Life Begins at the End of Your Comfort Zone | Yubing Zhang | TEDxStanford

It's a cold, foggy winter morning and I'm standing on the highest bungee platform in the world. The platform I'm standing on is so small that I have to stand on tiptoe and balance against the wind. The operator ties one end of the bungee. He ropes it to my ankle and slackens in the air. I can feel the weight of the rope on my ankle slowly dragging me down. I look down, all the buildings and roads are buried in a dense fog. There's only one voice in my head. Can't. I don't do this, so I turn around and tell them I want to quit smoking and then I see a huge quote printed on the glass window right next to me.

Life

begins

at the edge of

your

comfort

zone

. I don't know why, but it's still so short. A powerful phrase gives me the final push and before I know it I walk straight back to the platform and jump from the highest bungee platform in the world during the 5 seconds of free fall. I remember thinking to myself that it's not as scary as it seems and that thought carried me. to a whole new world every time I hear the voice of fear in my head I can't leave this job because I won't find anything better I'm afraid to get into a new relationship because I don't want to be It hurt me again and even a minute ago, before going on stage, the voice repeated in my head every time I heard that voice.

I take a deep breath and tell myself it's never as scary as it seems, let me take you back to the summer of 2007, a remote village in Cambodia, a small room at the center for victims of domestic violence, it was my first day at work. I entered the room and was introduced to an 18-year-old girl named Chia. Chia was physically abused so much emotionally that she was shaking. all the time and she couldn't even look me in the eyes and on her face I saw fear, anxiety and shame and that day Chia refused to accept our help and went back to her husband and over the course of the next few months she did that over and over again. again he only comes back with more bruises and cuts Chia knew she should leave her husband but she was afraid because she had been married to him since she was 14, she depended on him to survive and she didn't know she could live a long

life

. live alone to help Chia and thousands of other girls like Chia.

I started a vocational training program after three months of training. The magic happened. Chia regained confidence and dignity. She came out of fear of failure. She found a new job at a local hotel and separated from her. her husband, she began a new chapter of

life

on the edge of her

comfort

zone

. Sheia might be an extreme example, but I can see myself in her and maybe you can too. What are you not doing out of fear or not being able to find a partner? new job, starting a new company or asking someone out for me, it was the fear of public speaking, whatever it was.

I encourage you to try it because, as Chia discovered, I found, and I think you will discover too, it's never that scary. As it seems, you are stronger and more capable than you thought. The second story is about accepting uncertainty. My friend John lives an extremely comfortable life in Hong Kong. He works 9 to 5 and receives a very good salary, but he is dispassionate in his work. and life and he constantly complains that he has lived his entire life with the certainty that the fear of losing what he had prevents him from pursuing his passion until one morning I received a call from him.

I took a positive psychology class last quarter. Very inspired, I left my job today and am moving to Australia. What are you going to do with

your

life? I asked him and he said this is the first time in my life that I don't have a plan and I feel the same way. Scared because I'm excited the next time I saw him was 6 months later, he had just returned from Australia. A hypnotherapist with a traitor to hypnotherapist license. He surprised me when I saw him again. His face was pink. His eyes were shining. His whole body was simply. shining, he is living his dream right now traveling all over the world giving workshops and therapy sessions for thousands of people to find happiness in life and with joy I could see myself in John and maybe you can too, we all have a fear of uncertainty, give up.

All you have to do is chase a dream that may or may not work out. Loving someone with all your heart and no guarantees is incredibly difficult, but as John discovered, I found, and I think you will discover too, it is never as scary as it seems and it leads to more. possibilities and happiness in life the last story is about vulnerability and the last story is about me. My love for my parents is the strongest emotion in my life, but in Asian culture love is rarely expressed in words. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable telling you. love you or even share my feelings with them our daily conversation is a combination of what I had for lunch and what they had for dinner.

The word courage comes from the Latin roote C which means heart and the original meaning of Courage is to tell the story. of who you are with all your heart I don't know why I have the courage to be here today and share my story with you but I don't have the courage to tell my parents I love you they raised me with so much love love, they made me believe that I am worthy of love, not for what I achieve but for who I am, but I desperately want to be the perfect child for them.

I share my happiness and my achievements and I hold onto my struggles and failures, and how I am proud of my achievements. I didn't know that this created a huge emotional gap between us and we no longer shared the joy and pain of each other's lives. Journey. I have been experiencing a difficult time recently, ending three years with a broken heart. relationship many questions about friendship and a deep insecurity about the future a couple of weeks ago I returned from a grueling recruiting trip from New York the moment I walked into my room in the dark I experienced an emotional breakdown I called my mom and broke down to cry at that moment I heard her voice and for the next hour and for the first time in my life I shared my struggles with her and although she has not been with me on this journey for so long, she understands exactly what I have been going through. of reconnection after so many years it's like magic in the end I told her I love you and she said I love you too it's the first time I remember that any of us have said that I didn't expect that what I felt so uncomfortable before would come out so naturally and peacefully.

In the end I see life as a constant fight against your comfort zone you push it, you push it back what is the fear that stops you? What are you not saying or doing because it is outside your comfort zone? I challenge you to find that comfort zone today, step out of it boldly and when you feel comfortable again, push it even further, don't try to get rid of the fear, accept that you will be afraid and then do it anyway, as they say on high. from the bunge platform, life

begins

at the edge of your comfort zone thanks