LIFE SUCKS, THEN YOU DIE! | Life: The Game

(Slap) Good morning guys, I'm Jacksepticeye and welcome to

life

, another cute little free

game

to play. I was going to say "Free to play horror

game

." I'm about to say a little free game to play, you can play it yourselves. I'll leave a link in the description like I always do (we know, Jack!) if you want to try it yourself first But it appears to be a very quick little game where you go through all the stages of

life

. Now I, personally, am only a quarter of the way there. That is, if so. , I live to be a hundred, that's what (doubtful chuckle) So, I don't have a full life yet, so I really don't know what's going to happen.

I don't know what will happen in the last few years. I'm almost 30. Well, yeah, I'm closer to 30 now than I am to 20. How crazy is that? (WE KNOW, JACK!) But I've played life's beginning, I've done life so far Which has been fine; It's been pretty good, so let's make it a game. Born! What's up! Push, push, push! Oh sweet Jesus, helpful little baby coming out (Laughing like a pervert) FOOMP!!! Play, it's okay. It's telling, this is not talking, this is music. This is singing, oh God, don't be faster than this Oah Jesus, this is a lot, this is a lot to take in A B C D, SUCK, SUCK, SUCK, SUCK A COCK.

A DICK (Welcome to the Jacksepticeye show! FOR KIDS!) I did it... Yay! I'm the best baby. Study! 12+5 is 17 the square root of 3? Uhhhh 20 Yes, I said it- A+! I can't believe I did math so fast (me neither) Ah, puberty...busting the spots What a shitty time puberty is How many of you are going through puberty right now? Ah, you're in for a great ride, teenage man, oh, those are fun... NO!!! So much pressure everywhere you have to do so many different things in your life You don't even know what the fuck is going on, these hormones go through you Um, oh, I'm on Findher, it's okay Yeah, God no, NO, yeah, why not, no (Of course he failed, Zoidberg is so SEXY) Damn gaylord What?!

Was Zoidberg wrong? Oh, I clicked on yes (pay attention, jack) It just keeps happening, I can't read what it says no, no, yes, why not Zoidberg? Oh, do I have to choose Zoidberg? Okay, it's a match! Sports This game is so fucking fast Wow balls... (thought) Oh man, I thought he was the best fucking beer pong champion the world has ever seen. What's up, I'm great at beer pong. Make coffee. Um, coffee, okay? hey milk Asshole, get out (Jack reads above) That's a little scary, I mean, I don't want to go to prison. Prison is a scary place Um, how do we make coffee?

Uh, sweet sugar, milk-MILK! I put cheese on it! Ohh, I made him sick again Okay, let's go to coffee, sugar, milk - PERFECT Excellent, you-you keep your job (making coffee) Because I have coffee, fucking coffee, ready? Um, okay, I need to get married Uhh, toga toga (not a toga) perfect Did... what? Is this the correct one? I think if I'm going to get married, this is exactly what I want to get married into (disappointed laughter) (Jack reads the above again) That's crazy! Okay, get married. It was showing me this on the final screen. Not that. They look good, now you have two sets of underwear.

Okay, get dressed, I guess. How BORING is that? (looks good) Getting married in a wedding suit Ohh, fancy man, getting married in a suit with your damn purple hair (he's just jealous) 3.... 2.... 1.... WHAT?! Isn't that the correct one? It said "Get dressed." The prison suit? No, the dress? No, the br-an? panties NOO He was showing me that on the final screen (insecure laugh) No... Okay, I'm going to put on the suit (now he realizes) OHHH, I have tiny boots! OHH, I haven't seen them before. Get kids... Am I pushing for kids again? It's a boy, it's-twins, TRIZOS, SQUARE-WHAT?

Uuuuuuuuum... Are you going to keep making babies? Jesus Christ! Beer, new car, that, this, you buy it all, you buy it all, it doesn't matter. Great! Panties, chili peppers and a movie ticket (Jack reads again) Do I have to buy everything? That, that, that- I know it says a list at the bottom, but I want to see what it says if I actually buy everything Sweet! A ticket Yay! On the way home you forgot to buy everything... I bought literally everything. Well, what do we need? A new car, travel tickets and weights. There's my new car, you don't buy them at the damn supermarket.

Weights and a travel ticket. This is how your life changes with your grandchildren! That?! Drag and drop grandkids Put grandkids on the fire (Evil laugh) (Jack reads again) Wait... On your first day as a babysitter to your own daughter No, that's just called parenting (Continue reading) Okay, I I also follow. Are they in the middle

then

? Like this? Yes Yes! Go away, no, STOP THESE DAMN CHILDREN! Why do children always want to be killed? For for!! (scream) You were fine!! They didn't set you on fire, you idiot! Well, go there, go there.