Emotional Intelligence From a Teenage Perspective | Maximilian Park | TEDxYouth@PVPHS

Last year I experienced what I call the ultimate rejection from not one but two people at the same time and I don't need to go into too much detail about that because that's the short story, but more importantly, the long story is what passed. after it hurt me, it hurt a lot, it's like that feeling when someone follows you on Instagram and you follow them again and a week later you realize that they stopped following you, but a hundred times I try to sleep as much as possible to escape my pain, but after being brought back to reality, I would wake up crying, it was like a cruel joke my brain was playing on me, tricking me into this false sense of comfort with my dreams only to be brought back to a world where my body burned through every hour of consciousness I successfully isolated myself by losing friendships I had spent years cultivating I didn't go to school I struggled with homework and was constantly overcome with anxiety always feeling like I was dancing on the edge of a cliff of course my family my friends and My classmates were there, but when you feel like you're drowning in loneliness and your emotions get the better of you, the whole world seems so far away.

I needed a lifeboat and the reason I couldn't handle these emotions is because I didn't have one. a high

emotional

intelligence

quotient

emotional

intelligence

is the ability to understand your emotions and respond to them effectively and I am not the only one who has had this problem anxiety and depression are increasing rapidly in middle school students and even high school students , the American College Health Association found a significant increase from 50% in 2011 to 62% in 2016 of college students reporting overwhelming anxiety, for what has happened in just the last 10 years: Hospital admissions of suicidal teens have doubled and most

teenage

rs became like me because they were too afraid to open up or didn't know that anxiety is like a snowball that rolls downhill and gets bigger and bigger with each passing minute until it becomes unmanageable .

So what can we do to stop this? We need emotional intelligence within the construction of classes in every high school in the world. nation this would help prevent the build up of anxiety in children before it takes over their lives or even takes their lives when we don't understand something it becomes scarier emotions are puzzles that we have to solve every day to become better and more healthy and become easier to resolve once you understand where they come from. Take an example of two worlds. Both worlds have the same girl struggling in math. Let's say both girls get a D on a test.

Now let's look at world one, our world, the one that has no emotional intelligence. classes the girl sees the d gets angry angry upsets all the emotions when you have a bad grade and says I hate math the next exam comes and decides why bother studying anyway I'm just going to fail she catastrophizes when she sees the world in white and black and perceives his future becoming darker he is vulnerable and anxiety sees an opportunity to jump towards it he feels like he is in the eye of a tornado watching the world spin around him helpless - his attacks and this built-up pressure begins to have physiological effects on her body, depriving her of sleep, causing a positive feedback loop about the instability of her grades her vibrant colors her red passion her calm green and her optimistic yellow fade melt into each other blending into a monochromatic mass of darkness and mystery a few years later, after barely graduating from high school, this girl with this built-in mindset doesn't get into the college she once dreamed of, settles for a job she hates and considers it her destiny because she feels it's what she's meant to be. deserves.

She didn't have the most compassionate friends nor the most supportive family She was in a dark room locked in her own mind with no way out She needed a door I needed a lifeboat Now obviously not all students are like that and some are more natural tend to handle disappointment and stress, but that doesn't mean they can't still benefit from these classes and sharpen their EQ, and what's more, it dramatically affects the majority of the student population whose silent crises need to be addressed in a safe manner. learning environment so what can we do to help?

How can we support our next generation? Well, let's look at the other world: the world with emotional intelligence lenses. They are the same circumstances. The same girl. The only difference is that she has been in her first year for a semester. she makes up her exams and sees the D placed on her paper and red ink and before her emotions get the best of her, she stops and breathes because she remembers her Equ teacher, she remembers learning about a UC Davis study and, she recites it In his head, an experimental group was told to think about something they were grateful for every time they got stressed, this reduced their stress causing cortisol levels by 23%.

She remembers that these positive and free thoughts can become reflexes that eventually build in the brain and that people with these reflexes when they are hit. With waves of stress combating her almost instantly, she finds it interesting how anyone can create a self-made automatic coping system and become inspired to make it their own. This girl with new confidence is determined to try harder in her upcoming exam. she gets a B, which helps her realize that she is in control of her life, that effort is directly related to success, that everyone can do better despite how they feel about themselves.

EQ education teaches you that you can reach your lowest, most helpless point and still recover. As girls' emotional intelligence increases, the flow of information between their rational and emotional brain increases, allowing their rational brain to understand their emotions better than before and prevent them from taking over. Compare world 1 and world 2. We live in world 1, but I would like to. my children live in world 2 and have a chance. I didn't have to learn something essential for life. An important part of EQ is understanding that it is not fixed, it has an unknown capacity that anyone can use and grow, and can move forward. and may act outside the scope of helping emotionally vulnerable children, for example, imagine your friend Becca ignores you, you wave to her in the hallway, you put on your brightest smile and make direct eye contact with her and she walks past you. you now, the first thing you do. may appear in your brain, she screams, she hates you while your brain is racked with negative assumptions about her or she could have simply failed her exam or her mother yelled at her that morning or maybe she just didn't see you, we as humans tend to assume the worst case scenario mainly because we don't want to give ourselves false hope, after all, pain is easier to accept after you have given up, but these assumptions, thoughts poison our well-being more often than we think, negative or aggressive actions directed. towards us has nothing to do with what we did or who we are, most of the time it is the other person's problems that are projected onto us.

EQ schooling helps people understand that, really understand that and with that knowledge, bad experiences can be turned into great ones. asked Becca what's going on in her life, how she feels and instead of isolating her for ignoring you, you become closer friends as she tells you her problems and here's another EQ tip: call people by their names as as often as you can because it releases your good. Feeling hormone that makes you perceived as more likable since you triggered that chemical reaction. It's a fun way to trick people into liking you. It seems small and insignificant, but it really works.

On average we have around 400 emotional experiences every day. How nice would that be? If we can get just over half of them to be positive, an article by Lisa Firestone explaining how she taught an emotional intelligence course reveals that her students after taking this course had greater social awareness, self-awareness, were more introspective, were more creative, they had better leadership skills. They were somewhat able to communicate better and even achieved better academic results, while also reducing their anxiety and stress. EQ education helps students understand body language. to be able to work better in a group environment when they grow up and generally bring positive benefits to the world.

Now Western culture has a habit of labeling emotions as good or bad, but judging yourself for having these emotions and labeling them as undesirable prevents you from realizing what created them and when you ignore what created them, you ignore how the problem can be resolved. last year. The mechanism was to lock myself in my room, pretend it didn't exist and empty my mind, but using your brain without having any idea how it works is like trying to play Monopoly for the first time without instructions, it's confusing, frustrating and hard to win, even if it's fair. , monopoly is difficult to win even with instructions, emotional intelligence videos that I found online or my monopoly instructions, by watching these videos, they brought me out of my hole, allowed me to accept the help of my wonderful family and my friends who they support, I reject it.

In the past I tried new things and failed at some, but it didn't matter because I saw my life as a heart monitor. You may be high and low, from the tops of mountains to the depths of valleys, but that means you are alive. that your hearts beat and if you reject that life never reaches the top for fear of falling, your heart stops beating, is still and your story is dead, if you ever feel that your flat line does something fun in this period of time of the universe, we are only alive. For one second in a thousand years no one will remember your embarrassing moments, that time someone lent you their pencil and you accidentally started chewing on it, that time your stomach exposed your hunger in a silent math class or that time you got rejected, it's okay.

It means your monitor is going crazy because you are living your life to the fullest. I spent hours creating this art project for English and instead of thinking if this is good enough like I used to, I thought this is me, you can call it beautiful, ugly, stale or anything in between, but I loved it so I think if just a few hours of watching these videos a week would help me think meaningfully about what emotional intelligence courses could do for the nation, thank you.