy New Year if you look at my wife, I'm on a rocket Blin like that friend Why do drunks always look at your shoes?

Did you notice that IQ stands next to a drunk Akira? They almost look stunned, there they go, they take a step back, another look, but they all say the same thing, dear Babloo, but black. Paul, I went to one of those fortune tellers in Blackpool and I said "I want my palm read" and with a key she said "do you believe in reincarnation" they said no and I didn't believe it when I was a frog and she got the crystal ball. She said you're not going to have any more children and the ball fell off the table and crushed my knockers.

Children are fun from early on, no, why I don't know. I'll return it great. I love that you know pleasure. Blackpool beach I love it and I took my son to Blackpool pleasure beach alone for an hour at the end like 600 quid and I come out of the showground and there's a Welsh guy getting into his car. He said: Excuse me, buddy, and my car won't start. Do you have any connection cables? He's giving out all these phone numbers in Cardiff, so no, come on, put in all the farming communities and I once went to a farmer, he said he can use me on the land, he said.

No, we have special things, ladies, have you noticed his mannerisms when he said alcohol, it turns into a little sex? God stood there in his lemon bibs with white trim, a black sock stood there trying to be a Chesterfield Chippendale and then he comes out with those sexy words didn't he wake up? dear friend wants to see you that's when the actress comes out in new girls Joan Collins no when I married you I thought you were brave you should adore me, mates, if you want half a man, you take the children to the circus, who is our man about being a circus.

I took a photo with the Chinese magician. His name was there too long. He came juggling four stiff-necked geese and we had them. We have these Cossack dances and. I think the money to pay them should dance, get up, two companions finished the game of golf, they entered the

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house on the first mobile, hello, honey, how did your golf go?, he said, I played very well, I played very Well today, she, honey, you know? that sporty Mercedes has one in the garage she said we'll go get it, take it she said you deserve it go get it she said thank you darling thank you bye it's goodbye who is this phone did you see the post office?

I just paid 18 million pounds for a machine and this machine can sort 25,000 letters a minute and then they give them to a guy on a bike 10:01 I've been on a train lately I love traveling on trains you never laugh now they have three takes peg on a train, you know, and it only has four computers and I just want to continue with an ironing board. Oh, an edge trimmer, another one. I was there a long time. I loved going to London and I couldn't believe, obviously, where I was. The queen lives, it's like a palace, it's shot, oh he's got a guy standing outside and his red kennel jackets would have taken him here.

Prince Philip said: what do you think of your uniform? He said the steam skin keeps falling off in front of the head, but if I'm doing this Park Lane Hotel jig and I'm going in French, so I could have booked it for the night please, and he looked at this hairstyle, he said, do you think that you can afford it. I said yes, he said this 380 pans Essaouira, you see, we like a shower or bath, so what's the difference? Each of you sits in a bath. Well, I found the ambulance for him. We got in this room and the wife said, "Let's take the little bottles of shampoo." I said get on that stool, and Tails and the pole, get everything right, this hotel they had everything there, the other jacuzzi, they have a spa there, so I was fixing this spa, you know, I have a bottle of milk, some odd numbers there, the sauna.

Well, I've never been in a sauna in my life. I thought I got my money's worth, yeah, so now I'm sitting in a sauna after being naked with six strange guys. I bet my lips on this ladle trying to get a drink they have. a pool well, I've been in a pool for 25 years. I didn't know the technology when I went to a pool, if they wanted me to go out, they come with a big bamboo pole, do you know that now there is a chemical in every pool and if a man pees in the water it comes out bright blue it's like ink and the nose did it and if a woman pees in the water it comes out pink well me and my wife wrote this pool in which we were as if they were red arrows this is for girls girls true story what does this true story tell you my next door neighbor He is 47 years old, he has two teenage daughters and they are both working.

Last week he had to go to the gynecologist for a checkup, so he got the girls up to work. the shower was prepared all the time the environmentalists open the stirrups make a wish the gynecologist said to we said you've made an effort he said you've really made an effort he said I see a lot of women in this job you've made an effort she's lying down thinking about What are you talking about? He got ready, he went home, she has dinner ready for the two girls. At seven, the older daughters ran in and left, Mom.

I forgot to tell you this morning, don't wear my flannel, it's full of glitter. I have a drink there, where I watch TV. I'm going to drink it and girls, that's like an honestly real two-story story, it would be fun to imagine two women in the maternity hospital, one was elegant, warm or normal and this elegant woman who sat next to later, when I had my first baby, my husband bought me some. apartment in Marbella this woman said she stood in line anyway and I she died my second child he bought me a Mercedes sports car she very pretty, very, very pretty she when you had your first baby did your husband buy you something?

Yes, he bought me something. elocution lessons she has not worked they have she is in our vices they get angry but now I say very well well that German normally they have shot you there have a good life he has a lot of advantage and if a point look here again hello greetings thank you very much do you want to change That understand this about drinking and driving I have reduced my driving time because alcohol killed my mother my dad got angry and shot any of the Galapagos Islands any year I just leave that there my love well, we are from the web, a cheater , while you live, the oven was launched, I'm sure there are some good parts.

I went in there, no one talks unless you have a little force in your mouth. Put some money in it. jukebox make universal records okay nothing please rapist sir I'll give you the caps back always remember it gets dark at the end of the day when that guy London on the moon and he also said one small step for man , a giant. jump for humanity what he actually said was there's no way a cow can jump over this, I don't like America, that's what kids in America took to Disneyland and they can slap you on the back. the rear.

There they told me that Disney World couldn't believe it. I'm one of you, Lance, I have a boy, six stupid ones, each boy, but he wanted them, he wanted, you know, a Mickey Mouse table lamp for his bedroom, so he bought it anyway, you know, go to the box and this American you know what they are. Excuse me sir, are you English? I said yes, he said well this lamp won't work on your English electricity. I said yes, can you give us a long lead by being part of the equity since we are members of the equity?

I don't remember the movie Tenko about the Japanese prisoners. war welfare being a member of equity and they were filming it in Lancashire, they called you around this time, you want to be an extra, so anyway I went to the filming of you know, tenko and there's me and the costumes, you know? as Japanese prisoners of war there were a seventh million blokes and this producer came up and he wasn't exactly, you know, a prop forward for Wigan, he said what are you supposed to be? I told him I'm a Japanese prisoner of war, you said. it must be seventeen stone I said they just caught me yesterday you have been a fabulous crowd thank you for coming to see us all I need an empty glass now you have a small empty glass my love you know the younger years have just moved in you know and you never found the box with the rest of them, so I'll end my party with a viniq.

Imagine a guy on the radio during the Noddy children's show and he hates children, he needs children like a moose needs a coat rack and he's been doing this for 20 years every Monday morning on the naughty children's radio show , they hate children and he's an alcoholic, don't forget he's on the radio and I think it sounds something like this morning's naughty show for kids, everyone listen to your radios, what a naughty little guy he is waking up today, isn't he going to the bathroom to wash? Can you hear the little mischief-maker filling the sink with water? small nod has a large sink small bathroom then goes down to breakfast while posing like a milkman cup of tea was called some toast an egg ruler that he got in his car with his friend Gordon Gordon and continues with his rolling days Toscani Buckland any of the main Scottish Indian Red Hawkeye the new anyone lady.

Indian Cowan, wait a minute, which one of the pastry shops in Glasgow said it's what a custard, our meringue, he said no, you're not wrong, it's a custard and geometry. Scott is stopped in the car and Nadi should cut everything off, she won't go. all for a man said what's up hey hey father there was no water that rainy Nick no more washing why she thieves no water Ned lumps hey what's wrong with my car hey man he said in the carburetor I should often not have to do it you have a super afternoon good night god bless you thank you