Michael McIntyre’s hilarious dog wedding text prank on chatty man Alan Carr

Who would like to play Send All? Cheers and applause Let's welcome one of the funniest men and, more importantly for Send To All, one of the most popular men in showbiz. He's sensational and wonderful, what a pleasure to have him here, it's Alan Carr. Applause and applause. Oh my god, Alan. How are you? I'm so nervous. I've never been so nervous. I'm so sorry, I know. A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC SHOUTS ENCOURAGEMENT Thank you, love, thank you. Everyone has a great time doing it. Who are you here with tonight? With Paul, Angelica and Michael. Paul, Angellica and Michael, what's up with that?

Applause and applause You two recently got married, right? If we marry. Yes. Applause and applause Congratulations. Was he on the reserve list? Was there a reserve list? LAUGHING This is awkward! Normally there's a... It was very intimate, it was very intimate. And obviously, Adele, Adele got ordained and married us. And she paid for everything. She did? Yes. So this was in Las Vegas? Was it in Las Vegas? No, in Los Angeles. In her backyard. Oh, amazing. Yes, next to a trampoline and a patio heater. It was lovely. It has a small place. Well, congratulations. And do you have a new dog?

Yes, we rescued a dog from Korea. Good. And how are your other dogs? Oh, Bev and Joyce, you're great. They are really nice. However, they hate the new dog. They're like... Oh, that's always a problem. I don't think they speak Korean. That's the problem. Good. You know, I actually went on YouTube because the dog wouldn't listen to me. Then I learned something. Anjda is sitting. Then I'm leaving, anjda. I still didn't realize it. Anyway, listen, I did my best. So, being away from your phone… Oh! Have you ever walked away from it? No no no. The problem is with my phone, because I used to work in a call center and I hate talking on the phone.

I hate it. I have a pathological fear. I can almost feel the headphones tightening around my head. Don't you like talking on the phone? No, I pretend I'm going into tunnels. Because I was there for like five, six years... What did you sell in the call center? No, I was... VOICE SINGERS: Barclaycard lost and stolen. He still has it. Okay, well, if you want to place... Woohoo, this is killing me. He's sweating. I'm sweating. You don't like the phone anyway. This is going to destroy my career and I could end up in a cash register. If you want to place your mobile phone on the cushion there.

Big hand to Alan for going through this. Applause and applause. I'll wind this up. MUSIC: Hung on Madonna Yes. # Waiting for your call Baby night and day # I'm fed up # I'm tired of waiting for you... # Here we go, ladies and gentlemen. Thanks Alan. Thanks thanks. I'll take care. This should appear there. And there it is. It's Alan Carr's phone number, ladies and gentlemen. That is your telephone. And there's the lovely Paul, dressed in his leopard-skin pajamas. Let's take a look around us. So, oh... This is... It's Bev and Joyce in Lincoln, having a drink at a watering hole.

What can you see. I don't know why I explain myself. Taking a drink from the feeder. Oh... This is... LAUGHTER What is this, Alan? I was at the zoo. I am the one on the left. LAUGHTER Wow! OK... Getting ready to walk the dogs? LAUGHTER This needs an explanation. It was a sketch of the one he was dressed as. Yes. Umm... wow. Jabba the Hutt and...? Yes, someone made a cake because they thought I looked like Jabba the Hutt. Okay, there are too many fun photos here, but we have... Wow, okay. LAUGHTER Very good. OK. My God!

LAUGHTER Enough! I'm going to stop it. Nobody wants to see that. Okay, we'll stop. Let's enter the

text

. Wonderful news. What a nice start! Bev and Joyce have announced... ...via a dog whisperer... LAUGHTER ..that they want to get married... LAUGHTER ..in a civil partnership. LAUGHTER Very sweet. It's a really sweet start. Adele has agreed... LAUGHTER ..to give Joyce away... ..and it would be an honor for us... Oh, no. LAUGHTER...if you walked Bev down the aisle. No no no! LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE No way! Don't worry, we will provide you with poop bags. Guests will eat from dog plates...

LAUGHTER Oh... ..and there will be a DJ by Snoop Dogg. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Let me know if you are up for it and if you have any other ideas to make this the

wedding

of the century. OK. Just to encourage people: "Don't hold back, Hello, you're paying." We are more fine. OK? OK. To be honest, we're more Take A Break. OK. OK they are paying. Yes, they are... Yes, yes. How would you finish a

text

? Just a kiss. I always put a kiss. Would you just give him a kiss? Always a kiss. I'm just going to put dog.

Yes. And then we will look for a big heart there. Yes, a heart, yes. And then the girlfriends. OK. Shall we send that, ladies and gentlemen? Applause and applause OK. That's gone. Many thanks to the amazing Alan Carr. Tonight... Hi Alan. ..I sent a text message and we have been inundated. Flooded. Okay, this is the text we sent earlier. READ THE MESSAGE That was sent to everyone on his phone. Let's take a look at what happened. So, I think we'll start, Alan, with Aunt Janice. Oh no... Quick response. "How cute. But aren't they sisters?" LAUGHTER That's true.

That's true. Good Aunt Janice. Jamie Redknapp. Jamie Redknapp said: "Is Snoop Doggy Dogg going? "Count me in Al." Two thumbs up emojis. "Do I really have to walk the dog mate? "Kinda weird, right? To be honest, Adele's right, she's A-list. "Maybe she needs an update." Aw! I'll text her back. "Is your dad available?" LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Sorry, Jamie "Is your dad free?" No, you're not sending that. Oh, no, no, I'm not. Yes, yes, yes. Will I be expected to walk on all fours? "Will the vicar be wearing a dog collar? Good. "PS: have you finished decorating? "Can I have my table back to wallpaper?" LAUGHTER Do you still have that?

A what? Did he lend you a table to wallpaper? No. He was wrong... He was wrong person. You have the wrong person. He lives in Manchester. Why would I borrow yours? I'm sure I can get one in London, right? Who is Andreas Wild? Andrew, yes. He is this German hairdresser. He talks like zis. A German hairdresser named Andreas? I know, who would have thought? You couldn't make up for it. Wonder bar, wonder bar. CAMP GERMAN ACCENT: OK, so it started with "Oh my God!" That's typical of him. Is he? It's really brilliant. Andreas says: "My God... "I'm already planning my outfit." LAUGHTER That's right Andreas.

And there's more. "Yes, I'll do your hair. And Sebastian..." Who is Sebastian? He's his partner. Of course he is! Andreas and Sebastian from Germany. "...and Sebastian is making a Frankfurt cake." LAUGHTER "Congratulations." And then He sent another text message, saying, "This is very exciting." "I just told everyone in Germany." LAUGHTER He says, "I just told everyone in Germany, where I am now. "Well, no one knows who you are, but they're really happy for you anyway." LAUGHTER My goodness, Andreas and Sebastian Oh no... Oh, this is... This is brilliant, by Chris Moyles. This one from Chris Moyles simply says: "Send my love to Michael." So, he obviously knows what's going on.

I guess you're on his show since you haven't texted me since 2013." LAUGHTER Sebastian? That's Andreas' partner? That's the one, he's the one who makes the sausage pie. Oh.. "Happy to do it, love, but "Oh, this is brilliant. This is really fun. "I'm glad, love, but I'm sorry for Bev's downwind lady. She's right." Oh, Phillip Schofield. Come on, Schof. "I'd love to. Why don't we have the

wedding

in Hyde Park? "Then you can drink tequila and fall headlong into the Serpentine... "..again." LAUGHTER Did that happen before? Yeah. I drank tequila with him at Chatty Man, and then, you know, I was walking the dogs on The next morning, the dog dropped the ball in the Serpentine and I bent down to pick it up, but I think all the tequila went to my head and I just fell.

LAUGHTER And you know, on the news, When the dog. jump to help you? The dogs stood there watching. It was embarrassing. GLASWEG ACCENT: Bridge-o, Kevin Bridges. "The chemistry between those two was terrifying. "Love at first sight." It would be an honor to walk Bev down the aisle. "You should invite Sir Kenny Dogleash," the super furry animals. Congratulations, friend. "Hopefully there are some grandparents on the way. "Woah, woah, bro." Who better to receive the puppy's text message than Paul O'Grady, ladies and gentlemen? Oh! Paul. LIKE PAUL: "Well, I already got it I have heard everything. But yeah, I'd be delighted. "I can't do the voice for him, can I?

Liverpool, it's a bit Liverpool." I'd be delighted to do the honours. "If you need a bridesmaid, I'll bring Conchita. "I'll wear my Indian wedding outfit, full turban and sash. "Wish the happy couple my congratulations from me." Very sweet, very sweet. Paul... Paul O'Grady gets what he deserves... For the love of dogs. Yes. Applause Kerry Katona sent a text message. Four crying and laughing emojis. "I love it. "No..." LAUGHTER "Don't you think I've been down that damn hallway enough?" LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE Ladies and gentlemen, a truly sensational and

hilarious

Send to everyone, the fantastic Alan Carr, Ladies and gentlemen .Applause and applause.

Absolutely brilliant.