From Broken to Blessed on the Bipolar Spectrum | Sara Schley | TEDxDeerfield

Thanks to the age of 21, I was a senior at Brown University who looked like everything. I played college sports. I had a group of smart, feisty friends and with a 4.0 I was on my way to one of the best medical schools in the country at the time. what felt like flipping a switch was like an alien had abducted my brain suddenly I couldn't add two and three when I had aced calculus finals a week before I couldn't get out of bed I locked myself in my room I was scared to see my friends, it was a plummet into hell and I was terrified for decades to come.

I suffered from a debilitating brain disorder. I've kept this a secret for 40 years until now, I choose to tell my story tonight for three things, one and stigma, two, they save lives and three they maximize healing, that's helpful. It took me 25 years and five psychiatrists to finally get the diagnosis that saved my life. I have a

bipolar

2 brain on the

bipolar

spectrum

if you've never done it. heard of a bipolar

spectrum

, you're not alone, most people don't know it exists, but understanding the full spectrum and the distinction between bipolar one, two, and unipolar depression can save lives, here's how to imagine you've been lethargic , unmotivated, unable to get out of it.

You crawl into bed to your doctor, the doctor looks at you, he sees that you're depressed, and then he prescribes you an antidepressant, something like Prozac. In fact, more than 70 percent of the 71 million antidepressant prescriptions written last year were written by primary care physicians. with little to no psychiatric training, but if you are like me, you are not depressed, you are also bipolar and Prozac can act like a poison to your brain, and since the risk of suicide for people with any type of bipolar is twice greater than for those with unipolar depression, in other words, people with bipolar disorder are twice as likely to take their own lives.

Getting the correct diagnosis is literally a matter of life and death. In preparation for this talk, I wanted to give you some hard numbers on the prevalence of bipolar disorder. Here I turned to Dr. Holly Schwartz, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine and a global authority on the bipolar spectrum, who has studied literally hundreds of major peer-reviewed sources, according to Dr. Schwartz, as well as the National Institute of Mental Health. Health and the National Alliance on Mental Illness here are some statistics: One in four people who appear to be depressed is actually bipolar.

There are seven million Americans a year who have bipolar brains and I think at least half of them are now on the bipolar spectrum. that these figures are significantly underestimated due to stigma and due to misdiagnoses, furthermore, on average, it takes 11 years to diagnose someone with bipolar bipolar 2 and that is too long because, in the meantime, undiagnosed bipolars are among the addicted, the homeless and the incarcerated their lives destroyed their marriage is ruined their lives lost their families devastated it doesn't have to end this way so why are there so many misdiagnoses when you hear the word bipolar?

What comes to mind most people I ask will say something like this Right path High and extreme mood swings Wild binges these people are actually articulating only one end of the bipolar spectrum, the classic bipolar that is usually known as manic depression, however, we now know that bipolar exists on a spectrum as described on this slide by Dr. Jim Phelps. Jim Phelps is a clinical psychiatrist and author of numerous groundbreaking works on bipolarity. People with bipolar disorder like me don't show extreme mania, and because we don't act manic, we have many of the same symptoms of clinical depression, lethargy, hopelessness, low affect. extreme negativity we are constantly misdiagnosed with clinical depression and then prescribed the wrong medications why is this dangerous?

An award-winning study Dr. Phelps and his colleagues tracked primary care patients with some psychiatric symptoms, hundreds of primary care patients found that these people were given an average of eight and up to 27 medications 27. The point, well, the People with bipolar 2 disorder wait on average a decade to get the correct diagnosis. For me, it was 25 years. They are taking all kinds of medications that are not right for them, each with dangerous and even risks. lethal side effects in my case the doctors convinced that I was depressed gave me drugs that literally made my brain feel like it was shaking inside my skull when I went back to the doctor much worse they would think oh she is more depressed let's give her more of that drug you can see which is a brutal vicious cycle, but we now know that bipolar 2 disorder is not clinical depression, it is a form of bipolar disorder that can respond wonderfully to bipolar medications like lithium and others, so getting it right is vital because the diagnosis Incorrect diagnosis and the wrong medications can make

broken

brains even worse, while the right diagnosis and medications can save lives.

I know I'm a test, so I want to try to describe to you what I mean by a

broken

brain. I think when most people see someone depressed. They think about emotions, oh they're sad, let's fix their sadness, but it's not like that for me and millions like me, when my bipolar switch goes off my brain just stops working, it's a physical thing, here are some examples of the impact , there are many. Simpler everyday conceptual tasks that I have always taken for granted become almost impossible. One day it literally takes me three hours to unpack two bags of groceries.

I get lost between putting away the tomatoes and arranging the cereal boxes in constant confusion. unable to sequence actions. I forget about multiplication. This makes me feel miserable. I got an 800 on my SAT Math exams. Shopping centers and supermarkets are unbearable. There are too many options. How long can I stand in an aisle trying to choose between peanut butter, organic or not? It is not organic, whether it is cheap or more expensive, these decisions paralyze me and the inability to make decisions leaves me flooded with shame and anxiety. I stopped doing laundry, it's too overwhelming to go through the sequence of folding, sorting and putting away clothes, so in the kitchen, in the bedroom.

At the office things are piling up and this chaos is driving me crazy and I'm too overwhelmed to fix it and at this point I'm desperate for company but I feel too embarrassed to invite anyone into this scene even though I'm terrified of being one. It is only with my brain that I share these descriptions with you not to depress you but for this if you are suffering with something like a Bipolar brain I want you to know that you are not alone there is someone who understands what it is like to be inside your brain there is help I hope the doctor who finally He diagnosed me correctly and dedicated himself to understanding the complexity of bipolar disorder.

He had one of Dr. Phelps' books and he gave me a simple 11-question bipolar spectrum diagnostic test. He asked me if his first incident occurred before he was 25 years old. Yes, that's how it was. Do you have a family history of mood swings? Well yes, my mother and grandfather suffered terribly and when they gave him antidepressants at first it seemed to work and then it made it much worse, yes absolutely, and with that and some more pointed questions. It took Dr. Pullman 15 minutes to diagnose what had eluded the medical world for 25 years. I have a bipolar II bipolar brain on the bipolar spectrum, the medications he prescribed me as a result brought me back to life.

I find it difficult to describe it to you. the magnitude of this transformation from the utter devastation and suicidal longing of a broken brain to the absolute miracle and incredible blessing of a functioning brain. I don't know why brain collapse happens, not even the experts seem to know as I write my new book. Brainstorm memories from broken to

blessed

On the bipolar spectrum, the brain is as vast as the universe and equally unexplored in the years to come. I imagine we will learn how rudimentary our understanding was at the beginning of the 21st century, in the meantime we have our work cut out for us.

To do this, you want to help, yes, if you have never had a broken brain but you know people who are suffering and you probably do. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, one in five people is living with a mental health problem right now. one in five, that means in this country alone 66 million people, right, but I want you to know that you can't lift these people up by their own bootstraps or cheer them up with your Vive or shame them into just doing something. You know these reactions are completely completely human and understandable, but they won't help, this is what Ken, this is what I call your EMT Emergency Mental Health Team Toolkit, more on that in a second, okay, We are currently experiencing a pandemic-induced mental health tsunami.

Suicides are on the rise, US Surgeon General Last year, an unprecedented report declared a mental health emergency among our young people. Teen suicide attempts increased by 51 percent. One in two young people is experiencing anxiety or depression. One in two, so tonight we're at a high school for those of you in the audience look to your left look to your right one of these kids is probably suffering so how can we help you? Well, here is the EM Mental Health Emergency Team Toolkit. I promised him. A contact, don't expect them to do it. They will do it.

When you make the phone calls, knock on their doors, listen without judging, don't try to fix it, you can't just accompany these people with your love and presence, they feel isolated on an island of despair and you show up as a lifesaver three just do it right this It's for those of you who want to do something This is what you can do Make appointments Take them to the doctors Pick up the kids Do the laundry Pick out the peanut butters These activities are Herculean for your friend, you do them and finally four create a cluster.

This will be too much for one person to do and you will need support to not burn out and here is the good news, the community of love. and the compassion you develop as a result will be a blessing to all of you, so now, my friend from the emergency mental health team, when you arrive instead of running away and show up with your love and compassion, you will be a great eraser of shame. As author Terry Cheney writes, the disease is fueled by shame. Shame feeds on silence and I will no longer be silent. I would add that shame feeds on stigma.

There is still a massive stigma against mental illness in this country and people who feel the stigma don't seek it out. the help they need to save lives, so I posit that stigma literally kills, so we end up with this vicious cycle of silence, shame, stigma, back to more silence, shame and stigma, a brutal vicious cycle, so show up , will you help. Breaking this vicious cycle you are appearing in can save their life, for example if your friend is too ashamed to go to a psychiatrist or take medication like I did for decades and many are, please tell them this is not their Guilt, right?

If they had diabetes. they would take insulin if they had heart problems they could take blood thinners if they had lung problems and needed help breathing they could use an inhaler pancreas heart lungs these are all physical organs and so is the brain why do we treat diseases of the brain? different it's time to stop that my mentor Juanita who finally got me to accept the medication told me you don't deserve to suffer you haven't done anything wrong this is genetic this is physical just say yes to help and because I loved and respected her and because I was hanging my life by a thread and because by then I had two small children who needed me, I finally said yes.

I wish it hadn't taken me so long, so here's what we can all do for those of us who care. To do something I call them healthy brain practices and use the acronym PEX to help me remember the physical, emotional, creative and spiritual. Flex your pectorals. I practice my pecs for preventive medicine with religious discipline because my life depends on it, but I promise you they are essential. good medicine for anyone with a brain because raise your hand if you're not feeling any mental stress these days, okay, for one hand I'll have what you're having, uh, now the truth is that we're all under a lot of pressure. stress, then the idea with pecs is to create balance in your life and do one or more activities in each of the four physical, emotional, creative and spiritual areas every day, as poet Audrey Lord writes.

This is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation. These are some of my pecs that will work best for you if you do what you love. Well, physical, that means just moving,do aerobics, ride a bike, swim, whatever you like, as we know that endorphins are great mood boosters. Emotional connection is essential. We are human beings, we are social beings, we are not here to be alone, so you can even be efficient and combine your physical and emotional state and go for a walk with a friend. C is for acts of creativity, um, that's like singing, dancing, cooking. um, painting, drawing, whatever you love, these are all brain restorers and finally for spiritual pecs.

I'm a big fan of disconnecting from technology so we can reconnect with nature, we're not evolved to stare at screens for eight hours a day, so come on. Going out somewhere beautiful is calming for the nervous system and calming for the brain, and then walking, playing, praying, meditating, whatever you do to help you connect with something bigger than yourself, that's good for the brain. I am too disciplined with my backpacks because you know that my health depends on it and my friends and family tell me that this discipline is inspiring for them and good for their health too, which is a plus, who knew and this leads me to What I want to leave you with tonight is what I call bipolar.

Proud people living with bipolar and other neurodiverse brain patterns have suffered in silence, isolation and fear having internalized the great social stigma that something is wrong with them and many are plagued with shame, is that okay with you? No, no, so let's tell a different story. now a healing story these people are champions, they are survivors of inner terror who have risen like a phoenix from raging fires and emerge with qualities of character and soul that are beautiful, they are emotionally fearless friends, there is nothing you can do to scare them that your brain hasn't done.

I already told them they will not leave you they are out of the ordinary compassionate there but by the grace of God they could be on the street too and they know it they will not judge you they are grateful grateful beyond measure and this gratitude is contagious because when you have been in Helen Back, every moment healthy, every moment your brain is working is a miracle, let's celebrate the miracle, thank you.