Is Modern Feminism starting to undermine Itself? | Jess Butcher | TEDxAstonUniversity

Translator: Florencia Bracamonte Reviewer: Peter van de Ven Good afternoon. Therefore, I'm not sure I can detect any anger in the audience with my somewhat controversial title, given that we are sitting here at a diversity-themed event. What I will say is bear with me, especially because I'm going to start off on a very positive note. There has never been a better time to be a woman. Women have never had so many opportunities as they do now. Run countries, companies, control your personal, financial and sexual life. Girls outperform boys in school and more go to university. Women in their 20s and 30s often earn more than men.

We should feel optimistic. And yet we are not. In fact, sometimes it seems that all womanhood is depressed. Faced with an avalanche of information about the current disparity and fortune between women and men; by a narrative of social disadvantage and patriarchy that cuts across Me Too, the gender pay gap, the glass ceiling and more. But to what extent are these assumptions crystal clear? And what are the possible implications for how women respond to both the opportunities and challenges in their lives? So who am I? A woman, yes, and a mother of three children under five years old.

I am a successful entrepreneur enjoying a career where I get to deal with some of the most important thinkers and doers in the world today, in business, politics, media and academia. I am privileged, there is no doubt. My race, background, and opportunities mark me as one of the privileged elite. What do I know about the downside? And what is my agenda here? Well, as a woman, I am a minority in my field of technology and entrepreneurship. Difficult industries in which to be a woman, or so the narrative would have you believe. No. It's not like that.

I don't think this was a disadvantage, just the most incredible opportunity. One that has allowed me to stand out and obtain recognition. I describe myself as an entrepreneur, not a businesswoman, because I subscribe to a current of

feminism

that told me that I could be and do anything that boys could do. And, in fact, I have come to resent the move toward positive discrimination, which might imply that any of my achievements are due to something other than merit. If I look back at all my good luck, I can honestly say that, in large part, it is due to the love, support and faith of the men in my life.

My father, husband, bosses, business partners, peers and mentors made my journey possible. But of course, the greatest advantage I possess is self-confidence and faith. And this is what I want to look at in more detail today. Why does it seem to be so much harder to find in women than in men? And how could

modern

feminism

be undermining it even further? The gender pay gap is talked about everywhere and, in fact, 70% of the population incorrectly assumes it to mean that women receive a lower salary for the same work. Is not true. Actually illegal. And it's also nonsense, since companies would surely prefer to pay for cheaper labor.

The average disparity of 18.4% can largely be explained by the choice of 42% of women to work part-time. The figure drops to 9.1% when comparing full-time to full-time, a figure understandable to some extent given the fact that women choose different types of professions. Women in their 20s and 30s, as we've heard, often earn more than men. The wage gap is negligible; fluctuates; Some years women earn more than men. And women who work part-time actually earn more than men who work part-time. In fact, the headline statistic ignores many of the complicated variable factors behind it. And in particular a positive potential: that of female choice.

The glass ceiling has been broken time and time again by heads of state and business leaders, proving that for those women who aspire to that type of career, it is absolutely possible. But these are, of course, hard, almost masochistic lives, full of imbalance, politics, stress and long hours of work. We can hardly even whisper any suspicion we might have that this is a lifestyle to which fewer women and mothers aspire. And arguably only the smallest percentage of men. Right now, I'm watching a large number of some of my high-flying friends quietly back away from their aspirations of becoming partners, moving away from 60-hour work weeks, and some opting to quit altogether so they don't enjoy these first years. of family life, including myself.

Two years ago, I made the decision to leave the front seat of my business to spend more time with my three children. And it's a decision I will never regret. Having lost two friends recently, very early in their lives, it really drove home the fact that I will never get those years back. That's too important. But of course, women like me are partly responsible for the gender pay gap, and many of us may never touch that glass ceiling because it's simply not the lifestyle we want. These are just two of the big feminist issues of our time, along with others like Me Too, online trolling, body shaming and objectification, and domestic violence; all of them topics that you would be forgiven for thinking are exclusively feminine.

Now, there has been a lot of very well-intentioned campaigning behind these issues and some very positive by-products, such as shedding light on some of the more insidious ways in which some men can mistreat and underestimate women and, of course, on the abuse of can. But my fear is that the increasingly broad and broad-ranging definition of prejudice and harassment is now something almost any woman can associate with. And we simply cannot cry misogyny every time we are called out or stopped in some way. I fear an ideology and rhetoric that is beginning to pit women against men, that focuses on what we can't do and don't have rather than what we can and have.

My intention in trying to shed light on some of the other aspects of these issues is not to deny the existence of discrimination that may exist in some of them, but rather to question the net cumulative effect: that of female victimization. Feminism, like other forms of identity politics, has become obsessed with female victimhood. Whereas before it was about the representation of women as mature and equal partners in society, now it seems mostly about female power. And yet, it takes away its power. It seems that we are weak and helpless, like children. Psychologists have long emphasized the power of beliefs to come true and how stereotypes contribute to social inequality.

Trust, of course, is something we will all have experienced. You look well; you feel good. They tell you that someone likes you; you are more relaxed with them. And conversely, if you suspect that someone doesn't like you, then you act in a more defensive and less confident way around that person. Victims believe that they are powerless and have no sense of control over the way events unfold. Assuming that something has happened to you because of a bias, whether right or wrong, is rarely the most productive response. It prevents introspection, self-analysis and, most importantly, especially if due to prejudice, the evaluation of new methods and techniques to circumvent the status quo.

And what about men? Well, actually there is competition here for competitive victimhood if we want to play that game. Men have their own set of disadvantages that are rarely discussed publicly, including higher dropout rates; mental health; much higher suicide rates; much higher workplace deaths; war deaths; deaths in crimes; higher rates of homelessness; bias in criminal courts and sentencing disparity, where men receive sentences almost 60% longer than women for the same crime; almost equal rates of domestic abuse; paternity fraud; child custody; and, of course, a lower life expectancy. Even now, in this era of aspirational equality, the cry will be heard: “Women and children first!” Take, for example, the terrible news of Boko Haram and the terrorists who kidnapped the girls.

Did you know that before this happened, those same terrorists had been kidnapping thousands of children and murdering hundreds of children and young people? Burned alive in their schools, shot in the streets. A situation that did not receive international attention until the terrorists turned their attention to the girls. And then first ladies, the media, celebrities and politicians are up in arms. But why only then? Why are boys' lives apparently valued so much less than girls'? Whoever has it worse, I disagree with the competitive victimhood ground of debate. It is fruitless; It is destructive. Women are encouraged to fear and distrust men, and men are more nervous and cautious in their interactions with women.

And worse still, resentful of a "patriarchy" label, which the vast majority do not recognize and who have their own challenges to face. We're already seeing some pretty worrying consequences of all this, like five times as many men are now less inclined to mentor women in the wake of Me Too. 75% of girls who have not yet experienced any type of discrimination speak of anxiety about it affecting their lives in some way. And working-class girls have been deprived of jobs they love, like Page 3 Girls and Grid Girls, because other women disapprove. What happened to "my body, my choice"?

Fine for Kim Kardashian, but not for a page 3 girl. And Me Too has ruined men's careers and reputations overnight. Some possibly with justice, but without due process, without innocence until proven otherwise. And where could all this lead? Do quotas raise questions about capacity? Was my recent MBE due to positive discrimination? Am I in this scenario for that reason? Should we ban flirting on campus and in the workplace? - by the way, two of the places where you are most likely to find a life partner. My company started hiring fewer women for lower-paying, entry-level positions in order to equalize the gender pay gap.

And if the ultimate goal is 50/50, shouldn't we then advocate for quotas for more men in the fields of nursing, teaching and veterinary sciences? More women on the front line, in construction, in garbage collection? And perhaps the three most important questions of all: Does power exist only in boardrooms and at the highest levels of politics and business? Or is there a possibility that it exists by choice? And you could say that women don't have more of that? Does equality of opportunity have to equal equality of results? And isn't it possibly the most patriarchal assumption of all that women need more support, protection and quotas in the workplace?

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think the women's movement has had its day or that there are no longer reasons for feminism. But I do think we need to reverse some of these negative trends. So here are three positive solutions, in my opinion. One: When it comes to girls, the best way to overcome prejudice is to build confidence and prove it wrong. We teach girls strength and resilience to call out prejudice in the moment. We celebrate successful women, presenting them as role models for both girls and boys, where arguably the impact can be greatest. And we don't always do it by complaining about minority representation.

And we celebrate the unique power that women have today in schools, homes, marriages, families and, yes, in business and politics, exerting immense influence on the hearts and minds of the future. Two: let's turn our attention to true gender equality, stop painting all men with the broad brush of oppressors and recognize that yes, there are bad and abusive men in this world, but there are also bad and fallible women. Unfortunately, we are all equally capable of inflicting misery on each other. And in a world where women can participate more equitably in the public sphere, we need to better level out the private for men in our homes and families.

And this is where we should reorient the debate. And three: we give more oxygen to the truly profound inequalities that still exist in this world, in developing countries, for women who cannot receive the same education, are forced into arranged marriages and cannot have access to contraceptive methods. . . Or here, socioeconomic and educational disadvantage. And the fact that hiring is still typically done on the basis of “people like me” poses a much bigger threat to corporate diversity than gender. And, above all, we listen to each other with an open mind. Play the ideological ball and not the player.

Be kind. That is why it is often said thatYou can't be what you can't see. No. It's not like that. Some of the most powerful figures in history have been something that didn't exist. Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on the bus, thus beginning the course of civil rights. Steven Hawking changed the world of science with his brain, regardless of his body weakness. Tommie Smith and John Carlos silently raised their fists on the podium at the '68 Olympics, calling attention to black rights. And Malala publicly stood up to his oppressors, and that earned him a platform from which he could educate the world.

They never believed that they couldn't. They never cried victim. They were strong, resilient and defiant. Just as a terrorist thrives on terror and a bully thrives on anguish, defiance and ridicule, even pity is a much stronger antidote to bad behavior than wounded insecurity. We need to stop thinking about gender as an identity. We have much more in common with those with whom we share values ​​and perspectives than chromosomes. Our gender, our race, our sexuality, our disability – they are all just part of the rich tapestry of who we are as individuals, and none of these things outside of our control should affect our perspective.

There are still a lot of inequalities in this world, but our individual right to self-confidence is a simple and universal possibility, and it is this that we must instill in our young people. Because it's not really my daughter that worries me in this vision of the new world; They are my children. But that will be fine. Because we will educate them to recognize their individual potential, so that they do not fall into victimhood and so that they see that the power they have at birth where and when they have it is one of choice. They will make everything their own and deeply respect other people's.

Thank you. Thank you so much. (Applause)