Golden Globes 2013 Opening - Tina Fey and Amy Poehler

live from the Starfield International Ballroom at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, welcome to the 70th annual Golden Globe Awards and now your hosts for the evening, ladies and gentlemen, Tina Pay and Amy po, good evening, I'm Tina Feay and I'm Amy, welcome everyone to the 70th annual Golden Globe Awards yes yes those of you at home I wish you could feel the excitement in this room you can smell the pills from here tonight we honor the television shows that have entertained us all year , as well as movies that have only been in theaters for 2 days that's what makes tonight so special only at the Golden Globes the beautiful people of cinema rub shoulders with the ratac people of television talking about Tina and I'm nominated too tonight and thanks to you and Tina um I just want to say I have high hopes of winning thank you you're my nemesis thank you Ricky dvas couldn't be here tonight because he's technically no longer in show business we want to assure you that We have no intention of being edgy or offensive tonight because, as Ricky learned the hard way, when you foul up the Hollywood foreign press, they force you to host the show two more times.

Oh my goodness, it was a great year for women. It was a great year for women in television. Lena Dunham is a double nominee tonight Lea, we love your show, we're big fans, but if they make you do all that nudity, you have to tell us, okay, just give us some kind of signal and we'll call the Child Services liaison or something like that, it was great. year for film uh women in film Katherine Bigalow nominated tonight. I haven't really followed the controversy over Zero Dark 30, but when it comes to torture I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron, of course, of course we want to. to thank our hosts tonight, hfpa, for allowing us Amy to tell people a little about hfpa, yes Hina, well when untreated hfpa can cause cervical cancer, however there is a vaccine, No, that's Amy, that's HPV, oh, sorry, of course. hfpa is the Hollywood Foreign Press Association and when it comes down to it, she is her daughter, there is no known cure for the Hollywood press.

Look at all these beautiful movie stars here tonight. Ben Affleck is here tonight for Aro's first two movies. Ben took place in Boston. but he moved this to Iran because he wanted to film in a place that was friendlier to outsiders. Hello Ben. Hello how are you? Hey? I'm from Boston too, so you look great. You're no better than me. The beautiful Anne Hathaway is here tonight Ann Haway, you gave a stunning performance in Le Miser. I haven't seen someone so totally alone and abandoned like that since you were on stage with James Franco at the Oscars.

You know, a photo of the great laying of it. Closeup of Miz's song All In One and she said it was very difficult to act with a camera so close to her face, so she's never going to make it in porn, yeah, no, I don't think she plans to do it . making porn Amy none of us have any plans to make it fair enough The Hunger Games was one of the biggest movies of the year and so was what I call the six weeks it took me to put on this dress Ang Lee has been nominated for best director of for cake life, which is what I'm going to call the six weeks after I take off this dress, okay, exhausting, who else is here, who else, Jennifer Lawrence is here, Silver Linings Playbook star Quenton Tarantino is here , the star of all my sexual nightmares, Merill.

Streep isn't here tonight she has the flu and I hear she's amazing on her so amazing she steals it she steals the blue she's Mandy Patinkin from the TV show Homeland she's here I like Homeland but I don't think it's as good as that one another show Previously on Homeland, that thing is action-packed, now you know Mandy Binkin is a star of Homeland, but she's also a treasure of American musical theater and if I were in charge of this show, which I've been told repeatedly, no I would be behind every clip. from Le miserab, I would cut Mandi Binkin because he knows if singing is good or bad and he won't be able to hide it in her face.

Look, we'll demonstrate it and then I, oh Binkin, did you like it amazing? Don't lie to me Mandy, don't lie to me, Julian Moore is here tonight, nominated for playing Sarah Palin and the game chains me too. I used to win awards for that too and you know, I think if Governor Palen was here tonight, she would say beta, no, I lost it, you bet no, I can't do it anymore. I guess you can't do it anymore, maybe it's for the best, maybe it's for the best, but enough of this nonsense. Lewis' Daniel is here, yes, his performance in Lincoln is so amazing, he has so much method, he really disappears into the character of him.

Did you know that Lincoln wasn't the first role Daniel de Lewis played in a Steven Spielberger film? What else did he actually play? ET no, it was ET yes, young Daniel from Lewis was ET for toe to toe to toe to toe to toe to toe to toe to toe to toe to toe to toe to toe to toe to toe to toe there is amazing amazing that's why he's the best the best amazing amazing okay let's get this started let's keep this moving and we promise we'll finish at 11:11 dark3 in the latest ladies and gentlemen, welcome from Silver Linings Playbook Bradley Cooper and The Reluctant Fundamentalist Kate Hudson