James Hetfield Discusses Getting Sober (from Joe Rogan Experience #887)

Hey monster, if you care about what you do that's just part of the probe, cheers and that's it, there's a healthy part to that and then moving on from that is easier now than it used to be, it was like living In Myself. for a while, oh man, you forgot the worst of that song and then it becomes a mental block, you wake up and say, oh, like a kicker or something, you know, the guy who's going to kick a field goal is like , Oh me. I missed that one, I can't believe it, then I did it, then the next one, oh my god, now it's a thing, yeah, oh, so

getting

all those metal bosses, yeah, fighters lose a fight and then come back and then you can see the discomfort, you can see the confusion and fear and that is one of the hearts.

I think psychological problems are some of the most difficult problems that people ever overcome and it's literally like a thought pattern in your mind, just when you decide that you're not as good as you used to be, you can manifest that, physically, you can do everything. the same things, that's so crazy, the power of thought, the power of my mind, it's quite dangerous sometimes and, being creative, I make up all kinds of nonsense, you know, like a Large is doing that with just me, I know and then you talk to him later, like what are you talking about, whatever, yeah, that's nice, that's a curse and a gift, that creativity, you know how hard it was for you to be

sober

.

Um, fear was a big motivator because for me, you know, losing my family was that, that was what scared me so much, that was the last thing I hid, that my family was going to leave because of my behaviors that I brought home from the My wife kicked me out of the house. I lived alone somewhere and you know I didn't want that and maybe as part of my education. You know, my family broke up when I was a kid. You know, my father is gone. mom passed away I had to live with my brother and then like everyone like the family you know where my stuff goes where it just floated away and I don't want that to happen you know no matter what's going on let's talk about this do make it work, you know my wife has the same idea, the same thought, you know her family, she was the invisible girl too, you know, so we interact a lot, so there's no way we're going to let you know any arguments. along the way or you just know we're survivors we're survivors and we're going to talk about it no matter how much and you know she did the right thing she kicked my ass to hell house you know and um that scared the hell out of me so She said, hey, you're not just going to go to the therapist now and it's not about this, you have to go somewhere and figure this out, so that's what I did, although rehab did rehab. really worked for me to tell Jeff to go for uh well what worked for me was seven weeks somewhere like basically tear yourself to the bone, tear your life apart, anything you thought about yourself or what you were, anything you thought that you had, your family, your career, your anything has left you just fine you were born that's how you were when you were born you're fine you're a good good person let's go back to that again and then slowly they rebuild you and then I went to another them Call them places of aftercare.

I went there to a couple different ones and they fine-tuned things and integrated you back into life because when you're in this cocoon and you're raw, I mean, I was raw meat when I came out. and you can see it in that kind of monster movie. I was still pretty raw, I didn't know what I could do or what I should or shouldn't do, so the last place we went was a place that helps relationships. So they got me and my wife together and we CCed people separately and then we got together and talked about what we did and damn communication saved my life saved our family and working on those things is very grateful for my wife she She's the one who didn't I'm not asking for this, she walked through the fire with me and we came out together stronger than we ever would have been before and you know my kids know my story, my kids know my struggles and they respect that they respect me in a different way. .

I don't have to tell them what to do all the time or just say that I am this. I can ask them for forgiveness, I can tell them. Hey, this is what happened when I did that and you know I don't need to preach to them. They have their own things but now they have now they make fun of me I ruined my trust with my family and now by some miracle they are joking with me it's like dad shut up what do you understand? come on, you know you're After blowing this up to get out of dad, you're taking up too much space here.

Okay, so they helped me and I realized that there is help in a loving way. How long have you been

sober

? 15 15 years. Did it start when When you started doing it, you felt like you broke through and you know you went to therapy and you got out of rehab and you're going through all this, it was like a shaky leg period where you're like man, I mean Do I know who I am? Oh, absolutely, that was it, that was, you know the power of the mind and how you know, that's how my life works and actually throwing that away completely and starting over is like well, wait. wait a minute, who am I without this?

I'm a I can't talk to people I'm anxious I'm shy I'm all the things that I thought alcohol was helping me with or you know you know alcohol drugs women buying eating gambling you know there's so many things that can manifest out there that it all comes together. It goes back to one core thing, it's like no, I don't really know who I am, so it took me years and years and years to figure it out, okay? so that's part of me and this is part of me the anger the although you know the extravagance the idiotic part of me all these little things that make me I got a hug should I accept them?

Know? and stop running from them and pretend that I'm an immovable object on stage that's hard and you know nothing can do it, you know nothing can hurt me, but inside you know it's kind of a cliché to say that the harder the shield external, the softer the internal is and the more vulnerable and in balancing that you know almost as if you are concentrating so much on the external heart that you totally ignore the internal and then you forget what I really want and then you get lost in that other person and yes, being in a band certainly accelerated that.

You know there was a drink and a drug and all kinds of things that are thrown at you all the time and it starts out as a fun little thing and then it becomes an escape from sin and then all of a sudden you don't really do it. I don't remember why you're there doing things. I went on tour just so I could go to the strip club. Hey, we're going to this place, you know, and we're going to drink here, and you know, we knew all that stuff, but. The actual performance on stage was a little forgotten, you know, it was just that we got caught up in the rock star stuff and there's a song on this album called Moth In Flame that speaks directly to how fame can be like this. crazy drug and it can take over you completely if you let it, you know you are looking for that thing that will save you and it is you, it is in you, it is already there, you only have one, you just have to find it and accept it. he