EN EL ACTO - Fran Hevia

ah the next segment is sponsored by jamón chuli jamón chuli now without hair no the national auditorium located since 1952 in the heart of Mexico City is the most important entertainment venue in Latin America with a capacity of 10,000 spectators the colossus of reform It has contributed to the career of the greatest Spanish-speaking artists. It also has the Lunarium, a smaller room where sometimes things also happen, sometimes amazing things like the one you will see below, the magic with this place. I give you a very good applause. a round of applause for the waiters, also the lunario for the people in the kitchen, a round of applause, a round of applause for you, also with songs like for Daniela, a round of applause for not being here yet, no, how are you, I'm Frank, I'm going to be a comedian for a few minutes, what a pleasure, I like to be there. here with you I am at an age of 31 years the age of Christ two years before dying is like a second puberty they are not what you see of there being hair where before there was no hair there are heartaches where before there were no cranes very strange time to sleep sitting up I am Like those dolls that I carry, they fall asleep, I go to bed, they give me horrible heartburn and at this age something very nice happens, which is that for some reason I love my mother going to Cusco, I don't know why the mother looks at the helmet, it excites me and makes me ashamed.

I was so excited if you normally won stool if you have never been to Cusco ladies and gentlemen it is like a supermarket where everything is bigger for some reason it has its differences with the conventional supermarket you can notice when you get to the checkout that there are no elderly people putting in your things in a bag I suppose that since everything is bigger, his old people died, unfortunately not because of each other, but because of others, the helmet that really he suddenly is not so cool that everything is bigger in the helmet not because there are things that You need a smaller amount.

I had to buy mouthwash. I left there with 6 gallons of mouthwash. I don't even have anywhere to put it. I put it in the mother's jug now and my children, the ones that look like a month ago now to bathe the dog, look just as disgusting. the skewer but but it smells very delicious this flight as soon as I went to the helmet pharmacy I also bought a large bottle of vitamins very strange these bottles because it has a lid that is very difficult to open you do not have to press the lid very hard and then the same force turn the lid and you're like oh if only I had vitamins to visit vitamins 2 outside completely a shampoo for the best hair growth I think that's where it goes so I rinse it I get hair on my ass just like the fart also gets a tail literal horse I say it like a bag of garbage like a million buttocks more or less I also realized with horror, ladies and gentlemen, that I have been masturbating for years with anti-aging cream, I suppose that explains the baby problem, at least there is a logical explanation, I mean.

It's a screamer but it seems new It's something that seems new today How are the women tonight How strange are the women I clearly asked them how they are none of them answered no no more no no no none of them answered me neither good nor bad they answered what is that what is That, my love, what do you have at the traditional women's hospital the other day the other day I had to donate blood to a friend and about a month later they all threw it away. I honestly felt very ugly and that's why I wanted it.

What little mother would have told me? I threw it away. I don't have to go to God's race. Women are very rare, especially every 28 days. When this scientific phenomenon known as menstruation occurs, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable to talk about a bear. I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable. But it's the appropriate scientific term menstruation I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable but let's talk about menstruation how strange that it's so uncomfortable it's not uncomfortable you're menstruating exactly well yes they were expecting it it's really cool not for a moment I thought it was going to lose 18 years of my life but not here we are and we have to celebrate it by taking 5 how good it is very strange very strange this scientific phenomenon no me being a completely misinformed Mexican man I think there is a lot of misinformation about it and that is why it is like a taboo subject all The information we get is through commercials for feminine pads, so I clearly understand that menstruation is what happens once a month when a woman drops a blue liquid on something with wings and then breaks on another side, you say. ah, not many questions, what are the wings for?

They grab and menstruate, ah, and then they act like a little airplane of Madrid girls. See you next month. Then they explained to me more or less that the days of a woman are when a woman is in her days like that. They tell you, well, the endometrium comes off, no, and it comes out through the walls of the cervix, and this causes a hormonal decompensation, no, which then comes with certain mood swings and discomfort, ok, then suddenly your belly hurts, no, I don't want to leave your house, I want to stay there. just eating barbecue is not like it is like a really cool hangover it was scarcer this makes you sad which you can understand but then because the commercials for feminine towels handle this fiction from now on you are in your days because it is the right time to spend it Chingón no because first you get on a bike on a horse on the wing of a plane to the rapids in Veracruz wait because my insides are bleeding we talked about in the morning they have very strange phrases like that commercial that you have probably seen the one about give one to saba one only from your days what those who write copy, that is, what they expect from the consumer by telling them that you as women see it and say ok ok I know I'm going to give you just one of my days, one only, the other three or four continue to all add up as verse he just mopped I don't care it's not or it's not my very strange Saturday day the hate in all these commercials they are always having a great time very funny the more they see them the more I say how it doesn't go down for me and I would also be having an incredible time in a war of pillows with Aislinn Derbez but unfortunately I had to be born with this gigantic baby who is now Aislinn Derbez, not before she was Bárbara Mori but I don't know I guess she doesn't lose it anymore I don't know I don't know it's a possibility I hope she's not going into public terrible terrible no and here you are let's talk ladies and gentlemen someone here among the public has a job a job that he considers out of the ordinary you don't have one for God's sake we don't have here as something to act I doesn't mean an actuary we don't have any very strange some producer then we have some producer wolf someone knows some product logo it is strange the proctologist who in his right mind decides to be a proctologist who leaves high school and says bye because I already know I already know chaos here goes my plan today leaving school high school or entering medicine, the most difficult career that I can think of, no, they're not going to see me anymore, I'm not going to go out on a limb because they're screwing it, girl night, sing, girl, about ten years old or so, no, but then once it's over The race may not be seen because I'm going to be doing my service in a hospital well 24 hours a day, 7 days a week fucking but finally I'm going to finish and they're not going to see me anymore I'm not going to go out on a limb either because I'm going I'm going to bring the specialty by spending all the money on my parents and the girls are going to be screwed, not girls, but someday someday I'm going to achieve that dream that I had when I was little, what burgos, how stupid, true, that dream that you have had to pay me for putting my hand in it hand on people's asses what kind of sick person are you plus inefficient not but so easy and economical to buy a bus ticket to guadalajara and no but what is most in demand is a fitting joke ok there are very strange llamas lately calls that Ten years ago there were no community managers, for example we have community managers here, I think you're not going to make fun of me, I'm not going to make fun of you for a while, your mother's pentagon is a jacket, it's a badge that didn't exist nine years ago, in other words, and Just like this job, there are many jobs in the digital era that didn't exist years ago, for example, the guy who grabs your parking ticket and puts it in the machine, what kind of job is that, and then they even do it wrong, not like yesterday, the other way around, see?

Gentleman, I'm sorry, what do you say to them? I help people with their roles. The dubbing

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r, for example, may sound very sophisticated, not lending your voice to an endearing television character, but we'll get on with it. To think that it is a once in a lifetime opportunity, just as he gave voice to Goku, he has done it 345 times at most in a period of 20 more years and this guy obviously has to keep paying the rent, no, so we can't help but hear that voice. suddenly saying very unworthy things like hello, I'm boku and I invite you to the shoe fair in León, Guanajuato, just in case you don't listen to me, this bastard won't save us, you just need a bar or we'll set up the drumstick, nothing happens when I was a child I really liked him anime we have anime enthusiasts here tonight very well surely here there is more than one who ran in high school like this there is a direct correlation between the taste for anime and running like for some reason maybe because and you argue in these children who say So if you go faster, what are you talking about, boy, you don't go faster, I'm walking next to you, but much faster, no, it's never white, enough of that when you've seen Usain Bolt as well as Naruto, for God's sake, and I really like these. cartoons because they are very dramatic as Mexicans because that is why we like them so much because there is always a lot of drama and highlights that is more or less the life of a Mexican and this drama is even more dramatic, whatever the expression, because of the Mexican dubbing in which we consume it.

Don't imagine how ugly it would be if these cartoons were dubbed in another country, I don't know in Argentina, for example, and if you saw something saying things like, well, I see, Bronco's luck improved a lot, and well, Mexican dubbing won't even forgive you, they creak from so much drama, I'm leaving. To stay here you have to have a lot of anger in your heart to say like that to someone who has been called an insect here at some point, don't answer, that is, in what context do you use that insult in traffic, I don't think this insect got into me, I will never destroy you in Life is very specific and the drama of these guys is so much that they always come to blows and they have a very nice way of hitting each other because they have many techniques and each of their techniques has a name and it is very important for them to tell you the name of the technique. technique before using it against you in half of Madrid like the now classic meteor so that you warn him, it would not be easier to grab j the technique just has a name, there is no need to confuse and this is the half whore where you have to be more alert if for some reason right, they have time to have a very major internal monologue in their heads, they are throwing punches and kicking while up here it can't be, it's too strong, I don't know if it can handle so much power, idiocy, imagine, imagine that we were fighting like this here in Mexico, that of Suddenly you saw two girls without shirts on the street, you know how good sons poke each other because that's how we fight in Mexico for some reason.

I think that one learns to fight by playing slot machines, so ok, I guess first I have to move, so whatever the round thinks, I I think down down up the truth is that I had to call this just not like I was like this software no this is not like he is now I will always have you but no but they don't want to be me you that it was like in the Japanese cartoons that Don't take it, we will take our time with more drama, more cadence, the same two girls without a player on the street, now, yes, your mother's son, he was worth an insect for everything, fuck, mother for two, these voice, I suppose because we are so backward there in Japan, The barbarians do not have the technological advances that we have here in Mexico, such as the Japanese peanut, for example, it is unheard of that they do not have it there, the he caleta, a miracle of Mexican engineering, the jlca net, if I don't want salad, but also one known as Mexicans, the sanchis octopus.

It's not okay I want to eat seafood but I'm okay by Sanchis Pulmo Let's go to his store I played and come Mexico dog If it has ever happened to you ladies and gentlemen that you meet someone and suddenly you realize that it's someone who doesn't really know your name Today in fer you pass me the salt for a moment my name is not fer but then why does he turn around when he told me fer and I have the salt in my hand I am going to check my faith and then you have that opportunity to say no that's not my name my name is my name In this way our friendship can continue without being based on a lie but for some reason because of Sal Italia you are going to serve for this one who opens all your life until suddenly one day he invited you to his wedding and you can't enter because Your name is not Fer, what a fart, because our Fer will not have come, I am, and I will tell you the truth, well, after a while, I watch a lot of TV, I know it's not on anymore, I'm going to watch TV, but Mom, let's watch TV, my favorite channel. the telehit channel someone who has seen you chosen at some time does not count if they appeared on telehit you passed and it is nice to choose telehit that everyone in the world we have all seen you chosen here at some time we have all had a taco shop at three in the morning everyone knows what What is it like to be there eating onions with mai juice and suddenly a bald guy screaming carnal and is trying to eat my onions to choose like many contents on Mexican television to choose does not have the most sophisticated programming it is not a reality it is a reality and yet Telehit has been on the air for more than 20 years.

I think it is because of its very ingenious marketing strategy because it has these contents, like okay, but it announces them to you with a very fresh voice, a voice very here, a voice that has been speaking to us kids for a long time. 25 years old, what does that tell you about things like the summer telehit or it'sit burns and if it came or if it is burning then the marathon of 14 hours of war of jokes followed by another marathon of 14 hours of war of jokes and at the end of a chapter of the dungeon with guests who are already dead this regent generally would not see that, but that voice, it does make me excited, no, it made me want to see the donkey and Esteban with the tower, it's not for costal and our king is like watching the prequel, well, you go, there's Paco, he still doesn't know what's going to happen to him, I'm not going. to be a fool when it kills me to choose to choose because the more I see it the more I think about the people who make it possible to choose, particularly this individual that we give him to choose from, I don't think he is a person like you and like me and that his job I don't say with That beautiful voice was logical that he gave it to us through somewhere, how good it was through telehit because with that voice he could hold some other job as we couldn't hear him saying things like a grocery manager, your friend's balance has run out. seismic alert seismic alert wow wow wow wow we ask for your collaboration to find the child juan melvin cruz cruz was wearing tennis shoes suffering from his mental faculties on telehit how good he is through choosing that we listen to him although I say it is not a very well paid job either The voiceover I have done in voiceover is not very well paid and with the economy the way it is going right now I can't help but think about this person who perhaps doesn't have the best opportunities lately and this affects the economy but fortunately he has that melodious voice to that the horrible things that may happen to her don't sound so bad when you realize you don't know the conversations and her colleagues from telehit there next to the jug of telehit so well, well, what can I tell you, friend, this bitch is no longer enough for me re-registration of the child I'm going to take down the clothes because it's already started to rain I run like this because I'm in my days until they made a joke I imagine it there in the supermarket not like at the checkout I didn't know that the grocery vouchers expired and they already saved me the things in bags the dog what this individual will have to do to survive now elevate but without kisses already hitting his personal life no like the more you tell me my love the less he is going to stop I am very stressed I am not coming to steal from you no I come to lie to you, this chosen one, every time I tell you, I am one show closer to finding myself among the audience from touching them and leaving forming their cigarettes.

Now, yes, your mother's son, you are worth it. I am going to give you a bitch as soon as I finish my taco of cream. The king counts. with the cream of rich pérez horrible the other was walking through the roma neighborhood and saw an advertisement one of these posters of missing people that curiously did not have a photo of a person it had a photo of a dog do me a favor and a very first person text dramatic saying hello my name is just kidding I'm a little dog giorgi and I'm lost please help me get back home this is my phone and a phone there even with ions for goodness sake they expect me to believe that this alleged fraud or he left his home suddenly for For some reason he no longer knew what his whereabouts were, but luckily he said that there is an office depot.

He entered and rented a computer with the money that he surely had in his dog purse. You see what it's worth. Bring your purse. They told him number 4. Number 4 is needed. They are bringing glasses. then he stood up and said hey to send print they said black and white color what is color excuse me look at mandela black and white two light eyes he went to sit down again he opened power point because it would be unheard of for him to use illustrator for a dog that's why I'm looking for a photo of him on facebook I suppose or on google he put york dog and this one looks much more like the end that I'm going to print it black and white nothing happens and then with his little legs almost without fingers here simoncitos wrote with an impressive typing but a single spelling mistake all that paragraph types a telephone with ions the son of his hand could not dial from the beginning it was so difficult it was wehbe that fart web braulio bs that was where he sees the most the month just like you want to see if you already know why you leave open Saturdays too No, come for me, I almost have no money, it's the same black dog as the website, well, gentlemen, but I think personally, I know that it is a not very popular opinion, but I think that dogs are horrible people, sorry, sorry, they are the worst people, dogs are bad attitude the fingers are very good with them they treat us very badly, in other words we really treat each other too well, for example when we had seen that a man was not in the company of his friend, if you like his best friend and suddenly he is better friend has the idea of ​​shitting on the floor and the man says no no friend please let me lift it with my own hands this thing that came out of your hand and I'm going to keep it in this little plastic bag that I'm going to carry here in my entire hand hot in case it makes you want to make friends again it is something that many would not do even for their mother but it were not for objectives the passions of yes way they treat us very badly how a dog greets you the first interaction you have in common with a dog how the bastard greets you but he is there in his daily life we ​​generally did dog things la merce he suddenly you arrive you greet them telam in the face he is licking the and telam in the face and then they go back to licking the commission look what What do I do with your stupid face?

What ways are those? There are people who can't stand that, not even their partner with their own. I have to put up with a dog that isn't mine. Those who have the offices despair but because of the dog because there is one Luis Alberto Rojo and the red one is also like the Beelzebub himself who wants the most proof. Surely everyone has seen these subdivisions, these communities where there is a house next to the other, very close together, each house has a garden or a patio state of Mexico speaking and each patio has a dog and these dogs have known each other all their lives they sniff any number of parts through the bars they are neighbors they have their block boss their whatsapp group where they send each other's photo a black dog with a red whistle I don't know I don't know I don't know they know each other very well and suddenly a dog arrives that is not from this ecosystem a poor street dog a foreign dog and in a street situation how the dog reacts what is there They are assholes, the poor little dog on the street is passing by, they already know how to learn by eating through my website, it's going to stay with me or it recharges me as a dog and the local dog sees it from the comfort of his patio and that's the first thing they do i way you're not from here website good from website birth plan your mother left me good bye good good which white well for example his ass is burning thank you very much to the gentlemen my name was girlfriend thank you for being here see you another day I guess thank you very much good nights, although it's for tonight and I wanted to go to the movies, look single, well, I'm not going to die alone or I'm going to end up as someone's stepfather lately, that happens a lot, well, I just want someone to go to the movies with, I don't want to show them the ropes.

This child recently happened to me that he ended up with the stepfather of someone my age. It's not so bad in this area that a mortal kombat. How is that about not having a partner? Suddenly it's like it's embarrassing to go to the movies alone. They don't like movies. I'm a big movie enthusiast, I'm one of those who go to see a movie and I'm still in the world of movies. I didn't go to see the latest 'Fast and Furious' movie. I left the movie theater and I already thought I had a shave. automatic but still neutral drive neutral drive neutral drive 1 so what is the 1 and the one of us poor people I arrived at my house the one with me inside I am very passionate about China spoiler to the led and I really like gringo cinema not because a malinchistas but because it is a statistic that there is more Greek cinema on offer than Mexican cinema, how is it possible that there are like 300 gringo films a year and nothing more than four Mexican ones, all with Jaime Camil, what a joke, the ticket costs the same, that is, the Greek one brings ships space dinosaurs a very good old woman and the Mexican brought a short sea with mariachi go to the 70 pesos at 70 feet and I think we have a lot to learn from the Greeks in this sense as they have a lot of this culture of selling us things all the time and the Cinema is a very, very easy way to sell us air.

They don't make movies of anything, of books, of other movies, of biographies, for example, Pirates of the Caribbean, it is based on a roller coaster in Disney, a roller coaster called Pirates of the Caribbean, just as you can. see called gorillas in the fog and second see gael in his movie according to don ya disney makes like web poco madre this park güell gilles simon here to see el orejón poco madre your park good incredible web of eggs güey I'm telling you I'm telling you well of eggs your park güell little mother this physicist of the rates cool web you almost leave me that or for him because he was already coming but the truth is web the good mother more you like this one thing I'll tell you well I'll tell you I way I'll tell you I say, I did it, I was capable of your park, but on this side we don't have to mention the opportunity to be able, that is, clearly there is someone who is a cool movie, I'm telling you, he has a movie there, he already tells you, I away in the name tells you.

What is the movie going to be about, wow, pirates of the Caribbean, some pirates of the Caribbean, I don't know if here in Mexico, someone who arrives at the fair, little mother, your fair, incredible website, cool to your fair, well, that's closing Simón Way Street that Thursday, the marble is very web I won a hand that sticks been good I have it in the car it is full of hair little mother I tell you well but this side of this is a trace of shots to the danger that tells you end the day happy web in the name and bastard tells you what the movie is going to be about way the mouse covers it a movie about a mouse in the caribbean is way let's go 6 movies that jaime camil will make we don't have a sea singing mariachi I go to this website so I think that supporting the national cinematographies ladies and gentlemen, I am already finishing writing my next film, a film based on a game, also a game that I hope many of you know, a game that I hope many have played at some point, and I am so advanced with the script of my film that I even have Here is the trailer of my film and tonight at the Lunario I would like to present to you the trailer of this film, you want to see it very well, so if we are ready, let's see it like this, they do it on TV, a carnal video came in.

Let's see each other, but from the theater, ladies and gentlemen. This is theater, you can rely on your imagination so without further ado let's see it so so so so so from the creators of Paris and Naval Battle to Transformers and Divinity the movie arrives for Lastra it's the movie a CIA operative has that being an impenetrable fortress knights station is the base to show here here here and here and once inside 123 the base burns so much that it is with an impressive cast to productions in the role of mel gibson is father and mel gibson in the role from another neighbor they are bad checks with the special performance of jaime camil ue no mamen way for all the action fast there are no firemen or buckets all the intrigue that brings them and brings them all the adrenaline 3º b to the living room for lastra it is the movie and you The suits don't seem like on this occasion you are the one who brings them the same and I ask only in chiles thanks to the gentlemen the guy who came not contained and which ones are not I'm not going to close a special counting in the jacuzzi yakult let's see what they say back there another better more thanks than Elena we can't put marks but thank you very much from the point of editing I everything many already cultured everything very much and which one I really like him since given my mom him since he is rich yakult even saying them like yakult I like it a lot the truth I think it's already too much yakult, it's a problem with the shake, friend, many yakult is the one I take, I'm telling you, don't imagine everyone is already so cool, he's much more gentlemen than when I'm in the act I sometimes hesitate, the level of comedy they came Let's see tonight ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much without eating and