Joe Lycett Actually Being Very Right-Wing | Joe Lycett

The other thing you should know about me is that I'm

very

right

-

wing

. That's another thing you should know about me. Yes, I am

very

right

. I am very right-

wing

. The Laura Curg show and, well, I'll just show you what I said, this is what I said. I know there has been criticism in today's Sunday mail about left-handed liberal comedians on the BBC. Actually, I'm very right-wing. and I loved it, yes I'm so right when people said I was

being

sarcastic, that's not me

being

sarcastic, I'm very right wing, does this sound like sarcasm to you? Well done Liz, that's not sarcasm.

Liz Truss was in the room she wanted. her to know how I feel about her this is weird what week is this is like for people at home watching we're filming this right after Liz Truss has quit so when you're watching this no no she's my best friend when are you watching this do you know who the prime minister is it's probably just a moth it's a prime minister moth hanging around what are your policies more lights yeah I'm in the back of this Uber and he says they're teaching the kids he's okay being gay in schools and I said oh it's a shame you say that because I'm bisexual and it affects me and he said oh I'm so sorry I don't want to offend anyone I don't want to upset anyone it's just um in my religion , the anus is not made for sex and I said well, have you ever had oral sex? and he said yes and I said well, the mouth isn't really made for sex, right? and he said oh and I said, I'll see you in Damn, he left, he laughed, we laughed the whole trip, at one point he said, you're so funny, are you on Facebook?

I was like, honey, I'm a big deal, but no one yelled, no one was aggressive, no one. it was violent we just had an adult conversation about it I got out of the taxi I reported him to Uber and he lost his job it's a nice story it's a nice story what he was referring to was at that time we had protests in our local area outside one of our schools was against this, you may remember it was in the press a little bit, it was called No Outsiders and it was a series of books that had been selected by one of the teachers at the school, a man called Andrew Moffet, and it was literally books that teach children that some people have moms and moms and dads and dads and families of different shapes and sizes.

This is one of the books that Mom M and I is a completely harmless book. I myself am against this book just because it seems to me They are raising a young Phil Specter, but other than a perfectly nice book, this is one of the other books. Dad Poer and I again, I'm against it because it looks like Dominic Cummings and I are raising a child. I think that's pretty clear. but our MP at the time was this man, a man called Roger Godsiff, now I know he looks like a pantomime villain, he's not at all, he's a real life villain, he's a Labor MP who voted against gay marriage and while these anti-LGBT protests in his constituency he was nowhere to be seen.

I sent him an email with no response and in the end I thought I was going to have to smoke this sucker, so I just did it, just made a little light. trolling Roger Godsiff that's all I just tweeted I just said Has anyone seen Roger Godsiff? I think I saw him riding a bike. Where could you have seen it? People went crazy over this. Oh, I saw him in the gym doing serious games. I saw it. Playing for the home team got weird pretty quickly, but that's Twitter, right? That's what happens on Twitter, but while Roger Godsiff was nowhere to be found, these protests continued for weeks and eventually the protesters began to speak. the press and say that magic like this is for the BBC when it comes to sex and other things, why are they teaching them that?

Why can't they just teach them what they need to be taught? No one was teaching kids how to have gay sex that's not what these books are about, they are literally teaching kids that some people have moms and moms, dads and dads and families of different shapes and sizes, no one would write a book to teach to kids how to have gay sex and then I thought I'd like to see that book and you know that sometimes if you want something to exist you have to make it yourself, don't you? So this is for a while.

Very simple concept. Anyway, a very simple concept teaches a child the The alphabet and gay sex is a very simple concept. David Williams gave me a quote which is very kind of me. You didn't have to do that lovely David Williams thing and we can play This Together, boys and girls. They shout what we think. B is for boys and girls, balls, well done, they are balls, it gets more complicated, what do we think? C, for CBT, lovely, I thought no, it's not, but there are no wrong answers here, no one else, cage, cage, it's not a cage, it could could be a cage, yes, no.

I'll give you it, it's cupping another bl's balls, that's what we think it's D for boys and girls D room there's something weird there we go uh some of you might need to Google it, later some confused straight people looking For me , What is a dark room? Just go to him. There's a place called Bolts that I would recommend anyway um uh and it's pretty complicated. What do I think E is for children? No, although it is a good thought, it is a good, charming, emo, easily accessible thought. it's easy to access well done well done very well said with so much confidence dad is that you're in uh in Newcastle someone said is that that hurts should be should be I was wrong I was wrong everyone will understand this The last one, boys and girls after three, What do we think F is for 1 2 3?

Fisting is to fight homophobia. Actually, Fisting that's disgusting. Fisting. This is for kids and you're screaming. Fisting. G is for gay. I put Alan Sugar on. Sorry, I should be gay. Sir, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, yes, I have been a big supporter of the Liz Trust. I love Liz Trust. I was

actually

critical of Rishi Sunak on the show. I wanted him and the country to know what I thought of him. This is what I said. Well. It was nice to hear from Rishi Sunak that he's not going to be Prime Minister, so you may have also interviewed Peter Andre.

I guess he snuck into Mom's DM right after that part from Andre himself. She said Samantha Peterson still makes me laugh, that's a reference to like an old man. a bit of stand-up that I used to do I responded to this I said this whole week has been crazy a message that has been on the scene a lot and I'm very right-wing I've been right-wing for a while people don't know this about me I was right-wing, this started with Nadine Doris, now she was the no, she's also my best friend, she was the minister for digital culture and sport, she said she wanted more right-wing comedy on the BBC.

I felt I was the man for the job, so I was presenting programs for the BBC, right-wing versions of their existing programme, to see if I could commission them, so, for example, I used to present the Great British Sewing and I did a right-wing version of that. It's not called sewing, it's called old ladies and puffs and the idea is that everyone on the show is called Gary and I go around and say what are you doing? Gary and Gary put on a blanket and the BBC didn't want to. The BBC didn't want to. It's so, um, introduce them to a right-handed outfielder.

Gardeners of the world. Great Britain only white flowers. Very strong borders. They didn't want to. Introduce them to a right-wing Top Gear. It is exactly the same program. I

actually

came up with a game show that I think is pretty cool. okay, but I haven't run the numbers yet, it doesn't really matter, let's say it's 100 jackpots. 10 contestants have seven days to obtain a positive covid test. I think you'd see it, people running around licking doorknobs in hospitals. I would see it, we would call it Hoodia PCR. Yes, I'm actually very anti-BBC these days. I'm actually suing the BBC after what they did to me.

It's strictly disgusting. It was disgusting. It is really nice. It is not. It's very right-wing, very right-wing. I've actually lost fans because I'm so right-wing because Boris Johnson, who's my ride or die? Him when he was prime minister for the first time in case they can cut him if not. It happened, uh, when he was prime minister. I would like to support him. You know, I like to tweet him support when he asked the Prime Minister's Questions. This kind of thing, don't let it get to you, baby. just jealousy, that must have been hard, baby, proud of you, don't try hard, baby, I'm with Nadem, we're on your side, no matter what people responded to these tweets, they would respond, they would say things like this, remember Yo I never booked a ticket to see you, oh dear, I was a fan, bye, seriously, you're wasting time for fans to confirm if it's a joke, confirm if it's a joke, exactly the kind of person you want in a comedy audience , no, I will never confirm what it is. a joke, so it's lgbtq plus if you're interested it's lesbian gay for trans queer and then the plus is for all the other letters and there can be as many letters as there are people in the world, some of the most popular are asexual. uh, gender fluid, that's why you don't see your gender as one thing, they can be different things at different times.

I was explaining that to Peter one time and he said, yeah, I know what genderfluid is, but the name genderfluid, you can imagine what. It smells pretty good oh my gosh I had a heavy night covered in gender fluid in the morning I was uh there it is me for intersex that doesn't mean oh yeah I'm intersex um I don't know what that means that's my intersex leg um there's a P pansexual, which is how I define myself now, doesn't mean I do things in the kitchen, as Linda musically observed, non-stick surface, not when I'm around, Linda pan means different things to different people to me, it's a form of bisexuality I recognize that Gender plays a role in why I am attracted to people, but not necessarily the essential role.

There are all kinds of common threads in our sexualities that we wouldn't otherwise recognize. You might only be attracted to blonde people, but you wouldn't. I'm not saying you were sexually blonde, but that would be a common thread. I think the common thread in my sexuality is that all the people I'm attracted to aren't attracted to me. That seems to be the common thread. Sometimes it's not really about how they look or what they look like. gender or anything else has more to do with how they behave or how they take control of a situation. I explained this to Linda in a very clumsy way.

She was at Mosley's Post Office in Birmingham, if you know, Birmingham, there are two boxes. there's one here there's one here in this until she was a very young girl, very loud, very attractive, young and effervescent, she was wearing a cath kidson coat, she was behaving like a human baraca, she was upset, she was a kind of girl who It has Live Laugh Love written on it. a living room, but it was also made for gbh, you know, she bothers the person here and then, here was some kind of very old octogenarian crushed by a rather poor looking old lady, a kind of Merry Berry, if she didn't have money, I just crushed her and she goes, I'm sorry, I can't hear you, she kept saying I'm sorry, I can't hear you and at the end she said, I can't hear you because you're screaming and I said, Linda, I said I don't know what it was, but in that moment, the way she took control of that situation, the way she extinguished all of this woman's joy, the way everyone was looking at her, I thought she was so attractive, so beautiful, obviously she would.

I wouldn't do anything about it and Linda said, "Oh, what's bothering you? I said no, I wouldn't do anything about it because she's poor, but the point is, there are all kinds of new identities flying around right now, new ways to describe yourself. and I think that's wonderful, but you have two options when you meet someone with an identity you don't know, you can be afraid of them, scared, make fun of them or be fascinated, ask them a lot of questions, be curious and kind. Like when I saw a platypus for the first time. I think they are amazing.

They are mammals. They lay eggs. Which are? The first platypuses that scientists found. They found one dead. They did some scientific tests. Your conclusion is false. They thought someone had sewn a duck and an otter begs the question who they thought was doing they like oh that's Martin he loves doing that Martin the other day brought this he said it was a PO Poise obviously a dolphin and a bellend classic Martin man I 'I'd like to tell you about a little project I've been working on with the edl, the English Defense League, some member occasionally crossed my audience with the edl, if you're not familiar with the edl, they don't . like Muslims or hair, those are the two things they despise.

Muslims and hair there was a demonstration last summer, a demonstration in Birmingham, you may have seen this photo. This is a girl called Sfia Khan, she was in front of one of the EDL members. yes, she is incredible sopia Khan with this serenity and calm on her face with all this aggression from the edl member in the weeks before this demonstration I discovered that someone I went to school with and who I am still friends with on Facebook by mistake He is a member of edl and was trying to generate support for this demonstration with his own Facebook group.

Now I like to troll people on social media using variousalias I think, so I went on as Angela Midin and wrote hello guys, looking forward to the demonstration in Brum later. I think it will be a beautiful day. I work in public relations with some high-profile right-wing and right-leaning commentators such as Katy Hopkins, Pierce Morgan and Fern Britain. Now Fern Britain I don't think is right-wing in any way, but she. She blocked me on Twitter, so she and a lot of people felt like Gandy had blocked me. Now I'm unblocked. I should mention that, um, it's a long story, I won't really go into it.

There was a threat in his life. Let's move on. She will be dead by nightfall. She actually she is a very nice lady. I continued. One of my clients brought to my attention the fact that there is an organization that already uses the name edl. All this is true. I did a little research. It is a company called Electricity Do Lean and it supplies electricity to the country of Lebanon, according to recent statistics. Lebanon is 54% Muslim, which means in effect that the EDL is boosting Muslims as a result. I think an immediate rebranding of the edl and a name change before the demonstration is necessary.

I have discussed this with my colleagues in the office and we have reached an agreement. with the name eyes in Islam or Isis for short see you all there love Angela in 3 minutes someone called benp put uh join Isis sounds a lot like Isis well done Ben said Ed what about the UK Defense League ? You could have @ukl on Twitter now I did some research on this to see if it's viable, unfortunately for Ben it's not. There is already a UK account on Twitter. You can, it's private. You can read the blurb. This is the propaganda.

We all start out wearing diapers. Many of us will end. in them, so why enjoy them in between? He is an adult who wears diapers. Okay, each to their own, but I'm not sure what vibe the edl is going for, so I suggested what about the Islamic cessation group or Isis for short, Ben. Still sounds like Isis, well done Ben. I said, "How about Islam should stop immediately?" a pus-filled growth on my cornea I think it's a bit funny there we are waiting for Roger Godsiff to give a statement about the anti-LGBT protests in his constituency and he finally does, he talks to the press and you can see what he said in this article, he said the protesters were right, he was on their side and I was so angry, sad and scared, if I'm honest, I felt like the walls were closing in on me in Kings Heath, it felt like there.

There were protests against my community, essentially against me and the local MP was siding with him and I felt it was no longer safe for me to be in Kings Heath. I felt like I should be somewhere else, so I started looking elsewhere. I started looking for. LGBT friendly areas, places that are more queer friendly and in my research I came across this article in News Week that says why house prices are higher in LGBT neighborhoods. Buyers in gay areas face paying up to four times the average price and I noticed. This is the solution to my two problems.

I want to live in an LGBT-friendly neighborhood and I want the price of my house to rise to Greg's level. Sometimes if you want something to exist, you have to make it yourself, so that day four years ago. I decided I was going to turn King's Heath into a gay Village, that's what has been haunting me every moment since that day. Let me tell you what happened. I had no idea how a gay Village starts. I just assumed Jane McDonald shows up and hangs around. the area like a dog looking for a place to go and then a drag bar opens and she's away, that's what I thought happened.

I investigated. There is a list of gay towns on Wikipedia, there are hundreds of them around the world and their definition of gay town is. an urban area with generally recognized boundaries that unofficially forms a social center for LGBT people now the word I was interested in is not official there is no official body that declares which areas of gay towns it just happens organically and naturally Castro in San Francisco is a very famous gay town It just happened naturally. I felt there should be an official body declaring which areas are gay towns, so I created the Gabor Hood Foundation.

I started a great website for them explaining who they are, what they do, the images on the Lisa Scot Le home page, why they exist. What I do is I publish a list every year of the official Gabor neighborhoods around the world and here is that list, there is Bron Street in Edinburgh, Castro San Francisco and then located there, I put King Heath in Birmingham. I also put Chigwell in Essex because that's where Alan Sugar lives after I made this. I realized that this can't come back to me. People can't realize it has anything to do with it.

They will think it's a joke, a trick, it won't work if people think I have something to do. To do this, it needs to feel natural and organic, so I created an alias for someone who could do this for me. I called him Ken Roberts. I imagined him as some kind of aging gay guy from New York, kind of a guy who slept with a lot of musical theater people, you know, they call it Broadway, that kind of person made a picture of how I imagined him so he could get into his head, a gay Wayne liner type is what I was looking for if you don't know.

Wayne ler enjoys his Instagram after the show he's um he's Gary's brother liner he looks like Gary liner if Gary was a piece of meat left in a bag, it was Ken Robert's job to turn King Heath into a town gay that di He gave him everything he needed. I gave him an email account with a signature. You can only be yourself unless Ken Roberts opened a limited company with him so I could make deals without them answering me. I opened a bank account with that company. Cash Plus who asked the least amount of questions if you are interested and the first thing I bought with that bank account was a burner phone, now burner phone, if you don't know, don't look at cable or whatever, it's a cheap cell phone used by drug traffickers. them, they make the deals, they throw away the phone, they shouldn't have gone to the car phone store and ordered a burner phone, it caused some confusion which ended in me having the Alcat One Touch because, in their words, it doesn't float, it that hits Not the kind of experience I was expecting at Car Warehouse, there you go, the first thing I wanted to do was get in the press, get a column.

Inés's first call was to the Birmingham post office. They have been great friends of mine over the years. they call themselves Birmingham live online and they write a lot about me, they write about the kitchen extension opening in May, they also basically write anything. Joe Li still writes to Santa every year. Joe Li spots a funny problem with weit 1 H tomatoes. That's why Joe likes it. I was in Tamworth but they were right and I thought if I could get the mail from Birmingham people would talk so Ken made a big press release, a big email explaining that Kings Heath was now an official ghood and he used his signature.

You can only be yourself unless you're Ken Roberts and lo and behold, a few weeks later they published an article that Kings Heath named along with San Francisco and IA as lgbtq friendly Gabor Hood.