First Drafts: Happy Valentine’s Day 2024

show B Happy Valentine's Day my friends Happy Valentine's Day you Fountain of Love F love cube love cube good to see you ladies and gentlemen uh tonight uh a couple of amazing guests coming here we have the only one who knows him, loves him Mr. Mark Wallberg She'll be here in a moment and after that I'm very excited to talk to the Oscar nominee for The Flower Killers. Moon Lily Gladstone will be here in a moment. Incredible deterrence now, as she said before it's Valentine's Day and some. Cynical people say this is just another Hallmark holiday designed to sell candy, but it has special meaning to me because I once fell in love after a man in a diaper hit me in the heart with an arrow, thanks Harry.

I hope the medicine is working and what is Valentine's Day without some Valentine's Day cards? We'll take a look at some of the early

drafts

of my segment. It's not stupid, of course, I can't do this alone. Please welcome my own Valentine. My wife Evie McGee. Evie hello hello I love that dress yes thank you beautiful hello there you go W please thank you there oh thank you uh now uh honey the traditional gift for Valentine's Day is flowers and chocolate and things like that but I'm sorry no I don't have them but we have a gift for each other for the other tonight we do it this is very ex this is very exciting uh this what we tell you is absolutely true Evie and I have written a cookbook we have it there it is there it's wow it's it's called, does it taste funny? , it's called, is this flavor funny?, tell them when it's coming out, my love, it comes out on September 17th, which makes it a perfect gift for, the perfect gift for who's birthday is that day.

Senator Chuck Grassley's birthday. that day and Kyle Chandler, actor Kyle Chand, we'll send it to you, but you guys, order it ahead of time because it's always good to do that with the cookbook, yeah, you can click right there and preorder it from wherever from here and I. I don't know where that takes you. I apologize beforehand. I hope it's not a cult or wherever you buy books. Does it taste weird? It was a has been, I'm leaving, no, I thank you for writing this. book with me was fun I think I'll say this I think this cookbook should be an example of Hope for all couples Why is it an example of Hope for all couples?

Why is it an example of Hope for all couples? Because I can't even cut celery without you telling me I'm doing it wrong but we but it's all good now that we've written a cookbook together W oh, I feel like I'm being a little naughty Sorry, I'll go back, I'll go back up I wrote a book is beautiful is beautiful we did it together it was an act of love and you made it ugly i we shouldn't do the

first

drafts

long before their relationship completely deteriorates okay, but honey, you know how this works. lots of beautiful

valentine

s here and you'll give them to me, if you don't mind, the

first

card, the first card will have the actual

valentine

that sold and the second will be the first draft that didn't sell. good enough to sell sure yeah thanks ok this one i have to warn everyone watching you have kids in the room this one is a little spicy it says you will always have a pizza from my heart i want refill your bark, baby.

I told you it was a little spicy it was a little spicy Would you have sent it to a girlfriend in college or anything? Would it be too spicy in college? I would have been afraid, but the first draft said you will always have a pizza. In my heart I feel sorry for my strange looking sausage. I probably would have said that. I probably would have said that's worse, that's worse now, uh honey, as you know, we're not going out to dinner after this, okay? That's also very good for me because my idea of ​​a romantic evening is that we go to bed at 9:30, yes, and we could have wine, cheese and crackers, that's what we like.

I will, yeah, that's what we mainly do when I go. at home why only wine and I convince you to drink wine because you say I'm not going to drink wine and then I drink some wine and then you're going to give me a taste of that and then I'm just going to get the bottle and a straw for you , okay, here's one I appreciate celebrating all the Valentine's Traditions with you chocolate roses and love love love that's sweet but the first draft said I appreciate celebrating all the Valentine's Traditions with you Gathering a group of Roman priests in a secret cave to celebrate the pagan festival loar Calia before slapping the local women with a goat skin to encourage fertility look it up, that's what you'd say, this is exactly this.

I would have said this in college, that's why I didn't have a girlfriend, okay? here's a nice card, we're like Romeo and Juliet, forever love, so sweet, oh where will this go? But the first draft, where will this go? I mean, how can you do that? I mean the second one, the second one should. I know a bit of a change, well, well, okay, I'm all ears, what's he going to say, okay, I'm so sorry, I like it, I love it when you come and deconstruct the nature of comedy, what could be next? one says that the next one can't be the same good, I think you gave me a comedy lesson from the beginning.

I don't remember what I did, it was Raiders of the Lost AR, I think it might have been Raiders of the Lost AR wasn't a comedy, it was a lesson in how to suspend your disbelief to enjoy anything. I think I'm very practical. I think we saw like you know Raiders of the Lost AR and you said he couldn't survive being dragged there he would have died like he couldn't he can't be dragged behind a truck that's not going to work yeah and I thought to Inside, she seems like fun and you are. You turned out to be great. the fun turned out to be you you you have made me more fun no no no you have made me a more responsible person we meet in the middle not in the cookbook these things are oh actually that's how the cookbook is in actually here is the first draft but here was the first draft remember the last one was about Romeo and Juliet but here is the first draft we are like Romeo and Juliet okay actually I just read the play why do we let teenagers read this ? sad story that's why I have a sad story oh Beatles I like this here's a nice card like the Beatles said all you need is love but here's the first draft like the semi sardine beetle said climbing the Eiffel Tower Primary school penguin singing Hari Krishna man You should have seen them kicking Edgar Allen Poe.

They had some good drugs. You didn't get anything from me yes, I did get some flowers. The flowers are good, very beautiful. Thanks, you are welcome. I had to take it out of you. Well, here's a scientific one that says Happy Valentine's Day, our love is. like the universe always expanding a sweet wow but the first draft said Happy Valentine's Day our love is like the universe it's been 13.7 billion years since we had a big explosion Evie McGee everyone, we'll be right back with Mark Walberg to