Entry level interviews be like...

Hey Zack, I pronounced it correctly, yes, now I see that here in programming languages ​​you put Python. Did you put it in because you heard about it once in passing or because you're an expert? Well, I don't follow it either, I mean, I took an introduction. to the Python programming course that probably lasted four months, I would say four months, that's eight years, okay, so you're very well qualified, we can use you for some of our more advanced projects, no, no, I really like it, honestly, I only know bass, a lot. people here don't really know how to use Python listen, you've been using it for 40 years, we could definitely start trying it, don't let them really get it right, so you listed Microsoft Excel, what experience would you say you have with that, I mean.

I've used it before, so I put it on my resume. Okay, wow, so you're a professional. Not well. I don't think you've heard anything about me. I can recognize confidence and experience, so I have. I don't think we honestly don't use Excel a lot and by that I mean that's all you're going to do, but since we have the creator of Microsoft Excel in the building, I think you'll put it to good use and it just shows your expertise. I'm going to need you to hack the Pentagon using only Microsoft Excel on the cell phone and don't worry, you'll have plenty of time because you'll make it until I finish eating this peanut, like I said, not really.

I don't have that much if you're done, okay? Tell me why we should hire you and not everyone else. Wow, that's funny and he's starting to sound like a stuck-up jerk now. If you had to choose what you would say are your biggest weaknesses. and then after you answer that, tell me why we should hire you when we don't hire the weak. Where do you see yourself in ten minutes? So what's up with this 20-year gap in your work history? Well, I was born and that was quite difficult. get a job for a while after that mm-hmm well, okay, pass that for now, but if you get hired, we'll need a more entrepreneurial attitude, what would you do if you caught someone stealing a pencil from work?

If it's just a pencil, it probably wouldn't do much, okay, so don't worry about the crime, as long as it's something small and fun, I guess I'd tell my manager, oh, you're a snitch. Hey guys, you said you'd give away the pencil. Ask sir, what is your opinion? I have a pen, don't call the police, yeah, don't worry about them, you're doing well, what do you hope to accomplish in your first 30 days on the job? Two paychecks and do you have any? questions for me, yes, so if I get hired, what types of things will I do specifically?

Oh yeah, if you get hired here, you'll definitely do specific things and stuff. In fact, have you seen videos of those futuristic robots doing parkour and everything? Mind you, I'm not that great either, God, they'll be fun to work on. Oh, and when are you available to start? Where it says you have no internship experience, how do you expect to get a job if you've never had a job? You've heard a few programming languages ​​here, but I'm going to mention a few others that we also use that require some mastery, so while I'm listing them, let me know if you've heard them starting with basic Java JavaScript Ruby PHP.

HTML CSS C C++ C sharp D sharp G flat ascending C natural minor scale Beethoven's Symphony Number Nine and D Minor, okay, isn't that music? Yes, that's what most amateur programmers say. No, Beethoven's Symphony Number Nine and D Minor is actually a nice new one. exciting programming language you use here okay we'll move on how about oh say can you see more more maybe the trend Fortran five my infinite loop will continue two girls a compiler bauble paddywhack give that dog some code that have you never used? scheduled and I can't stop, I won't stop, can't you see we own the night script?

Stacy's syntax has it working. She wishes she had Jessie's github profile. We are going to need a larger Linux terminal. I am your father. Seriously, you never programmed No, okay, well, I guess just because all the other applicants have all that and you don't, doesn't mean we won't hire you, so let's move on. Okay, the next few questions are a little weird, but I asked them and just answered the best you can, so let's say they shrink you down to the size of a nickel and throw you in a blender, oh, okay, well, I guess that I would try and then you put duct tape on that blender, which is then vacuum sealed from the top and placed on a rocket that is on autopilot going towards a black hole, everyone will ask for it to be filled from the bottom of that blender to put the lid back on the rocket and light it and then everyone will say oh no, but I'm stuck in the blender, oh, but the acid and it has shots.

We'd like to see how you handle difficult situations. Okay, under the hardware you put a chair. Did you make it up? No, I just wasn't sure why you put it there. maybe I should be specific, oh my goodness, in addition to what you've put here, we have some hardware that you should be quite familiar with, so I'm going to say some of their names. Let me know when you hear one. familiar with the sound well oh please don't, have you used a Flocka spectrum analyzer wok? How about a Thor's Hammer Hydraulic Press Shake and Bake? Captain Crunch clamp meter, have you calibrated a duo chain low ride sensor?

It is the one that measures the distance from the floor. Chain and dokdo gauges. Oh yeah, I've used that one, oh man, it's all we use here. Really, oh yes, you are very. well qualified. Thanks Noah. I think we're good here. I'm going to go talk to some of the other guys and let them know our decision and like a week, okay, awesome and whether or not I get the job, will they let me? I know either way, yeah, either way, we'll let you know, but it looks promising, so it was nice meeting you and we'll talk very soon.

Hey, hey, you didn't get the job, yeah, I thought, yeah, we just decided to do it. go in a different direction but I just want to say no hard feelings as you may have heard there were several layoffs in the company recently, yes you laid off thousands ah but it was random and fair. Look, all these students come in thinking if they just know a Little Calculus, they are qualified to work here, but you see this company is finite and their budget is finite, but now our checkbook is balanced like all things should be. I mean, do you know how many resumes I had to review?

I don't care about fourteen million. six hundred and five how many people we have to choose one I still don't care, but hey, if you're still looking, I'll be happy to share your resume, you know, after losing several of my friends and my fiancée, I'm not either. Worried about having a job right now wait, you were getting married, yeah, I just don't see the invitation, you weren't invited, what I thought we were guys, no, I mean, we shared some pretty intimate things that day, no, I don't. we did, maybe you. I don't remember, but I definitely do.

The day started with you telling me something about yourself, you told me your future goals, you told me not only your strengths but also your weaknesses, you were vulnerable with me, oh you told me that sad story about it. Angry or furious customer you had to deal with and three things you did to resolve it. None of it was by honest choice. Honestly, I liked the idea of ​​you being my employee with benefits. You're done? All applicants love a great benefits package. uh, you know, I never told anyone this, but I always felt like I was duct-taped to a blender of loneliness and you were the first to give me tangible advice on how to get out of that blender.

Oh, the stupidest thing I've ever heard, sure, maybe. I interviewed other people after you left, but I was being superficial by judging people by how their resumes looked and not by how they made me feel. What can I say? I'm a guy who likes a good couple of titled columns to separate work from the school experience, but that's the old me, okay, that's funny, you know? When I was younger I could walk onto any college campus even in my work clothes and there would be a line of men and women literally waiting to talk to me, that was the career fair but things change people change I can't go back but always We have the memories.

Do you even know how you are going to end this video?