Kunal Nayyar: Staying Present & Knowing Yourself

The mind creates fear and then the mind creates distress to overcome fear, so I realized that I was thinking about fear and I am thinking about overcoming fear. It was a big moment for me to realize, oh, I can't stop thinking about people who have an accent like you. It's like everything you say sounds wise. I'm looking at you and listening to your words and I'm thinking, what if it looked like you met the football captain? team in a 1950s movie are you saying my beard doesn't? your canadian accent evokes something totally different to me you sound like an nba analyst hi i'm bialik and welcome to my analysis this is the place where i analyze things so you don't have to be mine be alex's breakdown she will explain it for you 'cause you know she knows a thing or two and now she's going to break down she's a crisis she's going to break it down today we're going to break it down meeting

yourself

with Kunaliere, who played Raj on the Big Bang Theory for 13 years, nine of which I worked with him and Kunal is a really very interesting person, and I would say extraordinary, like an unusual person, both in the industry and in life in general. and he's going to break down a lot about the journey that he essentially went on while he was on the Big Bang Theory.

It's very, very interesting and this is a great episode. I'm just going to say it. I'm excited who he's excited about. pence my fly jonathan cohen i'll make you buzz around me any time i'm i don't know if that's what i meant i meant more you're trying to mind your business and i keep getting up at that saying look at me oh i thought you were just stealing this no I was making it all about me oh I like it and if the audience at home wants to make it all about you they can subscribe to the podcast and give us a five star review because it's very much it helps us earn more and you can also visit bialikbreakdown.com bia lik breakdown.com where you can ask mime anything yeah you scroll down and there's a little form and you can ask me anything about mental health and she will answer you on air.

We have received a lot of submissions and we want to thank you all, thank you very much for all the participation so far. The questions have been incredibly difficult. Some have been difficult. I thought they would be a little easier. why do i feel so bad inside is that your question jonathan every day oh just kidding i always feel good with you mime word of the day the word of the day is hypnotherapy tell us a little about it hypnotherapy is a form of therapy that involves the practitioner or therapist help the client or patient enter a very deep state of relaxation which is known as hypnosis and the idea that, as you know, magicians hypnotize people and make them quack like a duck and the power of suggestion.

It's a little bit removed from what we talk about with hypnotherapy, but the idea is that when you're in that kind of state you have more access to the unconscious mind, which means that you're not asleep, but you're in a kind of wandering. A kind of intermediate state of relaxation where you can actually focus better on the problems at hand and this can be very helpful for things like quitting cigarettes. Many people will use hypnotherapy more as a type of cognitive behavioral therapy and use it for repetitive treatments. behaviors and habits and things like that and the idea is that when we filter out a lot of the noise that is part of our conscious mind and our conscious experience, it gives us the opportunity to be more open and receptive to suggestions in this case um to get help with habits as an example or addictions and hypnotherapy is something that a certified practitioner would normally want and that should not be elitist or snobbish, but there are many techniques that are not hypnotherapy and that can border on things that are more suggestive and not necessarily ethically binding, while that someone who has gone through certification usually has more training on how to make them aware of an appropriate ethical therapeutic process and that's the word of the day, the reason we mention that today is because we talk about a lot about awareness of what We are aware of the lenses that shape our reality, for example, I may be interpreting that look you're giving me as if you don't want me to continue talking, but in reality that could be true or it could be not reality with a capital R. , it could be a projection, well, and one of the things that Kunal talks about in his journey towards a deeper understanding of himself, one of the first techniques he used was hypnotherapy, and that's why he talks about it in the context also from working on some panic disorder issues, panic attacks with hypnotherapy and then discovering there was so much more underneath.

You can only hear that he is an English actor, actually born in England, best known for the role of him. Like Rajesh Kuthrupali in The Big Bang Theory, Kunal also voiced the character of Gupta in Ice Age Continental Drift and is a Diamond and Trolls guy. I saw him acting opposite jesse eisenberg in the broadway production of the spoils. He has a bachelor's degree in business. administration and finance from the university of portland actually grew up in india after leaving england and then went to university in portland and has a master's degree in fine arts still likes it has a master's degree in acting from temple university this may sound strange , he has a very interesting Instagram feed, he started Buddha in jeans, Buddhist jeans which we'll link to on the site, he started Buddhas in jeans as a kind of expression of a lot of what I think he wanted, you know, during the last year, um, dealing with covid.

And I started posting a lot of really interesting reflections, spiritual reflections and mental health tips, so I really wanted to talk to him and find out how that came about, so it's a real honor to have him here. Welcome, channel, break it. Hello channel, thank you for being here, of course it is very special to be able to see your face, also because I was very used to seeing your face for about a decade of my life and it has been a real adjustment period, you might want to start. telling us where you've been since the big bang ended and what life has been like in a nutshell, first of all, it's good to see you too, for those of you who don't know, maya and i spend a lot of time together. and uh, you guys got really close on the show and it's really nice to see you after so long.

We'll see in a moment why it's been so long, but I thought I was going to take all this time off because that was fair to my family and my wife. I went to India four times in six months, so that was nice. I was able to spend a lot of time with my parents, but I got back into acting, you know, and I did a show for Netflix called Criminal UK, where I played a criminal and now I'm doing a show for Apple called Suspicion where I play someone suspicious, so I really I'm going the drama route, because you know it's important for me to be able to show the range that I have.

I think it's important for my career and it's also fun, it's fun to do a show with people shooting guns and making this face a lot, you know, it's fun, but at the same time I feel like I should have taken a little more time. I think there was a real excitement about diving back into it, it's like you need a break, but at the same time there's this window of opportunity that you really want to take advantage of at the same time, but looking back, no one could. I predicted the pandemic, the plan was to be in London but travel around Europe at the same time and it didn't work out, but I wish I had taken a little more time for myself and kept filming because that's how long it takes to film during the pandemic and I'll be filming until end of March, after which I will close it.

I'll really notice. I'll keep you for six months. We'll talk a little bit because I obviously know you like you do. He's a very skilled comedic actor and you're also classically trained, which people may not know, I mean, you have a fancy title, like you're a proper actor, you also played something like that, I mean, all of our characters were Like, you know, we were playful. cartoons you know about archetypes and you in particular you know especially your physical appearance you know the way they did your hair and you know that you are very elegant and you know that you are a handsome and handsome guy and you know that you played this character who was very, you know, al Amy Farah Fowler's side, I think I'm the worst dressed of all of us, although I guess it's debatable, but what's it like doing drama?

I don't know you as a drama actor because you know I worked with you. exclusively in this world of comedy where you have to be physical and funny and you know you are, yeah, I'm curious what it's like to take on a different role, literally, when it comes to acting, the truth is the truth. true, no matter if whatever character you're playing, no matter what you're doing, ultimately you're trying to figure out the truth in a moment. I think that's what's so exciting about being an actor, um, is that you're trying to uncover the truth in the current circumstances, so for me it's more of the same, to be honest, you don't know that gender is not the difference between drama and comedy, the genre, the genre for me.

The difference is between multi-camera and single-camera, which makes a show in front of a live audience feel like you're performing a concert while you do a take of a scene and then you stop and then you're doing the take again and then you stop and then you turn around and you stop and you wait in your trailer for 20 minutes and you get back out and you go back into screaming mode and then you said it takes a a different kind of muscle, a different kind of focus to be able to on and off because we had such an intense two and a half hour filming period that that's where you were, but when you're filming these intense scenes you have all these breaks because, for those of you who don't know, there's a camera, so yeah Miami in a scene has to film this way then has to film this way and then has to film this way and then film another way so it takes time and the reason there aren't more cameras is because they are very faces and the amount of people needed to be able to film on a set means there's literally not enough space, so if you want to, you know, photograph something with a persinium, you need to have a camera to make it look like it's really happening and then get all those other angles, so yeah, very, very different from yes, exactly, but I love it, the thing is, people don't realize that.

Being an actor is not just acting, it is also being on set, it is also interacting with all the people you are working with. To me, that's fun. I love being on set. I love hanging out with fellow actors. I love hanging out with them. the team the guys on the team the girls on the team there is a real sense of community there is a real sense that we are in this together for a short period of time and you get to know people very, very quickly and then you never speak to them again them, it's the strangest experience, I love it, I love the whole thing, you know, I really love what I do, I'm very lucky, you know, what you're describing is the experience of being a contract actor, um, what you know is That's the other thing.

It actually relates a little bit to what I want to address in terms of mental health and why we do what we do and what we get out of doing what we do and the fact is, it's not the same thing, you know? State of mind when I'm a struggling actor or when I don't have a job or I'm not sure I can do it. You know, paying bills is very different from being employed. You know, even as a guest actor here and there, I came back. into acting and I ended up on the big bang theory because I was running out of health insurance, after I got my PhD there was that element of this is something I do and it can make money, but I like to finish and then have a life that you

knowing

, um, being on set and having all those experiences, it's tremendously affirming and it's life affirming, you know, as an actor, getting that kind of job anyway, remember you were born in London, right, your family It's from India, also correct and you spent time there, can you tell us a little about it?

You only know about what you were born in and what your parents did or yes, you know England. I was only there until I was three, so for me I don't have much. I remember that um my father my father was an accountant my mother was an interior designer she stopped working to take care of the two children while my father worked and when I was about they were working in England when I was born and we moved to a A beautiful place called Hounslow, which at the time they bought a flat was supposed to be an arts community and turned out not to be a very, very nice place.

It's changed a lot since the '80s, but in the '80s it really wasn't great, um, but they decided to move back to India to take care of their parents, that was a decision my father made and it cost him a lot, he lost a lot of his wealth and everything he had accumulated working in England, but there was an inherent joy. in their karmic duty to take care of their parents, I think, and also growing up in India, being so close to all my cousins, my uncles and aunts, and that sense of Indian community which is that every night the doorbell rang at 8p.m. and you don't know who will come but and everyone says, okay, what are we going to eat tonight?, you know, everyone is going to go to everyone's fridge, whoever is sick comes, you take care of them, they take care of you, there is a feeling real of this.

So when I moved to America, one of the hardest things I had to get used to is that if you have a cold, everyone was like that, whereas in India, if you have a cold, everyone says: come here, come here. here, sit, sit, let me put a cold compress on your head, you want chai biscuits, what do you want, you say, don't do anything, so when you are sick, everyone comes and takes care of themselves. from you and here, if you get sick it's like you stay away, you know, which has been a very interesting transition, it still takes me a while to get used to it, but that's why they moved to India and that's why I ended up growing up. there because they just decided they wanted to come home and take care of their parents as they grew up, you came to college in the US from India, yes, 1999, Portland, Oregon, yes, it's a Portland university.

I didn't get a great score on the satellite test. my brother went to a university called reed, which is a very famous university for intellectuals, since he is a brilliant guy and I went to a university of lesser intellectuals because I didn't have the grades to get in, I got a good scholarship and I said, let's go see the world, you know, and then you ended up in Portland, then I ended up, by the way, Portland was a cool, open-minded city. People were interested in where I was from, they weren't so afraid to see someone of a different skin color, it's cool, it's a very educated city and very liberal, so I felt like I integrated quite well and then you stayed for the graduate school, right, I got my graduate degree in acting in Philadelphia at Temple University, I got it, which is in North Philadelphia, yeah. and then how long after that was it a big hit for you?

One year, wow, one year, so wait, I just have to do this. You came to the United States, you went to college and then you went to I trained to be an actor for seven years of undergrad and then. Three years into my master's degree I did a play at the Royal Shakespeare Company in England and then I had about 10 months left on my work visa, so I came to Los Angeles. I played a terrorist on NCIs, which I guess you have to do. Mark Carmen punched me in the face, it was so cool and then I did a McDonald's commercial and Mark Carmen punched you in the face in that too, no I was and then a Citibank commercial was a big hit, your first pilot , yes, first pilot, oh my God, I mean, it's an incredible trajectory, you also know that my grandparents were immigrants to this country and they saw in me a look like the American dream, we came from nothing, we were street cigarette sellers and tailors, and you meet our granddaughters on TV, that's literally how they could understand it.

Like they're not educated people, you know, my grandfather left school at 15, my grandmother probably at nine, like I don't even know if there was a really structured girls' school, um, so what was that? um, you know, coming from such a different culture and and having that and you know, coming into a world that was actually instantly a timeline of life and then eventually this tremendous success, um, how did that feel? Did it feel specifically different from, you know, your other castmates? I'm not talking about the other co-stars, but for me when I decided to become an actor I took it very seriously as if it weren't when I remember telling my parents that this is what I want to do.

I remember the day. I remember it as it was. yesterday I remember exactly when it happened I was on stage I had a moment where for the first time in my life I completely discovered what it means to be

present

and it happened on stage and I finished the play and I went home and I told my parents this is what What I want to do for the rest of my life and I'm going to do it and they supported me a lot and told me: do what makes you happy. I was very lucky and that was the beginning of the end of that day.

From now on, I dedicated myself to this craft as if I were training for the Olympics, you know, I don't mean that physically, but I mean that people don't know your Olympic body, it's about time they know. I really committed to it to try it. be the first person on set you know to try it and make sure I'm very committed that I'm always on time that I'm well prepared that I take it to this day I take it very, very seriously I don't take it for a second . I don't take it for granted because I know and you know how quickly it can be removed.

I can, I mean, and also like that, no, this isn't like some bullshit interview where like celebrities tell each other how amazing they are, but I can absolutely attest to that, every time someone tells me. ask about

yourself

or tell us about the cast members, you know there's an anecdote about everyone, but that's what I would always say. about you is that you had a tremendous sense of presence and optimism, um, and you know that and we went through challenges, we sure went through challenges, you know, person, there are things that people don't say, I always tell people like If you didn't know Everything that happened in all our lives, you know, a lot of things happened in those years and, really, you know, really always, you know?

Did you know she was kind of a cheerleader, but not in an unpleasant way? Although Simon sometimes gave you a hard time. How positive was he? This episode was brought to you by better help. Online advice. Are you having trouble achieving your goals? Maybe you have difficulties with relationships. Sleeping problems. Maybe he feels stressed. Maybe you feel depressed. There is better help available. Online professional counselors who can listen and help. There is nothing like talking to someone who understands you, who you feel safe with and who is safe. I can speak personally as I have been in therapy over the years on many different occasions and it is a game. changing if you haven't tried it or are looking for that new therapist, it's time to get better help, fill out a questionnaire to assess your needs and they will connect you with your own licensed professional.

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What do our listeners get? Our listeners get 10 off for their first three months. Visit ritual.com. Slash breakdown to start your ritual today. We can perform the ritual together. I mean, obviously, we talked. You know a lot about mindfulness and being present and what it means for meditation and what it means for relationships and what it means for conversations, but can you describe? Do you know what that feels like, how it felt in your body or what you feel in your heart or how you felt having an awakening that's how present I want to be is a good question it's a difficult question to answer because hypothetically any answer I give and someone likes the answer so we will try to recreate that with your mind and it's completely out of the present.

You know, that's why spirituality or spiritual teachings or mindfulness are very good because they get you to a certain point, but eventually, if you start living someone else's or someone's spiritual life. someone else's idea of ​​the present, then you're completely out of the present, you know, I think it's important to realize that you're in the present, that's just a fact, like right now we're in the present, we may be thinking about something or imagining something that is Okay, we've given a lot of power to our minds, but you can't not be physically in the present. I think it's very important for people to notice how you stay so present.

I won't stay present. I am present if there are any. The question you need to ask yourself is what am I doing now that takes me away from the present moment because you are always in the present moment? What it felt like to me was a complete sense of no distraction from the thinking mind and completely here. as I know, that's what I felt or what I feel to me, it's not always possible because my mind sometimes you know we are artists, we have a very vivid imagination, but it's not about being in the present moment, it's just about to accept that you can't not be in the present moment.

No, I really love that description too and you know people often ask if young people should be actors, for example, do you encourage my five year old son to get into the business? And I remember you know I started acting when I was 11, but you know Kaylee had been acting since she was four and you know Johnny also likes that there's a sense of learning that you have to be in the present, you don't have to. that having a sick day, not having a bad day, you can have things that are happening, but when they scream action, I mean, I had never thought of it like that until you said it like that, it really is a moment where everything What you have is the present, I have the words that come out of my mouth, you know I have integrated them into my brain in a way that I can spit them out and I have my feet that need to walk here or this accessory that I need to handle, but that is one of The difficult things that you know when people ask me about children, like you have to teach a child to compartmentalize, you know, because they have to be in the present, they can't be thinking about what happened in class that morning, no. they may be thinking. about that their tummy hurts you know we've all worked with the flu I was thinking you know we have pictures of us in masks remember how funny we were haha ​​we have to wear masks we're sick look at us now but have we all worked on that show pretty sick at various stages of the illness?

You know we don't understand that we can't be in that kind of present. You know that we are in the present in that sense of our craft. I feel more now because of the pandemic that people are turning to people are turning inward people are turning to mindfulness or something like that to understand what the meaning of all of this is that is deeper than what we think. it can be seen and touched properly so people are talking a lot about meditation it is exactly what you said when you do a real action the kind of concentration it takes is a very concentrated focus and without distractions what kind of meditation is it if you talk with F1 high formula racing drivers when they are racing it's a similar feeling of being completely in the present because of a distracting thought in a corner at 250 miles an hour or whatever, that's it, you know, it's similar, you find yourself when you mess up a take, that's when you're most distracted, there's a real element of meditation in acting a real element of discovering what it means to be fully present that's why I think a lot of actors turn to mindfulness something can be all that stuff that you said about being present and I don't have the reproduction exactly but you said something to the effect that it allowed you to feel like yourself and I think a lot of people are connected to their thoughts and they are the link of their thoughts as their experience of themselves, so I don't think there's really a question here. as much as a comment to both of them that it's like that moment of discovering the stillness of the mind and the access that that can give someone to feel different, you know, it sounds like you've both experienced it at work, well, I meando wonders.

I'm not against anxiety medications. Everyone's journey is her journey. And I'm not against that at all. It just happened in my situation. There was just something that stopped me. No, yes, yes, I appreciate it. you say that and um and I also think it's important to note that when people make the decision not to take medication, they often do very little to try to get to the root of the problem or they often don't have the resources to get to the root of the problem. problem. what's going on so I absolutely agree that medication is not for everyone but if you choose not to take medication there is a lot of work you have to do it won't magically go away but what I was saying is that in the end The moments of my life in which I have been most weakened, you know, it was my partner, it was my then boyfriend who I ended up marrying and you know, you know Mike, you have seen him and obviously we have divorced. but a lot of the burden really fell on him because he had to balance this person, you know who he was, I mean, in a lot of ways, he wasn't really functional, you know, I could go to class and I did, but that was my life, so I'm curious to know what kind of changes you've seen in your relationship.

There is a real sense in me of taking care of my family. I have to take care of my family. I work to be able to take care of my family. This feeling and I felt ashamed for a long time because I felt like if I can't get into an elevator, how will I be able to take care of my children? If I can't drive on the highway, how will I get them on the highway? trip, how can I be a husband to protect my wife if I have panic and anxiety? I hate that so much and it was functional on the outside, but it manifested itself in other ways drinking anger, frustration, but all of that was really just because I had gotten so far away from my true nature.

The only reason I know when I feel anxiety or panic or something is because I'm disconnected from reality and I'm living an imagined truth or something I'm dwelling on. The memory of my past is when I am disconnected from what we talked about, the present moment and reality is when I am living through the fragmented version of the mind, which is why we talked about letting go of some of these things so that you can In fact, I see clearly what is happening because when you see clearly what is happening, panic and anxiety do not come.

On my spiritual journey I began to eliminate some of the noise and storm, my relationship with myself improved greatly and as my relationship improved. a bet improved with myself, my relationship in my marriage improved and on the other hand it was also true for my partner when she started doing her own work, that's where when two people do a lot of work on themselves it's really beautiful to see. come together, you know, because you can't, actually, you can just be there for someone as much as you can, but you can't do the work for them, you just can't.

I've tried and failed and yet it's your own version of what they should be doing your own version of what they should be your own version of this is what will fix them letting go is also letting go of those expectations and realizing that the only thing What you can really do for society is here come home here come closer to yourself here be at peace with yourself then that manifests in the light and everyone around you feels it this episode brings it to you helix sleep love helix I used to be one of those people that was like I don't care I just put a futon on the floor okay and then I tried a coil mattress I mean it was a game changer a game changer what you do is you take this quiz It only takes two minutes and matches your body type and sleep preferences to the perfect mattress for you because why would you buy a mattress made for someone else?

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I liked how you talk. I like the way you talk about things you've done, a little bit of this in the realm of social media, that you know, of taking in the thoughts and struggles and questions of people you know, and I don't mean This, I mean, this sounds stupid. but like I could totally see you, you know, being a speaker, a religious guy, a spiritual leader, like if you want to start a cult, I'll be your first member, um no, but in all seriousness, have you thought about taking? this in a broader sense, like you don't identify as Hindu, but you still consider yourself more of a Buddhist, you know a lot, I mean, I'm hearing a lot about Zen Buddhist philosophy and things like that, and um, you.

You're obviously very well read and knowledgeable about philosophy and you know spiritual philosophy and other things that relate to that. Do you have thoughts about trying to share this more widely? Are you just a little happy? Right now, during the pandemic, I started doing Instagram live every day just to lift people's spirits and what came out of that was I started a spiritual page called buddhas in jeans, buddhas in jeans with the philosophy that no you need to go to a cave for 30 years to find out who you really are that we all have buddha nature in us the shiva in us the christ in us the yahweh in us the allah in us is we all have we are made we are all the same source in different stories, so I started that and the reason I'm not advertising it or anything like that is because it's not a very popular philosophy to help people be free, the reason why programs like this are seven steps to enlightenment. or whatever, here are 10 steps to being happy and here are 45 steps to being the best version of yourself.

The mind loves those programs because it keeps it alive, it keeps it engaged, and it keeps it running from the true source of who. There is nothing wrong with those programs, they are wonderful, they work wonders. What we are doing with Buddhas and jeans is removing all projections of how you should be and coming home to who you really are and living your life from that source. It's not for everyone, it's not for everyone, you know, so we started, I mean, I started that page and that's where I talk a lot about this stuff and share a lot about my journey.

I don't keep saying the best day for me is the day you stop following this page because you have returned to yourself I want none of this more than to help you maybe through my struggles I will take you to the bridge and then go ahead and cross it like this How's that if I had to tell you like and and I and I know and I know this is not something you can summarize but seek enlightenment in three words no, but I'm curious like uh. I mean, I don't want to stop following that page, so you know, I'll allow myself that luxury.

You know, mine is always like when people tell me how I do whatever, I go to therapy or I go to a 12-step program if you have a problem. with food, sex, alcohol, substances or are you obsessed, like going on a show, going to therapy, are you there like you know? Here are the things that guide you because you know it's an ethereal concept. I like knowing yourself and I'm all for it and I have my own journey that I can participate in. I guess how it is. What it is for you? I think the number one thing would be to take responsibility for how you are. perceive things to understand that if you are able to look inside and see, wow, I am conditioned in such a way that my response to abcdef is such that it is enough to have a little space for you to start looking at your story and say oh, this.

That's where I'm stuck, oh that's where I'm stuck, you start to become an observer of all the things that you've learned and that you've taken on as you, for example, when you're born, your father has an energetic DNA. in his sperm combines with your mother's energetic DNA and you come into this world with some kind of, let's say, karma, karmic energy, you know, but other than that, when you're a baby, your mind is blank and everything that you have acquired. you have been given a name you have been taught a religion you have been born into a home you have been born into a culture these are all things that you have acquired since you were a child and those are beautiful things too There is nothing like saying that you shouldn't get rid of any of it , but I think it's important for every human being in their life at some point to look inward and ask themselves if all I am is just my conditioning or if there is something. or someone underneath all that that's been here from the beginning and some people can use therapy to get there, some people I mean there are different ways, that's the thing and that's what you can use a 10 step program or 20 or you can You can go to the Himalayas for 30 years, but ultimately what it really comes down to is finding yourself is truly looking inside yourself and asking who is here and why do I keep running from this?

Do you know what is causing me? run away from this, I appreciate it and I'll ask you a tough follow-up question and then we'll see if Jonathan has anything to go on before I let you go, but there are a lot of people who say that. This is not your particular thinking, but this kind of conversation is elitist or it's for people who have a lot of time, a lot of money, a lot of resources, and you know, one of the reasons Jonathan and I started this podcast is because you know , I think it's a human right for people to have access to mental health information, the fact that so many people need psychiatric care and those are the people who can't afford it in many cases, um, it's a travesty, it's, it's, It's, it's a It's a tragedy in the world and in this country in particular, what do you offer to people who might feel that this is this kind of freedom, this kind of knowledge, this kind of presence, this kind of knowledge of oneself?

I don't have time I don't have money you know I live with too many people what's your answer all my struggles started when I had money when I had fame when I was when I was married married to a former miss India you were married I mean she was exceptionally smart and talented , but you also had that perfect image. Yes, what I have realized in this life is that I have seen incredibly rich people who are unhappy and I have seen incredibly poor people who are happy and I have seen the other way around. I stopped judging anyone's struggle because I know how horrible mental struggle can be regardless of the circumstances.

The reason I share my story. The reason I started Buddhas and Jeans is to help people understand that it doesn't matter what. You've done it because you really had created this real separation of me and who I really am instead of the opposite and now I'm using my resources to help people understand that and then the second thing I'll say is that it doesn't cost anything. to look inside doesn't take time it can't be a minute before you go to bed and no one can do that for you no one can tell you lookinside look inside look inside and you can say I don't have time I don't have time I don't have time well but in the end it takes a second and that's the reason why people don't do it the reason why people keep asking for this asking for that asking help someone help help help because it is very, very, very scary to look at them it is very scary because all our lives we have been taught to look for people who give us happiness to work to take money to work to build a house we are always taught to outside in and we have never, not even for a second, looked inward and that takes an enormous amount of courage, it has nothing to do with money or resources, it just takes real commitment and charging people who can do it and not I think the people who don't do it are less, you know, it just depends on this journey of your life, what do you want it to be for you?

I want it to be a cult and you are the leader, Jonathan, do you have something you want? I want to ask Eskenal before we let him go. The idea of ​​looking inside. Some people don't even understand what that means. I know because they're like what am I looking at and if I can summarize some of the ideas that have been shared so far in this conversation, the idea is that we are examining our truth of our perception and I had this experience. with mime the other day when I received an email yesterday I received an email I got upset my first reaction was this and then about 20 minutes later I think that actually that is not what existed in that email, it is my perception illness that made me I had a reaction that led me to this thought and therefore looking inside many people just means waiting a second.

My immediate reaction could be wrong or biased in some way. What I was going to boil this down to is what you had said. at the beginning, which is that acting for you does not matter if it is comedy or drama, it is a truth in a moment and therefore, if we bring this back to the meditation consciousness, the consciousness is what is our truth in any time, so I'm trying. I like to put the acting experience together with the life experience and you know you've both had a tremendous time where you have to be present, you have to find the truth in a scene and then maybe you know that there is a version of consciousness that It's really Trying to find our own unique truth and that can be as easy as saying that my perception might not be accurate and as channel as you mentioned, creating that initial separation between two thoughts where you said at that moment that the separation between those two thoughts will help you. allowed feel yourself yes, that's me you're not this or that you're just you're just in the middle that where it's not my reaction it's not the thing it's not what I have to do next it's that separation that if I can bring it all in house that's why we do breath work when we meditate or when we are conscious because that's exactly it, it's the bottom of the breath when you let everything out and there's no more, there's that moment when you're not inhaling or exhaling, that's that moment when you know the silence before your brain starts to inhale, you know, and it's also at the top of the breath, it's like when you wake up before you put on your clothes, it's like that before you put on your channel clothes , you can wake up and just stand there and say what it feels like to not be in this costume for a few seconds.

You know, I'll say one last thing before you go. I think it's important to realize that none of this has a purpose. If you get into any part of this work because you simply want to be enlightened or awakened or you want to live some projected version of it, you can have a beautiful spiritual life and still at some point feel anxious and at some point feel sad, depressed and panicked. Life is never always going to be 100 the way you want it to be, that's what we talk about when we say surrender, that there has to be a surrender to just living your life and there's no shame in that, there's no shame in feeling anxious, there's no shame. when feeling stress there is no shame in feeling panic these things can arise at some point but they don't last forever you know, and these tools help you in those difficult moments, but it is not a purpose once I see the light that I will never experience Life again, don't use spirituality to run away from the truth, which also happens all the time, people get very spiritual you know, and then they start ignoring this life that we live, that's why I say sometimes when you fight, you are the most present of all. because you're in life, you're not far from it, seeing through your third eye or something, it's not like that, it's about being completely yourself, here you know, and these are the tools that, hopefully, will help you.

They will help and you will be fine first. everything, okay, everyone's okay, I think you have a second cult member. I think Jonathan and I will vote. I just filled out the application form, yeah, yeah, that would be a thousand, maybe a thousand dollars. Thank you very much for sharing and for giving. us your time and also for sharing, you know, I have seen you grow, you know, in the years that I worked by your side and, you know, I loved all your versions, but I also really admire the light that you have. I know you, you spread, you know as you went on this journey, so it's really lovely to talk to you and thank you, thank you for everything that you're doing, obviously, your new show, which is very funny, we watched it last night and, but also.

Just this is what you are doing to realize that it is not a stigma to talk about mental health, you know that, so this time it needs you and I am very proud to call your friend, thank you Namaste and you too, Jonathan. Thanks too, bye guys, bye, well that was my friend, the Big Bang Theory Channel of fame, he was really in pain, how did he become so wise? It's for me, it's about how he packages that wisdom so succinctly, he's very eloquent, meaning he's extremely eloquent and he's very Concise, I said I can usually talk about these things, but you're going to need to give me four hours.

I don't have four hours, Jonathan, so I have ten seconds and he will fix my life in 10 seconds. It's amazing, it was very What an interview, this is something where there is science, there is energy in that person by the way they talk and I'm sure people have done studies on this, this is not my field of expertise, it's The tone of your voice is the rhythm. the pauses you can't it was very difficult for me not to interrupt him I saw that he was in so many pauses it's the way he speaks that puts me I can't speak for anyone else it puts me in a place of being in the present as if he was hanging on every word here's a question for you in a meditative and mindful face to face between him and sam harris right who will make you feel calmer channel oh those are fighting words no First of all, I love Sam Harris and so do I, but I'm just saying that the Vegas odds have already started making over and under bets, I mean that's a mental fight, no it's not even like a mental fight, those are two people. who would be fascinating to put together the second season of mayan be alex breakdown we match your favorite guests by category

kunal

is a very warm spiritual religious, I mean, to me, he feels like my favorite rabbis, it's like he's a wise man, you know .

He has a wisdom and a way in which he presents it that reminds me of when I was interested in my favorite rabbis, who are also philosophers. There's something about that intellectual spiritual enlightenment that really stands out to me that other people might want. something totally different like that is my vibe of understanding and also hearing what was going on behind the scenes, you know, and I knew a lot of what he was going through and we talked a lot about it, you know, he had questions about Judaism like he. I knew I fasted sometimes, you know, as a Jewish person and I also identify with, you know, I grew up with Eastern European grandparents, so I really resonate with people who come from culturally rich homes, you know, because there's a lot about our food. . and you know all these things that I loved about what he said, particularly this notion of how he struggled when he had that success, yeah, and I found that fascinating because a lot of people are again externalizing if only he had this, if he had that, uh, so .

I just lost too like a universal, you know, it's such a universally appealing story, you know, it started with I don't feel comfortable driving like so many people have, I love this idea of ​​whack-a-mole where it's how you're going to get anywhere driving. it's not what bothers me no now it's the elevators now it's this now it's okay yeah that's just your anxiety will find a place to go and this is something that people ask me a lot about why I'm like this why I'm I get obsessed with that because that's where it goes, the question is not why you ask, what do you do next?

This is something that's been a big learning for me over the last few years, it's really that's not what I'm anxious about and you tell me this are you like Jonathan is that really what's going on or is that that's the place where he always says yes that's why I know exactly go away, feed me the words you use is That's where your anxiety is binding and this idea that we're going to do it and it feels so real, like it's like that, well, it's not that It may not be real, but it feels like that's the thing, if he just did what I wanted, I would do it.

I don't feel like that or that person like that if the situation is correct but it's like our anxiety that's why the thoughts that lead from one to another are generally scientifically speaking it's almost always a feeling it's a feeling that makes you drink that drink it's a feeling What makes you get high is a feeling that sends you to the refrigerator and it's a feeling that sends you checking on other people instead of looking at yourself. It's a literal physiological feeling that none of us are taught to identify and it wasn't until that I did specific trauma work where he had me identify how it felt in my body when I felt and it was how it makes me feel like I want to leave your office, that's what it makes me feel and he had me identify what color it is if had a shape what shape would I change it and I was like ah but that's what it was I was learning to know what it feels like because your body is what tells you what's going on ask mayam anything nat fabro asks: pain originates In the mind, people with the same diagnosis experience different levels of pain and some people experience different pain for the same problem depending on the time of day etc., busy mind or happiness equals pain, so Nat is interested in the topic of the mind over pain is a great question, it is literally that you know the topic of a thesis, but you can summarize it in two minutes, no problem, look at me brother, I just assume that your brain is like a little AI that it simply summarizes large amounts of data.

Here is the What you are not really a robot is that pain is not a singular experience, pain receives information from many different parts of your brain and the pain in your body does not necessarily originate in the mind per se, the perception of the Pain is something we form. Based on many other things, a lot of which are physiological, are anatomical, so we have nerve fibers that run throughout our body, that's the nervous system and there are special fibers that are uniquely attuned to pain, to the who are sensitive. pain, there are others that are sensitive only to temperature, but there are pain fibers that send information to the brain.

However, if you take, for example, a system that is already agitated, it will generally hurt more. If you take a system that is stressed, it will hurt. more meaning the perception and reporting of pain is more I gave birth to two human beings without drugs one was a three day labor and the other was a less than three hour labor I'm not a superhero in that I don't feel pain that's it When You undergo the type of hypnosis and meditation training that is often done by people who believe in natural childbirth, you are learning to change your perception of pain, part of that has to do with the language we use and part of it has to do with the interpretation of the sensation.

Learning to manage pain is part of what happens when you have chronic pain. I am a person who has chronic pain. How we handle it has a lot to do with the other things going on in our lives and in our brains. and in our bodies, I know it's not a complete answer, but I think the important thing is that the mind controls our perception of pain to some extent. Pain is real and anyone's pain is real to them, even if someone else wouldn't. Experience it the same way, so I'm sure you've seen an example: if you slam your hand on the door, some people will have a reaction that looks like they need to go to the hospital and others will cry for 10 seconds.

They'll head straight to the cooler and put their hand on some ice and move on. Those are coping mechanisms and those are things we can also learn to better adapt to pain. Thanks Nat for your question, thanks Nat. if you have any questions please visit bialikbreakdown.com bia lik breakdown.com you can ask me anything related to mental health. There's a little form you can fill out and you can submit your questions and we'll answer them on air. optionto submit video or audio which is fun that we can include if you want and we have received a lot of questions so thank you to everyone who has submitted a question so far.

I will also encourage people to tell us where they are. you're from and we'll make a little call to uh your hometown your hometown okay uh what a special episode thank you jonathan for being present with me so thank you miam for always being present from my crisis to the one that I hope you never have I will see you the next time it's my environmental breakdown she's going to break it down for you she has a PhD in neuroscience or two in nonfiction and now it's going to collapse it's a breakdown she's going to break it down