Gute Entscheidungen treffen mit Melanie Wolfers | einfach ganz leben

Welcome to the new episode of Simply Whole Life on the Mindful Living Podcast. I'm a mom, a Reebok host, a radio editor, an author, radio and audiobook news host, and more, and I talk to some amazing guests on this podcast. every two weeks about everything that makes life more beautiful and relaxed also makes it more exciting and intense and today with me is Melanie Wolfers, theologian, nun, pastor with all her heart and best-selling author. Her current book on talking about salary is. called Decide and live from art. We are going to make a smart decision and we are going to be successful.

That's what we're talking about. Have fun listening today, love Melanie Wolfers, I'm glad you're my guest. Welcome back, thanks for the invitation. I look forward to the next hour with you. We've already had a very nice conversation in this podcast series and I think we can leverage that wonderfully, without making a huge difference. intelligent decision you have to be good, that is true because decisions always come to light, I decide towards an open future and that is why each decision is, above all, a powerful decision, also a risk and that requires courage and they say. In reality, the worst decision is the one I don't make.

What does indecision do to us? My impression is that misfortune arises more frequently from lack of decisions than from wrong decisions because if I don't decide, others decide something else. Their well-intentioned advice or their own interests, changed circumstances or my own moods and needs push me ahead of them and I end up somewhere, guided by others or by my own spontaneous impulses, in places where in reality I wouldn't want to. In the end I look at my whole life, so the lack of a decision is actually a reckless decision, in any case, if it is a habit, if you give up the wheel and don't shape your life, you don't.

Don't write your own lyrics in your life. Then you are no longer your own boss or your own boss changes. Yes, I think we are never really bosses in our lives, but we can definitely have a say in our lives. We are simply involved in many contexts where a lot is expected of us and yet we always have room to make decisions and that is why it is important for me to encourage and strengthen people and also enable them to make good decisions; It often starts at a very small level, so decisions are difficult. Now I go to the restaurant and spend a lot of time studying the menu until I make up my mind and then I look longingly at my partner's plate Hmm, but it looks delicious. that too.

What would you tell me? Then they will tell me your friend that everyone eats half tender from each plate. In fact, I have a reputation in my family that I always want to share everything and that would often be stupid. for others and then I say why if I don't eat a whole huge whole wheat bagel I want and I want a piece so I think it's stupid if you say everything and then they say I'm food envious but I want part of it or they just want what's in the the other person's plate, a point that I think also goes hand in hand with decisions.

So when I decide something, if you decide to make a whole roll, then you decide not to risotto with mushrooms and then don't eat it because the cart doesn't have enough capacity and I think that's always a challenging point in decision-making power because every decision for something It is also an elimination of other options and sometimes that is not so easy, I mean when it comes to eating I don't think that is the problem, but with powerful decisions when choosing a career or even just when now you can think again about vacation trips, where the corona pandemic is going and where it is heading and you simply can't You go to different places at the same time or you don't have enough money in your wallet and being able to live with the resignation is a prerequisite important to be able to make decisions.

Maybe we'll do something a little bigger than I order at a restaurant, so you've already mentioned changing jobs or going to another city, maybe even ending a relationship. What are the typical blockers that make it difficult for us to make a decision? I think there are different aspects. On the one hand, in my book I develop five typical fears of decision making. There are fears that tend to arise in difficult situations and there are other elements as well, but perhaps start by looking at decision-making fears as such. typical blockers. 1 I could just name them. Depending on where you are, it may be tempting to choose between being able to calculate, so Tanja can continue talking.

So that's the fear of new and uncertain things. , I let myself get involved in the open and uncertain and sometimes feel safer staying with the familiar, even if it makes you unhappy, rather than trying something new. That's why people often stay in a job even if they don't. They like it because they don't dare to try something new. That is one of the fears of the new and the unknown. And then a very widespread fear is the fear of making the wrong decisions, of making the wrong decision, of making the wrong decision. You will fail, the decision will not work as you expected.

The third point is that we have finally touched a little, that is, the fear of the price I have to pay for a decision, for what each decision is. something is also detrimental to other options and giving them up is closely related to the fear that if I choose the right path then the left one will be the same and I will lose options and we will live in a society that shoots you down immensely, you keep them all. your options are open as long as possible, don't commit too soon, who knows, maybe something better will come along and the last fear that is also very common and that prevents people from making bold decisions is fear.

Before that, what happens if others say what will my family, my environment, my professional environment say if I cut my job or if I get into a relationship, then they look at others who prevent me from defending myself and taking coherent paths but with These are five typical fears when making decisions that can greatly slow people down and prevent them from making a decision. This story is about keeping all options open. I think it's so clear that if I don't decide anything, then I don't really do it. I have something that I haven't chosen something nice or interesting or something touching I just have to think about it New Year's Eve is so typical yes you always want to have the best New Year's Eve party and you get an invitation and I think there may be something more to come , and in the end the others will celebrate without anything else like that, which maybe will clarify the metaphor of the sun a little more to this little, yes, work, I think you are really getting to the point. , then there could be something better and then you let all the possibilities pass you by, so I also experienced something very impressive because I can tell the story because I express it in such an extreme way that I want to go.

Assisi every year with young people and one day we walk with all our luggage on our backs and really through the Hungarian mountains and after five days of walking there is a day of rest to always relax the legs and wash the clothes and the day of Rest is also silent and then people do all kinds of things and in the evening we meet again and then a relatively breathless woman came to dinner and then said that she had chosen the old monastery from the time of Francis, located in the mountain and here we just went up the mountain with his light day luggage and we arrived at a really fantastic place with an extremely beautiful view, we sat down and enjoyed it, we sat there for five minutes and we thought, yes, there is definitely a more beautiful view higher. and it continued for the next half hour, he sat down again and enjoyed it for five minutes, look into the distance and that's in the title, then he thought, but there's definitely a better view up there and so he did it four or five times and finally Got to the top, it was fantastic, looked at the clock and the markets.

Now I have to push down to make it to dinner in time and the thought that maybe there is a more beautiful view took her further and further. She never stopped. anywhere and I really enjoyed the view and in the end all the beautiful views passed me by and she came running. Once again with us the fear that the possibility disappears and that the heroes take something concrete, only what we take concretely is real life, not the 1000 doors. that remain open but only the door we pass through opens a new living space for us. Beautiful image and I think the sister of this is actually that with this fear of making wrong decisions, I keep everything open for myself, I can make the wrong decision, so I think all these fears are connected to each other somewhere and that too It's very widespread, so this clearly doesn't mean that someone makes the wrong decision.

That is also logical, but if we keep in mind that I should not make If I make a wrong decision under any circumstances, then we will not make a decision and the question is what does a right decision really mean? Let it be so clear that when I make a decision, there is an impetus for a development with a decision. I won't say how this development will play out because the future is open and may evolve in directions we don't see yet. I think the search for a decision that works in all cases is not realistic.

We have experienced this to a large extent with the coronavirus pandemic, which is why how many unforeseen events arise and can change our lives from one day to the next. We are aware that we are not so used to it, we already are. We have experienced it collectively in Kronau, but of course it is a reality for all of us in everyday life and it is exciting when we feel how many decisions we have made. Maybe we are in a new job and realize that this is not the case. Yellow of. Then there are the decisions you've made and then maybe weighing new options.

How can we do this better? So one thing is really the way he approaches the wrong decision that you're talking about and I think it makes sense. Investigating the causes has contributed to the fact that I have now ended up in this situation that I am in and Merkel is not suitable and then I may possibly become aware of points where I may not have been well enough informed for the company It might be great from the outside But in reality I could have found out through conversations that the atmosphere on the team is horrible or that I was so excited about the salary increase that I didn't think about it here, but that's why I drive there three quarters of the time. hour more every day and in the other direction and after a year I realize how much of a strain this is on family life and in fact I must say seriously that of course I would have realized by now in that moment.

There are points where we simply make mistakes in the decision-making processes and that's what it's all about. Yeah, also my book, which I really try to give you a guide to make good decisions and then see, okay, what to weigh everything. to be able to say everything I can here and now with the best knowledge and certainty. Can it be a viable decision? I don't know if your question goes in this direction, what are the basic components or if it is again in the direction of making a wrong decision, which actually interests you in both directions if I am already in the new If I am in a situation then I have to be able to deal with it in some way, maybe I'm taking care of something and what I've left behind, for example, I also think it's an important aspect and vice versa, clear in advance that's the message.

Now think about it, but not for long. That's what I hear from him, don. Don't hesitate for too long, but first of all, nice change information beforehand, what else should we think about? I like to talk about three basic components that help make a viable decision and that is already in the word viable. It's just building. blocks, it's just a matter of selecting elements and weighing them to see if these three should be taken into account to make a decision on solid grounds and I like to break these three pillars into three questions: what can I do?

What do I want, what should I do? Let's start with the first point, in order to make a sustainable decision it is important that we take into account our gifts and limitations, our personality structure, our potential. In the same way that a house built on sand cannot withstand a storm, it is not a decision to be well positioned when I do not know my gifts and live beyond myself or when I know my limits and maneuver myself into a situation where I am overwhelmed, so it is an important component to look at the garden, the talents, the ones that ask, the essential structures of the personality, the needs that gave me an idea of ​​what I have learned, of what I have also acquired throughout my life, are all angles that point in the direction of a satisfactory decision.

Each person has many. different potentials and our potentials, in a sense, scream to come alive. If they are realized, then our lives come alive and we realize that we can give something that is meaningful to others or that also has meaning to me and that is why it is very good and useful to keep track, it works well for me. What are the things that I enjoy because they correspond to my own talents and where would I maneuver towards an excessive demand where there is also a very stopclear? sign Attention, here's how to look at an overwhelming or failing situation with my eyes.

I would like to put a hook on that because that is where many times you begin to recognize your own talents. Some people also say not really. You know what I'm good at or he's someone who can do a lot but he didn't have that confidence in himself. I don't see his abilities that way because maybe they weren't taught them either. well with everything that you have brought with you because of this life I would like to briefly say what there is in general about it and then answer your question specifically, so at this point where you say Many without some we don't even know what we are. good at This makes an important point clear, which is essential in all the different weighing processes in which a decision is made, that you are in good contact with yourself, how do I want to make a good decision if I don't?

I am familiar with myself and that means it requires attention, a culture of pause, an effort to always be in touch with myself and maybe we will talk about it later. Now I would like to address your specific question: how can I become one? attentive So one thing I like to do over and over again is sit in peace and not be disturbed and then ask myself what were the moments or situations where I felt so completely in my element. I've had moments where I was somehow in it. flow of life and there were about 45 situations or maybe a whole phase of life or a longer period of time or really a situation where I could visualize it and let it emerge.

I felt what was there, what the environment was like and then in the next step ask what gifts and talents and what needs came into play that also led to this feeling of I'm in my element and then if you think of 567 situations, look at them and then asks what talents, what strengths, what potential did I realize at that moment and could it be that someone has a green thumb and just what I did made an orchid that was completely sad somehow bloom again, so not only do they have to be balls worthy of a prize, so aren't we?

Anyway, but it could be in these little things in everyday life and remember, wow, it made me very happy. My neighbors on vacation gave me these flowers so I could take care of them and they came to me sad and they're going to bloom again for a neighbor. Everyone to me. I have realized my green thumb and that has given me such and such a woman a situation to ask me about this basic talent structure and then once you have looked at the situation, you then discover, well, it seems that I have a green thumb. , it seems like I can easily empathize with a person who is in need and the second thing is what can I do now?

The second component I would like to point out just the first thing, so what is really just as important? knowing your own limits, that is, knowing them and taking them into account, to see your own gifts and limits, and I surely know that too. I work a lot in consulting or from my own life Recognizing and recognizing and. Taking these limits into account is not always easy, so I remember a young man who wanted to be a nurse, no matter what, although everyone around him said that you have a back problem, that's all, it won't be like that. work He has to leave his job for another two years because he really wanted to see something together that went against his physical constitution and was very bitter for him, so he also had to really look at where I am overloading myself or where I am. the time resources that are missing when someone If I am asked to do a volunteer position, maybe I can, but then do I have the time capacity or will other important things be missed?

So that's very important in this first building block, to see where we are? The limits are and try to take them into account rather than in the long term. Using it against one's own borders, interstate, anyone not crossing the borders of a state is a declaration of war, that is, with hostile intentions, and if I continue to push against my own borders, then it is actually me who decides against myself when I see myself maneuvering into a situation where I'm overwhelmed, I'm sorry I haven't addressed your second point yet, but that's very important because we live in an always-functioning society.

That way, and also our performance society, you can optimize yourself, the opportunities are there and I think that's ruthless and unrealistic. We cannot optimize ourselves in all areas. That is unrealistic and ruthless towards ourselves and others and that is why I defend it. limits. I find it totally refreshing that you say that because it takes your breath away. Going beyond these limits is a true thief of energy. Andrea Wahl, it's nice when you say like that, okay, I don't have that. I still have a lot of experience with this, but I want to try it so you can boldly approach something you don't know.

I think it's pretty good to know exactly where the limits are, to be able to hold on, but then it's very clear and that's part of our human reading, that we want to cross borders, so I think otherwise we would all be sitting on the ground today and We wouldn't go because I want them to have learned that. which has to do with the fact that we rise and fall countless times. We wanted to cross this limit. That is now part of us as humans as humanity and as individuals and I think we often learn the limits.

We also only know that we have overcome them. a little bit and they're working oops, that was too much and it also helps, like I said before, to look back at what were the times when I was in my element. Look at what you can do in times of crisis and what does that say about the limits of my resilience and what I don't handle well? That's a huge amount of learning potential you can learn from times of crisis, even with an eye to your own limits. Great point, what can I do? do and now what I want and that is not easy sometimes you just don't know anything how can I know?

There is a very nice saying about Karl Valentin who walks through the streets of a city and speaks to passersby. and he says sorry, can you tell me where I want to go? I find that very appropriate, so that's what I think the field is really open for. There are many studies that many people can't say exactly what they want about. What is it really? What is important and meaningful is what matters to you, what your long-term value goals are, what gives meaning and meaning to your life and that is really a central point to making a good decision, that I know what is important to you. me when I am like this An image can bring up a decision situation is something like a healthy fork in the road or that a street has several streets that branch off and let's say I am at a roundabout and there are 34 streets that branch off but I don't know if I go to Handewitt to buy oil or if I want to go to Neulengbach, then I will drive and drive on the roundabout and I don't dare to turn because I don't know. where I want to go, that means I will only be able to make a decision if I have a destination in mind and it is similar.

Know in a centralized way what is important to me to be able to weigh different alternatives when making decisions. situations and know that it is okay and this alternative corresponds more to what is important to me now or corresponds more to the direction I want to take but I notice that I do not have an answer to your question. Answered, you are right, how? Do I find out? Actually, I've now made another point about how important it is to know what's important, but if you wanted to continue with the job change example, perhaps we could discuss some specific points for others.

This is a woman who worked in a bank, middle management, a well-paid, demanding and, what is rare today, also permanent job, but somehow in recent years her discomfort has been growing more and more when think about your employer. because she had said it like that, well, on the outside we seem very serious, but secretly we often play roulette with money for our clients and the management of the bank or the new management of the group also acted according to the motto "the end justifies the media". and that's why they've been fighting like this for a long time.

Ask her if she will leave her job because she can't really combine it with her demands on how she wants to work with her Indian demands and become an independent consultant because she would have to do a lot of things that contradict her convictions, yes, and then the question was that there were alternatives too quite realistic but of course there is financial risk, lower income, etc., so the question is: what are the guidelines that give the security and courage to embark on a new path despite the fear? She noted that that was more important to me, so that was a very important point for her.

She then she decided to leave the bank because she realized that we and that too. She talks about my values ​​and what I do and don't do. What I want to do is that I actually want to live a little beyond myself and that gave him the courage to leave, so why, why, why. , yes, that is a great example of what has become of her, so she realized, on the one hand, that she was in this too. We all weighed the fact that she doesn't want to be a lone fighter, so she got my friends on board and set up a consultation and not alone because that was also a point that stopped her at the bench.

Not everything was bad for me, but that's also where they love her and both of them and the second was too. It's important to her, so this security is part of it and becoming self-employed is always a risk. She just tried to get a teaching position and she got that too, so everyone has that confidence again, but what helped her was actually this goal. guidance, yes that's what I want and that's where a lot of my garden comes from if I start my own business and today she is doing well and she is with her friend and she is totally grateful to no longer be in the company where she was for almost 25 years It's a long time, so you're still deeply connected in a certain way with the people in the company, but when things change like that, we're actually already one.

A little bit on the third point, what should I do because you too? have your ethical standards included and at this point, what should I do? Basically, the relationship with my outside world is exactly what I can do with the first two points. What do I really want? Yes, so to speak, the spotlights on me? myself and now it is about directing them apparently from the outside. I live in a world and look, yeah, what's possible? So I mean AML in the last or in the corona pandemic. I've noticed many times that you would. I would have liked to have had something cloudy and also been able to do it in person, but that did not happen and they were not allowed to meet and it is also important to keep that in mind, otherwise we would not have overcome this crisis as well. there wouldn't be many of them, I was really very considerate and left their parties alone and said, okay, I'll ask my number 50, he got married two years later or he got married a year later, that's all, but we live on we live. how we live, we do not live like Robinson Crusoe alone on the island but our decisions influence others and see what can be achieved, what makes sense and also what balls life plays for me and also the opportunities that arise o There is a conversation , I meet someone and they tell me about an environmental protection initiative that really fascinates me and then I realize that I would like to get involved in volunteer work, which also means that it comes with external impulses but also challenges.So we We are also the situation, woman, then also about us, if I am a mother, if I am in a team, then where should I do something because they need me?

We already have everything from the third point. there yes, everywhere, but that seems important to me, perhaps with a view to these three points, I think it is clear that many times they relax, so I just mentioned it and knowing also that each decision is always full of tension, So I would like to give the example of power and want to make it clear that a tension can be felt between what I can do and what I want, which is not only normal but also healthy because if I want more than what I can do, then that leaves me I also grow beyond myself.

The point is that the voltage between these three poles, what can I do, what do I want and what does the situation require, that the voltage is not too high, therefore a picture. From the point of view of electricity, a bulb burns well when the voltage between the two poles is good, if it is too low it does not light up, then it is just a problem. If the voltage is too high, it will cause burning and something similar happens. with us when the tension is between power and wanting, for example, or with the driver I was talking about Between who she is and what she had to do from the outside in the bank, when the tension becomes too great then people become resigned internal, resigned or sick or something like that.

The tension shouldn't be too great if we do something about it. But it is always exciting and that is normal and also the creativity that I think would be born there has not touched much of what one does. I have written so meaningfully and that fits with who I can be, who I really am the direction of our task in life or if I say it in the first person, my task in life is to be completely myself. It is also a great desire.be that and I think most of us find it quite difficult to get there, yeah, and I think it's a lifelong thing as well.

I think it's nice when you have this longing and you give it space and you don't live a borrowed life or don't drift through life in the passenger seat because that's how it happened, but always Here we are again at the points of being in close touch with yourself . This corresponds to me now, which also corresponds to deeper values ​​and longings. mine. Who do I want to be when I look back on my life on the night of my life and explore myself? I also find it so exciting that you also give me suggestions for developing more awareness of your own bodily sensations.

What is the connection? Yes, you are talking about a point that did not seem very interesting to me when I was discussing the topic, that is, that we have different powers. In us we have those who support us so that we make a good decision. There is the head, there is the thought, there is the stomach. In colloquial terms, Rethmann von Bauk, current research speaks of emotional memory, that is, our emotional memory is located in what we call the stomach and speaks with immense richness. experience about what were good and bad decisions, what was done well and what went wrong and these emotions when you just have a strange feeling or notice that you feel lighter inside, they also go hand in hand with physical sensations when you speak.

We do research today from sympathetic markers, so I think everyone in our body knows that it is often much faster than our consciousness. You walk into a room and notice that at first you notice it somewhat physically by touch. Now I have a monastery and So you get the idea that the mood has just landed in the basement, those somatic marks that always go hand in hand with emotions and physical sensations and can help you become aware of important signals that can help you to make a viable decision and, as always, I am becoming a little more sensitive to something that is the good of God, not all of us have access to body sensations, but you can do physical training for body sensitivity, so an example it's when you open your emails and you see the senders and then you know some names that you don't know and they don't trigger a feeling, but with some names you will immediately think that they come immediately inside and the research speaks to that.

I think a hundredth of a second, I don't know. that at this moment a feeling 1 arises and somehow an internal chill in our thoughts that causes anger or flutter of anticipation and also whether it is good to have received an email from him again or not, so within 200 milliseconds these signals appear and you can train them so that if they want to train the feeling of their body, when you access the emails, take your time and try to notice what reaction there is in you and write it down. That's easy, it's similar to muscle training, so yes I do it.

I train my arm muscles and then they become stronger. This is, so to speak, training the sensitivity of your body. If you train this sensitivity, this sensitivity will be greater and then it can also give you signals in decision-making situations because you are simply perceiving. These signals arise emotionally and physically and this is often what it means to stop. That's dangerous or gold, that's good, so humility and each person reacts differently, for example, a typical reaction when the body says stop can be, for example, the feeling of a lump in the throat or tightness in the chest or guys pressed or a growl in the stomach and it's good to know how my body speaks when the light is red or when it's green, that doesn't mean we simply act as the body says, but that's simply a carrier of information and that goes with him.

Include consideration, precisely because I think these are things we often ignore. We don't really notice them and push them away because we think, oh, that's not it. It is a good utility, but we can even use it very well to make the decision. There are decisions in your life where, in retrospect, you say, wow, that was hard for me, but then it turned out to be a good thing, or vice versa, or where you were really afraid to make this decision and you felt like there were some obstacles in the way. the path, yes. So there are already two big decisions that point the way like this.

This was a study choice, the other was a life plan, that is, studying. I was just interested in a lot of things and it was difficult for me to decide on one thing and against many other options, so this fear of the possibility of disappearing and of committing and not knowing that yes, then I can be sure. that this is the right decision. I know this note and I went into an intensive decision-making process back then and since then I also realized, yes, I think it is right if I pursue the humanities, especially since an accident made my original wish.

Studying music was impossible, so there was no decision, but I had to learn to live with a really difficult crossroads and then the question OK, what do I do as a result of you no longer playing the instrument? It was really, really, really hard, yeah, so it wasn't a choice, but that's where this choice starts, like how do I take a stance on what's happening to me, so I still have my choice of inner attitude, how do I deal with it? the demands of life and I'm there. I just finished philosophy and theology, so that was such a big decision with the needs of the poet that he also knew and the other far-reaching decision that also made my stomach rumble.

When I felt at home in Munich I had a teaching position at the university. A great place where I studied pastoral, a great apartment, good friends and I was wondering if I could go somewhere else with my lifestyle and'. I have been searching for a long time if religious life fits me then a conscious spiritual life plan in a community is right for me and then I met the Salvatorian Sisters, that is the community I have been living in today. for 18 years and on the one hand I realized, wow, that could be possible and that was very nice, in some ways it was a bit love at first sight and at the same time I was very scared because I knew what I was getting. and I also knew it and if you go there now it may be that half a year later you will be gone again because you will notice that it is not true and what was really fundamental for me to take this step was that in some way I was aware that if I never do you don't like that now and discover in concrete life if this life in community is a life of silence and prayer and at the same time on a large or intensive level of commitment to a piece of a better world if you don't try it now, within 10 or 15 years you will wonder if you are living a realized version of yourself and with this tent in doubt I did not want to live and that has given me the courage to leave, break my camp in Munich and go to Austria and then at some point I felt That was the right step, but I think even if I had gone again, it would have been the right step because some things can only be done in concrete. terms and not in theory, could you say this again so that we can all remember that we can now surpass a realized self?

I don't know how I put it, but for me it has everything to do with self-esteem. I respect that I didn't, I didn't want to live with the lingering doubt. Melanie, maybe you are living a full version of your life with these situations. I didn't want to live with doubt looking back and that's it. why I took the step and for me, of course, it is also a great spiritual support. So for me, spiritually speaking, it's a calling to do it. I don't want to ignore myself and the realized version of the most vivacious version of myself, that's beautiful, so I think we can all take this wonderfully with us from this conversation about the beautiful.

I think that writing cards is a very nice ceiling for everything we are talking about today, the decision-making processes, can you tell me 12 points that particularly attracted you? go to these places Faith, spirituality, silent meditation have played a very important role in my life since I was a teenager. 40 Maybe it's strange, but it's actually until I was thirteen and I meditate every day and that was always very. important to me It has something to do with half of my life and for a long time I was not clear about what my life plan would be. I myself come from a large family with many siblings and they have children again and also children and.

Somehow it has now crystallized: yes, I want to lead a life together with others, I want to lead a simple and supportive lifestyle with others. We don't have money, we don't have our own money. I always like to say that the religious are the oldest communists. Yes, what we earn goes to a common fund with which we cover our living expenses and the rest goes to social projects, that is, to a simple and supportive lifestyle with others, a common. commitment Of course, we all work in different professions and but our community is also understood by the fact that we want to try to make the world a little brighter and also live a life of silence and prayer.

In a photo I would like to lead a life where on the one hand I cross my hands and... I roll up my sleeves and for me that is religious life, so I notice it in the plan of religious life, which is what it is. suitable for me. I think these two sides also radiate a lot. I know they do a lot of youth work and just with conferences and all kinds of difficult things. Then you are in the middle of pulsating life and that is exactly it. what my listeners or our listeners don't see now that they nod very well and I have this photo of Melanie Wolfers for this again, for this output there is a richness that they draw from and just as they bubble up artfully you can also feel the abundance of which they give something I'm already very limited.

They also have a podcast, Mrs. Wolfers, so I wanted them again. The queries are quite brave, the name of the podcast is for a full life, how it works, what. What do we do? It is a great pleasure for me to be on the road with a podcast. Until now I have been more of a lecturer and with books and other things in short work seminars. I am convinced that each person is much richer. within what they realize and it is my passion to support people to explore with courage and benevolence what is in me and yes, develop what is in them with the opportunity to take control of one's own life and it is not like that, also in my books and even when we talk now, I have rather formulated questions or perspectives that are, for example, the pillars of a sustainable decision. , that is, the answers to the important questions of life can only be answered by each oneself and this is how in the podcast I try to start a conversation about questions of life and I am totally happy to have been able to contribute a conversation partner extremely interesting on board with me, Andreas Buhr, a radio journalist who comes from the political field, comes from the socio-political field and who just asks me questions and sometimes really surprising questions that I would never have asked myself or never thought of. because he also comes from a completely different background.

Yes, and we think about questions that arise in life, such as, where does courage and confidence come from or how do I come to a good decision? What were my biggest crises? get up again How do I know what is important to me? Where did we talk about it before? We have also talked about the topic of relationships. How can relationships and healing? Can we live relationships? Who can we be for each other? How do we shape our future? We only have this earth and each other in your life and the question is also very important and what is it when things turn out differently than expected, even those who face these painful points in life and Andreas Baumann and I talk about these topics every 14 days on the podcast my language comes from the north of Germany, although I have lived in Vienna or Austria for 17 years and Andreas Baumann also comes from the north of Germany and that is something nice because a little native heart opens up when I am like this It is easy to hear a beat there, honestly yes and of course there are a lot of laughs and thoughts in the podcast and there are also concrete tips, hints and tips that will help you cope well with everyday life and that's what it's all about, the sounds were that it was important to give suggestions Exactly, I would like to address one more thing: you just talked about weak points, there are decisions that not only affect us but also our environment or I make a decision that is unpleasant for another person, i.e. a boss firing someone, a separation.

Yes, we leave a person or a child who suffers the separation of their parents, endures the consequences of a decision and makes peace with it, knowing full well that it is painful. For others, I think it's one of the hardest things to take. I can only emphasize that, Ms. Ribbrock, especially if you, I don't know if everyone would say that, it's also a personality style, whether you do it. have a feeling for the decisions you make with others, some are incredible, free of empathy says yes And that's also why our world suffers because we don't think about it, what our lifestyle means, what impact our decisions have on generations future andTo put it in a very global way, but that's right, yes, I can only do it from my own experience It underlines when your own decision has consequences that others really suffer and I think it is particularly important to look at the decision-making process as best as possible and where always It is different but where it is possible.

Also incorporate those affected into the decision-making process or, in any case, try to clarify what we are likely to do in the case. of a dismissal or something. They are very difficult situations or yes, one thing is to really carry out the decision-making process in the best possible way, possibly also getting supervision or advice, talking to people who are not involved, and second place. , incorporate affected people as much as possible, thirdly, take precautions if, for example, I am now responsible for them, how can I cushion this? Yes and then I hope you let yourself get hurt and don't leave. hardened by life and then somehow we talk like that.

Now we're back to releasing some people instead of saying I kicked someone out, so I think those are really lying words. When it comes to layoffs, we simply talk about releases. calling things by their name and saying okay and that is not a liberation and they are throwing people out onto the streets so that they do not hide reality but rather face reality and also in its harshness and naming them and with such personal things, for For example a breakup, there are often feelings of guilt afterwards, so can we endure it or how can we cope with it to really make peace with it at some point.

Yes, I think separation is always natural. Was it totally complex? , so I think it's important, on the one hand, not to throw in the towel so quickly in a relationship crisis. I work a lot with young people, so I suppose the cut is made relatively quickly and sometimes simply through a WhatsApp message. Just hoping that a long-term commitment or a long-term relationship like a relationship will also get you through some tough times and you're really okay with that, we can get through it together and possibly with the support of others that we are. the first one I don't think about it so quickly We can get help by throwing in the towel and looking, but then when I realize and maybe it's actually just my dad, not my partner's park, yeah, for me it doesn't go any further. then I just have to look at it, there are the right ones.

Take action, perhaps first part in terms of apartments and then, looking back, investigate again the causes, which led to this, not to make yourself feel bad, but simply to look honestly at your own life path and learn from it to the future and maybe I'll come across one or two things where I'm like yeah, that just happened, we've grown too far apart and we're letting each other hurt each other, but maybe I'll also come across one or two points where I wasn't really paying attention or if I made mistakes and I learned from them, I learned to accept myself as a person who was wrong, which was wrong too. things like that and that's me too, and then I get it over time.

Making peace with that, I think that is the fine art of friendship with oneself, that my life is not just a victorious story but is characterized by lights and shadows and I can mature in this in a year and for me personally There is also this spiritual aspect. Anchor that in the end I can trust him and I can feel it again and again, yes, the reason for this divine world is love and in it in these worlds the reason. or I speak of God, I am supported by them with light and shadow, that sounds total.

Coming home, it's nice that you say that and isn't that also where he's so successful interpersonally? Yes, where can I be there? with the boy of my size and beauty and with my patheticness and stupidity. That's actually a very nice way to come home. I think this is always possible in relationships, but of course it would be too much for one person to offer us something like that. Our longing can only reach the divine. My opinion is yes and we are also in favor of ourselves having the responsibility to have a beautiful home within us, which basically matches exactly what you said today, so that's divine.

It is not far from us if then it is a wonderful immersion in the depths of the soul Woman, what do I have here? At the end I always ask my guests a question. I did it last time and I'm very excited. to see what you say today. There are also changes and news. The question is always I don't know what will happen to me. Listen to what I did last time. What does happiness mean to you personally? Happiness is being in the here and now. and not think about catapulting myself out of it, but really being in the moment, whether there is light or darkness and saying yes to this wonderful, very beautiful short film.

Would you like to know more about that from the last time I asked you? It actually fits with that last time that you were already excited about how wonderful your job as a pastor is and how you see in young people someone who could also help you follow the path, find a path, etc. and with that you described a very great happiness back then and then I actually nudged him a little and when I asked you, you said what happiness is for you personally, sometimes happiness is in the small things and then they said yes, there is a bench that Melanie Wolf Asten is lying on now very well, where you can get to that very quiet moment where there is total silence and I think that fits very well with what you are doing today.

If I may add, It is very nice that you remind me of this banking cable, as they say here in Austria Ankara, but for me what I just said does not refer only to these moments of tranquility, but then happiness would be relative. I rarely come to the bank, but I think that's what happens to me today when you ask me for so much happiness when I can be in the moment and live the moment in the experience live with the knowledge of it here and now that's life and I am right in the middle of the loud and the difficult, the beautiful and the difficult, yes, wonderful, dear Melanie Wolfers, it was a pleasure talking to you again.

Fragments of conversations. If you liked this podcast, we would be very happy if you wrote us a little. review I'd like to thank her so much for that and if you'd like to learn more about Melanie Wolfers, you can find it in the show notes for this episode. Also a link to your book or books, that's so much more. tips and advice for a conscious lifestyle and everything related to the topics of mindfulness, healthy eating, fitness, work-life balance and much more, you will find it at simply Ganz

leben

.de, even more great podcasts, podcast punkt ag - verlag.de, you can listen to this podcast wherever there are podcasts and subscribe for free there is a new episode every two weeks and I will be very happy to have you back