Jonathan Winters Carson Tonight Show 13/4-1989"},"lengthSeconds":"827","ownerProfileUrl":"http://www

I enjoy Jonathan Winters. I really do. I've known him for a long time. I never know what he's going to do. He's a terrific talent and has a Showtime special called Jonathan Winters and Friends premiering this Saturday night. Would you welcome mr. Jonathan Winters I want to tell you Johnny don't worry about the tanker I'm sorry I'm sorry I was sleeping the next thing a little hard but it's finished in a photo well it's like my face and my moon the truth is no I'm in the future, you weren't in the door, oh, that's why you weren't in the hull, no, I always found the helm, uh, I probably should have been, but now I'm on the cruise ship and I'm having a good time being a full-time Ladies' Man, but I'll get back to you Let's see, wait, good decision.

I have no idea what you were going to do before you left here. Me neither. I saw that poor devil go into the water and yes, I see that. He's a big guy. he's not like me I'm a better looking man, I think you're a good looking man, well if you and I are a good looking man, well we certainly got you covered, that's your new inner bar, let's not let this become something shorter. this video, why am I taking you home to mom? She will allow it when you go out with him. I remember my days in the Navy are uh, usually, a flag officer you don't have, that's right, scrambled eggs in the hat, I bought this, I wear a many hats an antique store antique

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I think it was an exhibit here in California and it's the Cunard Line uh uh I guess there are these two properties in Manchester ours.

I know I usually go to Long Beach on Saturday afternoons and see what's going on. You know if they're going in or out or whatever uh and of course if a guy falls down then I grab his hat okay, but it's fun. You weren't a sailor oh no, I was good, I don't know. I was a Marine Green Green yes 10450 Semper Fi always always faithful isn't it always expensive yes always ready? I would never avoid piranhas who's the other one that's the Coast Guard right yes they were there what are the Boy Scouts Boy Scouts yeah I guess boy?

Scouts is pretty much this kid and when they grow up they still add three fingers, you know, let's do it for your real boy scout. No, he wasn't a Boy Scout. He wanted to be my mother. I went with her at that time. time uh, I was a little older, I thought she would be a safe bet. I was almost 16 last year, oh yeah, a little bit older and I thought that's the best reason to have a better opportunity, so I went to her and said I'd like to be an Eagle Scout and she said well you just don't fit in like an eagle, you have to be a cub, you're too old to be a cub, but all merit badges aren't merit badges and I was like, well, at least.

I would like to be a Boy Scout and she said well you have money for a uniform and of course I never had money for anything I accept a knife that I had in my boots I had high top sneakers I always had that and I for many I still carry it, do you know what I'm driving ? I'll be driving after the

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and I've got a good-sized rascal, yeah, but that ain't it, you know, and someone sticks their finger in the air, so I'm being says something unattractive or hits me out of the corner of his eye always hey man, what? you're done?

Yeah, a little violence, you know, so you never became a Boy Scout. No, I never became a Boy Scout. There were just so many areas where I failed, which we talked about a little bit. you're from the Midwest of Ohio, man, I'm from the Midwest, which is considered, you know well, do they come this time of year? Spring surprise back there, remember girls, what you do with yuria girls. I think I remember the winter girls on Twitter, of course, I didn't mean you, I was looking forward to spring, yes, but no, well, I was a kid again.

He had a lot of housework, plus the fact that I remember Sunday school. They kept asking me to stop. Thinking about all that and that was a sin, yes sir, well I guess it was a sin, yes, and you see who always said you know God is in my mind and the devil is in my pants lol. Oh, anyway, I was, I was a kid. enough, it wasn't a Lech, it wasn't a horny keychain, I can, I was always going to court once you open your eyes and you're considered bad news, hello Betty Jean, I think we were always called something like Betty.

Jean always Betty, oh yeah, and it was always no, no, what is this, no, no, no, okay, then try a smaller size. Do you respect me tomorrow? I know that's where you will receive respect. One thing I did. I made a terrible move. I've only done this once in my life, yeah of course I've been married for so long now this is all behind us oh boy is he after Harry that one time in high school I saw getting ready to leave anyway and this wonderful girl who really is a beautiful girl, our father was a police officer.

Hi, he would name it after him, but I'm sure he's still alive. Cops have a way of living with a longer name, unless of course you know it's a shootout, even when he had white hair. Hey you? I know I have no neck, okay, and then I'm going to pump that scoundrel, so I never laid a hand on him. However, BOTS cross your mind once you're out of town and we were going to a drive-in and, um, it was about drive-ins, you know better, dude, listen kid, that's, uh, those are fun pads that you know, so I had this little funny car with a stick shift, you know, I miss a stick shift, it was on the floor, yeah, yeah, yeah, and they were It's awkward, of course, you know, moving those things and bending them a lot, so anyway, I turned to this girl and we drove.

We had seen the entire movie, it attracted both attractions or the double header double feature and we got out and were about a mile away. far from the drive-in is Dave, you driving, you always remember that and I turned to her and said Polly, I would stop the car and I told her I'm crazy about you and I love you and I know you've been out a lot. of boys I had about 56 boys I had been through baseball teams Wow football anyway a lovely girl kept her figure and then I said just give me a big kiss typical of a boy, you know a young boy and I said, give me a big kiss I really need that at least and then I said something else because I got excited and I said if you don't get off and take a walk and she got off and I felt sorry for it because it was quite cold and we are at least two and eight miles from the city, you know, take a walk, it's very raw and I can understand where women and young girls are, especially young men, to say something like that, you know, come on, I want something, yeah, so I said, I apologize and she cooled I broke my jaw and for a moment late oh boy, I don't like it, you'll never forget it, strong woman, yeah, we'll be right back remembering how you grew up in the Midwest, you had a relatively happy childhood.

I had an unusual son. It was always are you here again what is what is now well I just came for a little love let's look sorry I brought that here's a little affection uh I must say I was an only child and I'm I'm getting very close now to where almost I completely stopped complaining about my childhood, which is really hard, uh, but the thing is, it's true. I mean, you know if you're making a good living and have a family or a wife and the house. very close to getting paid, uh, almost like things aren't bad enough that things aren't Seban, I have a car, you know, I'm and a wild beast in the garden, we don't know what it is, but it's when the Asians Lately and instead we have been on a track, but what we did was take a taxidermist, we did some hours a little strange without animals and I love animals, don't stay, I know I love animals, but when when scrabbles uh no Scrabble Scrabble I don't know whether or not to burn and name him, he's an alcoholic, but he's a traveler, we took a bike with reflectors and put it in the eyes of the animals, boy, when you see that scoundrel coming down, yeah, something like that you must have picked up your strange sense of humor from some member of your family mmm who is your mother father a grandfather and my mother had a great group c/and some minds also very very funny lady yes and three very tough very she was in show business I was on a small radio station but funny but funny yeah funny, she told me something that has stayed with me throughout my life and it's something I'd like to pass on to you, maybe if you know it, just leave the Reader's Digest there in Pullman car number 38 um.

My mother turned to me once and she told me that maybe she had already mentioned this on air before and if I have any way, raise your hand, but she said: would you like to be an intellectual? And I always want to be because I was very slow like labeled dumb in numbers classes, so coming out of the war and everything I thought, it would be fun for her to be an intellectual, you know, at least try and she said always read the end of each book, forget the beginning, forget the end. in the middle, read the end and remember to move constantly between the hors d'oeuvres and a little chatter that takes place at a cocktail party, so someone comes up hello, hello, HN, the destiny, did you read the lavender, a beaver, what not Is there anything interesting in that? with a man who escaped to Minsk and I, oh yes, I read that fascinating book and of course the star.

She stabbed him 16 times in the forehead and then she fell forward onto a piece of waste paper. I think it was the New York Times. Fascinated, excuse me. I want to get a little more dirt on the last ending of the book and keep going and keep going, yeah, so she helped me with that. My grandfather was a guy, a kind of person, he was funny, yes, he had been a banker and he said. bankers are not funny they are rich but they have no sense of humor and he said the tellers know her like that and they are really like that of course if someone does this oh but he was funny and he said he said just thinking and He loved show business, yeah, he never got into it, but he said the best thing about kids is that you can be whatever body you want.

I mean, of course, that's not true. We know that John has many other things that I want. The thing is, it's important to know where you're playing around the world, it's not a stage, it could have been when Willie was alive, you know, ah, but if you start playing here, about three blocks away from class from Edna or Chad, knees, wrists and directing traffic and okay, okay, Bob, okay, in comes the flying saucer, sir. In

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you used to do that kind of thing in gs. All the world was a stage. All the world was a stage.

Additionally, all the men wore bright white with a red cross underneath. Do not do that. I didn't understand it anymore. It just seemed like months after how. Are we okay today? I mean, how are we? I want to turn out well. You will do it when you get better. I'm fine here. Shoot counting. I feel great. Joe returned you.