Michelle Obama has advice for girl's battling self-doubt

I wanted to ask you, Mrs. Obama, you know? Many women struggle with

self

-

doubt

, right? And if you do. How do you get over it? Mmmmm. I talk about this all the time, especially with young women I know, because they look at people like us in these positions. And they think, well, you must have been born in that place, which is the 11th reason why when I meet young

girl

s, I don't care where in the world it is. I don't want them to know. Michelle Obama, the former first lady. I want you to know it. Michelle Obama, that

girl

from the south side of Chicago.

I want to tear down that wall of impossibility to let them know that I am them and they are me. And yes, every other moment I have

doubt

s because when you and Sissi he does that intentionally with women and girls, he starts at a very young age. Are. We question our value, our worth. We wonder how we look, how we speak, where we come from. They are people with power who want us to stay small. They want us to continue doubting. And so our cultures reinforce that. So the one thing I want young girls to understand is that those feelings are real.

They are not crazy. They are indoctrinated in all of us. And we carry them with us all our lives. And I don't care how far you go, or if you get to the White House, you're constantly fighting. These negative messages are being insufficient. And yes, I deal with that and I don't want young women, young girls to get ahead of themselves and think that they have to fix everything now to break the cycles of negativity, you have to get up every day. and do the work before you. That means getting your education when the opportunity presents it

self

.

And then focus on that, do the work, do the homework and move on to the next stage of life. Because if you take those small steps over time, you will build another story for yourself throughout your life. No one can do that for you. You have to review your life. And we, as women, sometimes feel like we have to have done everything right before we can take credit for the things we've done. But there is power and what we do every day. And I have to remind myself of that at every moment. But now that I'm older, I can look back and say: yes, I am worthy.

I have value, but it's not worth it because I'm sitting here. I had that courage when I was three, when I was five, when I was seven, when I was 12. And young girls have it now, they just have to take the time to realize it and be patient. yourself while doing it. Because the process takes a lifetime, it takes a lifetime. I'm going crazy now that you just said that you deal with self-doubt all the time, like somehow that doesn't seem right deep down. Write back there. Me too. Back there I thought: Don't stumble, don't follow me.

It is not like this? Same thing, same things Amal and I said: What are you wearing? Is this color correct? Well, it would be stupid to be doing this job with you and besides, what are you wearing? So what do you do, Amal, when doubts attack you? Because that's what it feels like, right? It feels like an attack. I don't know. I mean, I think I feel very excited about the people I love and having an amazing family and friendships and, you know, now two kids looking at you hoping you have all the answers. And if it becomes clear why we're doing all this, you know, and I think it's like I imagine them and there's only five of them, so they're not aware of current events.

Yes. And if you don't believe it, I bet they know more than most people. Well, actually, my son drew a picture the other day of a prison and said, Putin should be here. And I was like, oh my God. Maybe I went a little and didn't know anyone. I don't know what you heard, but I'm working in Ukraine now. I know, but I think in a few years, maybe five or more, when they start learning about some of these issues that we're talking about and what's happening in the world. And you know, when they ask us, what did you do about it?

What did you say about that? Do you know what my answer will be? And I hope it's good. I think it's important to tell all girls that you can be anything you want to be. You can be a mom and a working mother or a working woman and not a mom or a mom and stay at home like all of these options are. Well. And guess what? You can also make mistakes with your children. The same. My children, my daughter was five years old, the oldest of hers, and she told her doll to sleep with her because she had HIV and she needed to take care of her.

And I thought, Oh my God, I've gone too far in my work. No, prison drawings? No. I have a question that I would like everyone to answer because I thought it was a brilliant idea. So Girls Opportunity Alliance asked girls to write to their 25-year-old selves. And since we're so young, I'm going to ask you to reverse that. What would you and I start here with you, Melinda? What would you say to your 25-year-old self now that you've lived a life? I would say that life is even more beautiful than you imagine. And I would tell my 25-year-old self: In high school you knew who you were and you gave up some of that for a lot of reasons.

The people, the situations, the college people around you, you knew who you were and once you learn to go back to being the girl you were in high school that's when you become the full woman you could be. Boom, Mrs. Obama, that part is just what I would tell myself: you are good enough, you are valued, you are worthy, your story matters, your voice matters. You will do the great things you know you can do. There was something that struck a chord. It's like we all knew who we were when we were little. We knew our power.

So it was just a second guess. So I would tell myself to follow that instinct of paying attention to that flame in you because it's real and keep it fed. And don't let anyone try to turn it off because you're going to need it. Once inside. It's so inspiring to hear Mrs. Obama and Melinda Gates share what they would tell themselves when they were 25 years old. I think the best thing I would say is if there is nothing, if there is one good thing that someone can invest in and have the best interest in this world, it is knowledge and let's continue to encourage our girls.

Keep doing it. Keep believing in yourself. Continue. You will go in there. Continue. Let's take her there. There is no interest between them, what they said. I know it's hard to be the last one on this. You know, I would say that you define failure as not trying, because actually going for things and falling flat on your face is okay. It's a learning experience. It makes you stronger. But if you don't try and if you don't really follow your dreams or even admit what they are and pursue them, something will stay with you. So the idea is to do it.

Get there and take others there because you work all over the world. Where in the world are you most worried? What is happening to girls and women right now? Everywhere? Unfortunately, I mean, right now I'm working with our foundation gathering evidence of crimes committed against women and girls, among other people, in Ukraine. You know, I have spent seven years working on cases where I represent women who were victims of slavery and sexual violence committed by ISIS. And those are women from Syria and Iraq. We know that one in three girls in the world has suffered sexual or gender violence.

That is a huge number. And the problem is that it will continue to happen if we do not take responsibility. So at our foundation, we call what we do doing justice, because, you know, we can't take for granted that justice is just going to happen. You really have to fight for it. You have to make it happen. And it can't even be taken for granted that things are going in the right direction. We are thinking of going back. You know, ask a girl in Afghanistan where the clocks have gone back. 20 years of her rights against that.

I also see through my work that the bravest people in the world are women and girls who have sometimes suffered the worst crimes, you know, genocide and sexual slavery. And they are the ones who fight back, fight for justice. And I have to say, you know, today, seeing on our screens what's happening in Iran with girls who have suffered, you know, the worst brutality, but a protest movement and, you know, led by girls in school uniforms who They face a regime that is using force to torture and kill. And they are still determined because if they are not the ones on the front lines, they cannot rely on others to make change.

And I think that's amazing. And I think it also gives us perspective. If girls like this can risk everything to be free to show their hair and have basic freedoms, then we can all do more, you know, from where we're sitting. And I find that really inspiring.