Jim Jefferies Doesn't Understand Americans

this is exciting this shows that they look different the last time i was in this why what happened last time you didn't use to bother your old ladies because you were much shyer probably probably in the next year or so you have also changed In the locker room We used to have cupcakes there, but since you're slim, it's hummus and veggies, yeah, we know. Do you know what I would thank you again? Actually, we have cupcakes here. I don't know how they weren't made. It's your way, but today we have cupcakes, Kathy Griffin's mom probably took it, how are you, what's going on, congratulations on your Emmy nomination, thanks for always being in the same category, I was in the same category. category, I didn't get in, you voted for yourself, of course, I would invite myself, maybe it was a vote, well, yes, but the show is going well, I have always been on the air in the second season, so we are up to the episode 34 or something, what episode are you plotting? then we'll earn the last few thousand how long have you been in the United States for nine years and I'm still adjusting?

Do you really not feel like you see yourself? I will always live in the United States. an American char, but there are things I will never accept and there are things I don't know, like I'm still not sure which ones are nickel and which ones are dime, like I know, I don't know what, how much. worth each I don't know which currency is which and I look, I don't act like a rich man, but I just keep it at the gas stations. It's been so long I can't ask anyone, yeah. It's like I'm telling you that you probably have employees here whose names you don't know, do you want mine?

You're a friend hey, won't you work with a guy for five years? I know what the little brown coin is that's a pretty penny, that's one, yeah, what's wrong with you? The United States penny, ten cents and what's the other one, five cents. Yeah, sure, just call it one, four and seven or whatever they are. I know the quarter because they came in handy when I first moved. there Dave & Buster still took a quarter oh, you can spend time on the Devon bus. I love Dave & Buster's. I didn't know that about you, why would you have a number on the coins?

Okay, it's like there's a five on the nickel and you can read it. that indicates that it's worth a nickel, yes, I feel like it's a band-aid, some kind of passive-aggressive protest against the United States, not only the United States does everything, any people who don't use the metric system, but don't get stupid because, like you should work in degrees Celsius the freezing point is zero the boiling point is one hundred, it says yes it makes your number freeze at twenty seven point six. I don't know, but it's ridiculous, whatever you do, they're putting the month first, yeah, the month, the day and then the year, shouldn't it be like that, oh, it should be the day first, then it should be the amount smallest, the middle amount and then the largest amount, because the day is the most important, just when someone asks.

You the date is not going July the most important thing today is twelve o'clock right I don't even bother friend I still stand firm I thought I would come here in December I am sure I have ruined many contracts in my career When you do those immigration forms I always get confused and you may be right about this too. You could really help us here. What did you do before being a comedian? I don't really have any other skills so if the comedy stuff I watched my friends for a while when I was a kid my parents were really into you had to have a job when I was a kid oh really yeah in Australia McDonald's can employ you at 14, here it's 16, I think so, I was working with tubs, avoid 14. years the 40 in a row from 14 to almost 18 which would be 17 I learned very quickly that if you don't try hard no one will promote you no it's like mcdonald's gives you more money if you do it right uh-huh you just have more responsibility to get started in the fishing station field okay i made it no i can make a better fish filler than me and I'd stay in that little section right now, occasionally they have Jim.

Why don't you try Big Macs? It's just me. Yes, what I do is write. They would never let me make a Big Mac again. There you go, go back and fill it with fish. Now my whole world has arrived. it fell apart in 1992 when they introduced the Chicken McNugget which became the same station as the fish filling because it was close to the tubs and it quadrupled my work oh wow yeah yeah even though they are very popular they still are and now they use chicken , but I always always liked VATS because it was an archaic system, but what they had was that girls were only allowed to work at the counters and boys worked in the kitchen, fine, but if you work at the counter McDonald's you have to make the fries.

The girls had to go to the chips, so I was always next to the other 14-year-old girls, making me feel like a fish. I know you have it there. I did that special. I got nothing, but I had a lot. of drinks only the seasoned fries at McDonald's have a system where you had to do the golden arches to do it correctly, you have to do it like this so that there is the right amount of salt or whatever is best or whatever they put in that size so big. probably why the Burger King ones are so bad because the biggest ones, yeah no you kept the lies before Wendy's tracked it down there no no they fired me oh you did yeah the boss I used to think that was. as an 80 year old man, he was probably 27, right, why did he fire you?

Well I stole a nugget, you know what's in your mouth, I wasn't a nugget, you know, I'm trapped, yeah, now you're fired, so I just grabbed a handful of Nuggets and you shot 'em, now you shoved a few more in my pockets and then you gave him the finger and you get out of there, that's what you do, you load up Nuggets, you get out of here, he's still there, oh yeah, just when I leave. visiting my parents I still have it because my children um it's not the picky eater kid aha, the picky eater all the kids yeah, the worst, right, and the parents try to act like it's the picky eater kid. the food and it's not his fault like my son is a pig if you're a parent and you have a son who is a picky eater it's completely your fault it's completely yours yes I've been to Asia I've seen a kid eating a chicken head like an apple Moms don't like our young chicken heads, that's all he wants, he won't touch anything else, chicken heads and macaroni and cheese, my son, so I had to go back to McDonald's because my son likes chicken nuggets Mike's, my kids' favorite chicken nuggets, actually fried chicken.

Now you know we live in Los Angeles, right? You know how it is, you shouldn't eat it, eat it, play it, yeah there's a thing because they give a lot of money to anti-gay groups that try to stop gays. Marriage and they are gay cam prey so I ended up here but it's my kids favorite chicken so yeah I'm looking down on two places so I also eat chick-fil-a and I have to tell you, damn. It's good, the chicken supports the boys as much as possible, but until they can make you can parrot chickens, the city wants you to challenge and hopefully they accept it well, you are very funny, thanks for coming to the Netflix special, for TRUE. available right now just released at midnight Jim Jefferies everyone, I'm Anita hi, I'm Jimmy Kimmel and I can NOT eat this cookie until you click the subscribe button so click now.

I'm hungry.