Hellmuth CAN'T HANDLE this table with Boeree, Laak and Ho - SEASON5 EPISODE 19

- From the Golden Nugget in Las Vegas, Nevada,

this

is Poker Night in America. (upbeat poker music) - Hello and welcome to Poker Night in America. I'm Chris Hansen along with the dumbest grown man in poker: Mr. Joseph Stapleton. - We will bring you action from the Golden Nugget in Las Vegas and I am excited. Chris looks at our lineup tonight. We're stacked, like Baywatch stacked. - Like the original or that stupid remake that just came out? - Chris, you are both amazing, thank you. We have three main event winners here, Joe Cada, my old neighbor in Hoboken, Greg Merson, and the brat, Bill Helmuth. - Sorry if that was weird, I just wanted to feel it. -And it doesn't end there because Maria Ho is here, and my former crush and subject of many strange dreams, Liv Boeree.

Then there's Bill Lee and everyone's favorite alien, Phil Laak. -Bill not only brags about himself, he also brags about other people. - Yes. (Maria laughing) - He's like. - It's unlimited. -He is him, yes. - A veri

table

Who's Who at our

table

here today for day number one. We have World Series of Poker champions and we have Liv Boeree, hi Liv. - You know, the amazing thing about

this

lineup is that the guy you've never heard of is the richest guy at the table. (Chris laughing) Never. - This was recently, right? - 25 years. - I'm straddling it, Joe, I don't know what I've got.

I'm just straddling it like the rest of you. - Are you really? - Although I don't know what I have. - You don't know what you have because you can't see through your glasses. - No, I haven't looked yet, but the letters arrived. -Phil isn't even talking to Maria, he's actually talking to someone else because he's playing remotely with those glasses. - All Phil Laak likes is virtual reality. - I hope they're not aces, I'm going to feel bad, but the cameras were able to look and notice that I haven't looked yet. - Wow, that would be very doubtful, Phil. - Actually I hope I have aces, because the cameras can show that I haven't looked, this is the first time. - Super sketch. - She just threw that away. - Uh oh, I was lucky to pick up the queens and it didn't look like I was straddling yet. - I'm going to raise you María Ho.

And I have looked. - You, I am, no, I'm just joking. - I'm going to get to 800. - You deserve this for coming back up. - 800 means the hand is over or you are committing more to the pot. One of the two. (applause from a person in the audience) Oh my God, you've got Ace, Jack, right? - What did you start with, did you start with 10? - Yeah, if you have ace, Jack, I guess it would probably hurt. If you have ace, jack. Well, at least I know what you have. - That's good, right? - That helps a little.

Ace, jacks in front of me, but now I can catch up very easily, there is a lot of work. Seven, eight, nine with two suits. - Queen, jack, two. - Oh, we both got a little bit, I got a little 10 channel ball for a ladder. You have average rate. - Well, you have some equity, you're going to bet, right? - Of course, two green tokens. - Queen set for Phil, middle pair for Maria. - Denominations. - The jacks may not be good. As a friend I have to tell you. - This could be the worst thing that has happened to Maria since that boat ride with Robert Wagner.

It's a West Side Story reference. Watch a musical, there was a musical before LaLa Land. - Yes, I saw it. - The only? - I don't know which one you're talking about. - Well, speaking of boats, Phil has one now. - Starlight Express, I saw that, does that count? But? It is and Andrew Lloyd Weber. - Sure. - Joint, that works. - I will give it to you. -It's pretty sad that the only Broadway musical I've seen is Starlight Express. - Uh oh, she didn't get dirty instantly. What do you have Maria? You don't have Jack, do you?

However, you have color. Do you have big chips behind you? Because I can not. - This is what I have. - Perfect, okay. - About three. - Five, yes, I got you, thanks. - If you have a super big hand, I accept the pain. I accept it. If I'm going to get there, if I'm not already there. Here, check it out, for you at home. (Greg and Maria laughing) Does that match? - You can see on that screen, you know? - It was on the monitor. - It was on the monitor. (table laughing) - If you were really smart, you would have known. - Get out of here. - I will not do it anymore.

The days of putting truth into the universe. - I did not see it. If I saw it, I promise. - I did not see it. - I promise that if I could see him I would say something. But I didn't see it. - I saw it. - Or I'm just pretending I didn't see it. And I pretend I have a decision when I know exactly what I'm going to do. - Dave Thaler says that if you stand on one hand, you will eventually get what you need. So I get up. - I feel so level right now, I'm a little confused to be honest. - You could have lost your level, you just looked at the monitor. - I know. - I wouldn't get up without flooding.

Or effective. - Show the nine four offspring. Shows the nine fours. - Show in. - You already showed the camera. - Some will be enough for Maria tonight. She made the right fold. - The Laak wins our first hand of the night at Poker Night in America. - I knew the queen was good. - Liv astride, calm down everyone I mean in the game. - Hey yeah. - It's absurd because it didn't happen. - Yes, I hope that, as an old player, one day I will wake up to some cruel twist of fate. (chips clicking around the table) - We hit this flop with five hands.

Laak, the one who originally came up, called by Merson, called by Helmuth, called by Lee, called by Boeree. - I offer up to 14. - The flop is seven, jack, six and a pair of hearts on board. - One, two, three, four, five, no one has a heart draw. - Direct draw for Phil Laak. - Up and down yes, okay. - It seems like one of those multiple failures. - Check. - Yes, Merson got top pair on the flop. He is no longer on shift. - Check. - Merson is still the favorite. - Many free checks to the river. - Check. - Two pair for Merson on the river, but that's not the card I wanted to see, Bill Lee and Phil Laak got a straight on the river. - Laak has the losing party.

Bill Lee has the business side. - 22 and a quarter. - I was going to say that it is quite difficult to know that you are beaten here with eight, nine. You're only losing the king, the nine and the ace, king. - I totally agree. - I am the worst. - Now it's easier to know what you're losing. - I don't know, I just want to see it. - I love it when a guy like Bill Lee is on hand. I didn't really see the hand being played this way. - Oh, I'm a prisoner of war. - War prisoner?

War prisoner? Workpiece? - Payment assistant. (table laughing) (announcers laughing) - Playoff assistant. -Phil Laak is the best thing that has happened to television since the cathode ray tube. - Don't go anywhere, this nugget of gold that is the table will be back right away. - How would you like to play? - Welcome back to Poker Night in America. We rejoin the action inside the Golden Nugget. Poker Night in America presented by Kimo Sabe Mezcal with Joe Stapleton, it's Chris Hansen. And we're back in action, in our 2550 unlimited cash game. - It seems like I've been in the top 10 every year. - World Series of Poker Champion Joe Cada raises.

World Series of Poker main event champion Greg Merson is retiring. World Series of Poker Main Event champion Bill Helmuth is retiring. Uber rich kid Bill Lee is retiring. The talented and tremendously good poker player Liv Boeree calls. -That's one of the first things she told in a story about how you got to second place. - I should punish you. - Stop Merson, stop, Jesus. - This guy, Billy, I'm going to pick Player of the Year and I feel like I finished second three times. I finally got the guaranteed Player of the Year. - Yes. - It's a big poster, like a life-size poster of, I need more posters. (María laughing) - On that note, that was a good one. - Phil never gets tired of looking at me. - I have many posters from last year. - But I need him, right, and then he has to win the main event. - So, Helmuth complains about losing Player of the Year, the year the guy sitting in front of him won.

Greg Merson by absolutely destroying the series finale and winning back-to-back bracelets. - It was announced and then they came back and said wait a minute, these last few events don't count for some reason and we'll give it to Jeff fucking Manson instead. - That's how it is. - I won it by their own rules and they took it away from me. - I remember that year. - They said don't worry Phil, you'll win one. I'll keep coming. - Are you going to take that? Did you see Doyle's bet that he wanted to take? Todd. - Todd against anyone in a tournament like that, they both play, yes.

You should take that bet. - I don't bet for or against myself. Doyle has won a couple of million dollars, all the kids would say, oh, we're better than Phil, we want to bet you a million, and I'd say I don't make those bets, but go see Doyle. - Yes. - These children, they think, once or twice, they think they are good. - I generally try not to bet with people who have a winning history. - I want to look at myself all the time. - No, it's a graphic design. -Liv raises her nuts, Every knows she can't match. (beep) So much ego, everything is ego. - Alright. -Liv wins.

Joe retires, Liv wins. - And I recognize it, I recognize it right away. - It's okay friends. - I should have called the thousand, acted like I had a pair and said good hand, I had a pair. That's the right move. - I agree. - And I messed up, but I make mistakes every day and I accept it. - I don't think I care about your raise. I think you made a good raise. - Go back to the glasses. - Yes. - I think you made a good climb Phil, I think you made a bad decision. - Yes, it could be a rise, that could be the jump of the super high level magician.

I'm not emotionally grounded for those things. Two hours per decision? I think it depends on you. - Close it. - No, they don't call the clocks. - It's a lot of noise. - It's a lot of noise. - Thousand. - Believe it from all of us. - Wow. - So, Bill is going to raise here with the lowest pair, which is, in fact, the best hand for now. - Ace on the turn. King on the river, this hand is Bill Lee's loss. - Two thousand. - Phil makes the correct fold. - I can't fold. - Show one. - No no no no. - Show the seven ♪ and make me happy. - I never talk when I play, but I think maybe that's how it is. - Talking and playing has never been good for me, no. - That wasn't a worse joke than Borat's.

Is there a way to stop things right there and reward the worst joke of the week? - He was going to get under Dan Smith's skin. - WHO? - Phil. - Action on María Ho. Maria has been a little quiet tonight other than playing that first hand. - She's inside now. -She No she was trying to bother him. That boy is crazy, he is completely crazy. I mean he's a very good player, but. - The highest pair on the flop and a flush draw. - It looked like. - Pretty. - I bet him three times in about seven hours and had him twice, and he moved each time. - Maybe you're crazy Phil. -Maybe he had it. - You are the one who is betting three on nine, two, on 10, two. - Yes, you still had 10, two. - Maybe you are the crazy person from northern Europe. - Good. (chips clicking) - Ace, jack high, Maria? - Yahtzee, ace of diamonds on the Maria Ho turn in business, Helmuth dies. - I think I was really fooled today, Phil.

Gary had me fold kings earlier. - It is very important to survive to allow yourself to be deceived here and there. You have to feel good about it. - Let's go one. - Every time (beep). - Maybe you want to try to have a little more of a poker face. (chips clicking) - Simply bet and eliminate them. -Statistically speaking, when Phil puts his glasses on his mouth, he has a 0% win rate in the matchup. - Maria Ho blagged-fantastic or had it fantastic. -If she was lying, she was a good bluff. - Was it fantastic or fantastic? - Always have it. - Always have it, fantastic. - Wow, FBT Mueller in the background. -We haven't seen him at US Poker Night in years. -Guess what, he'll join us after the break. - Actually? - Thanks for returning to Poker Night in America with Joe Stapleton, it's Chris Hanson, back to poker.

There are a lot of big names at the table today. A lot of money earned in his career. - Guys astride. - Before resigning. - Yes, we are straddling each other, I have only been doing that, I don't know if we are all doing it. Are we all doing it? - Not everyone has been, I don't think. - Laak is straddling it regardless of whether anyone else will do it after him. -María Ho makes 300.-he is very open. - Helmuth calls. - Last time I was very open with a middle pair too. - I know. - The last time. - I don't know if Greg will want to take care of that.

He may not want to do it. - Because. - Bill Lee will call. -He may not want to play. -No, he will do it. - This big. - We're ok. - I had a job doing something like that. - Yes, we know your struggle. - I'm just kidding, man. - And Phil Laak is in. - We're ok. -I love how Greg already did Tilt and he's not even in the game. That's how it is. - Yes, you already are. - Ahh, too much talking. Ahh, I can't pay attention. - The flop is jack, seven, four, presented by Kimo Sabe Mezcal. - The top pair for Helmuth, the bottom pair for Laak, the middle pair for Maria. - I would have tried to win.

I may not lose my own stack, but I would have tried a little. - What's going on? It's a quick call. - Three, Phil, three? - Oh no, I'm in a different range. - Give him a raise. - I'm in a different range. - Do you still have the three? - Very different range. -I have no idea what he has. - I'm sorry to leave youstrung up. - Queen of spades on the turn Maria bets 1600. - What (beep) is happening here? - You've got Bill Helmuth squirming here. - Every hand I have I lose. - You know, some of Helmuth's reasoning is starting to border on the senile. - Oh, and she'll catch him again. - Yo, what's the problem with these shoes?

Is this a sponsorship or something? - I love those shoes. - Does it have to be good? - They haven't sponsored me, no. - Did they just give them to you? - I have one of the best offers. -They are her dancing shoes. - Liv Boeree three betting two sevens. Bill Lee opened the game with seven, six, out. - Did you spray paint them? - I think it was cool that you were in a Carl's Jr. commercial. - Baby Puma. - I do not have sponsorship from Puma. -She says it as if it were a possibility. - You like those shoes. - I'm going to line up right now for my Air Helmuth. - If I raise you on the flop, does that help María? - I will call.

I have a hand that I do not withdraw or lift. Yes, I bet a lot. - Did you miss another one? - Yes, but it was more or less small. - Top couple again. - I was willing to bluff there. -So Joe Cada has decided to four-bet with king, jack, turning this into a pre-flop bluff, make no mistake, he's perfectly happy with Liv folding, but instead. She pushes. - Oh man, that's how to play. - The cold bet on four seems very strong. - Good hand. - Greg Mueller sitting in the two-seat taking Maria Ho's place.

Greg Mueller, one of the originals of Poker Night in America, was at the first event, in the first

episode

. - FBT. Bill Lee, limping under the gun. King, three shots, I'm not sure about that. Each raising the ladies kings. - I really don't know, I don't think I have one. If I had to say one, I think it's Phil Laak. I swear to God, true story. - It was fun playing with all of you. - Goodbye Maria. - I'm leaning Maria, I'm very leaning. - Very good, you made a good play. - You know Phil was talking about being in the area and Maria just made him a friend of the area. - María Ho you are. - Like a hit and run, don't forget about that. - A new beginning. - Enjoy Phil's bunny, bye. - Poker gangster. -He's been doing it for real. - So Each fails a set.

In fact, bill is playing live with king tre. I didn't lend butter to go with king, three of clubs to fold when there's a club and a shot to the stomach, thank you very much. Now there are two clubs. (chips clicking) - I don't know, it was a tough time. I don't blame you for withdrawing. - It's a brutal hand, I had to tell you the truth, once I realized that the only path I could follow is to stay with the truth, all the way. Brutal hand, this that, you know. - Yes Yes Yes. - If I never tell the truth, I'll have to throw it away. -Joe is going to bet, I guess this time he will bet more, yes, 1500 in a pot of 1600. -They also did it once. - It seems a lot against you.

I do not know how. -You know that it is also easy to be on the outside and say that this time he doesn't have it. - Bill is actually getting a pretty good price there, better than two to one with 26% equity. - I'm glad I didn't wear that shirt. Phil, I had that shirt on and I was too hot and I wore this one thank God. - Implied Odds: If you hit your hand, you might get the Cada stack. - Cool shirt, I was just too hot in it. - Sorry if that was weird, I just wanted to feel it. - No, that's a good one. - It is nice. - 2500. - I was too hot. - Each shoots 2500 into Bill Lee's abyss.

And there's Lee's rise. - Hi FBT, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I saw the pictures. - And there is a call. - Just run it under the water, that's all. -Each probably thought he was defeated there, he was leading five to one with the top set. Pretty nasty place right there. Especially when you consider the fact that the guy who won the money from him is worth millions, millions, millions of dollars. - Bill Lee had it well. I can see you had king high flush and bet five k. - Color player. - Is there a statute of limitations for main event winners because I almost felt empathy for Joe Cada after that happened? -Well, it's been eight years since Cada won $8.5 million, but, of course, he was left out like five times at that final table.

So I'm going to go ahead and say that your empathy comes from a good place here, but it's a mistake. - Well, as long as you think I'm a good person. Stick around, we'll be back with the chip count when we get back. - Welcome back to Poker Night in America here at the Golden Nugget in Las Vegas, Nevada. Let's see the results after the first night of play. -Each and both Phils end up down for the night, while Bill Lee earned most of his winnings in that last blowjob. Two of my favorite women on the planet, Maria Ho and Liv Boree, won a few Gs and my brother from Hoboken, Greg Merson, ended up winning $1,375, which is about two weeks' rent in that neighborhood. - Well, we're just getting started here in Las Vegas, so tune in next week when Helmuth shows us some more ways to do poorly in televised poker.

Now, if you want more Poker Night, you can find us on social media, including Twitch and YouTube, where you can find full

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s, live streams, and exclusive content. Don't forget to download our free poker app. You and your friends can have your own poker night and have a chance to win a seat at our show. Find us in the App Store and then download today. For everyone here at Poker Night in America, I'm Chris Hansen, this is Joe Stapleton and thanks for watching. - Poker Night in America presented by Kimo Sabe Mezcal and Sit & Go 2.0. - I had pocket rockets with that. - No way. - That's so cold Bill.

And Phil Laak is likely to fool you all if a blank message appears in the river too. - Yes. - That's happened before, that's happened before. - 200. - In the dark, wow. - That's like a beast.