Maya Rudolph Mother’s Day Monologue - SNL

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAYA RUDOLPH! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. OH, IT'S SO GOOD TO BE BACK! THANK YOU! OOOH. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. IT'S SO GOOD TO BE BACK. AND FOR THE MOTHER'S DAY EPISODE. AND FOR ME IT IS VERY SPECIAL BECAUSE I AM A MOTHER FOUR TIMES. THAT'S HOW IT IS. I HAVE FOUR BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, THAT I KNOW. HELLO, MAYA. BOWEN, SARAH, HELLO GUYS. WE WANTED TO SAY HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. OH, THANK YOU. YOU ARE NOT JUST A MOM. YOU ARE MOTHER. YOU ARE A LEGEND OF 30 ROCK. YOU'VE HAD YOUR FOOT ON OUR NECK SINCE THE YEAR 2000.

REALLY? OF COURSE, YOU WERE THE FIRST TO KILL THE HOUSE, QUEEN OF THE BOOTS. YOU HAVE REACHED THE STATUS OF EXTRA TERRESTRIAL MOTHER. ME? MOTHER? YOU'RE RIGHT. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NAME IS MR. INFINITE DECORATION. WE DIDN'T COME TO PLAY WITH YOU HOES. WE CAME TO KILL, BITCH. AND ALSO DO SOME COMEDY POINTS. OH YEAH. THIS IS MAYA'S HOUSE NOW. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LOOK AT THEM, I GIVE YOU THE MOTHER OF THE HOUSE OF ROCKEFELLER. I AM YOUR MOTHER. I AM YOUR MOTHER. I AM YOU - Oops, I made you dance. DO YOU REMEMBER IN THAT MOVIE WHEN I POOP MY PANTS?

WHEN I WAS A BABY, HE POPPED IN YOUR PANTS AND I CHANGED YOUR DIAPER BECAUSE I'M YOUR MOTHER. WHO COINTED SWEATER TIME AND GOT ​​YOU A CAR MADE OF LEATHER, I DID IT. I ALSO SAID CLEAN YOUR ROOM, I'M YOUR MOTHER. IT'S MOTHER'S DAY, EVERYONE! TODAY WE CELEBRATE ALL TYPES OF MOTHERS. TEACHERS, MOTHERS, MOTHERS OF ANOTHER BROTHER, MOTHERS OF A DANCER, OCTOMOMS. WHAT ABOUT DOG MOMS? AND THEM? AND HONEY, THAT'S NOT A DOG. THAT'S A BITCH. I AM YOUR MOTHER. I AM YOUR MOTHER. I AM YOU - SIGN UP BECAUSE I AM YOUR MOM. He is DAR QUEEN, HE IS DAR DRAMA.

THIS PLACE GAVE YOU CONE HEADS, IT'S 11:30 GO TO SLEEP. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FUN? IT'S ME, KAMALA HUNTY! I WILL ALSO RETURN THIS CAR IF YOU DON'T STOP HITTING YOUR SISTER. I AM YOUR MOTHER. MAYA! MAYA! NOT NOW, GIRL. MOTHER IS MOTHER. I KNOW BUT I HAVE A MESSAGE FROM THE GUYS. THE MONOLOGUE IS GIVING BODY-HATE-HATE. BODY-HATE-HATE? YES, MOTHER. THE RESULTS ARE HERE! TEN. TEN. I'M GAGED. Gagged? SAY LESS. LISA LOOPNER, DEBBIE D., BABA WAWA AND DOONISE. MARTHA STEWART GAVE A GOOD STEP, MARY CATHERINE GALLAGHER, SWEENEY SISTERS, DONATELLA, LISA OF TEMECULA. GIVING BEAUTIFUL, SERVING BEAUTIFUL, THEY DID IT LIVE FROM NEW YORK CITY.

I AM YOUR MOTHER. I AM YOUR MOTHER. I AM YOUR MOTHER. TONIGHT WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU. VAMPIRE WEEKEND IS HERE, SO STAY, WE'LL BE BACK