Lucille Ball was a 'Control Freak' - daughter Lucie Arnaz reveals to Joan Rivers -1990

We have spoken again with Lucy Arnez. Now you have three great kids who swam in my pool, yeah, and made a lot of noise, so that's what they do and when it's normal, and how do you raise them differently? How do you keep them away? the press well, I didn't do it much anymore, but when they were old enough to run I did, yeah, I don't know, I was a fan of my kids' photos, you know, for obvious reasons, I'm very protective, I'm probably a lot of mothers. They are like that, but everyone thinks that my mother was worth 462 million dollars and I had these fears of Frank Sinatra Junior, you know, I don't know, they were not justified, thank God, my children are fine, but what is going to happen?

When they grow up and they're going to find out that grandma was a big star mom is a star dad is a star we want to be stars would you let them into the business where they came to you right now and wanted to do what you did when you were a kid, that's a very good question and I thank you never one in 14. pretty good I can see why you do this now well you know it's very difficult if they have to do it if they want to do it for the right reasons because they can't do anything else that they have, you know what you have to do, God, if it makes you so happy, you have to do it, but you didn't know that when you were a child, no, but you already know it.

If they do it the same way I did, I mean, I saw what it was like to be as famous as you could, a lot of people don't know that a lot of people say, oh, you know what I'll do. be a perfectly happy person if I become enormously famous that will solve all my problems that's all I need then they get there and see that it creates a lot of other problems yeah, well, I knew what it was like to get to the top, so to stop I got into this not to be famous, it was because I loved acting, that doesn't mean it's a great profession, it's sporadic, you do it, you could let yourself know. if you're Meryl Streep, a couple million dollars a movie or if you're someone else, you only work once a year, you better make a lot because it sells out very quickly and God forbid, you get a five-minute series and you You move to the Hills you get the big house, you get the cars, you get the stuff and then the show is and then what you said, oh my God, now you're starting to live like you have Larry and I constantly say we have to live like normal. people and of course, no, I mean, we get it, you're tempted, you know you want the best for your kids, put them in private schools, do this, do that and then you're at the mercy of saying, I'll take that job, I won't. .

I don't want to do that job. I'm going to do this job. We're probably getting ready to do a lot more theater. Now head back east. Spend more time on the East Coast because that's what we love. You can not. You really make a good living in theater, but you can love what you do. You know your parents made a lot of money, not $40 million, but what did your father do when he finished the series? Your mother stayed active. Well, you know it was like that. when the marriage ended was really the key point the series ended when the marriage ended that's why they stopped and I mean my mother and father got divorced and that's why the show I love lucy stopped and after that he kind of He hid out and drank a lot and had some other shows that he pulled out of his hat a few years after those mothers-in-law and produced my mother's Lucy show and all that, but he progressively became more and more depressed and spent a lot of his money he gambled and practically hid and never got the acclaim that I think he deserved because he was the brains behind all that comedic talent and a brilliant comedian, absolutely.

Go back and watch Lucy's shows that she shows your dad. It's amazing, I always thought he was a lot funnier than her, naturally, I mean, as far as doing physical things, she was the queen, but as far as having humor and dry wit, he was, I mean, my I get humor from my father, not from her. which is weird, but I do, yeah, because he's a naturally funny kind of guy and he always used to see things funny, so he's kind of a downer that he ended up drunk, how did that get to you? Now they are not laughing at us because it is true.

It's true that many of us are right, I mean, it's strange, isn't it? And you look around, anyone who sees the punchline must have killed you, yeah, look, that destroyed me. I laughed throughout the whole thing when that scene came where his father came. he walked into the room and collapsed and couldn't continue. There are so many people who become the funniest people in the world because they have so much pain that they're trying to get over and thank God they have it, I mean, you never let go of it. because thank God for the makeup on your body that allows you to be a survivor no matter what, but you survived, you survived, the divorce must have been devastating, how old were you, seven, who was closest to your dad, my dad , but I?

I didn't allow it because I know what my mother would tell you now if you had asked me 12 or 14 years ago, but I know that emotionally he was closer to my father, but they always told me that he was a bad person, you know? No, no, that's not fair, don't be mad, I'm not a bad person, but there was always a little bit of the poor soul, you know, that poor soul can't fix his life, so I felt like God if I emulated him. If I admire him, if I'm proud of him, I'll end up like that, you know, on the contrary, but I also didn't like what I was seeing here because there's a

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freak

here and someone here, yeah, but she, you know, she had to be in charge 24 hours a day, she loved us in her own way, I'm sure she loved us the only way she knew how, because if you turn the circle back far enough, you can say, well, where did that come from?

I come from her family and I loved my grandmother, but maybe she and my mother didn't get along. You know, in some ways it's fascinating and sad that the circle goes on and on, so the bottom line is that you ask how I raised. my children, I have these three fantastic children, well, I didn't know that many of these problems existed until I had children, no one teaches us how to be parents, it is the only thing we are going to do and that is important in our lives, let's forget about marriage. forget career, you have a baby, you're supposed to raise it and send it out into the world, a complete human being, no one teaches you how to do that, so you rely on what you know instinctively but you don't know what you know. until it's time to say get that off the table where did that come from oh my god and then you start backing off and going well, I guess that's what I heard, you know, but wow, that's not right, and here I am and I'm trying to figure it all out now because either you pass it on or you stop it and fix it, you know, I used to.

What are you stopping and fixing? I'm trying not to do that. I'm trying to say what and now. Let's talk about why they had to put all that paint on all the furniture, kids, you know, I mean, it's about not having used ridicule and sarcasm to raise your kids, it's about giving them some kind of respect, your little kids are little blank pieces of paper that we brought into this world and they could be anything and it's what we put on them that makes them who they are. How old are your children when they are nine, seven and five?

What about drugs? They have had a family. You had a father who. I drank a lot your brother my brother emulated him I became an alcoholic and a drug addict he recovered but he had to hit rock bottom emotionally before he did that maybe I had to hit rock bottom emotionally where I saw something dangerous happening right? I saw myself walking away from a fantastic marriage, I'm not saying walking away, but emotionally distancing myself, distancing myself from my husband and I didn't know why you were talking about him being a romance addict. I just discovered it.

I just found that term. I discovered for the first time in my life that my whole life I ran towards what was the most romantic relationship, one relationship after another and as soon as one became sedative, oh, this is probably because my father was a romantic fanatic, well, I was full. of romance he would sing songs and play the guitar and light candles and we always had music in the house and he would perform live on stage, he could come up here and entertain you, that's very romantic, so when things got tough I would go to that would find that the romance would be cured at that moment you realize that it doesn't cure anything you are just running away what about your mother was she romantic and passionate?

I think about certain things yeah, I definitely think about her work and uh she was she was an organizer and a

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freak

can be a good thing if you run a country, yeah, and she ran a studio, but okay, but she's cool, yeah, Well, it's yours, uh, I mean, I really believe that and I actually ran a studio and he did it well, he ran a house and managed it well, his property is in perfect order, which is a blessing so that we don't have to go through For many things, she took care of us all, she took care of her husband. she loved us the way she could that's what she could do it was hard for her to really communicate to really be there she could be there her way did she realize that she couldn't get over it?

To you, well, I say no, but I wonder, I think maybe part of the loneliest loneliness she felt towards the end was exactly that, that she was never able to make this connection no matter how hard she tried. You know, but how nice that you are discovering this. because then you can have it with your kids I'm going to die trying oh I mean I'll never give up I just love you so much thank you we love you and I love you and I hope the

1990

s are your decades new decade we have to be different now no you have to be different, stay as I thank you