David Letterman joins Inside the NBA | March 14, 2024

it's time no one introduced him he was in a bar uh with a friend of mine we get in the car and this guy is trying to be tough he drank too much he follows me two blocks he talks about how tough he is so you ignore him you ignore him, but he's approaching before I know it, he's right behind me and he challenged me to a fight and I said listen, I can't fight you, he says, I'm going to see how tough you are and he walks up to me and puts his Fist up and I I hit this is the kind of people I need in the jewels one of the Chucksters many views um David Letterman and how about this Shaq that was better that was a better time for Mr.

Letterman look at this he finally got Someone entertained on his show so It's, that's crazy, I'm so sorry, sir, thank you, wow, and what an honor it is for us in here to have David join us inside the coat of the suit, is what I'm doing here. What did you do? Tell me, when you saw that old clip of you and Chuckster, well, it looks dangerous, it looks like trouble from top to bottom and I looked like the youth minister at church, I think it was Chuck Aden's mustache, oh my God, that was. scary, something about your face was scary, but I didn't know it was Studio J, yeah, it's named after Ernie, no, it's not exciting at all, Jim Reeves, the late Jim Reeves, who was a great video guy for us, It's named after him, oh that's lovely.

So a guy who really put time into this building, actually, yeah, he worked tirelessly and made the show look as good as it does some nights and the other thing I'm excited about is I think I heard one of you invoke the phrase mofo you know in the house I don't use much hey you know you worked with us on uh on Allstar Weekend you and Reggie Miller were one of our regie Miller what a sweet guy uh it was a real thrill for me and the team The production team that I work with, we worked or they worked with me or vice versa, they did all the work, they were simply tremendous, and everyone here, when I was at CBS, everyone was like a minimum security prison, and no one was guilty. and everyone wanted to go home here, everyone is happy and carefree and they say they leave in the middle of the night you will be here until the sun comes up and everyone will be happy and laughing, no, it's going to be fun, hey, but I was wondering When I saw you wondering like a kid born in Indianapolis, mhm, are you the prototype?

Since everyone in Indiana grows up with a hoop in their backyard, that's always exactly right and I worry that over the years, the Legend, the myth of that has disappeared. has been usurped uh and I'm pointing the finger at my good friends the Indiana Pacers who, by the way, Chuck has now chosen to go all the way this year and he says it's the golden state is that D you ask a question, no, no, ER, excuse me. no sponsorship since 199, thanks he broke, it's not right, he has to do it, he did everything in his power to get me to pick the Pacers to win the championship today, shit no, and he said the key was and this It's a quote about LeBron. old because I only said it because it is, yes, but it looks like it's going to be the Pacers' year and I couldn't be happier, but every city he goes to he says the team is going to win and then he leaves the city.

No, I don't think so with me, sir, so is this what retirement is like for you? Because you know well, this, are you kidding me? First of all, I'm out of the house, that's great and I love being on TV, so this is the crown jewel, my friend, hey, come back, you know, what I didn't realize is that during the last two years you have been in cahoots or working together. The NBA is trying to improve this. You mentioned that and by the way, you don't hear the word Cahoots much, no, no, um, yeah, and it's no secret that Adam Silver came to see me a couple of years ago and he knew that I.

I'm from Indiana and I knew I played some in high school and he said Dave we want you to lead a focus group, he said we want to keep the ball rolling to use a little basketball term, he said a basketball ter, so of all modes We are looking for ways to improve the product to improve the product. Do you have any idea what it will look like so far? Yes, now we have it. This is a list of things that now some of them are on the fast track. Some of them will. go straight to next season, others are still developing so this is not a complete list and I would hate for someone to force us to do this.

Some of these things are changing. It is dynamic. Does everyone understand? I got it right, we all know what you are. ready to go and hope this sparks some service conversation, okay sure, this sounds somewhat like the top 10 list, why do you say it was a baby? There used to be one thing, let him get to his upgrade game, would that be it? bad if it was no I'm just asking because I like it used to I should enjoy the top 10 list oh you did it yes I did this is nothing like the top 10 list this is solid okay okay so uh was like you I know that I am the president of the competition committee and all these things have been reviewed.

We sent a carbon copy of what I'm seeing here or handed over to Adam Silver and he's reviewing them now. The first category is the team and the players and I think we will all agree that now is the time to strike while the iron is hot and if we don't do it now someone will. The players on each team are made up of the same number of men. and women's playing time is mandatory for all players unless injured, what do you think? Hey, no, I'm not mad at Caitlyn CK's game, yeah, I'm telling you right, so you split the team, everyone can play.

I'm going to go with that, that's good, thumbs up, that's how I do it as a player, Shaq. Each team has men and women. What did I just say? Equal equal number on each team. Ask him about the San Antonio team. What about San Antonio? Antonio, the team we have, we have to move forward. What are you talking about? It's right in the middle of some great ideas. It's okay, we're constantly looking for ways to make the game more interesting and it's an intellectual sport, you know. Look. these guys, um, score any missed shots inside the three-point line, subtract two points from the shooting team's score, you know what I'm saying?

Yes, sir, I like that because we're just waiting for that two-point shot to go away. No, I'd like it to be whatever Miss's three-point shot you deduct from. I like that idea too. Okay, can you come to a meeting with me? I'm busy, I'll make it busy, we can join you on Zoom, okay, okay. So now the treso brings the three point line uh nobody shoots anything but triples um so you have the three point line you leave it where it is you invoke something I like to call the five point line, you know what I do?

I say okay and the center line from half court is 10 10 points, okay, who has a problem with that? We play that way anyway yeah but we've changed the rule but we're assigning true value but imagine the lines around every arena in North America waiting to get in to see this okay I agree more with the first one than with the second and the third, go ahead, no one cares about Ernie, I know, why didn't you go out with a tie? He stole my tie early mofo that mofo stole my time say that mofo stole everything from me right now here's something Adam Silver asked us to spend a lot of time on fouls fouls listen to me the player who commits a foul is benched depending from the foul for two three or five minutes, the team plays shorthanded during the time it's like hockey, it's exactly like hockey, what do you think?

I like the power play in hockey, yeah, can you imagine playing five4? Yeah, what's up with that? That would be fun. funny, but that's hockey, okay, that would be very funny, no, they didn't ask us to design comedic moments for the game. I would give my opinion on that, but no one cares, go ahead, okay, and by the way, there is no substitution if a player commits a foul. offending team uh plays shorthanded Shack Shaq likes that rule no rules hacker shacking no, you do it oh, you do F and then you don't get replaced oh, you don't get replaced oh, that's even funnier, that's even more comical.

I love, love, taking this seriously. Well, now let's go to the court. I recently attended a game in Indianapolis to watch the Spurs and Pacers and I was lucky enough to sit under one basket and it was great for two quarters for the other. two quarters wasn't that good, so this is what they came up with, the team on offense, this is how we used to play in high school. Court ball, playground ball, the offensive team retains possession until they score. The player summarizes the opposite, you know what I'm talking about, yeah, do it, take it, take it, take it, that's what we do, that makes you play defense, yeah, that makes you play, they should implement that in the game of stars, yes, they are.

We're still going to have the All-Star Game, did you hear anything about that? I wouldn't be surprised if they consulted you on how to improve it, uh, oh, and by the way, here's the new court, uh, Adam Silver says we need to sell more. Tickets on the court, so here's the solution: you play the first quarter up there and then you rotate it clockwise, the second quarter goes there, but look at the increase, look at the number of fans that get the seats on the court, did you do it by show of hands? That is your work of art. all the computer stuff oh yeah who is Ren?

Yeah, it's pretty good, what do you think? So what is Adam Silver's reaction? B oh, he loves it, he's completely into it, and then finally, oh no, we're not, we're not there yet. Did they say what can we do with the hoop? The hoop, so here we go, first quarter stays at 10, gets two points, second quarter goes to third, goes to 11 feet, you get three points, third quarter goes to 12T, you get four points, fourth quarter , 13 feet. you get five points, how much math do you have in this system? I think you'll get, I think you'll get used to it, at half court, someone makes a half court shot in the fourth quarter with a 13t, uh, yeah, it's got to be 14 points for one shot, but you see the way I see it, we are making money, we are printing our own money with this and the salaries are not going to disappear, gentlemen, definitely wait for them to be defined, they are definitely not going to disappear.

Okay and now finally let me know when the Uber arrives. This is for the kids so we all know you get the thanks. Kenny. In the fourth quarter, all free throws attempted by the team mascot. I'm going with Rocky winning that one in Denver. There you go, what do you guys think? And, by the way, you're welcome. I agree, thanks for everything you said. I agree. There you go, this is exactly what I am, I mean it's for the kids, yes definitely, for the kids, my kids would enjoy it. That, so I would be happy to help cover the finals, we, we will be in the west, the Western Conference finals this year, so you have an open invitation, by the way, you know one of our traditions here on the show, um, it is. when Chuck makes a guarantee, I heard about this, this is so exciting, we like it, we like it.

Let's see, we can drop things from the ceiling on him, so sometimes before this happens, let me say one thing that I was watching last week and I got really excited because Shaquille and Chuck were very close to getting into a slap fight and I I was sitting at home praying to God to make it happen, do you remember what I was on? Do you want to see Jaqu take a beating? No, I just thought, well, here it is. something you don't know May I'm doing it we were both praying at the same time Dave May 19 let's go diving tonight it could be hammers, let's take it off come on wait wait you have to do a little bit of everything in that hurt got some of the rubber duckies, It didn't even become an addiction, someone else's show and ruining my coat D, wow, oh I didn't get any, oh yeah, I also rub duckies, we have Shack dollars here, Dave, thanks.

Man, it's a pleasure, thank you very much, that's all, thank you very much, it's great to be here with this institution, Kenny, thank you very much Legend, Chuck Charles, thank you very much, it's an r for the interior brought to you by KIA, don't be surprised if one of these days you see a Charles Barkley story on the David Letterman show yeah, you never know, good night from Atlanta, thank you very much, that hurt, that hurt truck always takes a little jump, oh, there's a couple of things in the ones that hurt me.