Duck Dynasty: Si, Jase, and the Guys Explosively Celebrate Martin's Bachelor Party

The old ball and chain Martin are you getting nervous? Tell the truth no, I'm not nervous, you're not nervous, no, you seem nervous, huh, it's just the way you look, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, I'm not nervous, really, no, no, yeah, yeah. The last remaining

bachelor

in the

duck

call shot is getting ready to get married. His face is real. It's Sunburst to say that Martin needs some sprucing up. what he does together no man is apart, right, although we are not very well arranged, we do know a thing or two about marriage, the boy's life is fine, since he knows it, I tell you, you all are an excellent system of support, here he will do it. thanks for all the advice someday, so have you decided who will be your best man?

He would be a good godfather, huh? I thought he was your godfather anyway, no, I said you were the godfather for playing in the Bachelor.

party

, when is the

bachelor

party

? 'cause we're going to send the boy out in a blaze of glory. oh fireball, hey, can you get the email. I don't receive the email. I'll check the email, so I don't even know what email is like that, I sent a gallon by email, bring the cabin stuff, that's it, that's it, Kevin's stuff, what's the cabin stuff? Do you know things about the cabin? You

guys

don't know anything about a bachelor party.

Okay, no one said anything about explosives. They have to remove the explosives. a bachelor party Captain's building cabin stuff, you did it right man this place is awesome everyone sees a cannon outside it had all this stuff yeah I got the cannon look at all these old guns man we got one Civil War gun here, hey, Mark, how? a lot of gloves out there, okay, I'll do the class, hey, I challenge him to a duel, have you lost your mind? I'm General Nathan Beauregard, what and we'll meet on the field of honor, so unless you're all cowards, thank you, thank you just for the gun.

Again, this cabin is perfect for most of me, okay, he has everything you need, dueling guns, okay, gloves for slapping people, he has all the usual suspects here, rattlesnake, you have the turtle Boba and the little mutant who is a Chupacabra,

guys

, no it's not. I guarantee you it's fine, no one would choose this place. It looked like a redneck Applebee's here y'all and what's on the menu. What is it? It looks like a printer. It is a bread making machine. Have you ever been to a bachelor place? party I want to try it no, the answer is no, oh there's a time, hey, how did you get started ladies bang Zone, ready to start this party?

What the hell is that my karaoke machine? I'm talking about that growth on your face, right? above your upper lip and you're talking about this stash, is that going to be in your face for the focal point of my wedding? This is a premeditated beard murder. Al wasn't just fashionably late, he was about 40 years late and I wasn't. encourage shaving except in an emergency situation and that's 9-1-1 right there and I've never felt better. Mustaches alone haven't been cool since the '70s. I'm against all mustaches and we all know that was a troubling period in American history Magnum PI the greatest detective of all time is that not true is that identity crisis identity success the old inflation crisis this goes generation me mustaches Sam Elliott oh that's a good coincidence right I guess not, I mean the bachelor party was started well and now it's taken a turn are you ready to shoot some Steely D for the worst, hey, first guy to use that Teriyaki machine, okay, what am I doing with the gun?

He already slapped me with a glove, you know, guys, I think I got this thing. I can't get it to turn on for some reason. He fell short without scoring. Check that everyone heard that. Not perfect. Looks like I'm going to have to do this a cappella. Let me stop you right there. Look around and Tell me what you see lures knives broken karaoke machines a big blue marlin Chupacabra boys without sauce is there in Ferman hello Chupacabra boys no, that's the best thing here guns oh, okay look, I'm not an expert on bachelor parties but I do know that when it comes time to spice things up, you have all these weapons, some of them I've never even seen before, well, let's blow something up, that's what I'm talking about, hey, we can always do it later, no, no.

We're not doing it A bachelor party shouldn't be about checks, checks, pumpernickel bread, Chupacabra boys, it's about celebrating being a man and the best way to

celebrate

is with a gun in your hand, but I'd like to shoot that one Kentucky Flintlock that's what I'm talking about I got the ammo in that shadow he got a chin of ammo yeah what are we doing sitting here eating bread? Let's shoot some things. I know. Choose wisely and I'll see you outside. Wait wait. I don't have to get up here forget it, it's okay, you don't have to look at it, take the spare gun, hello, sir, challenge you to a duel, okay, everyone has your gunpowder, yes, foreigner, the gunpowder, well, this is taking a little while.

Here guys, if I were on the other side, everyone would be dead. Hey, everyone who's been in the military knows this. Hey, you have to be ready for battle at any time. Can you imagine someone charging at you while you have to do it? that's okay guys, I'm in full police, wait, I'm down, it usually goes out mid-cut, hey, if you weren't ready for the enemy attack, hey, you couldn't just say whoa whoa, wait a minute, wait everyone. Not ready yet, hey, look, this was a real battle. Martin would have lost half of his boyfriends. Are you ready, let me get comfortable?

What do we do? Well, wait, wait, hey, no luck for Jace, the opposition isn't much of a threat. private jingleberry you have insulted the honor of my entire family prepare to die sir smart aim fire d suck it that's what I'm talking about when I hit that flower it didn't look like Charles Bronson Charles Bronson yes exactly you didn't hit the flower no you don't look like Charles Bronson Death I hope you like it Tito Tito Bronson that works for me man when you shoot this it feels like you're shooting a cannon oh my god have you ever hit something with it?

I don't know, wait a second why. Aren't we going to shoot the real cannon now that we're talking? He doesn't know anything about heavy artillery. I hate to say it, but I think I'm a pain in the ass about this. You didn't come this far to retire from this country. set up in the back of the canyons I'm in I'm in America it's in the national anthem bombs exploding in the air oh, you've got me, you've got me there, I'm up for it and plus we're teaching Martin the greatest attribute in marriage , what are you, the cannon, it's easier to get forgiveness than permission, this is marriage 101.

Come on, I've wanted to shoot that cannon since I saw it, let's shoot that cannon now it's become a bachelor for these guys, I mean, what? What is the worst? that could happen death, death could blow us all away we could just be maimed, what do you think it's loaded guys, we're ready to send that thing into outer space, you think they're going to hit the cannon with the cannonball, yeah, handsome? you anything you can't blow up that barrel nothing nothing I bet you that mustache oh no wait a minute let's fly that don't go crazy here for the mustache the mustache stays put your batteries for you your mouth is okay, uh, as for whatever, are you sure or not?

I feel very confident about keeping my stash, that's all I can say, if you're so sure about it, yeah, yeah, I'll raise my mustache, yeah, oh, let's blow something up or we'll. You'll sit here and know, hey, I just made a bet, okay, the closest position, when was the last time you did that, hey, Canada, that's supposed to mean taking your stand, especially you, soldier. Dingleberry, hey, my military career didn't end after that. Vietnam I have participated in countless Civil War reenactments no one, oh, what did he say? I can't understand what he said, find more cannons, okay, look, it's not rocket science, clear the cannon, advance the round, hey, rocket science that was I didn't make it up until later, ready, one, two, three, thanks , you understand, not much, give me some of that.

And now that's a bachelor party? Guys, I don't know what's better than seeing that cannon shot, that shattered barrel, that you'll never have to look at. Al's mustache again, bye bye stash, oh this is under protest, sorry you have a razor, the only thing that could have made it better was if the concussion from the explosion made Al's mustache go away, but Fortunately for Al, there is a safer way to remove facial hair. smooth as a baby's bottom, well, I feel naked without my mustache, well, I wish I could say you look better, but no, no, I look good either way, very good.

I missed the cannon, oh yeah, you missed the mustache too. Who had a mustache? I don't. I don't want to talk about it, what do they say? We say a prayer and bless the food and then eat well.