Greatest Moments From Series 2 | Only Fools And Horses | BBC Comedy Greats

interested in who pushed it and who picked it up, I mean you had three cases of export gin you can't buy that in Britain no, no, we have it in olody oh, you do bootlegging too, oh come on sondra, I bought your donut kebab tonight and you gave me a stolen watch, no I didn't know it was niche, well tell that to Beat, Rodney, you don't seem to realize I'm trying to build a career in the police force. Now, what do you think my commanding officer would do if you found me in possession of stolen property?

He would put you in charge. from the christmas club more like that it's not funny rodney Could I finish with the sack which of you two is the culprit you or your kind brother no yes I from the from the I don't know anything about it he's a bit wally look well come calmly miss it's a fair drink If I had to take my duty to the max I would take you straight to the station now but you took me to the movies and bought me a bag of donuts and a packet of cashews and a watch oh no, forget the watch now I won't forget the watch and I won't forget the others either, your brother hid on the side of the couch, look, I'll give you 24 hours of respite to, let's say, clean your apartment and after that I'll go to the cid, that's 24 hours, rodney, yes, of course, reminds me of that genetic picnic song, you know, 24 Hours of Dartmoor, well thanks for a lovely evening soldier, thanks rodney, but I'd like a coffee.

Well, there's an all-night sandwich bar at the end of the wall. with the road oh yeah I can probably show up sooner sandra I'll see you again of course you will. I will be near your flight in 24 hours and in case you do not recognize me in uniform, I will be the one with the court order. Well, we have 24 hours, dale, as you say, bill rodney, 24 hours is better than nothing, thanks for being so understanding, so I missed you today, yes, I missed you yesterday, the day before yesterday and the day before yesterday, yes, hamill. I know I'm thinking about you all the time oh yes, really oh wait, yes, I mean, yes, should I dip my bread in your egg?

Help yourself, thank you very much hey, no, no, it's my brother, oh yeah, yeah, okay, I'll see you soon, of course. Yeah, I can't, there are people here, yeah, okay, see you, bye, who was this Rodney? Hey, oh, uh, Mickey Pierce, Mickey Pierce, Dale, I want your advice. I have a little problem. I don't want to know. I don't want to know, I would rather die in ignorance. There has never been anything like this in our family. You're mad because Mickey Pierce is on Ollie in France. Oh yeah, well it wasn't him, it was actually a girl, don't you ever do that? for me again, rodney, he should be up all night with heartburn, so you have a bird, right?

Well, that explains, explains, explains why you've been slacking off so much for the last week or so, you're going to get your socks off my son is starting to affect business how can he affect business? Well, I'll tell you what, look, Titania's name is Irene McKay, right, she took £17 of your clothes and you're letting her pay you back at 25p a week, right? That means you have to go there every week for a year, yeah, I know, I get it. Roddy has a mystery. The tyrant is not a mystery. We've just been seeing each other a lot and well, we've gotten pretty close, promise me you'll win.

I'm not laughing, of course I won, I think I'm in love, oh oh, do us a favor Rodney, just a month ago, I was in love with that skinny bird from the dry cleaners. Now another girl comes and you are away again. Margarita from the dry cleaners was just a crush, this is real and Irene is not a little girl, she turns out to be a woman, a woman, right, eh, she has fallen in love with someone who has the vote this time, how old is she? 20 no, she's about 30. I mean about 30. How old is she exactly? 40.

You're not serious, what's wrong with dating a flawed woman? Nothing at all if you're 50. Like she's too old for me. I might have to think twice, granted, no, you're right, Rodney, you're right, I mean, when she was drinking frothy coffee with a little Ted at high school, you were struggling to keep your flu water down, oh no , bravo, this is a problem you will have to solve. Work it out on your own, that's not a problem, well, there's something else, yes, her husband, he's not married at all, it's her, oh no, he doesn't live with her, he's far away, well, Parkhurst, which one is your game?

Take it easy, man, you could get hurt. Anyone there. I'm dying to meet you oh yeah, who is that? So I, McKay is the name, Tommy McCain, it sounds right? Yeah, I think I've heard about it before you bet your life, you've heard about it before the sun rises, you've been seen going out with my wife chotta guilty or not guilty I was just having a friendly dream but I'm not a friendly old geezer and that kind of thing makes me very angry, i'm going to teach you a lesson that you will remember for the rest of your life rodney, my old son, listen, listen, let's not rush, rodney, did you say rodney, yes, that's right, rodney trotter, It's you in this, yeah, yeah, it's Rodney Trotter, yeah, well, okay, Leo, give it some air, look what you made me do, that was brand new coat that was oh uh uh brothers, guess what I've done for you, rogers, well, if it's another example of your so-called brotherly love, just forget it as far as I'm concerned.

You're not anymore, what the hell? It's just that for you I thought I thought no, you just know, I just walked into a door, I did all that, yeah, well it was a revolving door, oh listen, listen to this, I got a little lucky tonight, I ran into Tommy McKay, that was luck, right? Hey? Did he do that? No, no, no, no, you didn't, no, no, no, it's just that you know I have too many, as you know, I fell down the stairs at Monkey Harris' house, he lives in a bungalow, yeah, well , he already moved out, anyway, he moved out, just shut up and listen, well, I talked to Tommy McKay tonight, you see, and I managed to do what all the psychiatrists and social workers failed to do.

I rehabilitated it. I've seen the error of his methods, you know, they don't give you any more problems. I have left the way clear for you and Irene Maynard. Yeah, oh, that's already over them. Well, we both had a long talk about it and decided it was never going to work. It will work? I have a box of black magic in the back of the truck. I

only

took one. Shake it now. Come on, no, that's not a good deal, I mean, it was just circumstances that brought us together. She was alone in a strange part of town and well, I was just looking for a mother figure, I guess you were right anyway, although no, no, no, I wasn't, I wasn't, I don't mean me e Irene, well, what?

Do you mean then? Well, this afternoon I went to a nightclub and met this bird Zoe Zoey 18. She has a body that makes Bo Derek look like he needs plastic surgery. Irene was just a crush, but this is a love, boy. Here it is, now it's okay. Baby, this is Zoe, this is my brother, he fell down some stairs, nice to meet you, yeah, come on, then, yeah, sure, I'll see you later, tell him it's okay, wait, you can finish that if you want, yeah, see you rodders, see you zoe. I doubt it looks fantastic. Those are the truest damn words you've said in a long time.