Key Insights after Marking Over 10,000 Essays

getting a band 8 or 9 and writing IELTS is much simpler than you might think throughout my career. I have marked over 10,000 IELTS

essays

. I have seen every mistake an IELTS student can make, from structuring their arguments to doing stupid things. vocabulary mistakes and one thing I can tell you is that all of these can be easily fixed. Every student I've worked with who has a band eight or nine has followed a simple strategy, understanding what the common mistakes are, and learning how to fix them. common mistakes, so today what I'm going to do is take a real band 6 student essay that is full of the most common mistakes that we see and I'm going to show you sentence by sentence how to transform that. essay is from band six to band 8, so you will be able to see how simple it is to transform your writing and get the score you need, so if your goal is to get a seven, eight or nine link in IELTS writing and reposition yourself. to the country of your dreams, you are in the right place, so sit back, relax and let's learn how to improve our IELTS writing, so let's start by looking at this student's essay and find out why it is a band six and then I show you how to transform it to a band eight.

Now I don't move forward. If you skip ahead, you won't understand why most students get these things wrong, and in my experience, after knowing that they correct thousands of

essays

, students who learn what. to avoid doing much better than students who simply learn a lot of good things to do in their essay. I know that doesn't make sense but a lot of things don't make sense about IELTS, don't skip it, watch this part of the video and understand the bad things to avoid everything we are going to discuss will be related to these These are the official descriptors of bands when your examiner is grading your essay they are looking at these bands and this is what they base your score on and this alone so it is very important that you understand why these things lead to a low score.

I'll also share the new guide that was released recently, it's a little more detailed and it was published on IELTS so it's something you should definitely pay for. attention, so let's start by understanding the question: very very important some people believe that professionals like doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they received their training others believe they should be free to work in other countries discuss both points of view and give feedback so that the student starts with noise every day written incorrectly. The crucial debate about professionals working in other countries is raging, so when in the first sentence the student made a crucial mistake, he made a mistake which is to include a background statement now, many of you have been taught because many teachers teach their students to start their essay with a background statement why it is wrong and why this will reduce your score well a background statement is an example of a memorized sentence or a memorized template will typically look like this today.

The crucial debate about the word. Today, like now, if I had a penny for every time I read the word noise, I wouldn't be teaching you IELTS. I'd be on the beach somewhere having fun. The other reason this is a bug is more. It's strategic, so you only have about 40 minutes to write the entire essay. You should not include anything that will not improve your score. Background statements don't improve your score at all, so including them is a waste of time, so anything that wastes time and leads to vocabulary errors. grammatical errors and it doesn't improve your score at all is a complete and utter waste of time.

You have also created a very bad first impression because, as I said, the examiner has seen this a thousand times in their brain when they read that they are automatically thinking that this person only depends on memorization and templates probably went to a very bad school had a bad teacher this essay is going to be bad do you want the first impression to be probably not? It just doesn't make any sense to read it now it's a day The crucial debate about professionals working in other countries is furious it is actually furious is this a debate that many people are having there are no much more important debates and problems in the world than professionals who decide whether to stay or leave your country, then you just wrote something that is complete and utter nonsense.

I would also like to draw your attention to the official

marking

criteria and what it says for a band zero where there is evidence that a candidate's answer has been completely memorized. His first sentence provides the examiner with proof that he does not know how to write. If I knew how to write an essay, I wouldn't use memorized sentences like this, so what some examiners will do is do that. Throw out that whole sentence because it doesn't make sense, it doesn't mean anything, it doesn't add anything to the essay, let's look at the following sentence, while many people believe they should stay in their home country, others say they should be free to work.

Anywhere in the world, this essay will endeavor to analyze both sides before coming to the conclusion of One Reason and let's look at the official grading criteria to show you why this whole introduction is just a complete waste of time if we look at band 9 for the answer to the task. clear and fully developed position Band-Aid a clear and well developed position by the 7 a clear and developed position is presented and if we look at the guide for the

marking

criteria it says that the answer to the task assesses how clearly the candidate opens the speech state your position and formulate conclusions so what is your position is what you think about the question what do you think the answer to the question is so what is the question asking you to do what is asking you to do three things discuss this point of view discuss that point of view and give your opinion three different things this introduction does none of those three things while many people believe they should stay in their home country that just repeats the question it doesn't say why it doesn't give any position others say they should have the freedom to go back to work anywhere in the modern world without a position they are just repeating the question this essay will endeavor to analyze both sides before coming to the conclusion of One Reason this is a memorized sentence again so it is not very good but it is not there is no position or opinion give your opinion there is nothing here now why the students are doing so well maybe it is not your fault I have taught in many countries around the world, especially in Asia and in many countries I will not name individual countries, Don't worry, I won't choose over anyone, but in your education system you are often taught from a very young child not to take a strong position or have a strong opinion about anything.

This is completely opposite to the Western education system and how IELTS wants you to write essays. I want you to have a strong position and tell them what you think, so if you want to move to a Western country and score high on the IELTS test, you need to abandon this idea of ​​not taking any position and just being very indecisive. above all, also the other reason is that many of you go to IELTS schools and IELTS teachers who simply teach you this template based memorization technique. Examiners are not stupid. Most experienced examiners have scored more than ten thousand essays in at least 70.80 percent of them.

It looks like this, that's why it's extremely rare to get a band-aid and get band 9, but it's extremely common to get banned five five point five six and six point five, these are the most common scores, but don't worry, it will. show you how to transform this introduction in a very, very simple way and show you how to tell the examiner exactly what you think about this question in a very simple and effective way. There are also multiple small spelling errors? Small spelling errors that are also a problem. It's bringing your score down to about a six.

I hope you are enjoying this video on IELTS writing if you want to improve your IELTS writing even more and put into practice all the things you are learning on our YouTube channel that I have developed. a free course called IELTS essay Builder one of the IELTS essay Builder is that it gives you a free course that structures everything from the introduction to the main body paragraphs to the conclusions. It shows you step by step, sentence by sentence, how to write everything you're learning here and it's one hundred percent free and has helped thousands of students get around seven, eight, and even nine to sign up for free.

All you have to do is simply click the link in the description, enter your email address. page and we will send you that free IELTS essay generator. Thank you so much. Now let's go back to the video, let's move on to the first paragraph of the main body, let's review this and see if it's good or not, on the one hand, it's okay. a totally acceptable way to demonstrate that I'm going to argue this first point, doctors have a duty of care to their own people. This is because doctors pay for doctor training, therefore medical professionals have a responsibility to give back to the nation.

Likewise, engineers have many crucial aspects. skills that are valuable to your home country, for example my brother is an engineer who built a high speed rail network in my home country, which is now the envy of the world, so overall this is pretty good, but there are a couple of major problems here and if you read this paragraph if I gave you this paragraph before this video 80 90 of the students would say you know that's a pretty good paragraph they should get a high score but there are a couple of fundamental problems with him, so if we take a look at band 6 for the task answer it says that the main ideas are relevant these ideas are relevant there is nothing wrong with them, but some may not be developed enough or may lack clarity, while some arguments and supporting evidence may be less relevant or inadequate when compared to a band eight ideas are relevant, well-extended and supported, so it is about the development of ideas;

In other words, they took each idea and explained it fully and provided an example that helped support that idea even further, so the problem with this particular paragraph is that there are two main ideas. instead of a central main idea, so instead of fully developing one idea, they put two ideas in and they didn't manage to fully develop them because they just don't have the time, they don't have enough space to do it well. when I asked the student why did you do this they told me well, in the question it says let's talk about doctors and engineers, so I talked about doctors first and I talked about engineers, my old teacher, that's what they told me, he told me that I should talk about everything. in the question to get a high score, let's take a look at the question and analyze whether that is true or not.

Some people believe that professionals like doctors and engineers, why say like doctors and engineers? Well, professionals is not a very clear and concise word, it has many different meanings, so by including doctors and engineers in the question, what the people from Cambridge who wrote this question are trying to do is help you understand the word professionals who are not instructing you and who you should talk about. doctors and then they have to talk about engineers, so by following incorrect advice the student is lowering their score and doing the wrong thing. Remember that the examiners only follow what it says here in the marketing criteria, they don't contact your local teacher and ask them.

Well, what did you tell them? This second sentence simply doesn't make any sense in relation to the explanation they are giving. This is because doctors pay for a doctor's training, therefore medical professionals have a responsibility to give back to Nation when I spoke. I asked the student about this and asked him it doesn't make any sense it's confusing oh no I meant to write to the government this is because the government pays for the training of a doctor therefore medical professionals have the responsibility to give back to the nation and the reason why They made this mistake because they were trying to think about too many things on exam day because they were relying on memorization.

If you've memorized a bunch of vocabulary and grammar templates, you've memorized sentences, you're not really focused on the one thing you should be focusing on. focused on answering the question and writing a clear essay students who are only focused on writing a clear essay write a clear essay and answer the question students who are thinking about 17 different things at the same time write confusing things like this if we go back to the criteria ofqualification May lack clarity, not clear in the same way Engineers have many crucial skills that are valuable to their home country. Okay, what are those skills?

How are they valuable? There is no explanation here, for example, my brother is an engineer who builds a high speed. rail network in my home country, which is now the envy of the world, who cares? Is it really the envy of the world or are you just listening to your government tell you that it is the envy of the world that cares about your brother? I'm very proud of your brother, but that doesn't mean anything for an academic essay. This is too personal. You should avoid very, very personal examples like this because they only tell the story of your brother, your cousin, your mother, or whoever you are talking to. about and I'll show you how you can convert a very personal example like this.

It's easy to think of how to turn it into a band-aid example later in the video, so it's not a bad paragraph, apart from the fact that it's not clear, the ideas aren't developed enough and the example just doesn't make any sense, okay, let's move on to the next paragraph, on the other hand, there is an error right away, so if we look at the coherence and cohesion of about six cohesive devices, as in on the one hand, on the other, they are used to some good effect, but Cohesion within or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical due to misuse, overuse, or omission, so this student knows what it means on the one hand, but because he has memorized it.

They don't really know how to use it properly. They've made a bet, and again, if I had a nickel for every time I see that mistake, I'd be a multi-millionaire. It is better not to write anything and not make the mistake. than to include things that you are not 100 sure about, on the other hand, doctors and engineers may find it difficult to find a job and adapt to the society of a foreign country, there is always a language barrier to face when moving to a new country and many doctors require a high IELTS score to be able to do their job, for example doctors have to achieve an incredibly high score of 7.5 in most English speaking countries.

Engineers may also face culture shock when they move abroad to a new location where many engineers have recently moved. Africa will build large infrastructure projects and find that the lack of a family culture of food and work at home is very different from before, so can you spot the main problem in this paragraph? So if you haven't caught it yet, let's look at the question again so that some people believe that professionals like doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training, so in this paragraph they have covered that spot.

Others believe they should be free to work in other countries. In this paragraph they have covered that point. period, so this paragraph should be about others who believe they should be free to work in other countries, but is it about looking at ideas? The ideas are about why it is difficult to move to a new country. The obstacles someone will face. The question is about whether to have the freedom the right to work in other countries, it is not about whether it will be difficult or not, so if we take a look at the qualification criteria for band 7 for the response to the release, the main parts of the message are adequately addressed for Bond eight.

The message is addressed adequately and sufficiently, so in the second part of the message they do not address the question, their ideas are not relevant, so it is impossible for them to get up at seven or get a band-aid, and this is usually a problem that you will solve. make students very angry who can't believe they got a 6.5 or a 6 or 5.5 because they said I answered the question I wrote. A good essay, no you didn't, that's why it's so important for you to hire someone who has experience. and know what they are doing by looking at your essays and pointing out your mistakes.

The other main problem is that they have repeated the same mistake of talking about doctors and then engineers. Too many ideas. There are four main ideas in this essay. Actually, there should only be one in this paragraph and one in this paragraph, then fully develop each idea and the good news for this student is that his writing is pretty good, he doesn't have a big problem, he was just taught the wrong thing, so By fixing a few simple things that we'll show you in the rest of the video, you'll be able to easily go from about six to about seven or even eight, so let's take a look at the conclusion in a nutshell, it's not really appropriate in an academic essay to write in few words is a very informal way to begin a conclusion how many conclusions will you write on the first day of the exam how many cohesive devices that join words do you need to learn to put at the beginning of your conclusion one learn one and correctly in conclusion, it is simple, easy to use and I know a lot of you right now are in the comments saying, Can I do this?

Can I do it with that? Can I do it with this? Just learn one simple thing given to you by someone who knows. what they are doing, keep it simple, don't learn 17 different ways to write a conclusion because what will happen is you will write something inappropriate or make a mistake. Simply put, they missed the article here. There are a lot of misspelled reasons for doctors and those with engineering backgrounds to remain loyal to their motherland, such as stop sitting on the fence, stop beating around the bush, give me your position, what do you think about this?

At no point in this essay was this student written This student did not give his opinion at any point What is the question he is asking you to ask? Give your opinion again. It may not be your fault. You may come from one of those educational backgrounds that you know for the last 15 years you've been taught not to do it. do that but it's time to grow up you move to a different country you need to adopt their ways of doing things it is recommended that they stay at home to avoid difficulties such as homesickness that many face when they move abroad the question was I'm not asking you You give a recommendation, why does the student do this because his teacher told him to?

So if you're relying on memorizing a template or a structure, you're not really thinking. Am I answering the question? All you're thinking about is. What do I put in this part of the structure? Structures are useful, but the point is that you know less than five percent of your total score and you shouldn't use them if they are given to you by someone who really doesn't know what. are doing it, as you've seen, this student will probably get about a six for homework response, he'll probably get a six for coherence and cohesion, but that's only fifty percent of his total grade, the rest of his grade will be by lexicon. resources, grammatical range and accuracy, and this is a very good example of a Band Six student in terms of grammatical range, accuracy and lexical resources, which is just a fancy way of saying vocabulary, most of the students with whom we are working on get a 6 or 6.5 overall.

They don't have bad grammar or vocabulary, but they make too many small mistakes and these small mistakes add up, so the way an examiner thinks about your essay in terms of grammar and vocabulary is not: Did you use some words? like plethora and nowadays and the debate is raging, they don't look at that and go, oh my god, this person is amazing, what he's doing is he's looking at your range, but the most important thing is your accuracy, he's counting the number of errors and Very, very basically, if more than 50 percent of your sentences have vocabulary and grammar spelling errors, then you will get a bonus six and it is impossible for you to get more than a band six because all these little errors add up, so let's take Vocabulary - this student doesn't have bad vocabulary, but he is trying to use too many words that he doesn't really understand and this leads to a lot of spelling errors and spelling is counted in the lexical resources part of the grading criteria, so Now it's a day of great amount of effort responsibility and many other small vocabulary errors that are present in more than 50 of the sentences.

I'll show you a very, very quick and easy way to eliminate most of these errors and transform your essay. about six to a band 8 later in the video same thing with grammar, so most of the students that we work with, most of the essays that I've graded don't have a big problem with grammar, most of the grammar is quite good in this essay. but they have one or two areas of grammar, so it could be articles, punctuation, subject, verb agreement, tenses, for example, or other areas of grammar that they have a big problem with, so if you take a look at this student You will see that there are several items.

Mistakes in a nutshell, on the other hand, can make it hard to find a job, have a responsibility, and over and over again, so all these little mistakes just add up and then when you combine them with a lot of spelling mistakes, too many ideas don't answer. To the question. irrelevant ideas, this all adds up to a student who thinks they are getting around a seven or around an eight, opens their score on results day and sees a big six, but the good news is that you can easily fix all this and transform it . and over the years I wish I could have taken each of these essays and given the student you know 10 or 15 minutes of advice and they would have actually improved their score and moved to the country of their dreams and how they meet very happy, job well paid and all that good stuff, so the good news is for you: we will do it for you in this video.

This video is sponsored by us. IELTS advantage and VIP ielt course. The VIP IELTS course is the most successful IELTS course in the world, that is a fact because we have more seven, eight and nine success stories than any other IELTS course in the world. We do this by simplifying the entire IELTS process by supporting you with some of the best IELTS teachers in the world and being with you every step of the way until you get the score you need thanks for making it this far in the video. I want to give you 10 off our VIP course, all you have to do is just look down.

In the description you will see our special link you need to get 10 off. Just click on it and you can register. If you have any questions about the VIP course, please do not hesitate to contact us. Chris Ilse Advantage.com is my email address. We answered 100 of the questions we received, we hope you become a VIP, if not, you enjoy the rest of this free video, so let's rewrite this and transform it from about six to about eight now, before we watch the intro, we need to watch the question again, it's the most important thing, a lot of students really focus on structures and memorizing things and taking bits of essays from teachers, but actually the students who get a band-aid get about a nine and they focus a lot more on the question that you formulate the answer in your brain and then take that answer and put it on paper, that's really what you're testing.

Can you look at something, think clearly about it, and then put it clearly on paper, so let's reiterate what they're asking you to do? asking you to do three things why people think this way why people think this way and what you think now I used to go into a little more detail this is something we teach our VIP students it's not why you think this and why do you think it's why other people think this side why other people think that side and what do you think? So when looking at the question again, you need to think about why some people believe they should be required to work.

In your home country, why do some people think that if you ask someone what they would say what is the main idea behind them, others say they should be free to work, why do they say that and then the third thing you need? What do you think you should do? Do you agree with this side? Do you agree with that side? or you think of something slightly different. I'll show you how you can do all of that in your introduction, so what we're going to do is take this nonsensical introduction and show you how to transform it into an introduction that answers the question of what you should do, while many people think that Professional workers owe a debt to the country in which they trained, so what?

Have we done there? We have explained why people believe in this side, they believe in this side because they think that these doctors, engineers, nurses, lawyers, whoever was trained in that country, they owe a debt, not necessarily money, but they owe that country , they have the responsibility to remain. there and work there so what we've done in that sentence is we've immediately said this is why people think this and compare that to you know this is a hot topic that's raging and some people think that doesn't make sense for exactly whatthe people think. difference between these two, we often describe this as a shotgun approach, so this is a shotgun approach.

If you think about how a shotgun works, you use a shotgun to spray an area and hope to hit something. Compare that to a rifle. one shot, one kill, a rifle is precise, that's why they are so short and direct. Answer the question. Now let's move on to the other side. I think they should be free to work wherever they want because they can make more money. If you ask someone you know, you are a doctor, an engineer, your lawyer, you are a nurse, why are you moving to a Western country or an English-speaking country, because I can earn more money, if you ask a hundred of them, why are you moving to earn more money, like this? that we don't choose the most complex, highest level or sophisticated idea, we choose the simplest, most direct, most popular idea because they are easy to understand, easy to write about something that many of you are jumping up and down and you know that writing furiously you can't put I, you can't put a personal pronoun in your IELTS essay, remember what the question says, give your opinion, what do you think is the easiest way to do is to just say, I think, I think?

In my opinion, you are not going to lose points for that, in fact, you are going to gain points because you are making it very clear what you think and how you are answering the question and nowhere does it say it. the official grading criteria or the official guidance that you can't do that so what have I done with this sentence? I have done two things. That's why these people believe this for money and I agree with them. I believe this too. so you've done all three in one sentence this is what these people think this is what these people think and this is what I think now many of you will look at this and think it's not long enough it's too short the size no Fortunately, it matters.

There is nothing in the marketing criteria that says your introduction has to be very long like other things in this world, it's not the size that counts, it's what you do with it. You could write a very, very long introduction like the Bond Six student did, but it wouldn't really satisfy the examiner. This is short. It's small but it's powerful. In fact. What it does is show the examiner that you have understood the question, you have answered the question and you are telling the examiner what is coming in the rest of this essay because all we have to do now is take this side and write about it. in our main body paragraph fully develop that main idea, then take the other side, fully develop that main idea and then summarize everything in our conclusion, so that's what we're going to do now, so in our first main body paragraph body we are going to like Band Six Student, we are going to talk about this first view, but we are going to reduce the number of ideas from two to one, so we are not going to change anything about the cohesive device that on the one hand shows the examiner I.

I'm going to talk about this side first, so on the one hand, professionals often receive considerable funding from their government to be fully qualified, so this is a much simpler and clearer way of saying what same as the student from band 6 said that doctors have a duty to care for their own people this is because doctors pay for the training of doctors it is not very clear this is much simpler but clearer what I have fact is to put a topic sentence that clearly states this is the main reason this is the main idea there is no explanation here there is no complexity you are just saying this is the reason why people believe this now we have to explain why they think that This big difference between band six and band 8 is that band six will simply state the main ideas and not really explain why those ideas are true. you are arguing with this person imagine you are saying well why should I do that you know I don't agree with you can you explain more?

It is fair that they repay this support by working in that place, so if someone helps you it is fair, it is the right thing to pay them, but again we must explain this, why it is fair, so we must continue to explain, so again there is a difference between about six and a bonus eight band six when they When writing explanations, they could write just one sentence where like band Seven, band eight by nine, they will develop that explanation much further, they will explain it completely, they will develop it completely so that anyone can read this and understand this person's point.

This is because they often do jobs that greatly benefit society and that's why their government invested in them in the first place, so you're explaining why governments pay for doctors and engineers and lawyers and all these professionals, right? why do they pay for that? just to keep them happy to keep them busy no, it's actually quite selfish, they do it so that the investment will pay off in the future. Normally governments and politicians don't do things just to make people happy, they do it to make a profit, so you. I'm explaining that and I also made a mistake here and don't worry.

Bandaid Band 9 is not about writing the perfect essay without mistakes and without any mess. You can easily cross something out and move on. You won't lose points for that and band 9 students even make small slips, it says that in the marketing criteria so we have fully explained that what we have to do now is include an example to back that up so remember the example as if my brother built the railways. On your own, what you can do is take a personal example. In fact, I have a family member who is a doctor and the government paid for them.

I was a lawyer and the government paid all my university fees, so I got a law degree and went to law school for free. I have those examples in my brain now, but they are too personal. I'm not going to write, for example, my brother is a doctor and the UK government paid for everything, but I can. Take that personal example and I can expand it to talk about the general idea that the general population is not just my brother, there are thousands of doctors every year who are trained by the UK government, so my brother, expand it, the United Kingdom UK pays for thousands of doctors every year, so for example in the UK, let's go around, it's a little more precise, millions of pounds training young doctors through university tuition fees and on-the-job training, so which, as you can see, we've taken multiple ideas and narrowed that down. idea to a relevant idea that answers the question, fully explained that idea, and then backed it up with an example that makes sense.

Now we will move on to the second paragraph where we will show the counterargument I am going for. to show the other side because that's what the question is asking us to do sorry, this is going to look very complicated. I'm thinking about what to say to them and thinking about the cameras instead of concentrating on what I'm doing. However, every individual should have the opportunity to reach their full potential, so I am showing the counterargument: these people think that governments pay a lot of money, so they should stay and pay that debt, however, other people think that one You should have the freedom to earn as much as possible. how much money would you like, so what I'm doing here is explaining it and what I'm doing is using this.

So what technique every time I was in English class I had an English teacher and what he would do is he would walk around, look over his shoulder and point to the topic sentences, point to the ideas and say, well then, I would do it very violently. . I'm not going to do that with you, um, but what that English teacher was trying to instill in me was to explain what you So, they should have the opportunity to reach their maximum earning potential. What does that mean? Well, those in the professions, those jobs are some of the most qualified and sought after people in the world, so what goes on to explain that there is a global market for their skills and they can command much higher salaries if they move abroad, for which could go into much more detail.

One could talk about globalization and post-globalization. We now live in a world where there is a labor market. It is something very complicated but very simple. One way of saying this is that there is a global market for their skills and they can earn much higher salaries by moving abroad. If they move abroad, earn more money, more money is good, they should be able to do it, so what to keep explaining if they were blocked? Doing so would be a substantial financial disadvantage to the individual, so it would be bad if people were not allowed to leave.

Imagine that you are a doctor or nurse and you are not allowed to leave your home country. It's a very, very bad thing and you wouldn't be happy with it, so we just explained that put yourself in that person's shoes. The big difference between about six students and a band eight student is that you will often hear band six students say, "I don't know any of this, I'm not a nurse, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a lawyer, I'm not an engineer, but you have an imagination." You have a brain, you can put yourself in that person's shoes.

Imagine that you are a highly qualified doctor who earns ten thousand dollars a year and that you could be earning one hundred and ten thousand dollars a year in another country. Would you be happy if they prevented you from leaving the country? which we have fully explained below I need to think of an example personally. I don't know anyone in this position because I live in a free country where you can come and go as you want, but I can't think of any other jobs where you can earn much more. money when moving countries, an obvious one that comes to mind would be Petroleum Engineers, you know, I live in Ireland, there is no oil or gas here, there is very, very little, if you are a petroleum engineer in Ireland, you are in a great financial disadvantage, but if you can move somewhere that has a lot of oil and gas, you will earn a lot of money, so let's use that as an example and we will also use the question doctors Engineers, we have given the example of doctors here we are going to give Another example of engineers here, so for those people who think, "Oh, they didn't answer the question right, we just did it, you don't have to do it again.

We are using the question to help us, for example, petroleum engineers can make hundreds of thousands of dollars more in oil rich countries like Saudi Arabia compared to staying in Europe. Is this true? Yes, is it related to the main idea? Yes, in this part we have only talked about why people believe in this site. We need to reiterate our opinion, remember that we are doing those three things that were not done in the second main paragraph of the original essay and the easiest way to do that is I agree I agree that the individual's right to work wherever he wants trumps any nationalist considerations. individual, a person's right to work wherever they want is more important than some nationalistic belief that you know everyone should stay home, okay, let's change this conclusion, so let's change it in a nutshell to just a conclusion, so So we're not going to talk about a bunch of reasons, we're actually going to lay out the reasons, we're going to summarize our main points, so we're going to say these people think this, other people think I believe this and don't worry about repeating it in The original conclusion the person didn't really take a position and was introducing some new ideas because people are often taught that their conclusion cannot repeat any of the ideas in their essay, this comes from a misunderstanding of what a conclusion is. and what is an essay. and it is really confusing about not repeating words, many teachers believe that if you repeat a word you will get a small score, many confuse that without repeating the main ideas a conclusion is by definition a summary of the main ideas of the essay, that is what Which is, if you don't agree with me, then you don't know what a conclusion is.

In conclusion, although there is a huge amount of investment in the development of a professional, so I admit it, I say yes, there is this argument. There is a huge amount of money invested in training these people. I admit that, so you're admitting it and you're just summarizing what's in the first main body paragraph: They should have the right to choose whether to pay that by working in their home state or move to a region that pays them the highest value for his skills. Sorry, it's very complicated. It has taken me hours to do it. My brain is turning to Mush.

I really should have produced this essay and written this essay before writing the whole thing. So again, what I'm doing here is admitting that yes, this is what people think, but this is what other people think and I agree with them. I think there's no recommendation, there's no prediction, it's just about laying out the main points and laying out what I think if we look at the entire essay, I'm a native English speaker. I could have used much more sophisticated high-level vocabulary, but I choose not to because you are not being judged on how sophisticated your vocabulary is. about how specific the topic is and how precise it is, it also reduces complexity, which reduces errors, reduces errorsgrammar, that's a much better and more realistic representation for you of what 8 and 9 band essays look like after grading thousands and thousands. of essays I can really tell you that people who get a bonus eight and a bar nine, their essays seem simple and easy to understand, in fact, let me tell you a quick story when I used to teach in the classroom, what I did was get Band Essays six like this and band rehearsals eight and nine like this and the first day of class I would put them on the classroom walls and give the students stickers one said band six one said Bond eight slash nine and I would have them put the stickers on the essays. 99 of the students were always wrong because what the students think is band 8 and band 9 is a complex essay with many complex ideas complex grammar complex vocabulary what always surprises the students is how simple and easy to understand the essays of band-aid and band 9 actually are and what I always told the students was: what are you trying?

Are they testing how many sophisticated things you know or are they testing your ability to communicate clearly in writing using English? The latest thing they're testing is that when you move to a new country, when you move to London, Singapore, Sydney, New York or whatever English-speaking city you move to, can you communicate clearly with people? And you do this by avoiding all the errors commonly found in these essays and replacing them with simple, easy-to-understand language and clear, easy-to-understand ideas. Doing so will improve your grade dramatically. I hope you enjoyed that video and I hope it really helped you understand what the common mistakes are if you want to see how I transformed a different type of essay from about six to a band eight just click on this video and I'll show you exactly how I did it , thank you