HOW to DETACH. Detachment IS the game changer.

If you are someone who has attachment to people, especially anxious attachment, I guess this video will be very helpful,

detach

ment will be your most powerful tool. I think my story, at its core, is before I learned the art and power of

detach

ment. It was like a piece of log in the ocean where it could be tossed back and forth depending on how someone else felt or what was happening now. Detachment is not and I will talk about this later ignoring or completely ignoring your feelings, but it is often talked about ideas in your life that you really wanted to happen, like getting married, having children, things that you can't control, essentially, no.

You can control which partner you meet and, furthermore, you cannot control what that person does. the conscious recognition that you can't control other people and that you will go crazy if you try, you can't do it, so try to do it, try to check his phone and try to check his messages and try to drive yourself crazy with the idea. of control you are actually hurting yourself, you cannot and will not find safety in trying to control another human being or an outcome and that is what you are looking for. If you are anxious in life, you are looking for stability. a grounding and you won't find it in them, you will find it in you, so you need to create a temple space in your own reality that remains as a kind of stationary threshold in which everything around you is something pleasant and a beautiful addition to the cake that is you and it can knock you down, sure things can knock the cake down, think it can make it wobble, you know what I mean, things can hurt you and that doesn't mean you are bionic or robotic, but the texture and quality of you will not change because this external thing is not an ingredient that makes the cake, it is simply something external, it is not part of the ingredients.

I think the last thing I want to say before we get into how to use it and what it means to be a story is that when you perfect the art of

detachment

you can begin to infuse light and gratitude into things that we don't normally feel gratitude for. Now I feel very grateful for my ex who cheated on me, it's a distant memory. to me because this was over 10 years ago, but it's definitely something that I want to share with you because I think it will help you in the process of understanding, sometimes when you're a person who comes from an anxious attachment or you're a woman women often they want to make things work and fix them and attach ideas and concepts to people that we'll hone like a missile to make something work and sometimes we'll even find a guy like I guess I did who isn't exactly into you or such.

Maybe they are, but not so much, where they are going to invest their life in you and we just decided that that is the person for us, like do or die, that's what I'm going to decide and I think I did, that there were a lot of signs. where I shouldn't have been in that relationship, we can get into another video or by the way, I'm starting a podcast so we can have our deeper meanings in there, leave me any comments what you want talked about in the podcast because it's going to be a little more intimate, but all the signs were there, sometimes when people have a great attachment to people, things or concepts, what happened to me is that he cheated on me and you know why, that is an incredible blessing now I'm coming from the angle of

detachment

because if I didn't have something that hit me in the face like something that completely broke my boundaries, that's cheating, I wouldn't have left it, people like us just stay and work things out even though be unpleasant because We are almost blind to the fact that we are here to live a life and the quality of it must be amazing.

The man needs to add something to your life. You don't need to fight like a mule up the hill of life with him. on your back doing nothing why were you born to carry this man with you or this woman if you are a real man seeing this um to your detriment and sometimes I feel like now it comes from the concept of Detachment in which was the world God Universe ? You hit me in the face and I said to myself: stop it, you are not going to be attached to this person, the only thing that could have made me quit that habit and yes, we are going to work on this, we are going to try hard. let's do this let's do this water with lemon try it amazing for you it's this system switch and you almost have to realize that I say this often to people who talk to me and who check their partner's phone Wouldn't you rather break up from the concept of them as if you have to love them, but wouldn't you rather separate yourself from the concept that they are the beginning and the end of your life as if without them you would fall apart?

You are one hundred percent of a person You are not 50 50 You are not an apple that comes together You are two apples that form a fruit bowl Okay, wouldn't you rather get away from that because you know what not? You prefer to live your life beautifully now without going through your phone. Why are you using that phone? I know why people do it because they are so terrified that they want to find out. You want to know now because you're attached to the idea of ​​what. This partner brings and wants to make sure that they have made the right decision because the reality of that partner and how they see you and what they are doing is very important and of course I am human.

I struggle with this too, not the phone. checking I can't even begin to tell you how useless this practice is because if you want to find something, you will find it and that doesn't mean that everyone cheats and all men cheat, there is no such thing as everyone, there is no such thing as everyone, it can't be . and everyone, this is what happens if you want to find something, you will if your thinking is based on that person being the be all and end all of you and you finding something that they did wrong, said wrong, breathed wrong.

It could have been in the past honey, you know it could be in the past, it could be something, you will find it if you want to end your relationship, if you are convinced that person is somehow wrong with you, you will find something number one and you will number two, you are orchestrating your relationship in a way that you are cornering that person, you are thinking badly of them and the way to make a person do good to you is to talk to them as if they were, but that is a completely different video, so I attach what It's attachment essentially means the ability to separate yourself your entity your being the cake that you are from a person or a goal it doesn't mean coldness it doesn't mean you don't care it doesn't mean "you" If you are robotic or some kind of psychopath it simply means that you have a deep root and a deep knowledge that you can weather the storms and that you are your own entity and your own being and that you have your own blessings and your own path to travel and just like me.

I said before about the cheating fiasco, you can look back and say wow, this happened to me, so I can move on to better things, this happened to me because if this didn't happen to me, I'd still be trying to do it. work and who wants it. that the reason it is important to cultivate detachment is because the more you detach yourself from people or outcomes, the more you hone who you are as a person, the more you know yourself, the more you trust your own personal power, and the more you feel . You have something to come back to.

It's like creating a best friend out of yourself. It's like cultivating something that is so strong and powerful and that essentially arises from anxious attachment. Reduces anxiety greatly. Why do we feel anxious? anxious and like we were dependent on someone because in our childhood some needs were not met obviously our father was absent our mother was not available um someone said something some experience at school whatever it could be something happened where we realized that we had We have an understanding of people's attention and people's time and people's opinion of us and outside of that we can't separate ourselves from the ideas that people have about us you know that question of oh, what does he think? from my?

Does he think I'm cute? Like me, does it matter? Does it matter? It will develop as it develops. Detachment also allows you as a woman to not chase people, it allows you to lean back into your natural self and understand that the person you are attracted to will be attracted to you. It also allows you to not disappear into the ether of nothingness because often when we are so attached to people and things we start to emulate what we think they like and I don't know if you've ever been around a person who tries to say yes yes what is your favorite color red me to get to know you my favorite colors red you stop seeing who they are because they are not a developed human being and in Psychology one of the first Rules of Attraction is that that person is deeply themselves in fact there is a theory , I don't remember the name, but if someone tells you that they love chocolate cake and that's what they like the most, you shouldn't rush to make that chocolate cake, you should say oh, I like cheesecake, you should say whatever you want. like it and give them the best cheesecake you've ever made, you shouldn't rush to fit into the paradigms of their reality just because they love chocolate cake and their mom made the best one, you should say, but I'm here to bring blueberries.

I am here to bring you cheesecake and it will be the best cheesecake you have ever had, but how can you discover your reality if you are always attached to other people's reality and act in the circus like the monkey that is their reality? Get lost and then you will realize that you are replaceable because most human beings on this Earth are attached to people and results, so the way to become irresistible and irreplaceable is to detach yourself and say: hey, this is me, This is my world. it's MySpace and I'm fine, it will significantly reduce your anxiety, there are even exciting moments and it's very exciting, it's interesting because anxiety and excitement intersect sometimes, you know, if you feel the sensation, it's something similar, um, only one is expensive . and positive and one is negative, there are times when I practice it where I want to know where a certain person is or why they haven't responded and you can just sit with yourself and say, "wow, what will really happen if they don't?" ?

I don't answer like what will really happen if they don't like me. I expect nothing. I expect nothing. The only time I see that Detachment not being deployable is when it's a loved one and they've disappeared, you know what I mean? As if they hadn't answered you, I understand that we are all human, it is not a lack of emotion, I am sure you know that. Detachment could literally save your life or at least it could save your sanity and ironically get you where you want to go. There are many ways to have this conversation and perhaps it will go on over several videos, but essentially detachment is the law of assumption, it is the law of attraction, it is everything, it is taking care of yourself first and letting others. others take responsibility for themselves without trying to punish them. them or trying to control them then it's taking care of yourself first.

I'm just trying to repeat that so that you really hear it without taking responsibility for others so that they can do what they have to do because you are born the way you are and are. here, like you and you literally have no control over other people, you have an illusion of control, maybe an illusion of control because you know that's what we're bombarded with, they tell us all the time, you know, do this to affect that person or when you get married or when you get this job you will feel that way about yourself, but really it's just a recipe for going crazy.

Detachment can help you control your reality without letting it control you. You can literally decide to control what is in your control and let go of the things you can't. It is the knowledge of knowing that you are enough in this current existence and that there is something outside of you and predominantly for all who will listen. I think it's a person outside of themselves. not necessarily a job or an achievement or a piece of structure or something like that it's a person outside of you that can't complete you and can't create a sense of happiness that you feel like you're missing in your life you're not missing that you have it all inside you that you currently need to create your reality because if you want to be happy, whether it's external things, you don't need to be able to control yourself, it's about the knowledge that it's about the journey, not about the destination, that there is no goal or not. person or any family about a marriage you may have that will truly define you and it's hard to believe when you haven't gotten there yet, but a lot of times when people get to their destination I'm sure you've heard celebrities talk. that or people who are successful say wow at the end of the day I wake up with me the same as always and I'm not saying that material things or a relationship or marriage isn't amazing, it's amazing and Many of my other videos are about that but I'll say if you learn Detachment, I'll get to that in a minute, how to do it, where to do it, how to implement it, and how to perfect it.

If you use it, ironically you can attract. all the right things in your life because the desperate energy you display when you do not detach yourself when you are totally attached to ideas and people is what will often push those people and ideas away from you. You see what I mean, nothing has happened. to be as you imagined everything perfect plus Detachment will give your partner the freedom to approach you if you are not detached from ideas, people and situations, you are often trying to control them all. the result people feel that peopleThey are energetic beings They feel that their life and purpose are based on their actions and reactions How they can be free to be themselves Things they can do to practice Detachment is meditation Visualization Journaling You know all that I'm sure if you're watching In this video you will have heard about them writing down the reality of your life and how you want it to be, even when there are people involved.

I'm sure you can engage them, but by writing a reality and visualizations. of who you want to be a self-concept, becoming very obsessed with the idea of ​​where you are going and who you are. I guess we just discussed this, so it's about the idea of ​​who am I growing if I'm a vegetable, how am I growing what vegetable am I? And you know what I mean. I don't know why that vegetable metaphor comes to mind, but it's more like, you know people pride themselves on growing the biggest cucumber at the fair or whatever. Are you your own project?

You need to become as obsessed as you are with other people about yourself to hang the concept of self-worth on your own ideas, on your own visualizations of yourself and not on them, because if you're sitting there and constantly focusing on when he's going to propose, has nothing to propose because you have become a mirror of their expectations, another is cognitive reframing and you just saw me do an example of it, it could have been like oh, I've been fooled, I'm not worth it, people don't like me. myself, why would anyone do that? I don't have those thoughts at that moment, I might have had some kind of thoughts like that, but I don't even remember it to be honest because I have cognitively reframed it.

You need to write down all the ideas you have about yourself, especially when someone doesn't respond to you or someone doesn't fit into your paradigm of reality. You need to detach yourself. You need to write everything down. the scary thoughts that you have like it's not fair or I don't like this or it doesn't apply to me because they don't like it, I need to reframe it, this is a great opportunity because if this person cheats on me, I won't do it. I have wasted my time with them, this is a great opportunity because now, sooner rather than later, when I am married and have children, I will be able to see that this person is not for me, thank you Lord Universe, whoever you believe in, for showing me a cognitive reframing former. take a look at what it means is the ability to control the framework in which an idea is placed, every idea can be truly reframed, it can be tried.

I think another thing to talk about when it comes to detachment is to detach not from people but from yourself. My own thoughts too I think after having my son you often have intrusive thoughts um like oh no what if this happens what if that happens? You get very intense about your safety and all that stuff and I read it in a book once you know. It's the old saying about being like water, my friend and Bruce Lee, that when you feel your emotions and the ideas that come to you, You are not standing in the river of your emotions, but you are getting out of it. the river and you look at the water and you look at them right, so I started observing my thoughts of like oh no, what if something happens, what if this chair falls, what if that thing happens, if there are moms here, I'm I'm sure I'll tell you that you know you had those thoughts, it's very common.

I read in a book where I was discussing postpartum psychology, a person talked about how you know she was always afraid when she carried her son down the stairs that she would drop them and the only thing that helped her mind change was when they stood on the stairs. stairs and almost like a meditation and we were fine, what if that happens? Take that brain from me, let's do this like you're afraid of the brain because I want to protect myself but I'm here and I'm willing to watch you and meditate through this. I'm willing to weather this storm and I think mine only subsided when I went into it, looked at my emotions and in the end I was able to. to say oh I'm just thinking these things because I love my son so much, this is my brain protecting me from any danger and instead of saying oh why am I thinking this?

I started thinking, oh, thanks brain for trying, you know? Make sure I'm safe and he's safe and the terms of your attachment to people stay away. Use this as an opportunity to get to know yourself. What am I afraid of? That person doesn't like me anymore. Okay, let's finish? alone, okay, and where would that leave us? Where would we go? We will try to face your reality and yourself and understand that you always have yourself when it comes to detachment and work. I think my workflow has increased and I go completely to another level when I separate.

From the result, I spent a lot of time in my youth doing races that I laid out and paths and, in a way, I pushed because I was so attached to the result instead of really observing myself. I enjoyed talking about who I really am and what resonates with people. I think also detachment can work in terms of not only when it comes to people or relationships, but in terms of sometimes you may have ideas about yourself or what it is that you think you need to be, you may be thinking, oh, I need to go. to a certain college or university to achieve abcdfg and you are so focused on a goal and a result that you forget to observe yourself and Detachment can also help you in that, when you just walk away and go, there are so many paths in life, like Steve Jobs said, sometimes all these connection points of random things that you do end up putting you in the place where you want to go, attachment really works when you're practicing the journey like you're enjoying the journey and you're learning to grow and you're really living the moment and you're enjoying who you are in that moment, it's quite a practice, you know, when I said I was worried about someone leaving you or all that, why worry?

Why not be with them and enjoy the process right now and try not to see the result because you will essentially see it as if the world is always revealed. Lies don't usually stay lies and you will know instinctively and you will see them, but you will be prepared for anything that happens because let's say even something goes wrong, you would have had a great time at the time when it didn't. Why prepare for things that may not even happen? I think the biggest thing I can take away is if you really start practicing it a little bit more and saying I'm an entity in myself, I've got this, learn about yourself, become obsessed with your journey, really go on it, you'll see that you start to magnetize people. people and opportunities.

For you, desperate energy is really difficult to handle for people, for the universe, for everything, so it is difficult for things to come to you when you operate from a level of despair, so when you start to unfold and practice this Detachment , not in a cold, not in a cynical not in a horrible way you are still a human being you will still feel that you will continue to be everything you want to be but you will know that you have this and little by little over time the way you are See that it is working is when someone is going to say something that you don't necessarily like, you're not going to be reactive, you're going to be slower to react to things and you're going to act and not react because you would have. detached from the results and you would be acting on the things you want to do instead of reacting reactive reacting reacting said this said I'm going to lose this person it's too much and the reality is that in this world things are not I'm sure and if you let yourself carried through the world and have no inner center, you will spend most of your life trying to get back on your feet instead of moving forward to where you want to go.

I'm going to add some books on attachment to my Amazon list. I'll leave them below. I think there are a lot of things I talk about, like the 20 principles of feminine energy, which is my course. You can get it on my website and it's part of that too. I grew up very demanding, very dependent on other people's opinions, very masculine and I think a part of my journey of self-discovery is feminine energy, detachment and flow, so I just wanted to share that with you and I hope it helped you. see you next time I love you so much goodbye