I Watched the Worst Movie on the Most Disliked Streaming Platform

new merch alert, yes that's right, new Curtis Town merch is now available, we have this cute and awesome t-shirt and a ton of other awesome pieces too, so check out my website, click the link in the description , okay guys, wait, what is that? sorry I totally forgot that's my uh that's my 10 variety comics to watch 2023 award. Damn that's crazy wow so yeah thanks everyone thanks variety thanks just for the laughs , it was amazing, okay folks, there have been a lot of

streaming

services over the years and what they lack in residual payments to writers and actors they make up for in terrible content.

I feel like of all the shows that

streaming

services release, only five percent of them are good and only one percent of them are good. After the first season, it's frustrating because streaming services were supposed to solve all the problems of cable TV, like the lack of freedom and flexibility of what you want to watch and the amount of ads, the high price. But as time went on, I feel like cable TV is probably cheaper than getting a monthly subscription to all these separate streaming services you know and some of these streaming services release episodes weekly just like cable TV and Also some of these streaming services have ads like cable TV, so what's the difference?

I just think these streaming services like Netflix Hulu have gone too far and I think it's time for a new streaming service to come out and take over the world and you know what that time is right now because I found a streaming service called real short and this is by far the

most

entertaining streaming service in the world for all the wrong reasons, although if you've never heard of real short that's not surprising, the only reason I discovered this is because one of you sent it to me and told me to make a video about it, that's the only way I know anything.

I sit by my phone and wait for you to tell me things, so thank you and very short, it's not like any other broadcast. service because very low is strictly vertical it should be called very high, but just by quickly scrolling through the application you will find your favorite

movie

s like my beautiful wife is an ex-convict. I wonder what it is about. My husband killed me and then I won. the Mega Ball I wonder what Big Bad Husband Please Wake Up is all about and who could forget everyone's favorite Big Bad Husband Please Wake Up two.

I'm like, hey, hey, man, if he hasn't woken up in two

movie

s, sorry for telling you. you, but I think your big bad husband is tired, but yeah, that's what a real short has to offer, a bunch of weird looking movies with really weird names that reveal the whole plot, you know, which is always a good idea when you're making a movie. for example, my favorite movie Bruce Willis Was Dead All The Time or that Brad Pitt fighting movie called Tyler isn't that good, but the intriguing thing about a real short is that you can't just watch the whole movie, each movie is divided . in 60 and that's 6-0 segment 60 minutes long, so each part is very short.

I guess on the app you can only watch a movie one scene at a time and then they do this cool thing at the end of each single scene where they make you pay real money or watch an ad before you can watch the next scene and some of these ads are longer than the episodes and we'll get to one of the movies in a second, but if you look at all the reviews on the App Store, every review complains about the scenes being too short and having to watch too many ads like this . A star.

I thought I would try this app because I saw a movie I might like. to watch it I was surprised how many times the show stops making you watch an ad to continue you can't see anything just before another ad I wouldn't recommend this app with the current programming it seems like there are more ads in the actual show is playing and here is a response from the developer Hello, you have 20 ads to unlock free episodes per day, each of them lasts between 5 and 45 seconds. Our team is working hard to improve the user experience. You can also earn free bonuses with the following ways once a day.

Record two viewing ads every day, you can replay the full series after unlocking all episodes. Many users like real short stories. Your higher score will give our team a big incentive, which is why their response to the complaint about ad frequency was "you." I tried to see ads every day, so the app is poorly designed and clearly trying to make the

most

money without considering the user experience, but what is the content like? Would you be surprised if I told you it's the best content I've ever seen? Of course it is, because it's not true, on the contrary, this is one of the

worst

I've ever seen, so I thought together we'd take a look at one of these movies today and which one we'll watch. it's called Faded My Forbidden Alpha here's the synopsis Faded My Forbidden Alpha is a werewolf romance that tells the story of forbidden love, the strength of the human spirit and the transformative power of love and there are some absolutely ridiculous things in this movie 60 parts, so buckle up, but before we talk about the movie, let's hear a few words from today's sponsor Dragon City Dragon City is a super fun game where you can create your own dragon empire by collecting hatchings and evolving more than 1000 unique dragons that you can build and customize your dream.

City with magical habitats, buildings and decorations, you can participate in exciting PvP battles with other Dragon Masters to prove your dragon strength and become the best Dragon master in the world and I am very excited about this because Dragon City put a special Curtis Dragon. in the game so everyone can play, look at him, he's so cute, he has a cool shirt, he has a mullet, a pearl necklace, a microphone, it's literally me, so if you are ready to embark on an adventure full of charming quests , ancient legends. and mythical creatures, then stop dragging and download Dragon City by simply clicking the link in the description by scanning the QR code that appears on the screen.

Once you do, you'll get a free special starter pack with 15,000 food, 30,000 gold, and 10 gems. and you can also play with Curtis Dragon. Many thanks to Dragon City for sponsoring this video. Seriously guys, go watch it, just click the link. Try it. It's free, it's a lot of fun and it helps me a lot. you check out the sponsors and it helps you because you will have a great time with a super fun game so yeah thanks Dragon City let's go back to the video the movie starts in this old castle where Tiffany and yeah that's Tiffany with an N before of the F, Tiffany is making out with this guy named Jackson, he is the alpha of the Blood Moon pack, they are interrupted by Celine Lovett, the maid of the Blood Moon pack, and Tiffany high fives him.

Celine then threatens to leave when Jackson says you're homeless, no, he'll be a rogue, you don't even have your wolf yet, so yeah, in the Universe of this movie, when you turn 18, you get your own wolf. I don't think it's like a physical wolf, it's more. of like a spiritual wolf I guess on all levels except physical, you get a wolf. Now we cut to this guy. Ethel loves it and is yelling at this other guy named Alexander Kane and they are both Alphas in his packs. Don't know. I know what exactly these packs do, but they call themselves Alphas, that's cool.

Alexander Kane is the alpha of the Nightwind pack, which is annoying because I thought I was the alpha of the Nightwind pack. He farts on me in my sleep all the time and spoiler alert. Ethel Love It Is Celine loves her father. I don't think we're supposed to know that plot twist yet, but they kind of gave it away by spelling out everyone's full name when the character is introduced and I know they know because later on. the movie Celine says she doesn't have a last name I don't really have a last name but anyway Ethel is yelling at Alexander because Jackson in the Blood Moon pack attacked her pack like 15 years ago and kidnapped his daughter, it was Blood Moon .

Some bastards attacked my pack 15 years ago and my poor daughter disappeared, so she wants Alexander to go to war with the Blood Moon pack. My offer. I arrived as soon as I heard. Are you sure you want to start a war with a Blood Moon pack? Yes Yes. You were also wondering if there were beta kids in this movie. One of the main characters' names is Beta Drake and you know, I really hope he knew that was his character's name while he was filming the movie. You know, it would be shit to find him. that after the fact Alexander you're the guy look this is my scene oh no way what's your character's name oh my character's name is Drake you know I don't want to talk too soon but I feel like this could be my big break oh My God, you won't be able to, my Alpha, I came as soon as I heard it, are you sure you want to start a world? wait, why does it say beta Drake, that's not my character's name, they can't do it, I'm broke right? cry, that's pretty bad, no, I'm not crying, you're crying, open my IMDb, this has to be a typo or something, I'm sure you're not going to like this, let me see, it says that the full name of my character is beta cuck Tiny Dick Cry.

Baby Drake Jr, that was a typo so the other strange thing about this movie and the actual short app in general is that it all looks a lot like softcore porn and the worrying thing about that is that this app didn't let me check my La age or something is available to anyone who has access to the App Store because in the next scene Celine walks in having sex while blindfolded. Obviously I won't show it, but it's quite alarming and what's even more alarming. this app has some kind of page for you where you can scroll and see previews of other movies they have available and one of these previews shows a trigger warning here for assault but one of the previews shows a man trying to have sex with a woman who is asleep, I'm not going to show that either, but the reason I had to film the screen like a Ransom video is because every time you try to record your screen when you're using the app popup cuts real, a legal threat appears. action if you distribute content anywhere so wow they don't know I got this video from YouTube and also this falls under fair use so yeah after Celine walks over Jackson gets mad at Celine for not Call him alpha, why don't you call?

Me Alpha, which has to be the least Alpha thing you can do well, why don't you call me an elephant? So yeah, Jackson and Tiffany are having an engagement party and Jackson finds out that Alexander Kane is coming and he tells Celine that she has to work the entire party. It's my 18th birthday that day. You promised me a break. You should have called him. Alpha. I should have. called whoa is that's what that song is about and right after that scene is when the movie reveals another big plot point Prematurely point out that in the Universe of this movie there is a Moon Goddess who controls everything and the Moon Goddess actually matches people as life-long partners and you are only allowed to mate with that person the moon goddess paired you with and apparently Jackson is Celine's partner. she'll find out I'm her partner when she turns 18 and I'll reject her at that point well that'll break her you're fired beta Luke this is the world Andrew Tate wants to live in I think beta Luke him Watch this movie and I don't see a problem with her.

I think he would be dripping all over his little shorts and introduce a young woman being held against his will. This is what he likes, so he cut to Celine waking up in the morning. on her 18th birthday and dude I just have to say I'm really confused about the time period this takes place because they live in a medieval castle, Celine is dressed like a medieval maiden, there are like mystical wolves and she also has a phone Foldable, I know. Flip phones are old, but they're not that old. I think things would have been a little different if they had flip phones in medieval times, trust me, they'd be fine mate this is cool, they'll have no idea when we get out of here and we start swinging our swords, they're going to be like what Damn, dude, turn off your phone, dude, what are you doing with your cell phone?

Sorry, sorry, one second, one second, oh, hello, text me, think we should Understand, can you talk right now? I'm on the Trojan horse. There's no way they'd be that surprised. I know you will be so surprised. Dude hang up what man, sorry I didn't think I'd have service. Here is a wooden horse man, how can you leave your phone at home? Oh he's fine, yeah you just want me to stopmy phone at home, listen to yourself, man, they are setting us on fire, after all this they will name the condoms. Right, it's Celine's 18th birthday, let's see if they give her a wolf, happy birthday, why wolf?

Lila, you're here, you're my woman, my wolf, Lila, you're here, you're my wolf, yeah, dude, it looks so bad, dude, oh my god. The wolf literally looks like a character talking on Star Fox 64. Anyway, let's send in the all-plane report, see what this wolf has to say, so Jackson confronts Celine and rejects her as his mate. I reject it, Mr. rejection, and a magic red thread. dissolves between them and then immediately gets angry for some reason I accept your rejection Jackson You are what you will never be again I hate you okay you're breaking my heart yeah Alexander Kane comes to the party and This is the first time he's seen to Celine and judging by the slow motion and the good music, I think they like each other and then Alexander tells Beta Drake that she is his partner, that girl from before, she is my partner, find out who she is, which he doesn't . no senseBecause they made a big deal to only have one partner for the rest of your life, you will never be successful again and Celine was rejected by her only partner, Jackson.

I reject you, so how can she be Alexander's partner? Beta Checkmate Drake confronts Celine. to know more about her please my birthday already sucks it's her birthday and also saying Beta Drake makes me think about how funny it would be if there was a music artist named Beta Drake and it was the exact same music as Drake but still . Shy and really weak beta man, you know, 21. Can I do something for you? In the next scene, Jackson is trying to connect Alexander with one of the wolves that live in the castle, which, again, how is that possible when you only have one? partner assigned to you by the moon goddess, but regardless he continues to tell them that he has a crush on Celine from before, so now Celine is sitting in her room talking to her wolf about how nervous she is to meet Alexander and This is when his wolf tells him some crazy news, entertains Ed, wait, but we accept Jackson's rejection, that's what I'm saying, oh god, I'm sorry, whatever it is, I'm sure they'll explain it later in the movie , so it makes sense that they don't.

So yeah, Celine heads to Alexander's room and this scene is very strange, triggering an assault warning again. She laughs. Alexander Ewe Jackson. Yeah, I don't know why this app keeps including these super predatory situations in their videos, but it's super, so it's a big altercation and Alexander chimes in with a really good Liam Payne impression, don't touch her if you lay another finger on my partner. . I'll make sure you live the rest of your life without it. Alexander takes Celine away and assures her that he's I'm going to take care of her now, I'm going to take care of you now and hey, I'll say it, she just turned 18.

Alexander is like 25 years old at least, what's weird is that what they mean when they call wolves top predators, wolves are like in Discord Teens are fine, this next scene doesn't make sense either because Jackson is making out with Tiffany and accidentally calls her Celine, which is crazy because Tiffany is a name you would never forget. He then goes on to explain that he's been in love with Celine for years, I've always loved you, so yeah, there's a major problem right there or I guess it's a minor problem, you think it's all blame and victim blaming.

On Celine, which is actually an incredibly accurate description of how self-proclaimed alpha males behave. around the women and then Alexander comes in with a good fist bump, then they go back to Alexander's house and they're about to, you know, fight and then she stops because she needs to take a shower, I need to take a shower and it's super fun because they. I've made several references so far about how dirty and disgusting Celine is, she never really showers and stuff and she doesn't even shower properly for the cold, left for the heat, that's the shampoo, conditioner, body wash, a You call that a shower and at the same time have a complete shower.

Makeup face made with soft and silky hair. They both have separate conversations with their respective wolves and friend. I am so confused by the concept of this. Are these wolves? Is it the wolves within them? Do they have that dog inside? I don't know or it's like a completely sentient physical wolf or it's just like a spectral wolf or like that Sniper Wolf like who I don't know, right? I suck if the wolf you got for your 18th birthday was Sniper Wolf, hey Sniperwolf. I'm super stressed, can you give me an original thought or opinion? Just have sex that night.

Damn, but the next morning, Celine meets Alexander's sister and asks her some super weird questions. How is Alexander? Nice to meet you. I've heard a lot of rumors about my brother's sex life, so I have to ask you if you had a night, brother. You may be wondering what Alexander Kane does to be able to afford this luxurious lifestyle. You know he has nice cars, a nice house, he's well groomed, I'm sorry. a barber, well, don't ask me anymore, Alexander founded Wolf Bite, one of the largest crypto startups in the states. He can afford everything. I do not know about that.

Also this could be a personal thing, but I feel like if your movie has a castle, don't do it. Don't use the word crypto, those things don't mix, okay? I don't think medieval knights wore blockchain male armor. I'm not sad about the joke I just made. I was just thinking about the pay gap, so there's a lot more going on. In the film, Jackson invites Celine to return to the castle because she has information about her parents. Damn, Jackson just tell me I'll do it if you come back and I just have to say that watching this movie from start to finish was one of the most challenging things.

What I've ever done in my life is so boring and stupid and hard to watch and I think the main reason for this is that everything is vertical, like Quibby, so we know that as a society likes long form content . It doesn't really work in portrait format, it's all good, but as you know, some things are better in landscape, you know, you know what I'm saying, open casket funerals, imagine the casket was standing up, man, that would be terrifying, you see, okay, later. I guess the movie Celine and Alexander finally put it on doggy style and Alexander engages in some stellar pillow talk, hey, random, but do you remember anything about your parents?

Jesus, sorry for making you call me dad, it must have been weird because I don't have one anyway. Alexander gets a phone call and then does his best Millie Bobby Brown impression. I have to go meet Drake and then Celine goes back to the castle to confront Jackson about his parents and this scene is hilarious because Jackson opens the door to his castle, which is supposed to be hidden like in the middle of a forest, my castle is hidden deep in the woods and when you open the door you can see traffic signs like those on a suburban house and parked cars, which somehow puts gentrification into perspective, you know it sucks that people keep building these Huge ugly modern houses everywhere, but can you imagine if someone like the other side of the street built a huge medieval style castle with a moat, a drawbridge and archers and whatnot?

It would be scary, you know you would wake up in the middle of the night in your neighbor's castle. He's being assaulted by an angry mob of goblins, so you have to get out of bed, put on your enchanted armor, draw your cursed sword, and run at full speed. speed towards the Goblins cutting them to pieces as the castle gates chant your name Curtis Curtis Curtis and then when you finally swipe the last Goblin's Throne he's on the ground drowning in his own blood and says "Hey, I'm so scared" . I'm going to heaven and you say no, you know, so yeah, anyway Celine confronts Jackson and he tells his parents the truth.

My parents took you from Red Dog's pack when we attacked your souvenir and it's crazy because when you take everything away like beta Alpha like wolf terminology just described a mass murder slash kidnapping these are crimes okay I feel like yeah a normal person had to spend a day with these people they would go crazy Alpha Jackson will be banished from the wolf pack peace treaty if he keeps this up what are you talking about? Although my wolf is quite upset with me, the Wolf Moon Goddess will be the final judge after this movie assigns me a new partner.

Yes, I'm a wolf and my crypto startup is pretty epic, so while Celine and Jackson are having this little talk Alexander and Beta Drake are having a meeting of their own and that's when Alexander says something pretty intriguing. I don't censure Alpha blood, but she is also too young on the contrary, she is also too young, she is too young, meanwhile you say interesting. Selena ends up being poisoned by Tiffany and passes out and that's when something crazy, impossible, okay, horrible CGI aside happens. I guess they are the wolves and they also turn into wolves, but they can also talk to the wolf, so the wolf has the wolf.

I have that human I don't know I don't understand I don't understand it well I don't understand it so Celine ends up in a coma and wakes up a few weeks later and in that time Alexander has apparently waged war against the blood moon pack. Alexander went crazy on the blood moon and led Nightwing's entire army to attack the day you were admitted he apparently killed everyone except Jackson who is very seriously injured so we are getting Close to the end now I promise Alexander takes Celine to meet her birth parents and then out of nowhere we discover that she can read minds.

They will have to answer for kidnapping the future Alpha of Red Dawn. I want to undress Celine. Celine, let's make sure they pay for what they did to you right here, okay, okay, so yeah, I don't know where that came from, but I guess now you can read minds in the last 10 minutes of the movie Her gets the ability to read minds read this I want to kill a goblin guy I'll say it adding random superpowers isn't cool man it's never been cool like remember when you were a kid and you're like play fighting with the annoying guy on your street and then you clearly hit him with your sword and he says, "I can see the future," so I knew you were going to hit me and I dodged it and it's like no, you can't see the future, Eric, if you could.

You wouldn't have cried so much when your parents divorced, so the movie ends with Celine confronting Jackson and the Blood Moon Pack. That's why I came here today to make sure no one tells a lie again. I proposed a Tiffany banished from the community to live as a rogue forever okay, yeah that's the punishment, it's banishing them from the community, man, this talking about community, it actually reminds me of that episode of the community, leads to this man to infinity Eternal ice maze, yeah, take him to the police he murdered someone, it's the same man, these are war criminals, put them in jail, don't force them to live like a rebellious guy, that's not a punishment, It sounds rude if I'm honest, but alas, Tiffany and Jackson are banished.

I love you Celine Celine and Jackson get married and live humbly, so yeah, that faded into my forbidden Alpha. I don't think we need more vertical films. Well as far as I'm concerned there is already one amazing vertical movie and that is mvp2. vertical Prime and it's one thing to make a shitty vertical movie, but have the gall to split said shitty vertical movie into 60 minute long chunks and then force people to watch a minute long ad in between each chunk. I'm not a math genius, but that's equal parts movie and commercial, that's crazy dude, so in conclusion, very short, more like a real shark, stinks of poop and farts, smells like a genius, yeah , that's it, hit the like button if you enjoyed it, uh, because believe it or not, a like equals a leprechaun. what will i kill leave a comment let me know what you think and also hit the subscribe button check out the new merch check out my podcast that's all good thank you so much and once again thank you to Dragon City for sponsoring this video make sure to click the link on the description or scan the QR code on the screen to download Dragon City for free today to get your free starter pack and play with that character again, okay, that's it.

I would stay, but unfortunately I have to go listen. to Shakira I's wolf