Every Rob, David and Lee Story From Series 4 | Would I Lie To You?

I can just screw it back in because the screw holes, uh, the threads are gone, that's the key now speaking as the only woman, uh, in your single days, before you settled down, oh God, and you they

would

have known, David and you. He

would

take me like wildfire and he said well, why don't you come back to me? You don't like it, no you don't like it, is it this or Ronnie Corber, um, why don't you come back to my apartment and we could sit and play a game of Boggle, so you go there, you go there and he said, well, do you?

Why don't we go up and you go? Upstairs and you get to the door and there is no handle or knob. That would discourage you. This actually happened to me once. David David, you are a dark horse. No. I stayed the night and when I got up in the morning to leave. I couldn't get out and I didn't know where I was you didn't know where you were wow I really had to call the fire department I think I should say this wasn't in my house and they had to come and put a ladder up to the window and give me a fire mon left outside where was the man you had returned to he went to work he had gone to work and locked you up for later I didn't know she would stay until I come back wow wow okay what are you going to say Lee?

I think it's a lie, you think it's a lie. He looks like a man. He has well maintained doors. Yes, I will say that it is a lie. Well, then we'll say it's a lie. a lie David Mitchell, were you telling the truth or were you telling a lie? In fact, it is true. Yes it's correct. David has had to open the door to his room for the past two years since the door handle fell off. I once lost a game of Swing ball to a chimpanzee. David's team is fine, why were you with the chimpanzee?

I was visiting a zoo in South Africa and the trick the chimpanzee could do was play Swing ball and we all took turns going to AO and I had a few to drink and it beat me what time of day it was this time of day before the monkey went to sleep you refuse to answer I don't refuse but I'm thinking about it for a while because I don't know if you mean the south African time or English time are very similar, but I think there is a time that is different. Do you mean South African time?

I am referring to local time in South Africa. I think I'm sorry you confused me a little because most of the time it says local time at the zoo. On the occasion of your match I have been using this. I can't lie over the years. I've been using this anecdote on darts and things. Oh, did I ever tell you L about the time we played swing with a chimpanzee, no. Has anyone ever said what time of day this was. It baffled me for a second. Most people do chimpanzee swings. Tell us more. Interesting person. The difference is that when you tell that as an anecdote in the pub, people go.

It's good manners to go with the flow. Lee talks, they're interested, me K and all, why were you in South Africa? No, don't say it. I have to time of day, time of day, make up a time of day. I couldn't beat a chimpanzee. in swimming swimming because I was drunk, how will I remember the time of day? I'm terrible at this and it's only a quarter to three. What I'm trying to understand is why were you angry around the zoo? It's not usual. after the trip to the pub, oh let's have a few jars, I'll tell you what I fancy, a trip to the zoo around 1am, they take the chimpanzee out, the chimpanzee takes people on a swing.

Chimpanzee lungs like nothing more than a lot of anger. contestants we don't all go to the British museum for stag weekends SU they don't open after the pub no no we W it was the afternoon you know we've been drinking since the morning you ate with alcohol we had a drunken morning we started at 11: arrest me, why didn't you go and see how some strippers wouldn't go a lot of men we thought they were cute we thought we liked them B is the trash pul Das in the club that little p Das? she has any boobs she hasn't had any shade for a long time it was horrible I'm not going to lie we were about to walk C someone said no, it's a ball she plays CH us I wonder why she didn't let me put ten pounds in bra David before that someone FS the rspca was a tricky chimpanzee was not said look, you know, I quite like it here at the zoo, but really what would make it enjoyable is if I could take on some of the visitors, ideally in swinging the badminton ball to push I don't think that happened well, he had no choice, he had no choice, that's the point, is it true or is it a lie?

I thought it was a lie, but it seems like something he does, I guess. it's a lie but I'm happy to be it I'll go I'll go lie lie we'll go with a lie we all say it's a lie yes yes it's okay Read truth or lie in fact it's a lie yes um it is a lie he's never lost a swing game against a chimpanzee uh , for the record, was Scrabble. Okay, so when I was a kid, I had a special way of communicating with Captain Kirk during Star Trek episodes. It's true. Oh, come on, what do you think?

And in that special way. He had two ways of communicating with Captain Kirk. One was with a small calculator that had a kind of leather case and when he opened it it was, in my son's eyes, incredibly identical to Star Trek. Old guy communicator, we're talking before the nipple hit, did you do this David? No, no it's more like yes, it would open and then it would go away and you would press the C button to win the prize and it would say oh yeah that's a secondary noise, I asked did you ever have girlfriends? No, in all honesty, when he was a child, wasn't it?, no, it was a big noise, wasn't it?, yes, yes, it was comforting, it was yes, that kept it.

I, the company that needs people exactly and what was the second way, the second way was that I would chat a little with the characters on the screen while it was happening, I would join in sliding, oh, what good thoughts, Captain Kirk, you know, no you interrupt I, Spock, I'm talking, do you know the characters from the famous Star Trek, yes, huru, what you, Hulu, suuu, mark, mark, bones, bones, bones, yes M, actually correctly, Rob Rob, do you ever Have you refereed anything before? You are a terrible referee in football, why? Don't try to kick it in the top right?

What are you going to say then Lee? What do you think is the part that rings the most true? Actually, about all this was when it was, I opened it because I remember those calculators they used. to have a little something, there is no doubt and did you do the old thing that says tits when you put them upside down? You didn't know what they were right, so is David telling the truth? Lee, what's cool with you? Alright? I think, uh, David when he was a little boy would be so lonely and sad that he would have to use his that yeah, yeah, yeah, you're saying this right, I said it's true, are you sure, okay, David, is it true or is it? lie?

I'd prefer the word imaginative to lonely, but yes, it's true, yes, it's true when he was a kid, David had a special way of communicating with Captain Kirk during Star Trek episodes. David especially liked Leonard Nimoy, that strange way of life obsessed with logic he tuned in

every

week. to see Mr. Spock, oh yes,

every

year I mark the anniversary of my goldfish's death by pouring a shot of brandy into my pond. Does this tradition predate the death of his goldfish? No, no, the cause of death wasn't there? other fish that survived uh yes, yes, I have a pond in the garden and that pond has nothing to do with the death of the goldfish, but how many fish were there in the pond, just one?

I'm not going to say this again, but I was the goldfish in the pond when he died. No sorry, the goldfish wasn't a pond goldfish. It was a goldfish from a tank. Was it a tank goldfish? No, it was a tree goldfish. Where he lived? the goldfish lived in a fishbowl the goldfish bowl if the goldfish lived in a fishbowl right, why is his death commemorated by pouring brandy into an alternative goldfish that we don't have because when the goldfish died, the fishbowl was gone? Do any fish live in the pond? My goodness, are there currently any fish in the pond?

Because if you pour brandy into a pond, they'll die too, so it's a legitimate question, it didn't make sense, right? The original fish? die because they brought Brandy, there are fish in the pond, true, but the amount of Brandy I pour into the pond is like the weakest cordial you can drink. Fally fish drink all the time, yes, not brandy, only brandy if it's in the Damn water, yes, but then it's not Brandy, it's Brandy, but it's Brandy and water, no, it's a weak Brandy and water. Diluted Brandy is no longer Brandy, so you are saying that when you put soda in brandy, you will make your no.

Now as much as I do, you put soda in brandy, yeah, what kind of 70s porn world are you living in? Just one last question, why are you commemorating the death of a goldfish? No, it doesn't matter the death of a goldfish, no, it doesn't matter. It matters, I don't care at all, but I suspect you don't care either, oh I don't care, but it does matter to the wife. The wife loves that goldfish like a husband, so she said, "Do it." A favor, my beloved husband, show your respect for this fish that he loved so much, by annually pouring a shot of brandy into the pond of these other fish that I secretly hate and wish to destroy, so with that in mind, David, what are you going to do? to say? a liar Patrick is true no, he is not a liar are you saying that he is a liar okay uh read is what you just told us true or is it a lie is absolutely a lie oh