John Oliver's Quest For U.S. Citizenship Culminated In An "Utterly Petrifying" Citizenship Tes

FRIENDS, LET'S GO DIRECTLY TO OUR GUEST FROM MARQUETA. I HAVE HAD THE PLEASURE OF INTERVIEWING MY FIRST GUEST MANY TIMES, BUT THIS IS HIS FIRST LATE INTERVIEW AS A US CITIZEN. PLEASE WELCOME TO BRITISH TURNED YANK, JOHN OLIVER! ( Applause and applause ) ( YANK DOODLE DANDY PLAYING ) ( Applause and applause ) ♪ ♪ ( Applause and applause ) ♪ ( Applause and applause ) St ( Applause and applause ) Stephen: IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU. GOOD TO SEE YOU. GOOD AFTERNOON. GOOD NIGHT. (Applause and greetings) THANK YOU. Stephen: LOVELY. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. Stephen: WELCOME FELLOW AMERICAN. THANK YOU! Stephen: NOW, IS THIS TAKEN LONG TO COME? HOW LONG -- HOW LONG -- THIS TAKES A LONG TIME TO ARRIVE.

Esteban: YES? I CAME TO THE UNITED STATES, VERY LIKE EDDY MURPHY. (LAUGHTER) I'M TOO A FICTIONAL AFRICAN PRINCE. I CAME HERE IN 2006 AND SO I HAD TO WANT THIS TO HAPPEN VERY SOON AFTER. Esteban: Okay. OR IT'S BEEN MORE THAN A DECADE. Stephen: THAT'S THE PAR OF THE COURSE. IT TAKES A LONG TIME TO BECOME AN AMERICAN CITIZEN. DEFINITELY CORRECT. I HAD TO GO THROUGH SEVERAL VISAS, GREEN CARD, I STARTED APPLYING FOR CITIZENSHIP AND IT TOOK LONGER BECAUSE THERE'S SAND IN THE GEARS, AND I HAD TO GET A SECOND GREEN CAMPLET, IT WAS INCREDIBLY TENSE. I AM INCREDIBLY RELIEVED.

Stephen: I UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS A TEST YOU SHOULD TAKE. I'M A LITTLE OUT OF BREATH, AND THAT'S ALARMING CONSIDERING THEY LITERALLY JUST JUST PULLED OUT. Stephen: THAT'S NOT A GOOD SIGN. I MEAN -- Stephen: HAVE A DRINK. I DON'T KNOW WHAT A MEDICAL WARNING SIGN IS. I bet you all saw it. Stephen: YES, SURE. I DON'T THINK IT SOUNDS LIKE CARDIO. Esteban: YES. (LAUGHTER) YES, RIGHT. Well, now you're an American. THAT'S TRUE. Stephen: YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXERCISE ANYMORE. (Applause and applause) SURE. YEAH. GREETINGS. Stephen: CHEERS TO YOU TOO. LITTLE FINGER DOWN. Esteban: SURE. AS A PROSPECTIVE AMERICAN CITIZEN, DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE A TEST?

OF COURSE. Stephen: I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO IT. I WAS BORN. OH, THAT'S RIGHT. Stephen: I NAVIGATED THROUGH THE BIRTH CANAL AND THEY HANDED THE THING TO ME WHEN I CAME OUT. THERE ARE 100 DIFFERENT QUESTIONS. THEY SELECT TEN TO SHOOT AT YOU. Stephen: WHAT HAPPENED AT APPOMATTOX. IT'S NOT EXACTLY THAT, BUT IT'S WHAT THE STATE CAPITOL IS, WHAT THE PRESIDENT IS. IT BECOME REAL EVERY TIME YOU SAY IT. Esteban: EXACTLY. THE FIRST QUESTION IS WHAT IS YOUR PHONE NUMBER. SHE WAS SO SCARED I WAS BLANK. SHE SAID, LET ME VERIFY YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER. I SAID I DON'T KNOW EITHER.

THIS IS NOT GOING WELL! Stephen: DID YOU IMAGINE THAT JOHN OLIVER WAS BECOMING SOMEONE ELSE'S PERSON? I WAS TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO THEM WHY I WAS SO AFRAID. I WAS TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO MY WIFE, I'VE BEEN ANXIOUS ABOUT THIS FOR A DECADE, SO IT'S BEEN ALWAYS PRESENT HANGING IN THE BACK OF MY MIND. THERE WAS PART OF ME STILL IN THE CEREMONY, I THOUGHT THERE WAS GOING TO BE A TRAP. THERE WAS A PART OF ME THAT LITERALLY THOUGHT THEY WOULD OPEN THE DOOR AND THERE WAS PLASTIC SHEETS ON THE FLOOR AND JARED KUSHNER WOULD BE SITTING THERE PETTING A HAIRLESS CAT, SAYING, OH, THAT WOULD HAVE MADE MORE SENSE TO ME THAN THE THING THAT WAS HAPPENING .

Stephen: YOU HAD TO GIVE UP THE QUEEN AND HER EMPIRE AND ALL THOSE THINGS? I DID IT YEARS AGO. SO -- (LAUGHTER) Stephen: WE ARE AMERICANS! I'M A DUAL CITIZEN, SO I HAVE TWO PASSPORTS LIKE JASON BOURNE. Esteban: WOW! YES, I CAN GO ANYWHERE, KILL ANYONE. Stephen: I THINK THAT'S WHAT IT IS, DUAL CITIZENSHIP. I THINK HIS CONFIDENCE IN GETTING STRONG, HURT PEOPLE REALLY CAME OUT OF HIS ABILITY TO LIVE AND WORK ANYWHERE ON EARTH. (LAUGHTER) Stephen: YOU CAN VOTE LIKE AN AMERICAN. ARE YOU EXCITED ABOUT THAT? YES, THEY GAVE US THE OATH. Stephen: IT MUST BE MOVING.

IT MOVES INCREDIBLY. THERE WERE 150 PEOPLE FROM 49 DIFFERENT COUNTRIES, WE HAD ALL WAITED FOR THIS A LONG TIME AGO. I HAD BEEN WAITING FOR OVER A DECADE, PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR 30 YEARS. SO IT WAS A BIG DEAL. THERE IS SOMETHING VERY INSPIRING ABOUT THE IDEA THAT THESE PEOPLE CHOOSE AMERICA, NOT ONLY CHOOSE AMERICA BUT THEY CHOOSE AMERICA NOW -- (LAUGHTER) -- WHEN THE COUNTRY IS NOT AT ITS BEST. (APPLAUSE) SO THAT'S THE POINT, HOW TO CHOOSE... Stephen: THAT'S REALLY HOPEFUL. CHOOSING AMERICA NOW IS LIKE FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS VOMITING ON HIMSELF. I'M TAKING A STEERING WHEEL THERE'S A GREAT HUMAN BEING DOWN HERE. (LAUGHTER) IT WAS VERY INSPIRING TO SEE PEOPLE BUY INTO THE IDEA OF AMERICA WHICH OBVIOUSLY THROUGH ANY PRESIDENT.

Stephen: AMERICA IS JUST AN IDEA. THE EARTH DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING, REALLY. WELL, DON'T SAY THAT TO SOMEONE WHO IS STILL HALF BRITISH TOO HARSH, THE LAND MEANS NOTHING. Well, then we'll accept it. JUST ASK INDIA. (LAUGHTER) Stephen: I'VE SEEN A LOT OF BREXIT RAH-RAH PATRIOTISM. There's no Uncle Sam to take you to England. I guess that's true. IT NORMALLY COMES OUT AT SPORTS EVENTS. FROM THERE IS THE LAND OF GLORY AND THE FLAGS WAVING. Stephen: WHAT IS YOUR TEAM? LIVERPOOL. Esteban: LIVERPOOL. MY FAMILY IS IN LIVERPOOL. Esteban: Okay. I LOVE LIVERPOOL SO MUCH THAT THE FIRST GAME MY DAD TOOK ME TO I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD AND I FORCED HIM TO LET ME WEAR MY FULL LIVERPOOL KIT AND SOCKS AND SHIN PADS AND SPORTS BOOTS UNDER MY NORMAL CLOTHES BECAUSE MY BASIS AT THAT AGE IS SOMEONE THEY WERE INJURED AND LEFT WITHOUT PLAYERS, THEY COULD HAVE TURNED TO THE CROWD AND SAY DOES ANYONE HAVE THE EQUIPMENT NEEDED TO PARTICIPATE?

AND I WOULD SAY YES! I HAVE COME PREPARED! I CAN DO IT! YEAH! (APPLAUSE) I HAVE ENOUGH SENSE OF THE CONSEQUENCES TO THINK THIS COULD BE GOOD FOR ME! Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK. YES. Stephen: BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, COMMERCIALS. SURE. Stephen: WE'LL BE BACK MORE WITH JOHN OLIVER, EVERYONE. PLEASE STAY.