Kyle Kinane - When Baseball Turns Disastrous - This Is Not Happening

Hey, I wasn't raised with sports, you know, it wasn't a thing. I think it's something that you're indoctrinated into

when

you're young, you're born, especially if you're a boy into something, it's like a way of bonding with your father. That's how you can have feelings towards a man that you created while the boys were playing sports and then that's like God, we don't just say I love you like the team and that's how my dad was, since my dad liked airplanes, he which is great. but it's not something that makes you angry. I got a seven twenty-seven

this

year, yeah, pop, and I'm going to tell me about that, so I wasn't raised with sports, wasn't that something that was put into me as a little kid like at a very young age like even the idea of competition was lost on me

when

I was a kid it just didn't make any sense you know because when you're raised as a little kid and the first thing you like your toys, but be nice to other people, it's been you like, you know, five years. , can't a girl be nice, be nice, share, bring enough things for the other kids, let's bring something to school, mention enough? for the whole class, you know, and then those are the lessons that you were raised with and then you just go to peewee soccer and all of a sudden they say okay, you know, peewee soccer.

I was excited about peewee soccer because I have a t-shirt that matches my socks, that's probably another clue that I wasn't going to like sports, that's just I really like clothes, you know, look, look, I can be just as nice , but we have peewee football and coaches like that, you know what? Okay, you'll see

this

ball here, kick it with no hands, just your feet, and we'll kick it. That network over there sounds like a plan. Wait, not so fast. You see those other kids over there who also have matching t-shirts in different colors. and socks, yes, they look good, they don't want you to put the ball in the net over there, why not?

Because they want to put that same ball in the net around here. Well, this seems like you could solve it with a conversation like this there in a way we will just discuss in a field, let's talk to him, guys, let's all do it that way, then next week we will do it that way until the day of Today sports always seem to be able to just talk it out, it doesn't make sense to me but I get it, when you get older you understand why, that's why you identify, it could be where you're from in the world, where you are, what city . you're from then, I think that will replace all earthly problems, you know, eventually we will be able to travel through space and Mars and it will still be the basic level of conversation, you will just be in some bar on the space station. but where are you from x13 your intergalactic deathball team sucks, like that's still the way to converse with anyone and I don't know if something like

baseball

enjoys

baseball

enough to enjoy it because it seems like it's a lazy sport. looks like it was originally designed for cats there's a guy looking at the sun over there a couple more are playing ball over here it's silly i like that everyone has to wear the same uniform even if it's like the manager and coach everyone dresses in uniform in case an accident happens, you know, the bus crashed, we need everyone out there in a 65 year old manager, well, I put on the stripes, here we go, it's time to end some of this osteoporosis for a championship.

I like it. I'll wear a baseball cap mainly because I'm a bald guy and there's a thing called Sol trying to kill me. It's the only item of clothing I have to answer questions about, although that's another thing I understand. it's just a hat, I mean this is simple because it's television and you can't support things, what is that real team, money, there's money, there's producers, they're upset about it, you can't see it, look, oh no I can. edit it, it's the only item of clothing I have to be responsible for in public, you know, because again it's that guy like Bob, the team that's there doing good or the bad guy, but you could have a conversation about it if you can not. go make a guy in a bar like a cool shirt, what, but now I have to know everything about the equipment because it's a hat, I have to wear only one item of clothing, just let me work, I wear Levi's, I don't have a favorite prospector. but I will go I will go to a baseball game once in a while I'm deathly afraid of real baseballs play catch once with a real baseball when I was a kid I played we played baseball with tennis balls we all thought we were cool The day someone found a real baseball, let's play catch at first.

I lost a son. He hit me in the face. Unnatural fear of baseball. This day is like going to baseball games. throwing miles I'll throw a baby in the path of that ball I don't care especially if he's wearing a shirt he could be on the team you don't know it's confusing he has the name of the garden he could go in there kid, play, earn your millions, so a kid from nine years old suffered a post-traumatic injury from a baseball and I'm just doing whatever you're doing when you're 9 years old, you know, I don't know, sit in the dirt in your front yard. don't think about anything just stick your thumbs in the holes you know what you're doing man these kids come through the neighborhood kids a family and no one knew him like they didn't go to the shitty public school we all went to and then they didn't No I went to the shitty Catholic school the other kids went to.

I think they were homeschooled. My mom called it weird. That's all I know. They are rare. There are a lot of them and they don't do the things that everyone else does. They're weird but they came up to me sitting on the floor like a family, you know, the real Little House on the Prairie, just nice, nice right away and that's suspicious when you're a kid, when you're 9 years old, you're just supposed to get hit. by strangers that's life and you see a whole family that seems to come over like hello you say oh what's the scam here we go I say well let's go play softball we have an empty lot next to our house and shy before we thought you'd like to play softball with oh my gosh soft is in the name so I might as well make this work so I go I go to the empty lot they let me inspect the ball. by 16 inches I'm squeezing it feeling it hit my body to make sure I can take a hit on the guard.

I'm going to try to do softball, try it, first we're in a run defense in the outfield and I. You just know I do what I do, classic Canaan, I miss it, I miss it, I don't even look at it, just stay, all the dandelions are fun, there it goes, you know, the wind waiting to be blown out of it like I expelled from all royal places. team sport I've been in right now and they're not like these they're not good you'll understand soon oh God what's going on? Then we are ready to bat. The children are doing well.

You know they're getting beat up, it's going well, but I just have to have fun, there's no one, no one is cursing each other. I'm like I don't understand this. I finally got up and I'm waiting for the symphony I'm in. I used to when I'm at the venue, like at a sporting event, especially for anything where I have to be on top, kick back, ball, tennis ball, baseball, whatever we're playing, I'm waiting that symphony that I'm used to, which is moving calmly, I'm like waiting for those three things that the three-part harmony contains on the plate, you know, one, two, three, you're right, I suck and I'll see them more late, wait for the foot, nothing that they are still out there optimistic like you, although you really should move a little and four pitches below, the first one comes big, like he didn't even know what the bat was, the fourth, the second one comes , I think I swung. before the guy even threw it in so the third one is just real it's real Disney movie style let's hope against hope just close our eyes and throw our shoulders and that works sometimes and this was one of those times in which I closed my eyes.

I felt the bat connect like in the heart of the dead center that is softball, like when you know if you've ever hit a ball with a bat the way it's supposed to be hit, like a boom, when I opened eyes expecting the leather to just fly away, but that thing just sailed up. Softball shouldn't even just fly, well I just looked at it thinking that's what I wanted, like I didn't even know there was a rest of the game. It was like no, that's it, see you later, you're welcome, but you don't just have to do the basics.

I'm back, there are the bases. I never got to the bases before the clocks and it's flying, so I rush the first boom, there's no one around. or chasing this thing this satellite that's just an orbit, let's go to second base I don't even know what second base looks like oh, there it is look, take a minute, touch it, there's no one around still in the air, you're getting married , go to third base this is like the moon landing for my family I get to third I decide let's not be arrogant take a minute let's stop at third and evaluate and get third and I look around still no one, the photos disappeared, everyone they're gone look away what I do what I have on the roof now this family had a daughter and I don't know what the correct term is now for what she had, but whatever it is, it's not something that goes away, she She was one of Jesus' special daughters and she was Playing at what was once considered a safe distance from the action down there, these young people wouldn't put our special baby in any danger, until the rocket arms reached the home plate line. when I discovered the girl, that's finally a victory in your life you want to know what the glory was it never matters during today you will never know the glory everyone ran on tour and she was down there like she couldn't say I don't know what denomination of what she had was because the distant and I only have nine on third base with a dilemma on my hands.

I'm seeing that I did that and that and I'm thinking this is a horrible thought at nine, even then I'm like, well, she is. I'm already like, well, that's what I did twice or half as bad as I could. She wasn't knocked out. She was sitting. She seemed confused, but you already know that and now I have to make a decision. Know?. See, I'm going to help, she had a lot of people who helped her. Am I going to help or no one? This is the only time I'll know what athletic glory is like. Should I run home?

I ran home. No, not to the base of operations. I ran home. I didn't know glory and I didn't discover what it was like to be a good person that day. I just ran home and cowardice was now the only athletic thing I had accomplished until December 22, 2012, the eve of my 36th birthday. I was back home visiting my parents for the holidays. I was in that same room. I ran back many years ago and in that room I farted so much that I set off the CO2 detector twice and a combination of those two events is the closest I get.

Will I ever get a 30 for 30 ESPN, thanks