How people get the good jobs | Taylor Doe | TEDxOklahomaCity

foreigner, let me take you back to February 14, 2016. On Valentine's Day, a group of young men I mentor and I were in town spreading kindness one drive-thru at a time and every year we rented tuxedos and a limo and Distributed cards, chocolates and roses to women who work in fast food restaurants on Valentine's Day. Their acts of kindness landed them on the cover of Oklahoma's largest newspaper and Big Brothers, if you get the chance to be on the cover. Always and without exception, throw rabbit ears at your little brother. These guys are hilarious, but I want to give you a little history.

I met these guys when they were eight, they're 18 now and I met them when I was working. in northeast Oklahoma City schools it is known as the east side and a decade ago I moved to the east side to be closer to families and students and just be in the mix and these guys quickly became like nephews to me, the east side is predominately black predominantly low income and when the news shows a group of young black men there is usually a mug shot next but on valentine's day when the news shows a group of young black men they are using tuxedo and let me tell you about tuxedos when you wear a tuxedo you feel like a million dollars The way you walk changes the way you dance changes the things you talk about change and that's why in the back of that limo we talk business and fake businesses and making

good

money and these guys knew what I did at work, they knew I had a

good

job, they knew I made good money, I explained to them that there are

jobs

that have benefits and that they can actually pay you for taking some time off from the PTO and I explained to them about the actions they could participate in. owners and companies and they knew that I took a plane to go to different cities and they paid me to ride in the back of that limousine that night Demarion asked me a question that I will never forget, he said Tito, that's my nickname, Tito, he said, I want one of the good

jobs

when I'm older, how do

people

get the good jobs?

And I froze, luckily Burger King saved me. We stopped at our next place, the boys grabbed their roses, their chocolates, we jumped and when we started talking again. had changed, we went to a few more restaurants, left him and I was sitting in the back of a limo dressed in a tuxedo, alone, not thinking about how incredibly single I was on Valentine's Day, which is true, I was thinking in the American dream. because what Demarion asked me in the back of that limousine was what are the keys to success in America, like how can I make good money for my family and achieve these dreams that you know, really know, he was asking what the Social scientists call social mobility. the ability to move up the socioeconomic ladder makes it better than what your parents do, so that night in that limo, Demarion's question became my question: how do

people

get good jobs?

How do you get to where they are? are you?, and that's how I started. I researched and interviewed people who are among the top 20 highest earners in America and I'm not talking about the Uber super rich, the top one percent. I'm talking about American bankers, engineers, mid-level managers and corporate people with good jobs and so I want to show you a series of three interviews and I want you to see if you can find some kind of common thread that runs through all of these. Well, one of my first interviews I did was with Stacy, she said she was a school teacher and then I worked hard and got a job at Corporate America.

I interviewed Rebecca and she said that she worked hard to get through college and then she got an internship that turned into a full-time job at this PR firm and then I interviewed Trevor. and she said that she quit her job and then worked hard to start her own business, so what's the kind of common thread you see here? Hard work is definitely the key to success in America, but that's not the most interesting or fascinating thing there is. I discovered that there was something else that was hidden in plain sight, it was there, but you had to do a little research and the keys to success were hidden behind this phrase, this phrase that appeared in each of them. from my interviews and then let me remind you in case you missed it.

Stacy said she was a school teacher and then worked hard and got a job at Corporate America, but what she didn't initially say until we started digging was that the parents of one of her former students worked at that company and got her that job. What about Rebecca? Rebecca worked hard and graduated from college and got this internship, but what she didn't initially say was that her college boyfriend, her father, was the general manager at that place. PR firm and helped her get that job, what about Trevor? Trevor built this successful business, but what he didn't initially say was that his in-laws own a rental property and allowed him and his wife to live for 10 months for free while they grew the Business I call them moments and then moments and then moments and then moments They are people who unlock resources, knowledge and opportunities for you to do what you want to do, which is why I had the opportunity to interview my superhero in his and then moments before he passed away.

I went with my grandfather, so he drove to Illinois, and we sat on the back porch and had the same old conversation. I've heard a story hundreds of times, but now I'm interviewing her on the record, so he started and said, Tay, that's my other nickname, Tay said. I grew up poor in Fort Wayne Indiana. I went to elementary school and then I started a paper route and then I worked at this grocery store and then I got a good job at the Tokim gas pump factory and they paid me. enough that I could actually afford to go to college and not have to work during the semester.

I said, okay, grandpa, let's go back, like how did you get your first bike to start your paper route? and he said, well, now that I think about it, my my uncle gave me my first bike, okay, how did you get a job at the grocery store? It was like that was nothing, it was a neighborhood grocery store, the owner lived in the neighborhood, he just hired us kids and we put coupons on the door. Okay, tell me about the good work, how did you get that? You applied, you have a resume, what he said, no, the next door neighbor was the hiring manager and we didn't have enough money for me to have a car, so he would do it.

I actually traveled with him to and from work. I said okay, so I did some more research and found the 1940 census and found the name of my grandfather's neighbor, Ray Simmons. Ray Simmons. I had never heard this man's name in my life and he was a defining moment for my grandfather. I don't think I left this out intentionally. I think it's the way we tell our stories in America that we leave out these crucial details. Ray Simmons was a defining moment for my grandfather. and I realized that through relationships relationships unlock opportunities so I'm thinking back and the question is what happens when you don't have access to those relationships so I did a little more research and found out that because of the practices of exclusive housing.

In Fort Wayne, Indiana, black and brown people couldn't live in my grandfather's neighborhood, so now I think about Marion, the limousine, and her great-grandfather. No matter how hard he worked, if he lived in Fort Wayne. Indiana, he's not getting this job, he can't live in the same neighborhood. My grandfather had opportunities that black and brown people did not have. My grandfather had a key to unlock opportunity. In the name of that key, Ray Simmons, this is an idea I call locked. opportunities that you don't have a chance unless you're in a relationship and these keys are relationships, so I want to take you back to Rebecca's story, remember she got the job at the PR firm, her boyfriend's father, all that time later in that interview.

She shared a story and said she was out for lunch at an intern lunch and the 10 of us were around the table and one of the girls next to me slipped up and said her dad worked with Brandon and that's how she got a work and then one of the other interns said well, I worked with Catherine and Catherine knew Doug and this is how I'm here and they went around the table altogether. The 10 interns had similar story relationships a little later in that interview, Rebecca said that I got a full time job there and I didn't find out until I got there that no one gets a full time offer unless they do an internship, that It's a blocked opportunity if you don't know someone.

One more story. I was interviewing an executive, their company makes a hundred million dollars more in revenue, they have 70 to 80 employees, it's an amazing place to work and I ended the interview and said, Hey, can I interview your employees about how they got here and he? I'm sure he can interview any of my employees, but I'll save him a lot of time. One hundred percent of our employees who work here knew someone who worked here before they got the job here. That is a blocked opportunity. I continue on and on in my research opportunity is unlocked through relationships and this is the deal in America we all face closed doors I face them you face them the person to your right faces them and it's not really about closed doors but about how many keys you have to get through these doors and The reality is that in the United States people are born with a drastically different number of keys and I discovered this when I moved to the east side and saw how few keys the children had in their pockets and it was surprising to see how many keys I had. in my pocket because I looked at Demarion I said I see myself in this in this kid he's hardworking he's fun loving all these things I just didn't see the access I didn't see the connections he had to good social opportunities Scientists have a name for this connection economic: they are the relationships or friendships between the rich and the poor and Raj Chetty, who is a social scientist and an economist at Harvard, presented a surprising study that says that the richer the poor know, the greater the mobility.

The better things are for them, the better things are for us when we are connected, but what is also a reality is that we live in a very segregated society even by class and race, people with good jobs live and work with people with good jobs. o Another way to say it is as if high key people live and work with high key people and low key people, they live and work with low key people and because our cities are relationally isolated, opportunities are silent , we believe in America. that we are playing this opportunity as a zero sum game, what does that mean?

It means that for me to win you must lose for you to win I must lose and that's why we walk with this bowl of keys and everyone. Every time I give a key, I have one less key and if I give too many of these keys, I could reach zero, but the opportunity in the United States is actually the opposite. Opportunity in America is compounded when you start a new job and you have 50 new employees 50 new keys when you walk into the country club new keys when your kid starts cheering competitively and you're sitting in the stands with other parents new keys and when you hand out these keys you are actually getting more keys and then The moments are not a zero sum game and then the moments compound and then what do we do?

What is our next step? Well, I was doing executive training for a company, a big insurance company, and then moments and I'm getting close to the end, I ask. if someone wants to share their moments and then it was like everyone was frozen in their seats and I was sitting there and one person has the courage to get up and share their moments and then another and then another in another in In another we go from a freezing room to a completely lit room and then moments like Avalanche, like I had to slow down and stop it because we were running out of time and I wanted to give the CEO the last word and he stood up and said while reflecting on the people who told me They have provided opportunities.

Names I like that I haven't thought of in a long time. They have made me want to unlock opportunities for other people who need them. What happened in that room. The day someone had the courage and vulnerability to share their story and that vulnerability fosters other vulnerabilities, people start sharing the truest parts of their story that we often leave out, so I want to be the first to start this and then Avalanche moments my name. is Taylor Doe I grew up in Bartlesville Oklahoma and then I went to the University of Oklahoma and then I got a good job at Sandwich Energy and then I started a tech company with my brother, but what I didn't tell you and I need to What I want to tell you isthat my parents could afford me to go to college and I had a roommate and his name was Daniel and Daniel's mom was a senior vice president at I guess where Sanders Energy and I got this great internship that turned into a great job that gave me It allowed me to be on the east side and work with kids and all that and then, and then, and then, because I've been given so generously, I want to give generously, so let me leave you with a double challenge: the first, be generous with your keys. be generous with your keys to people who have historically been excluded and the second be generous with your story be generous with your story complete your moments and then let your children know the names of the people who help you reach where it stands when you're at the bar and you talk about success, name the people who helped you get there because when we are most vulnerable with each other, collectively with humility we can create a more truthful narrative in America and then moments have the power to change companies and organizations. and cities and I want to leave you with this, more people will prosper because of your generosity in telling stories in the doors that you open, thank you.