From Heroin to Hollywood: The Story of Mike Majlak - IMPAULSIVE EP. 181

And I would like to try to help other people a lot, but there will always be those things that I can't get rid of. You know, I'm saying they're just there and so that's definitely what was definitely lost. kid, you sure know how to deviate because I'm sure you'll cut your hair eventually, but I'm running out of time. If I need something from someone I haven't talked to in a long time, sometimes I just shoot them. text yes with no with what's his name really no greeting no well wishes and then I have to do it afterwards and it's always weird oh hey how and also yes and I'll say it all so I hope it goes well for you and it's a bit made up , you know, if you want something, you should do it, welcome back to impulsive, the number one podcast in the world, you might notice that Energy is a little different today because we're missing someone like Mack who has changed seats. he just jumped on the table in the new Coast, he's replacing Mike and Mike's school, he's a good guy so he decided to make this whole episode about him for the first time, Mike will be the guest on impulsive because you guys.

You may or may not know that today is the day his book is coming out, it's called V Vital and he's probably spent a good half decade working at this job and I can't imagine how stressful that would be, how much I weigh. on this, so I'm excited as a friend to pick his brain and also see his journey, hear the late night stories, you guys have only gotten a taste of it. I have been able to dive deep into this man's brain. I had the privilege of Listening to him now, everyone has the privilege of reading his book and learning about his mistakes and why he has been able to transform his life into what it is, literally from the lowest of the lowest that you will hear today, so ladies. and gentlemen, you've seen him in over one hundred and eighty episodes of Impulsive.

He is our co-host, our roommate, our business partner, and our best friend. It's Mike Malik, ladies and gentlemen, published author, this feels like, wait. I was going to ask them as if not. That's wrong, I like it, I can already tell you this is not right, guys, we're really making a change, we actually can, I'm fine, I guess, okay, you're the guest, Mike, and it's crazy because we were talking , we're like, we're like, I wonder if Mike can fill the space of this podcast, the one in the pockets where you're supposed to talk, do you think you can do it, the pressure is immense, yeah, I imagine, honestly, I already need a break, I can imagine being stressed about that. serious Mike, horrible for me I don't like being on this side of the desk even though I'm always trying to get attention when someone says here you go, it's yours.

I sweat, I get hot and I get nervous, yes, and that's exactly it. how I feel bro, embrace it, absorb it and by the way, how could you not? I've been having a conversation with Mac and there are people in the house and it's like that book you're holding in front of you. fifth vital I care a lot about you and by proxy I also care a lot about this book because it contains your life in it this is your life in a novel and you told me something you are like brother, hey, what if people don't?

I don't like it, this is my life, this is not a piece of fiction that you made, this is not fiction and it is directly related to you as a person. I can't imagine the amount of tremendous stress and emotion you are going through with the launch. of this book the first one this week has been stressful it has been I'm already stressed I'm already tired I'm already anxious and now I'm doing programs I'm doing programs like this I'm doing interviews it's uh Eight years of work have been invested in this book and the book itself contains, you know, 26 years leading up to that, so what this book means to me and to my life is tremendous, why I love this. for you, not only as a friend but as a partner, because normally throughout the timeline of a YouTuber's life they will do a couple of things with an adventure, they will make a song, they will start a podcast, they will publish a book and I have to do it. stop and say that this chair goes so far back, close it to the side, there is Chilean.

I know there are many YouTubers who release books. I would feel safe saying that there isn't even 5% of the substance you have in this book. This was something you told me you were doing before you even knew what YouTube was. One of the first things you said to me when we started developing our friendship was: Hey, man, I don't know if I told you that. but I've been writing a book for the last five years about my life because I also don't know if you know this, but I've been addicted to drugs for ten years and that claimed a better part of my life and I'm writing a novel and I write, you know , every night and the fact that it's coming to fruition now I just want to pick your brain about it and I know a lot of the answers to a lot of these questions, but I'm going to give you because beyond the eons of wisdom that I you have imparted to me and the impulsive audience, this book is a part of you that people have not seen and guarantees that our goal is to sell the book.

Be your goal is to sell the book, but I'm here to help, but there's also a lot to learn from this, yeah, I mean, this book is it, it's completely uncensored. When I wrote this book, there were a million times where I went back and forth with myself and said, is this it? appropriate is this something that you want to tell is something that you want people to know and every time I didn't, from a macro point of view, the easiest way for me to say this is that I didn't really, I really didn't want to tell this

story

it wasn't comfortable I did it it didn't feel good to tell the

story

I told in this book it hurt it was painful it brought back memories that um I'm already drowning right now because it's the feeling associated with those The memories are very painful for me when I started to writing it, there was going to be a lot of censors, censored things, there were going to be a lot of things that I kept out and it was going to be a simple story about drug addiction and rehab when you gave me a platform or a sniff of a platform no pun intended and people started to message me and tell me your story makes me feel this way your story I've struggled with this I've struggled with that my mom did this whatever your story is I feel good, it makes me want to move on, even some people who said your story It makes me feel like it's okay to be 27 and not know exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life because I was there.

I was 33 years old with no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life as soon as I started hearing those things. I never cut anything else. I really got back everything I had cut. That's all. That's all. Every twisted and sick regret. I can't understand the bad state I was in for doing the things I did in this book. I know I know some of these stories. Why are you comfortable with people knowing these things about you? To be honest, I'm not comfortable with it. Someone asked me: one of the reporters did a lot of interviews, a lot of press on the cover of this book and one of the reporters asked me how.

Right now I feel like I know this is all about to go away and I said It feels like someone is about to pull down my pants in front of everyone and I know it and there's absolutely nothing I can do to stop it and then, uh. was the question you said you're 9 that's what I'm saying because Mike I've had the pleasure you're a great speaker you tell great stories and you're hilarious and I've had the pleasure of a few nights a little A gem of a story will slip out of your mouth and I I say, well, pause, rewind, what are you saying?

Some of this stuff you have is like straight out of a movie and it would be crazy if this were ever adapted. to a movie that is already in talks no, not at all, yes, my partner and co-author Riley J. Ford has already had a couple or one of his books and it will be made into a Netflix movie, so he is already talking to you about this. I would love for that to happen, but yeah, I mean, I can give some context for people who don't know your background, like I'm sure you've touched on it.

I wonder what you were addicted to. Well, let's get into that. how bad it was as bad as it could be as bad as it could be this is not this is not something like me. I have an over prescription of and everything under the sun. I like to consider that I was one of the forgotten ones and people have already asked me. me and maybe you would know who this book was for why you wrote this book you have a youtube audience that wants to see you know how to jump from the roof into a ball pit mhm do that why are you doing this?

This book is for people who have nothing to live for because they have no hope left and that's exactly where I was from the age of 18 when sorry, I was 16 when they gave me my first oxycontin in a hospital bed because I had broken the femur, the feeling that that gave me the relief that it gave me from the thoughts that had been generated in my head since I was a child and the relief from the pain that I felt physically, emotionally and mentally, which was then followed by I was prescribed painkillers for months and I went through that cycle about five times for different surgeries I had in my life when it came time to have it when I was 18.

I tried my first oxycontin street tear down I smelled 20 milligrams of oxycontin and from that day on I always remember the days I was right down the street from my high school I was actually 17 years old I was a junior in high school when I was in the last year in In high school I was a full-blown addict and couldn't go to school. Could not. I did, but I was sweating much like you saw me sweat on the show, not from nervousness but from opiate withdrawal. I have two things: one, I think it's incredibly noble that you were as crude as you are in this book for the sake of people who were going through what you went through, don't take it offensively, but when you were at that stage And during that decade of struggling with substance abuse and addiction, were you reading or consuming content?

Well, they will take the proactive action of reading a 300 page book. It's a great question. It's a great question. And my answer is no. It depends on what you know, it depends on the attic level, it depends on how desperate their life is, it depends on what you know, their living situation. I mean when I was most of my addiction and most of my time dependent on drugs. and and and whatever I was homeless, you know? I'm saying I slept on couches, I slept, I slept in car trunks, I slept in, I slept outside, I slept in the street and there you know there was never A moment where I thought, "There's a new book coming out," except for once and that was when I took my first step to clean myself.

I went to rehab and you find yourself in a hospital with no hope, but hey, really. Let me, let me rephrase that you find yourself in a hospital with a new hope and a new kind of chance at life. In fact, I could do this every time and a lot of people, a lot of people who deal with addiction. He goes to rehab a few times but every time you go it's just a little spark like you know maybe this is the time and his family says maybe this is the time for him to make it right and they have that little hope, there it is. when you want this. book is when you want this book that's on the way you know when when you're in rehab when you're in rehab you have nothing to do you don't have you go to groups you spend a lot of time alone reflecting thinking about things you regret or things you wish you had have done better how you would have treated your wife better if the circumstances weren't the way they were and you have a lot of time to read you have a lot of time to read I read a lot when I was in rehab and this is a guy I think is a great piece for anyone. and I think we're in a different era now, a lot of the people who communicate with me on Twitter. on Instagram on Facebook or whatever or I'm currently addicted, you know, I'm two years old, five years old, eight years old, I've been shooting

heroin

.

I can't believe you're publishing this book like me. I have been going through this for so long and no one has ever spoken up for me. I've never seen a celebrity. I have never seen a youtuber. great and I will take this book to rehab centers. I don't care if I have to buy a thousand copies myself, since this book will be on the shelf. It should also be said that Mac took the recovery that I did, which is amazing, yes, Mike, I know your mother, yes, yes, I know your family, Robin, I know your sister, yes, it's her jewelry, all of it so sweet, so kind, how does a 17 year old boy from Connecticut, New Haven, Connecticut, become addicted to drugs with a loving family mother? sister father, all right, I think the most important part of the story is that it can literally happen to anyone, you know what I'm saying and it's, I mean, the biggest story here is that this book is a story of the past and it's a story of things that happened to me and I want it to be a story of hope so that people can move forward and hopefully experience any version of success for themselves, but the story mostWhat's important here, which is partially told, which is ongoing and present, is the fact that over 2 million people in this country right now are going through exactly the same thing that I want them to be your brothers, to be your sisters, to be your best friends or your mom, your dad, your teachers, your janitors, the people you know.

I knew him when he was a kid but I haven't heard from him in 15 years. Everyone knows someone who is fighting this opioid epidemic that has claimed thousands and thousands and thousands of lives in this country. How did it happen to me in the early 2000s? There was a wave of narcotic prescriptions written and in all honesty, a large portion of my graduating class was addicted to opiates by the time they graduated high school, all of them would have loving families, all of them with cute dogs with white picket fences. all of that, but there was such a saturation and such a massive amount of these pills that when they hit it was a tidal wave whose tidal wave and there are and there are shows about this like The Pharmacist on Netflix right now that are huge stories. about Purdue Pharma and its overprescribing is this is not the real thing I was going to read the what is a call at the beginning the preface not the o thank you your thanks or I receive thanks what is the meaning of knowledge some knowledge you mention yes, you gave the acknowledgments to all the that you felt like they played a pivotal role in your life and then at the end you told Purdue Pharma that, yeah, you've been very outspoken about the opioid epidemic.

I mean, imagine if there was a beer, imagine if there was a type of cocaine that was everywhere it was just one brand one brand made this a brother company with all the thousands of other competitors all the other thousands of pills on the market one pill did this the holy grail of narcotics that unlocks echo you you Track down any story of opiate addiction right now and there are a ton and that's another reason I almost didn't write this book. The prevalence of those stories is saturated, since yes, yes, unfortunately for my competitors they do not have millions of subscribers and Paul. podcast but uh but um it all goes back to a place Stamford Connecticut how ironic the last city I lived and worked in before moving here Purdue Pharma I'm calling the conspiracy crazy, he did it to himself, this is the Sackler family, one of the most powerful families in the world produced this magical thing they called it the miracle drug the miracle pill is oxycontin it was going to be the pill that would solve all the problems of the chronically ill you take this pill has a time release seal when you take it and the pill with it, the seal will allow the pill to be released at a rate so that the person can take one pill and be fine for two days.

Now these are terminally ill or chronically acute cancer patients with a Q pain somehow, whether they knew it was going to happen or not as soon as that pill the people on the street figured out how to take the time to seal it. I learned how to take the time to seal a toxic around the age of 17 at my friends Mitsubishi in this in the past kindergarten is that he played bone bullies and harmony. I sucked on a stamp of 8 and 80 milligram oxycontin, which then made that temporary release completely useless and allowed you to erase the pill and turn it into banned

heroin

.

Wow, and at that moment. support just before toxic in things from 20 years ago, when your parents partied with my parents partied, we had quaaludes, we had the Wolf of Wallstreet on the show, yes, there were quaaludes, there were always different mood-enhancing pills and this and that and there was percocet there is vicodin Purdue Pharma put thirty-two percocets behind a while it actually stamps thirty-two, so when you look at that pill you say oh, that's a pill. I have taken one of those. I have taken it. I have taken a percocet before. I could eat oxycontin and you just left your first play as a freshman, your freshman in high school and you go to a party and you played basketball at night and your team won and someone says, this is like a percocet man. , takes one of these 80 milligrams of oxygen chokes to death on his vomit in the back seat of the car high school freshman that story happened or happened to his cell phones $1,000 help make it in chalk in high school yeah, our gender or the generation just above us, I think I told you this in our town, that was my, that would have been me, right, our high school was nicknamed hot heroine, right, you guys had a great play, yeah, we just They missed me, but I did until I met them. and you explained this problem to me.

I wasn't aware of how prevalent the opioid epidemic was. Yes, yes, it's huge. I already told you about this. It's actually scary to say, but it happened to me. I'm 14. I had kidney surgery and I started taking pills and then I wanted to take more and then I would get more, I didn't look for them but their doctor prescribed them to me, did you know he ever told you this? I'm addicted to heroin, but I was prescribed strong opioids and once you start taking them, you take them because it makes you feel good. In fact, I will.

I will not take painkillers after my surgeries. They always give me vicodin and never, because I am. I'm too afraid of sinking into a hole I don't have. I have an addictive personality and I know that's not a place I want you and Noble to ignore me and that brings up another conversation that I've personally struggled with and every addict deals with on a daily basis, which is the question of choice versus illness. Hmm, the widely discussed point is that addiction is a disease today, just as the medical community claims it is a treatable chronic disease, but there are many people who say, but whose choice is it to try drugs in the first place hmm it's a vet is a valid point it's at least something I'm willing to discuss or debate hmm whose choice is it to get sick so people wage war first prescribed that's it that's the main art like prescription narcotics and you become addicted to them, it wasn't your choice, right, Sutton and the crazy people will say, well, it's sure not the same way you say, but I've done it.

I had surgery and I didn't take painkillers so other people should, like there's a general answer which there isn't, but there's always a debate going on and the bigger story is that this is treated lightly. I wish it were. I wish I had talked about a little more about the most important thing we need to talk about today is that there is an eternal and unbreakable link between substance abuse and another very important issue which is mental illness. The link between mental illness and drug abuse is practically 100% unique. -one, if you find a drug addict, you've probably found someone suffering from a semi-immense level of mental illness, so saying that it's an option for someone to use drugs for the first time is discounting or not taking that into account. the mental illness that may have pushed someone to try drugs for the first time and so listen, there are a lot of people who fortunately have the luxury and this is another excerpt I wish I could read.

This book is loaded with these points. In the afterthoughts, I wrote this article saying to the person who has never suffered something like: "May you understand the luxury and privilege you have received in this life. May you too, I pray that you too see the importance." and the ability to spread the light that you've been given to less fortunate people and understand, and I said it on the show and I think it's the most cut part that's ever happened, plus O'Reilly read deep throat, but when I gave that speech about depression, yes, in the Evans episode, which is now the most watched episode, if you know anyone who is struggling with depression, anxiety, drug abuse, or self-mutilation, I urge you to Find a way to add some kind of value. into that person's life and that usually comes through self-discovery, patience, just trying a little harder to be empathetic with what that person is going through and it's not easy, we talk about all of this unless it's fascinating how you do it. through self-discovery.

Because for me, patience, the word I should use is what I need. I need to improve on this. If I ever do it, it probably won't happen again, but in a scenario where I might be helping a friend now or something, my light. My attempt to bring light to the world is because I feel blessed in that, I wouldn't say that I suffer inherently and many people make my light, it is my attempt to do what I do, make the content an attempt to get people far from what whatever is happening, just distractions, yes, yes, except I know it can be better with the people around me and it is achieved through self discovery, like you said, patience is the most important thing in a surrender, um empathy, that we've talked about before on the show.

It's super internalized. The answers don't float here. You find them within yourself and then you project them onto the people you love and say you care. This is a deep topic, yes. it's and it's hard too and it's hard to like this show it's supposed to be upbeat and it's supposed to be exciting and especially you, especially you're going to be funny and be this guy the way he is uh It's really a challenge for me because I want to. laugh, I want to joke, but it's like every time I make a joke or every time I talk in the last episode or the one that comes out next, it's like every time we are.

I would like to cash a check for something as bad as something meaningless that I do. It's like I have this little thing in the back of my mind. It's like you. What are you doing for next generation usage? What are you doing for the people who are at the bottom right now, what are you doing and are you trying to make those people feel better? It's always in the back of my mind, you know what I say and that's this, this is this, this is what I hope my offering to those is? people who can read this and who can feel better.

Did you have a rock bottom moment in all this lost time? What was really the lowest point of your life? Is it in that book? Yes, there is, there is. a lot of um, most of them for me we focus on my mother, um, you know my mom, you know how close I am to her, yeah, and you know how important she is to me, you know what I'm saying and That's why most of my downs and bottoms were resolved by hurting my mom, not you, I'm saying it's a, it's a there, I don't know if there is a pain in this world worse than hurting the person who made you, Do you know what I'm saying or what's worse than hurting the person who gave everything to make you who you are and keep you alive as a child?

Know? And uh, most of my regrets and my pain come from that, but honestly, I guess it's related to, but I've talked about this a little bit, but my lowest point, my true lowest point was in 2010. I started a new medication because they offered it to me at my lowest point, you know, no. thinking point of my life crack cocaine and crazy brother like think about what I'm telling you right now don't think about I'm telling you like it was I was just a normal white kid from Connecticut and me and I wore white clothes it's just because, whether you know it for some reason, but crack is generally thought of as an inner city drug, so your suburbs know Mike in your privileged communal middle class community and at one point someone offered me crack and I tried and what followed was the worst year of my life and, ironically or sadly and unfortunately, that moment coincided with another massive struggle in my mother's life, which was when she began to accept the fact that her father was about to die and my mom and my grandfather were that one of those historic relationships between mom and dad my grandfather fought in Okinawa survived World War II survived the Great Depression he was a warrior and against all odds he provided what was right for my family for my mom and his brother that he loved so much and when she found out that she had Parkinson's and dementia and that she was unfortunately going to die in a state where we talked about what just happened to your grandmother, yeah, that ruined her, I realized account and I write about it in the book. he destroyed her inside and she reached a point where she had no one to turn to.

He didn't have enough money to put it into a house. They were going to take her house back. It was just an unfortunate, unfortunate circumstance and she was like, “Me.” I think she just dug inside her and said, Hey, can you go wash daddy? All you have to do is these three things, like every day, just make sure he doesn't leave the house, commit suicide like he falls down the stairs. like you shouldn't be doing these things and everything inside me wanted to say yes mom, I could do this right, maybe six months to a year later, I hadn't started taking this new medication and there was a day when my grandpa was in his recliner, he was downstairs and he was, he was just screaming like help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, like he was stuck in the chair, he couldn't get up and he had to go to the bathroom.

It was probably like peeing and it was in the worst way you can imagine and I was in the attic smoking crack. I was paranoid and couldn't help my grandfather and honestly, that moment will never be erased from my memory. mind is how can I do I can do so much and how could II would like to try to help other people a lot, but there will always be things I can't get rid of. You know, I say it like I never, just there, so, uh, that was definitely mine, that was definitely lost, boy, sure, you know that?

It was a low point, so you keep doing what you were doing no, I knew it, I knew it, I knew I was in trouble, I think at the time it's crazy to imagine, but people like it when they get into that kind of place. in in your life there comes a point where there comes a point where you accept the fact that you're, you're done, uh no, you're done, it's over, it's over, it was, it was, it was, it was going to come out. how Mike can lack the heroin addict that was my that was my my life I was 20 I was 25 and I had accepted and also my mother my mother had accepted that fact we were not even when she was when I moved to her father's house, she was at peace with the fact that her son was going to die from this epidemic, so it was open, your mom knew about this, oh yeah, once you get to that level and you get to that level there's no way to hide it my parents knew I was a drug addict when I was 20 when they hurt me or even when I was 19 they knew something was going on was their open conversation about it or did they just let it slip about the naughty I was a I was a I was a psychopath I was a psychopath You might not like this that most of this book are stories from when I first worked with my first partner on this and a lot of similar things.

Many people ask me how you wrote this book because I see another author's name. I wrote every part of this book word for word, every piece. There is not a single piece written for me. What I needed was someone. come in and do was organize strategies, where is this going to go? how is it going to work? when I brought the first one and he started reading it, he kept marking sections of the book and saying, you can't say this because it makes it look like people want you to, it makes it look like you want people to believe it really happened oh and I'm like, No, no, that happened, there is evidence of it, there is a police officer who has a report of it, as if the stories in this book were so good.

You're so excited bro, most people will probably say, "There's no way this makes a habit like how many times I've seen the inside of my body, it's horrible how many times I've seen shattered bones." I woke up in pools of blood with my foot here my left foot here right here friend next to my head I love this story he tells usually it's funny or not so serious that was the skin yeah what do you say? You saw her. your foot next year reaches my head more than half an inch and blood around it. I looked, I opened my eyes and they are people.

It was when I had my first oxycontin because of that accident. There were people looking around me. They looked at me and dragged me down the hill. I try to laugh at that. It's ridiculous now, but I was dragged down a hill on a snowmobile and had to have surgery. I remember my mother was in it. phone I was four hours from home, everyone else was gone for the day because they were like, oh, we have to take this bus back to Connecticut, we're in Killington, Vermont, skiing at my mom's house, all I remember is this little glimpse of my mom. like crying and I woke up and I was in traction my foot was stuck to the ceiling because they had to separate the fallen femur they put a titanium rod in my femur and then they screwed it into my hip and my knee that was that I should have died.

I should have died from the splenectomy a year earlier when I ruptured my spleen and then I went in and cut my whole stomach open and took out one of my vital organs like in this story and that's why I knew I had to write it. That's why I knew I had to say it. I thought: What about the only way his leg got caught in the pothole? Yes, that was in 2008 and, by the way, the worst injury, although it is not the most life-threatening. just tell the story, although the story quickly, this is at a time when I'm selling a lot of heroin, much like it got to a point where this whole thing was in trouble for saying this now, no, I think I think it's already happened. those real limitations, Jed, you can go ahead and check me out now, but it's all in the book, so it's okay, come find me, buddy, today is tomorrow, okay, it's all in the book, but I was doing everything I did to support my own addiction.

If so, it was how I was going to do it and it was so, even the worst possible. I was making other people's lives miserable at the time. I thought he was a doctor. Sick people would come to me. It would make them not sick. I felt really good about that, obviously, now I see the damage in my way, yes, but also, at home, I was trying to take care of my desk by itself, like how am I going to get drugs today, was always the question, that's the same question. He's asked himself the same question every day, it's the only question you've ever asked yourself, so I'm going to meet this kid, I mean, this kid had meat, he was a merchant in the same town as me, and he's always there. this box, I hope you know.

Many people don't know what it is, but there are many problems between Connects City. You don't want other people touching your customer base. You don't want other people touching your socket. You want to have everything. it's all you want all the beers this kid couldn't get drugs that day he was dry and a lot of customers he wanted to serve it was Memorial Day 2008 it's a West Haven Connecticut I'm really not okay, I'm leaving. I find myself at home, I wake up, brand new Infiniti G35, I didn't pay, I paid it partially, my grandmother helped me, she was my semi-facilitator of the group, she took care of me at all costs, I get up and I'm going to sell drugs to this child and he says, come on, give it to me, I was like bro, give me the money, you know how this works, I won't give it to you until you give me the money and he's like, no, man, I want to run. inside and I put it on the scale, I was like, give me the money or I'm leaving, you know how this goes and he says, you think I have to beat you and he pulls out a wad of bills and starts counting, he has a big gold chain on a wife-beating classic like Street I Red Solo Cup and I'm like, wow, whatever, but I'll get my boys to let me let him be alone, so I put it in his hand and he's like, can you do something? . about that and he leaves.

I can't, I can't tell you the number of times I went above and beyond when someone tried to hit me. They are not in this book. I jumped on the hood of moving cars and was run over. the street at 6 you don't beat me brother I know, there is a story where the kids try to do it and I jump on the side of the car and they speed away, they pull the steering wheel and I go flying into the street and I lost the skin fell all over my body. I don't want to get hit when you get to the Derby, we might get hit like you don't want to get killed.

Ok, so he saw that he was a psychopath and said that you won. brother, the moment he turned around my doors were already open, I was behind him so he started moving fast and I walked behind him and literally threw a punch at the back of his head and between. It's like a little hole in the driveway, but there's like a cement ledge, so my foot gets stuck in there and his guy, who I didn't know was on the side of the house waiting for all this to happen, comes and me. It drills from the side, I mean, it drills into me completely and I just listen, and then the shock sets in because I've been through this scenario 15,000 times and that shouldn't be happening, so you go into military mode, so I start to evaluate it now for true now I'm on the ground the first thing I do I look down I see that my foot is at 180 completely hanging to the side skin broken bone piercing the skin compound fracture horrified now I look up and there are fists approaching my face fixed fists fists again and again again so I get up my legs dangling from the neighbors are outside there is heroin on the ground there is cash everywhere my children get out of the car from the back seat of the Infiniti they run over and hit Of the two children, my boy, I don't even go to say their names, one of them strangles him, we recover the product.

I, GI Joe, crawl into my passenger seat, get in the car and we speed off, okay? Now we're in West Haven we were speeding down the street. For some reason, I had also brought a ton of product to the deal, so I had a ton on me, we had to stop and return it. out of my son's soccer or that, we stopped there now keep in mind that this is most people it's like an ambulance, get to the hospital. First I have to go quit drugs. I'm not going to the hospital. I can not risk. so we go, we leave everything, we leave everything at the house and he's driving and every time he doesn't drive, so every time he puts it in second gear, my foot is bad, you don't know how to operate the clutch. bad rookie mistake rookie mistake so we get to it, we get to I-95, which is an infamous part of my store, you know, and everyone on the east coast is yelling East Coast I 95 you know what I'm talking about, come up to i-95 we're going to we're going to the ramp and we were about to go to Milford Hospital we're going to drive from West Haven to Milford we get to the ramp I see the light I'm like we're home free from all the ordinances at the same time crimes serious narcotics unit team dogs every friend uniformed cop undercover detectives all converging on us at the same time as we are about to turn onto the ramp in the middle of the road they are directing cars around us I'm sitting like this with my hands in the air my foot hanging from my body my other boys are already face down in the middle of the street handcuffed to a 20 year old police officer with that gun get out of the car screaming now I'm sitting there like a child in this point in slow motion, you know you know that the player II is an idea, I feel good, an officer in slow motion looks damn, mom, what do I care if you have a leg, get out of the car, so I have to do it then. with his arm he pulled me and threw me to the concrete where I stayed for two hours while they searched my car for weapons because the neighbors who called the police said there was an armed robbery with guns, they put my foot on my golf bag with my golf clubs in it I probably should I was probably playing golf with my dad that weekend before in some trying to have a normal life somewhat resembling a normal life when I sat there and they searched the car they did, fortunately not No I found nothing because they found a couple of empty bags it wasn't a big deal but then they took me to the hospital and that was just another thing oh yeah side note they put two plates and twenty screws in my ankle injury even with the the splenectomy the hernia the skull fracture all the concussions all the car accidents that day in 2008 and that injury has the biggest effect of my life that's your price there are no pictures of this but after I cleaned myself up because I weighed 300 pounds , that's funny you say I ever stopped, there's the ankle, yeah this was dope Mike, I'm so glad I don't know this person, the car above is that g35, no, why is that like that?

Mike why is there a tree in the engine Mike because a couple of months after that he drove it off a cliff Jesus Christ off a cliff okay so this is what I say like he's my son. I've heard hundreds of these stories like they're one after another, which is crazy and one part of that story, um, the audience may have missed is that before the police pulled you over, you said you had dropped the product, I had a lot, yes, if you hadn't left the product, how many years in prison would it be? that you've been serving was probably the second or third most items I've ever had at my first stop because there was a time or that's also in history where for anyone rushing I had thirty-five packages on me, which It's about three hundred and fifty bags of heroin and he already had a five-year suspended sentence in the state of Connecticut, which means a fine for jaywalking or a misdemeanor for jaywalking or any type of misdemeanor.

I would have committed 50 to 80% of my five... one year term without a charge, not a new charge. I probably based it on that amount or even a few grams of heroin, I probably would have been like ten, ten or more years old. I refer to Mike as the walking miracle because how many times he should have died. or going to prison, it's absolutely crazy, it's not like any story I've ever seen in movies, so I think it would be a phenomenal movie and I want to play you, but yeah, a guy like that is why people call him, Hey, Big Mike. way because I asked him and I said, hey, why is his Instagram account big?

Michael, you're not that big, are you? He says oh, you don't know, I used to be 300 pounds and it's so funny and funny because, like all those little tenants and those little stories. I want to talk to that victim about it because think about it. There are people who will publish entire books on weight loss. I did all that and went through the same thing, but that's just a small part of it. people want to suffer from mental illness you see me sweat you see me sweat you know I wake up with bone-chilling anxiety every day andI deal with depression all of that every day and I have coping mechanisms and I could tell that story make that story hmm drug addiction divorced parents beat each other like all that happened to me so I tried to put a little bit of all of that and, most importantly, the action steps in this book, yes, that's right.

Why I wanted to talk about tricks because we could literally go as far down the rabbit hole as up. that has happened in your past the important thing and this is maybe why we are even such good friends is the compact the bounce the Shinya is the word you like Redemption why could it be the salon could be the only tattoo that's the most important word to me oh I've been obsessed with that word ever since mm so when I heard Logan Paul it gave me a platform a Lots of Rhodes has given me a lot more views.

I've had it whatever you want to call it. It's from the day I was born, dude, whatever you want to say, I was in the gifted program from fourth grade through high school. Your child has an aptitude well above average. Do you know what's so funny? You sent us the group chat. It's one of the report cards from when I was 6 years old and the comment was that the teacher who left was like a very smart kid who tends to talk out of turn, nothing has changed, but yeah, I always knew I had it, but the biggest. story, no matter how smart you are, no matter how well trained or versed you are in this life, your card can be drawn at any time, at any time, you are not invincible and I wasn't and I wasn't, I fell victim a little bit if you want to call it choice you want to call it disease whatever you want to call it I fell into a hole a bet in mind it was bad it was bad as you could see you know what I'm saying and I believe that The most important thing that comes out of that story of choice, choice versus illness that I told before, whether you think about the attic at the end of your street or that lives in your house or a member of your family or whatever it was that chose to do it or it was the addiction that I did it to them my question is does this matter?

Does it matter what the reason was? The most important thing is that these are people I was a person I no longer believed it I no longer believed it - I was nothing, I was prepared and ready for a coffin, that was my destiny, it was to die addicted to heroin, but as people said : you know you have something in you, my mom says: I still love you, it's hard as hard as it was to tell her that those are the things that helped me get through it and the most painful thing for me is always imagining the lonely addicts out there outside, imagine the Vietnam veterans, imagine the Iraqi Freedom veterans of Iraq living under the bridges in this country right now are addicts. to drugs without anyone without anyone to put a hand on your shoulder and say "it's going to be good" keep putting your foot in front of each other one in front of the other keep going keep pushing forward that's the whole story of this book from the first page the dedication whatever you want to call this book is this book is dedicated to those who struggle don't let your light go out that's my that's the message of this book my light dimmed so much to a certain point where there were only a few people left holding this match at the end of a 500 mile tunnel that I knew wasn't intended and I knew I would never make it to the end, but still, that light little guy was the only one.

What kept me going was the only thing that kept me going and if that light goes out, it's over so you have to find what that light is for you have to find what it is that will keep you going what everything else fails what was it for you , for me, it was for me, it was my mom one hundred percent and it was also my addiction to what I have told you, guys, what is my addiction to legacy and wanting to leave something on this planet before me. die that stayed with me throughout my addiction no matter how bad it got and luckily I don't want to get on the phone and reveal this actually there was a there was one thing that happened at my worst that's it, it literally saved my life and and and it was yeah, once again, it's another moment where someone pulls your card like it's so much fun in this world that everyone has some level of taste, no matter where they are, they get some level of ego or something.

You like it, they have that feeling of invincibility and then they just know that someone can literally pull that off. Is this, I, that's just a pivot point, yeah, I think you know it was something that person did, yeah, yeah, it's these fascinating moments, yeah. I was going to save it, but the reason it's fascinating to me is because of how quickly everyone has changed. It doesn't make sense to me, but I want to save it for the book. Can I read an expert excerpt you provided? With that I think it fits well here I tell myself every day you will not give up in the face of adversity you will look at every obstacle every obstacle every demon in your face you will lower your shoulders and overcome that without hesitation or regret I think that is what separates the who make it from those who don't.

This is the mindset that got me through the most horrible days of my addiction and it is the same mindset that pushes me through every moment I face today in my new career. In this new situation, I tell myself that if I am able to let this mentality seep into every cell of my body, I will never be able to lose and this applies to everyone I know for sure, it's okay, don't take it as something personal in my mind. Yeah, no, I don't imagine you as a fighter physically, you know, like a competitor, right, but what you're describing here is a warrior mentality, so for people who are like me, brother, I shed the primitive .

I'm gonna beat you up, bro, like when I was dying on the bathroom floor because Hot Chip Mac used the word fight and I was like I was dying, I was like holy to you, so where you the warrior when are you against me? I'll take this personally as you, you, you're not an inherent physical warrior, yeah, the warrior manifests in many ways, in many ways, I mean, it's, it's never, you know, just the alpha fighter, that's just one aspect. warrior's physique. the warrior is the greatest, the greatest and one attribute of the warrior has nothing to do with the appearance of him, the style of his fighting, it is the fact that no matter what happens, they will not give up, yes, it does not matter . oh I've gotten to the point where there's two of you hitting me in the head while I was completely finished on the ground and there and everything in me was trapped crab legs punch block shot I won't go down, to a human? substance for anything, brother, I will fight, not that I will not fall, but I will do everything in my power not to and now that is now what is manifesting in you.

Tomorrow you're going to MTV and you have anxiety and you have to sit in front of 400 people and as you walk through that curtain into that audience I'm on that stage you know you're going to collapse you know it I knew it I knew it 100% without the slightest doubt that I was going to break down the question and then it becomes: Will you continue later? Will you stay in the game or run away? I wrote it in this book, Chapter Two, One, Episode One, Impulsive Nerves Run Crazy, Easiest Thing to Do, Logan, I Have a Mental Problem. illness, I have a problem, I can't do this show with you, I didn't do that, I sat here and solved it, man, I faced my problem and I came out victorious, it wasn't pretty, but it gets. better every day, every day you come face to face with your demons and you say, you will not defeat me, I will defeat you, you are one day closer to being free of those demons, there is no honest and honest answer, how much of that would you give to the pride?

That's a great question because I've seen it come from the place you're describing and I've also seen it come from a place of pride that's not always the smartest, I mean you. You're human, we're all like that, but when two guys hit you, I imagine you like I know you. I could be wrong, but I imagine you still struggling with that, like a big mouth, my big daddy, I made exactly that speech. you just said with a loaded gun in your mouth to the teeth in Bridgeport Connecticut we talked about Mike we know you thought after one it's okay actually let me let me rephrase that because the standing on a barrel thing has happened to me many times and I don't want to and I don't want to sound too harsh here because because because you're a sipper now no, it probably happened less than 10 times, that's vodka less than 10 times also a lot of guys, five of them were white friends of mine or kids that I sold to, I said a little bit out of pride, a little bit, EE left a little bit, he didn't care about my life at that time, it was always give me everything you have, give me the oxys give me the money in Milford my response was you pulled the trigger: although every time that I made it to the big leagues and I was in Bridgeport and I'm not calling names in this about names from a book change, You owe our organization $10,000 and now I'm watching you say this.

Our guys say this to my plug. You owe our organization $10,000 if we don't have it by next week, where you're going to kill everyone in this house. then we don't have the money because we had collected it from other connections burned as if this was during a very desperate time the same guy comes in black this is what people see in the movies that people see this happens in music videos that they see in real life It's a very different situation from the one I told you about the armchair general before this, when you see that guy who you know has the body of a brother.

He knew that this guy was the baddest man he had ever met, he was a bulldog sent by the people. who makes sure we got paid when he rolled around in this black hoodie of a day black hat black mechanic gloves black jeans and black boots with a hand that didn't come out of his hoodie pocket I knew we were in trouble walks through the door rear he had just given us the warning exactly a week before, where is the money? The moment my Kinect said we were working on it, gun in the face, blood so hard splattered on the wall in front of me, the guy falls to the ground and I hit him. in his face with a nine millimeter for four minutes until I finally got up and said, please stop hitting him, you're going to kill him right now, you're going to kill him in front of me on the ground, those two girls with me, I was we.

They were sitting on his bed on a bridge in the basement of a trap house in Connecticut and I walked up to him and said please put my hands together like this and he put the gun in my face and every time I said you, Bulger was gone. Through the window. and I didn't say anything and I just stood there like that and that's how a lot of people just stood there silently while someone decides their fate and honestly, like I have guns, we have guns, but it's like that situation is like that. as if they were really about to start a war at this moment it is a big problem this was not an intruder it was someone who came representing an organization of people that would have become a bloodbath for everyone and within that things happened they continue to deteriorate I stopped going about two months later the DEA raided that facility their other outlets facility the restaurant they bought with drug money spent nine and a half years in a federal penitentiary their outlet or the gun pistol whipped no I don't think they ever trouble, Frank, I'm sure he did after that.

You know, it's crazy how I've heard these stories before and when you tell them and by the way, you're doing a great job. probably some of the best friend problems I've ever heard oh yeah you're killing it bro you really know they called me. I got a pass for a while in Bridgeport at least I was white Mike, that's me. I was cleaning my yellow white Michael. He's good, why not? hey, why Mike, I should do better, but I got it because there's a lot of people watching this, bro, this is another big thing, a lot of people watching this, you're like this, simple, this guy, no, that's that.

I'm saying there's a lot of things too, Mike, there's a lot of things in Mike's past that you'll hear him say like I, I used to be addicted to drugs and drugs and you don't know the weight that phrase has and you. You're funny You're funny You're the funny guy right? So it's hard to believe that these things happened and that's it and it's 100% accurate. You're like it's 100 sittings. Everything really happened. There is an account for each one. piece of and also like it's not always like me, it's crazy to imagine that I always wanted to talk to you about fighting, but man, I did it in the street, I fought a lot, I fought a lot and I lost someone that I once saw, Yeah, there was a, I believe you, I just like to meet them like that, I can't go above, say, 5,000 6,000 feet of elevation, telling you to take care of this, if I take care of Saenko, which I will.

I have to get what is called fusion. This is exciting. Another exciting fusion of semi-history. They will go into my ankle. They will remove the plates and screws from my ankle, but while they are there, they will also remove my entire ankle joint. Do not do it. Take it out of my light completely and then they will fuse my leg bone with my foot bone in what looks like a right, that will make it better because the pain that exists in it, which is the reason I lame or limp. or whatever you want to call it, it's arthritis that exists above and below the joint, there's no cartilage, there's no cartilage left in my ankle, so when my boneit's how you find the notes I took a while ago doo-doo-doo words you know you used, I found out I found your text machine washable writing washable because I know what no one is going to use that except when I clicked on it because I was going to take a screenshot, I was too far back lost in the texting ether, but Mike asked me to write as a teaser or something like a prelude to his book, it's like a little teaser and I put.

I met Mike when he was selling bean bags when he was a kid on social media trying to get free furniture. I had no idea that the marketing manager I was texting would soon become my best friend, business partner, and roommate. I see that most people fall for Mike's charisma and deceptive intelligence, but I don't. I like Mike because he was able to get me free, BPA-free bean bags though. as he continued to provide me with shredded memory foam stuffed inside a sack that I realized the kid had some real courage as a sponsor. I enjoyed every second.

Cut it off with Mike. The conversations were a jovial and pragmatic effort. It was a blossoming love story. Can two Brokeback Mountains do without gay sex? Shortly after I rescued Mike from his stable of secure, lucrative, kinetic corporate work, he brought him primarily into my life, i.e. digital media, he quickly became the big brother I never had and never wanted. . There are many things I like about Mike. His ability to navigate through the shit storm would emerge victorious. His interpersonal communication. abilities his humor I have been fortunate to experience the ripple effects of his incomparable energetic brilliance as he continues to make me the best version of myself.

Mike is an invaluable and irreplaceable counterpart, but he's fine too, so I'm here to ask you. Why did you leave your job in Connecticut to join this and help me overcome many obstacles in my life? Because he wasn't in a good place as much as I'd like to pretend he was. I was 9 years old, that's why I can. I didn't even read that passage much because I can't, for the life of me I can't identify what I was thinking if someone asked me during that time why why did you do this I used to answer that question I used to do it I used to go it's hard to say but I guess I don't know I don't know the answer now so again I'll ask you for your diamond I'll let you talk this time plan why Mike no matter how bad my life changed when I was doing the things I was doing there was always a part of me that was filled with intense love and passion for other people, that was something that never left, never left even though I did things that I counteracted that and contradicted that all the time and out of self-preservation and desperation I didn't do horrible things , but I always had that part of me that just loved people.

I really, really love people. Love. Be friends with the people I love. make their lives better there is nothing that makes me feel better than that and I have always been very good at I have always been good at helping people giving advice also accompanying people in difficult times when I met you and we became friends It was a very loud part of your life there were a lot of people involved and a lot of people some were great some were very bad when I came in the only thing I knew for sure was which of those people I was and there was a debate about it, there was a debate between members from the family about it, there was a debate about business people about it all the time, but I knew more than anyone that the only reason I was doing what I was doing was because I loved you, I already loved you and you were.

I'm already a very good friend of mine. I wanted you to get through whatever it was, whether it was the good or the bad, we were supposed to start working together and we were supposed to be counterparts before Tokyo that we were working on. this huge influence or arm of a maverick business and I was going to take over and I was already meeting with Jeff, yeah, I think that's a good reference point to say that you were never meant to be talented, but you were destined to be absolutely the city ​​chief. yes, the head of marketing talent, yes, and then as we know, there is a part in this book that you don't want to read and I completely understand that one of the most momentous moments happened and it was momentous for me because it was my next step in the life and when it happened to him it also happened to me and not more than a month later there was a follow up where he monetized your channel and created more havoc for you. the rat, what the rat was, yes, and many people don't know it, but I went crazy UNH.

I beat everyone, you're fair to everyone. I'll give us some context, yes, so after Tokyo I did the right thing. Which I didn't send to the review team that we had just implemented because Mike was like, mm-hmm, one of the most perfect definitions of self-sabotage, a bit like me. I didn't show it to the people who were placed. around me just because I was being a jerk, a villain, um and you got so mad, you got so mad. I remember being on the flight from JFK and I was still on the tarmac dropping off Jeff. It's good to come back here because I was going to come back here. very often at that time, but I'm still going back to the cycle of love balancing it and I was mad at you, you did it again, Jeff, the other people who were part of the team and everyone didn't yell at you, eat a lot, but I probably did. you did, but it was an idiot what you did, but anyway that was like when I started transitioning to the team, but the one thing that was always there was the belief that I was doing all this because I really cared about you as a person and that was the reason and it never existed there was always a all of you what you still have to this day you have this filter you know what this person was doing this you knew from the beginning that I was that I was a good person you knew that I just did it I knew and that's why we still know, this is not in the book, so I guess there are a couple of things that can be done when talking about sugar, no, not about shrimp, similarly, the night of garage or the hat the first time I was there, yes, yes, that one of the At the worst moment, you know everything with everyone and we want the names, names or anything, but you stood up to your own family members in my defense , you threw your hands about to throw your hands in a near fall fight and, um, I've done it.

I can say without hesitation and without thinking at all that I am a good person. I know I was raised as a good person. My mother hasn't put that in me. My grandmother and my father. All about me. Not all. I have some drawbacks, but at heart, I'm a good person and that's why I said because of your point. I know it's funny, but I knew that if I walked away from everything during a point that wasn't your best or brightest, it would go away. to exercise hmm and I'm and I'm glad I did it and anyway it was horrible for a while, even with the um, even with the shrimp hit thing, like when Mike and I broke up for a week, my conclusion was and A Sometimes it takes me a while to come to these conclusions.

I never questioned Mike's intention and we talked a little about this. Andre and Gary Vaynerchuk told me this after Tokyo that the intention doesn't always equal the result. Sometimes yes. No matter what your intention is, its execution in this specific scenario with you is done because I know you like it. I know your intention is that it's always been good and that's why it was good, it was good, um no, I. I guess I'm just saying I guess I could personally, but I think it's something that I always was deep down, but then I was able to push it away for so long and now I try to let it govern everything I do and then it hit me. this about you actually for the first time when I forgot where we were we were driving in the Yeti somewhere there was a homeless man at a gas station and you're like yeah he has 20 bucks I don't have any cash. about me I was like I was like I don't have any cash he doesn't either, but what about him like like I just like I don't know how to just how to do this and forever since I've seen you chasing homeless men throwing your money like they were running away from you, yeah did you ever take my money?

I didn't do it and by the way, as you know, say what you want about that act, there's more there, I like it, I hope I always hoped that they would take more from the conversation I have with them I'm not I'm not a I don't want to be never the hair money guy I want I want to know what's going on How do you feel today like you? I think you, the party that was left out of that was the one that gave them a big hug: it's a gas station. I know exactly, yeah, yeah, it's funny because when we go to the Watts Watts empowerment center and I'm playing with the kids.

With privileged children, the children broke down every time. I wonder what they do Mike. I wonder what everyone on the team is doing. It's interesting to see who resonates with what. I really enjoyed being with the children. I look at Mike and you're always talking. for the teenagers, the ones who probably have real problems now instead of just being kids and some are even older, yes the reason is that those kids are thankfully thankful for the people who work at the watts empowerment center and other places like um, they're being raised and raised in an environment that instills value in their moral fiber um and they're being given the things that they need to do so that when they're 13 years old. 15 18 years old can make the right decisions unfortunately the 18 the 20 years old the 22 years old the 26 years old who have been fucking since they were 13 they have been working on the streets they have been selling on the corner since they were 13 years old they lost that opportunity they didn't have a Watson Powerman Center and they had it were not in it and you probably know that and I like to think and this is another great point for the book.

I like to think that when people know my story, they're willing to let me in and tell me there's um, you know what I'm saying, so when I sit down with the guys who might have caught a body last week, you know what I do . I'm saying and I and I like that drug addiction isn't the only all-consuming evil, yeah gangbangers, mental illness is huge and we've barely scratched the surface. Everyone suffers, everyone suffers. I talk about this. I talked about this in this book. The suffering of everyone. although different it's the same I was addicted for eight years someone else lost a child someone else lost an arm someone else stubbed their toe and that's it every single one of those people has endured the worst pain they've ever endured whether it's a heel or or some other pain is only relative to the person who has gone through it and therefore if you are suffering, if you are in pain, then we can relate, but it is that, that relationship, that ability for someone to say that you have . suffered in a similar way as I have suffered to a similar degree to which I have suffered there is nothing I have said before I don't think there is any community in this world as powerful as those who suffer the ability to relate to another person who has a story similar to yours, I desperately wish that every addict that every mental element suffers from had a mirror, a person like them who had a similar story that they could just talk to because it did wonders for me, man, it did wonders for me to talk to people , bro and not everyone has and I feel really bad for the people who don't have anyone because they're watching the show right now.

Is it worth it if there were people in the book and in the book? I have a couple more things, but I think they are something very deep. I think this has been a phenomenal episode and I appreciate how open you are and you're on fire right now, so I'm just going to keep it raining because you're killing it. How do you implement character notes? Because part of the reason he uses the word Big Brother with you because I work a lot with me on taking character notes, yes, these are the hardest notes to implement because, like with me, we've talked about it, my Delivery can be poor and we were talking. about this this morning I was I was yelling at the table I go the golden rule is the craziest, treat others how you want them to treat you no, it works 90% of the time, but if you are like me and you like honesty Open and honest feedback turns out that not everyone agrees.

No more honest feedback, so how do you implement a character? You know when someone gives you a note that's literally encoded in your DNA? I have to go against my genetic code to see how I say things. Look at my dad, everyone knows my dad likes small talk and he just delivers it, does he just say it? Sometimes I'm the same way and it's very difficult and this morning you made a comment about I think you mentioned the character note and you say. I have to do this in my life; It'll probably take me ten years and I said it's good self-awareness, but how do you manage and and make those notes that really hit you to the core and go?

Right against the grain of your being, it's so funny that you talk about this because we've been through a lot, yeah, and there's another person who was very infamous in your growth and your character notes, and that was Chloe, yeah. And we definitely didn't touch on that topic much. There is a small paragraph where I was very grateful for her and she did an amazing job in that very difficult period after Tokyo for you and helped you growso open your word, your vulnerability and I was going to tell you this after the podcast as a note, oh, but I'll do it now because I like that you're sitting in front of me as a guest.

I could see a pure authenticity in you. I don't know if I have ever seen before everything you said was said with such a Shin, he really was a magical man and he was really beautiful and I can see it because I was finally able to look into your eyes when you tell these stories, yes, that one is very important, is the thing, but it's also like he's not fighting at all, yeah, he's really cool, so thanks, yeah guys, he said it, but his book, the fifth vital, is now available on Amazon. and I put the link in the description and I'm excited for this week, we had a huge week ahead of us.

The number one impulsive baby phone podcast in the world continued, go ahead, hit the subscribe button, see you next time Mac or Mac. Also hey, thanks bro, right, if you're watching this in your blues, continue if you're having difficulties, if you're stressed, if you feel like you're not going to make it, you don't know what. what to do with your life have you been addicted have you been stressed or whatever you keep moving forward it will start to happen and it won't stop and it will be beautiful, bye, no, I can't end it, bye.