Jeremy Clarkson "I Went On The Internet and I Found This" Compilation

I

went

on the

internet

this

week, oh god, and

found

this

, it's pure porn, look at it, it's a convertible version of the alfa romeo 8c I was driving a few minutes ago, but it's beautiful, don't you think? I think it's great news. Now, Chrysler is about to announce that all of its cars in its range will come with Wi-Fi connectivity. Hey, yes, you get a device in the trunk that allows you to connect to the Internet. The movement is very intelligent. You will be able to check your emails. Yeah, could you see Abby Titmus as a guard.

And I say that she is only for passengers. It will really be a case of I

went

for the M40. week and

found

this, now you had to listen while we were off the air, okay, I had a look on the

internet

and there was this, now I can believe something else that was in it was like this, yeah, okay, that's right, yeah, this guy. Okay, he came here, crashed into the uh, crashed into that and spun up there and he's the luckiest man in the world. What's so lucky about that cut in the general shot?

Wow, that's where the center of the earth is. I know how long ago that happened. Six months he has stopped screaming, but one of those screams where you have to breathe. Something bad is happening. More screams. We continue screaming. I'll be sitting at home. What is on the other side?. Six months of screaming. Hey, the truth. we welcome gay couples yes we especially like the lesbian font oh god no no i saw a movie about lesbians on the internet once that looked really interesting how fast do you think a salmon can cross a road? thinking about a chicken, you say look at this video I found on the internet, look, they're salmon, they're fish, they're actually salmon, oh that's pretty interesting, look at them, there's hundreds of them all crossing the street, what?

Are they doing this? That's what's interesting. You know, the new Citroën Balingo. Okay, this is a car we really like. It costs eleven thousand less than eleven thousand pounds, but for that you have a very big car, very spacious and with the best ride, frankly, of all. car under a Rolls Royce. I've been thinking how do they make a car like that for less than 11 grand, so I went online and found this later. Well, I found this. It is the Citroën website. Yeah you know, they always list what a car comes standard with, yeah you can tell when a car company is desperate to come up with something when they have a laminated front windshield, wow that's supposed to look at it's a sheet of glass cut from a greenhouse, yes, no, it gets better, it has a single seat for the front passenger, eh, and manually adjustable outside mirrors as if, unlike which the only alternative is electric, right?

Which is better? So that's just saying that it's something that doesn't have, yeah, it doesn't have electric dormers, it doesn't have. It has alloy wheels, it's a very good car as long as you want something that is equipped like a Romanian prison anyway look, I went on the internet this week and found this. I also found this, which should say it is closed so we can impose a ridiculously low speed limit on the lane that is not closed and then put up average speed cameras so we can catch you for speeding and fine you and spend the money on signs with squirrels with antlers, that's what I should say now.

Have you ever wondered? The thing is, I know why women don't do it is because as soon as a woman puts on a racing suit, she is immediately treated like a sexual object. Have you been on the Internet again? Yes, I found this. oh god I found this too, okay there's a reason for this, it was a survey, it's okay to find the sexiest female racing drivers, not the best, not the fastest in the whole ruse, not the most dedicated, sexiest, well she won it apparently now, when was the last time someone told kimi? raikkonen, would you mind posing in a red bikini?

It's never right, go all the way down, look at them, there's a look from Sabine from Germany, look at her, when was the last time someone said Nigel Mansell? Could you wear a dress four sizes too small for you? It happens and it really bothers me, but you know, the most surprising thing about this poll is who came in tenth. I know we should scroll down and find out. Can you see what a racing driver is and isn't? I think there are bigger problems than that if we're honest I'm not sure what am I less of a woman or a racing driver what are we going to talk about now I'm going to talk about this I came on the internet this week I thought you would stop doing that no, no, No, okay, here we go, it's the clip that I found right here, man in the Range Rover, and we're going to pause it there now, James, what do you think will happen next?

Well, I see, then it will crash into the post. post no, it'll slide into the wheelie bin, though really man, okay, play with the rest of the bag, let's see who's right, oh, I think that made him jump, wouldn't that be surprising, look at this, there's no way to knowing it, I do. which now that I just saw it because yeah, I'm going to park in this one here because it's the same thing, uh, okay, the thing is, if you buy a garbage card, what you're saying is that I have no interest in cars if you have no interest.

In cars you have no interest in driving and if you have no interest in something it means you are not good at it which means you should get your driving license. This week I went online to compile a series of clips of people. having parking accidents, you know, minor dings and scratches, see if you can spot something that all cars have in common, here we go, what is that, which one is which one we're looking at, this is Honda, wait, but we're not talking here . about a good driver, right? because their pedals are confused, okay, sure, oh, it's a skoda big gate, oh, geez, no, oh, the worst car in the world, it's, they're alleles, yeah, I think this is a chrysler neon. try to do that, but anyone who drives one of those takes away their license or that one is unbelievable, I think it's a pontiac, yes that went wrong, now here we are, we are in Britain, for this one who is a bad driver, he has a bus, but he made it and here comes the honda oh no lewis hamilton what oh he had an accident because he didn't stop in time did you see him last weekend? you saw it?

No, why weren't you looking? Well, never go either. From the sound it crashed, Paul? I know his tires had gone out and then it got a lot worse for him. In fact, we found this on the Internet. In fact, stop for gas on the way home. Oh, bad day for everyone. because we have the most important news of all time. um, I know you probably imagine that we go to wild parties all week, but this week we didn't. We went online and found this Porsche Design website. Well, now it's full of everything. the things you would expect have briefcases with the word Porsche written on them, wallets and pens that you can buy for three pounds anywhere else because they have water, they cost three and a half million pounds each and it's all full of it.

It's complete garbage and now we got into smoking tools and discovered that for the Porsche enthusiast guy you have to be a Porsche designed pipe enthusiast. Bad news. Mr Cameron has decided that pornography should be banned on the internet. What are you going to do? that means we won't be able to see images like this anymore, wait a minute, it's like that, it hasn't banned it yet, look at this, that's what you mean, yes, oh yes, it's a strong phenomenon, it is and it's going to continue . being banned is actually a unique lamborghini based on the guardian it's called selfish it's not called me the selfish one is selfish in Italian it's like that anyway you won't be able to see that and you won't be able to see it well either How is that pornography?

Well, it's orange. The thing is, this is a true story. OK. A friend of mine has a website. OK. He has an orange background now in several offices and workplaces that have this internet porn filter. OK. The orange color is collected. like a skin tone which of course is in Cheshire yeah so we'll see it as a naked lady with some kind of Renault bag shaped bejazzle and then she won't let anyone see it so mr pawn filter Cameron is just going to stop us from looking at things that are orange, yeah, David Dickinson has it, he's gone, I think he's a little more sophisticated than that, I think he looks for words and things too, you know, in the engines of search, those are certain words, yes obviously volvo, well they are a bit close to oh I see, so if it's not accurate, what about fox alloys?

No, you will never get what you are going to do. No, oh look at them, you know we were doing the Africa special last year and I. I got my BMW stuck in that termite mound and I said, sure, James, back up to me and Hammond pulled me from behind, no, Mr. Cameron, don't forbid it now.