Cynthia Erivo ON: How To Find Your PASSION & Get 1% BETTER Everyday | Jay Shetty

There is usually a rhythm written into the way you speak, the way you speak,

your

syntax, and the words you use. When you

find

that rhythm, you

find

his internal style. heartbeat, you find the heartbeat and then I wonder, well, how do they move? What are they looking for? Is there urgency in how they move? If they walk fast. Are they moving away from something? Are they trying to get? to something quickly they think fast or if they move slowly they are apprehensive about something or they are really relaxed about things they have nothing to worry about if they are if they are anxious maybe that's why they move fast or maybe it's On the contrary, maybe they're so anxious that they're paralyzed and they can't move at all, so they move very slowly, because what if I get there and something happens and then I just find what fits this person and then it's?

Well, how do they talk if they are confident? Well, maybe they don't need to sound very sweet and therefore their voices are not as high-pitched or maybe they are a little restrained and therefore a little quiet. things feel a little whispered and there was a really interesting documentary about Princess Diana and me. It's so fun to listen to her because her voice changes as the years go by, when you first meet her it's almost like she's whispering and swallowing her words and Pump doesn't really use her mouth much and she's very quiet and very reserved and as she you get to know her as the years go by, when she like now I know who I am, she starts to use her mouth more, so it sounds really. rounded and that's what you're finding out about these people and I love trying to figure out what this person is, how she grows and how she grows through meeting them and through these episodes or through the movie. change does it change?

Do they move with more confidence? Do they move more smoothly? they are fast? They throw out so many questions that I ask myself and then stupid things like what scent do they use because we all have sensory memory, so if there is a particular one? The scent they use is because it reminds them of something and when I put on that scent, does it make me think of something or do they like makeup? And if you like makeup, is there a particular way you do it? Do you want

your

eyebrows messy? Do you want them very organized when you put on your clothes?

Are they looking for comfort or not? With Holly she always wore a button because she felt like protection. Her neck was covered and she wore comfortable shoes so she could move around easily. I wouldn't think about her feet, but those things are yeah, you know they change with Aretha, she needed heels and she needed a look and she got her eyebrows done particularly and they were a particular shape with an inky black line, you know, and with Celie that. It changed when she put on pants she could walk

better

and it had a heel, a thick block shaped heel which meant it liked to make sound when she moved, before it had a shorter heel which was like a soft shoe that didn't make any noise. sound al All that meant he could move very fast because if he didn't move fast he would be in danger.

So it's about how to find all the things that make this person a round person so that when you meet them. on the screen you say, oh, I can see this person and it's three-dimensional, four-dimensional and not just someone who I read a script about where that skill and skill came from because obviously it can be seen as a technique, but when you talk about it it's not a technique, it's something you know, it's not just like, oh, you've read it in a book, yeah, it's how you think, how you feel and how you empathize with this person and even when we were talking about Diana, obviously there's someone who doesn't. has played, but you're looking at that and you can look at where that skill came from, how it developed, do you remember when you started?

Did you start doing that when you were watching TV as a kid or did you know where, yeah, where it came from? I'm not even sure when it started. I think I've always been a people watcher. I think I always have been. I observed how people move, what people are like so I could communicate

better

with them. I haven't always been perfect, but that seems to be my kind of cheat code for knowing what a person needs from me in a conversation. Sometimes I look at people's lips. to make sure that I'm really listening or looking at their eyes because those are the places that give you what a person's emotional life is and I think I've always applied that to my daily life and then when I went to drama.

In school he learned to act and to make sure that there is a reason for something and what the reason is for what you say. What we say is 50 of what we mean, often how we say it and what we think while we say it. Words are not necessarily what we think, they are just a representation of how we feel and until we know when we are not afraid, words are what we think, but often with people when we are saying what we believe the other person you want to hear rather than what we want to say, so I learned about that in drama school and then applied it to the broader space of my life and then I.

I know as you get older you start to want to connect with people and that desire to properly connect with people. I think it just fuels my work. I want people to connect with people that I can play with and I call them people because not. See them only as characters when you see the people you are playing or what people would know as characters as a whole and realized people, you will know them better, which means you can give it to someone else to introduce them to everyone watching and so on. knowing how to connect and feel like they are real people in the world that I may not come into contact with, but they exist and I want that for the people that I play, yeah, that's the desire for consistent connection with my characters, yeah, right?

Do you feel that sometimes? I've coached many people who act rather than not act, obviously in life and work, but how do you also often feel that sometimes those people become a part of you? Oh, and not that. Are you trying to get rid of them? Do you try to keep them? It leads to, you know, the tragic event of someone taking their own life and we hear about it and it's very extreme, but I don't think we talk about it enough with actors who, as you know, spend their days taking on new roles and they like it. how long does it take to become someone and then lose someone and yeah, you know, right now everyone says Austin Butler sounds like Elvis Elvis in every interview and the thing is I feel for him because I know he's not putting that on, yes of course.

It doesn't happen to you and it's very different for everyone, but for me it takes a while to lose a character because if you did your job correctly, they weren't just a character, they were a part of you, you had to do it. it infuses using this person with some of you, yes, so they and they have to come from you, they are in your body, they use your voice, they use your face, they use your gestures, you create them together, they take up space within you, they take up a little bit of your heart because you have to say what you say and when you finish the role, usually after a couple of months, three months, sometimes six, I'm about to play the character for a year, they are part of you . and what people don't realize is that your body doesn't realize that it's not real, it thinks that this thing that's happening is you, it's real, yeah, so in the end you have to let your body know that it's Well let this happen.

Go, but it will take a while because you have learned to teach your body to do it quickly. Get to that person quickly. Quickly eliminate what you know is your

everyday

life and quickly get to the person you're playing with every day. That's what You want faster access, so now the access is really fast and to the point where, well, now you don't have to think about taking on the role because you're already there, yeah, you wake up in the morning, already you know, oh, me. I'm going to put this on and this is it and there we go, look at your mirror and I'm here, there we go, hello, nice to meet you and at the end of a project, it takes some time, some projects are easier, like going out. of the blue fairy very easy I didn't have to film for a long time, so it was lovely and I know it's fantasy, but it didn't take me too long, yes, getting out of Aretha, getting out of Harriet, getting out of Holly, very different. things because I was there for months with these people Holly was so funny because her walk was so different someone sent me a video of me walking on set and I thought that's not me that's not me the posture is different the walk was different different weight the way I moved my head was different the way I talked to people and even my hair and makeup team it was like you walked into the trailer and it wasn't you we didn't meet, we met Holly most of the time and it would take a while to let them go the person I just played her name is Jacqueline I spent three four months with her and I still remember everything she went through like it was me and it takes time if you're serious yes it will take time I support exactly that Austin Butler he walks around with this accent because I imagine he filmed this movie for six months to a year, so he had to learn this sound and when you learn a sound it doesn't leave you, yeah, you know he can fall into it. just for Then he rehearsed it and then he sang the songs like he's also crazy, yeah, he put a voice on top of his that won't sound because the movie's over, yeah, there's no way he can do it, yeah, how does it affect That to your relationships during that time?

I wonder how that affects your personal life because because like you say, it's not as easy as on, off, off, yeah, it's not like there's a switch, yeah, how does it affect your friends? It's always easy, but if you have people around you who understand the work you are doing. They are simply patient with you. I've been smart enough to get a really good therapist so I can talk about it. Talking about it really helps you let go because you can find the separation between you and the person you were playing. The more you talk about it, the less you are you and the more you let them go, the more you give your body permission to let go of something that is a life lesson, not just an acting lesson, the easier it becomes to let go.

The reason for going to therapy was that the reason was part of it or yeah, and just like things in life, things you know, I, my mom raised me, uh, my dad wasn't around and we don't realize it. that it sticks to the bones. You don't realize about a person because it comes out in different ways and I just wanted to be freer of that, so I wanted to give myself more access to my completely emotional parts and in order to do that I had to leave him. Eliminate any resentment or discomfort and it doesn't go away overnight, but it helps create space.

I wanted to better understand the relationships I have in general, where I am. You know, confusing something with pain instead of if I'm thinking that someone is being bad, I need to know what they're going through too because it may not be vindictive, it may not be a bad thing, it may just be that they're suffering too, but What is it about me to see your It hurts me so bad. Am I suffering in a place? So it's just about finding better ways to communicate with people. Therapies really helped me with that. How do I want to communicate better with people?

How can I show up as my best self? And that's not always a lie. the basis for really great communication, yeah, I think it's a really beautiful way. I've never heard it described like that, yes, in fact, I think it's a really refreshing description because it's almost like we're literally running away from the conflict here, yes, from the restlessness, here, from the discomfort. Yeah, yeah, and it's like, personally, professionally, a family, whatever it is, and you're just running from discomfort to discomfort to Discount. Yes, and you never had time to think about it. Yes, you never try to prepare.

Yes, you never had time to report. Just like you know, you can do that at work, yes, but when do you debrief in person after an altercation with someone and therapy or coaching or the ability to talk to someone in your life like you? You can start going. Oh well, actually I've thought. about this right and that's how I feel about right instead of I'm just feeling I'm just feeling I'm just feeling yeah and also those feelings end up being exacerbated because you're just talking to yourself yeah you can't actually process something if you're just talking to yourself you need ears that can say well, I know you're feeling that, but this is what I hear as you tell me this has been a wonderful game changer when the words you say "What you're saying isn't actually what you "You're saying, yeah, that's not what you're feeling, what you're saying is not what you're saying, yeah, yeah, and that's what we all struggle with is that we are this misalignment between who we are." Thinking and saying yes and feeling yes is much more widespread than we think, yes, which is a belief that you think you once had about yourself that led you down a scary or wrong path.

Is there a belief or value? or an idea you had about yourself that you think didn't lead you in a great direction. I don't know if there is something like that.I think it's just little things that come up sometimes you wonder if you're good enough for something that we We all suffer from it in some way and some know it more than others to varying degrees and when you're younger it feels huge and then, As I've gotten older, it washes over me from time to time and then I let myself know that. what's meant for you will come to you and if it wasn't meant to come to you it won't be good enough period if you're doing the work of being a good person to prepare yourself for the job you want if I spend the time you know running every day no, it's a holistic thing that I give myself my therapist told me when you do something or eat something or buy something or drink something ask yourself if you love yourself when you do that and if the answer is yes then you've done a good work and if the answer maybe not something different, if your life is a series of things that you know are good and you and they are a series of things that you are what is known as loving yourself you are good enough and all you're doing is preparing for what's supposed to happen to you yeah every time I've gone I've wanted to do that and it doesn't always turn out well something else comes up and I'm like oh I got it yeah yeah I know it was supposed to I shouldn't do that because that thing came and it's amazing, so I want to do that.

Thank you Universe, thank you God, yes, for bringing that up. As I always tell people, every no is just space for a yes, every no is just space for what's supposed to happen, you're making space for the yes that's supposed to be there. I loved your response to that impostor syndrome while Call It Today that you felt like the idea that anything that comes to you is meant to come to you, yes, even if you feel that way, yes, and I feel that way a lot. I experience impostor syndrome all the time. I can do incredible things that I could never have imagined or dreamed of doing and then you are presented with this opportunity and you are afraid before you prepare, you are afraid before you even get there and you haven't experienced it yet, so I have no idea what you are in for. you're messing around, but you just know that it's something good in front of you and I like it, what if I'm not good enough for it?

Am I supposed to be here? Yes, you were supposed to be here, not just because you are the person who is supposed to do it but you are the person who is supposed to experience it because your experience is valuable if you share your experience maybe you are the person who changes the mind of another person about this particular experience because someone else might be I'm petrified of leaning into it, but since you're the person experiencing it, you're the right person to send the message to the next person. You get what I mean absolutely, yes, that's crystal clear.

I love it. Yes, yes, no. exactly what I'm saying, what really clicks for me as you're talking is that idea that has come to me, it's for me to experience, it's for me to go through and what we do is we're afraid of you. You get through it and probably did better than you thought and then you beat yourself up for not doing a great job and then when the next thing comes along you do the same thing again and what you're doing. to say it is so fascinating that yes, it is for you to experience it.

I think it's beautiful, that's even better than just this for you to do, yeah, or for you to have, yeah, it's like no, there's an experience here that's been perfectly designed just for you, just for you, yeah , yes, and we don't always live in that Miracle or live in that space, how have you felt about what you are doing now? It's come that way and you're like, oh, this was just for me. Is it the experience you were supposed to have? Was there anything recently or, oh, I mean, is it coming? I'm doing Wicked, so there was this other cool thing that I really wanted to do and it didn't quite work out and because it didn't work out. it meant I was even available to be seen for Wicked and now I'm doing it and it came out of nowhere.

One day my agent called him and told him they were seeing people for Wicked and I was like, I had no idea this was happening and now it is what it is and I'm doing it and it's been a really wonderful experience so far. I've been talking to John, our director, and Ariana, and we're really like finding our type of group like what's our what's the mind of the group want what we want to tell with the story how we want it to look what we want the feel of. people how we want to feel when we do all those things and it wouldn't have happened if there was a yes, yes, because this yes was supposed to come, you know, yes, yes, how does it feel when you work with other incredibly creative people that a mind can be really challenging? get your mind right and say I know what I'm doing, yeah, now you have three sets of imposter syndrome, three sets of emotion, three sets of artists like, what have you discovered?

At this point, is there a system or process? that you can follow to help everyone feel comfortable, like how that works. It's often about thinking less, and I know this sounds counterintuitive, but less about what you need and more about what they need, what this person needs right now. to feel confident enough that they can go through this with you, what can I do to make you understand that I am also here for you and if I am here for you, you can be here for me and therefore we can think together ? Figure it out together and I think once that's established, it's just a matter of throwing around ideas and what happens with this?

There is no wrong idea like creating a space for when you want a single minded idea. It's about creating a safe space and us. I hear the words safe space used a lot, but that's really what creating a safe environment is so that we can throw anything at the wall, like what's up with this. It may sound completely ridiculous and outlandish, but it's okay to throw it in this circle. because we're all going to appreciate it, it may not be entirely correct, but we're going to say that actually this extravagant thing could actually work, what if we applied it to this thing here and made it work that way ? then we are all so now we have the same opinion we are of the same agreement we can have different thoughts and different ideas but somehow they all come together because we are all there for the same purpose if you discover that the purpose is that we are all going in the same direction, so you can't necessarily go wrong, you won't really have to manage everyone's Impostor Center because it's not about us, it's about the bigger picture at hand, how do we approach it? this challenge together and make it work yeah, yeah, I love that idea of ​​I think that space of there are no bad ideas and uh, don't judge someone by their bad ideas, judge them by the good ones, yeah, and judge them by their bravery to match .

I gave the idea first even though everyone knows it's Syrian and you're so right that very often a bad idea is actually the seed of a great idea, it's just that you have to save it, take it apart and get it. get rid of all the dust, remember that there's actually something really interesting there, like there's an interesting perspective or way to look at it, yeah, what do you think Cynthia for you? What is the biggest change you have made in your life and what do you think has been the biggest? change in your life like there's a habit, a practice, obviously, executing is huge, I think we discussed it, is there anything else, a change that you've made internally in your belief system or externally or in your values ​​that you think you've made? been?

The Catalyst for all these changes in mentality and this greatness that has come your way, comes from having had a religious education that you have spiritualized, comes, you know, because it always fascinates me when you talk and when you put these ideas together, I think there is so much beauty. , there's so much eloquence and then there's elegance too and then I'm like, well, how do you know? I'm like I love it I guess when you were saying like when you look at a role or a person, you actually said a person, a real person, not a character, you were saying that you loved how they figure out how they walk and how they talk and why they do this.

I think for myself. When I am, I am fascinated by human behavior from the point of view of how humans can change correctly. I think that's what I'm obsessed with. I always think, well, when that person made that change, what did he do? Yes, that helped. them to make that change and how other people can benefit from that, yes or how that person makes decisions that make them a better decision maker or yes, why that person lies, steals, cheats or whatever ruins their life. I think so, I'm just trying to understand what change you had to make a mindset change or do you think it was a snowball effect just because of these positive experiences that you kept accumulating.

You think of it as a slow, steady accumulation of attempts. I just tried things when I was younger. I was a little scared when I first went to drum school. What actually happened was that I met someone at a young access company. I told them the story before Ray McCann and she told it to me. I should go to drama school, but before that I had just gone out on a whim and decided I don't want to be one. I can't go to university and study this subject. It's not that it doesn't feel good. It is too.

I like to listen to myself and be okay with that. This could be a terrible mistake, but I'm not going to do this and I think everyone expected me to, so I'm leaving college. I'll just try these young actors. company this course that is in a theater is not is is not a massive course that is all over the world like no one really knows but it feels good so I'm going to go there. I meet Rey whom I had not seen. for five years she tells me to go to theater school I tell her no I tell her I won't do it there is no way I can get in she says well you can't come to this course if you don't apply for this one wow, it's great and I say okay, I'll apply to this school, but only this school, only this one, only because you asked me to and I'm only applying for this fine.

I apply and we and I do the work we don't. call it I really work to get to these auditions and somehow I find myself at this theater school World Academy of Dramatic Arts is one of the best schools in the world for acting and I feel like a fish out of water, but a lot of my experience in this school is about what feels right to me because that's how I can really evaluate it in a moment like and I and I was physical, I was exercising a lot and one of the teachers says, oh, you should stop exercising because you know you need to. soften you and I said: I don't know if it's true.

I'm going to keep exercising because it's good for my brain and my mind, so I'm going to keep doing that. and I find a person in my class who just plays the piano, he plays the piano beautifully, so we just take books from the library that are musical scores and we go through these scores, one of them turns out to be Wicked and Learn that school backwards I don't have idea that 10 or so years later wow, that's what I'm doing now I have no idea I have no idea I just love music and I and I know that going to a music room with a piano with this person to sing all this music It feels really good, yeah, it feels good, we're doing these shows and we're all trying to get our agents and everything and I guess I don't think it's the traditional way to get it. an agent is actually going to work for me, so we put on a cabaret at the bar because it feels good.

I get my agent and I finish early, so when I go to do this we call it the tree, which is like a presentation of different scenes I just do the things that make me feel good, yeah, and people love it and I feel good when I finish and there's no pressure, there's no anxiety and I come out with a show to go to and it's been a series of what my instinct is and my heart tells me that the color purple came because I knew it would come and I thought, I know it's supposed to.

I have to play Celie. I just know it. I can't tell you why, but my gut tells me, my heart tells me. Me, that's what I'm supposed to do, I have no idea what's going to happen next. We do this show in a small theater with 200 people, it's a place for 200 people, that's all towards the Nar. Then you want? Do you think you'd like to do this on Broadway? I don't think they're serious about cutting it down to a year or two later we're on Broadway and we're doing this show. I have no idea about any of this.

I think it's just an accumulation of genuinely listening to myself and not being afraid that the decision could be totally wrong. You know, yes, because yes. It may be wrong, but it's somehow right, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, if you just provoked something with me that I think has some truth to it, it's the idea that if you listen to everyone else, you're probably that they are. wrong, right, and if you listen to yourself, chances are you're right, and there may be some ways things can go wrong, but when you listen to yourself, you can take responsibility when it doesn't work, you can do it faster , TRUE?

Or is it okay when you listen to someone else and it goes wrong and then you keep blaming them again? Oh yeah, I shouldn't have listened to that person right and it's like, but no, you don't need to listen to what he says. I thought of everyonemodes and I loved that and I love all the dots and the cans, the cool joins, yeah, and that's the beauty of it, like looking back, yeah, there's that beautiful quote from Steve Jobs where he said you can't connect points. You can only move forward well when you look back and feel that that is exactly what you are.

I just did this because it felt good, yes I did this and now when I look back I encourage everyone not to. look for the connection moving forward yes, as if you find it there is no connection, you will find it later yes, keep taking steps forward again, one step in front of the other, yes, keep moving forward, that's beautiful Cynthia, not in that, I mean , I could talk to you for hours and I hope we do, but we purposely end each episode with what we call, there are two segments, yes, one of them is called "many sides of us", okay, where we ask you to use a word or a phrase is okay to describe yourself through different mirrors and different lenses and the other is Fast Five, so here are your questions, what is a word?

Make up a sentence that someone would say about you when you first met. I've been hearing that she is very warm, that's beautiful. I would have to agree, yes, and you are very warm. Today I see you for the first time even though we have talked before, so I am very warm. In fact, the last time I interviewed you it was like this. only audio so it's always different when finally and I was like you have a way of speaking that people want to hear well that's what I noticed about you. I thought I really care about what she has to say because if you're Caden the tone is just yeah the texture of your voice I'm so intrigued so that was something special too okay what's a word or phrase to describe What would someone who knows you very well say?

I am stubborn, oh yes, stubborn in that I like to do things on my own and it is a trait that I am having to change a little because there is something wonderful and positive about that I can do it and I am pragmatic I can do things, but there is also the other part that it's okay someone else can help you you could help too yeah it took me eight. I know how that feels, yes I know, yes yes I can relate to all of that. true, then he's not stubborn, the same way my wife understood it.

Got it, yeah, okay, let's just clarify, okay, question number three, what is a word or phrase that you would use to describe yourself? open beautiful, what is a word or phrase? that someone who maybe doesn't like you would say about you difficult, I don't settle well, I'm really glad you brought that up, let's do it, so I get a lot of feedback, yeah, and it comes from my internal responsibility. I have this unique opportunity to serve the world the way I want and I never thought it would be possible. I'm very grateful for that, but now I can't settle properly and I don't want to treat this as fair. a job or a career or it's so much more to me than any of those things, tell me how you deal with that when you're considered difficult in your own way, in your specific experience of that word, the way that I've approached it.

It's changed over time before I probably got defensive about it, yeah, it's in our nature to defend ourselves when we don't like what we're hearing about ourselves right now, I think so. Have more patience to sit and be like that. The reason you may think I'm difficult or see that is because I am. Maybe I'm asking for things that I feel like are too much, but I really am. I am asking for the things that will allow me to be my optimal self for you, yes, so that when we come out of this you will know that I have given you everything I can give you in the best way possible, it just takes patience and understanding. being able to meet in the middle, that's beautiful, yes, I love that great description, okay, question number five, yes, what is a word or phrase that you are trying to embody today? something you're working on, something you're on Today I already have this, but I think it's an

everyday

Voyage Joy, I just look for joy in every day, like in the little things, being able to finish organizing something or I made my dresser around my bathroom and I think it looks very tidy, it's a little piece of Joy meeting people on the streets I run a little piece of Joy I found I don't know a chocolate bar that I haven't tried in a long time Joy, you know, I managed to get everything ready and I got the suitable suit for my water. prepared I'm prepared to date Joy like finding bits of joy in the little moments so that we're not just waiting for big, massive things to happen which is actually a daily accumulation of goodness, yeah, so that when the big things come they're like a cherry on top, yeah, yeah, I love that, that's beautiful, yeah, and I wanted to end with our final conversation what we talked about briefly before we started and that was you were saying that you're at this point in life where what are you.

We're trying to figure out the difference between speaking from a place of love and then speaking from a place of fear. So often we try to speak from a place of love, but in reality we end up speaking from a place of protection, yes, yes. I wanted to hear how you felt today when you shared how that has evolved for you because I think you're so right. I think especially people in the public eye, yeah, they're always from a place of fear, yeah, because everything you say is things like they can be taken apart and highlighted and can be blown up disproportionately, so explain that to me.

I think we've misunderstood what it means to speak from a place of love because we believe that speaking from a place of love is protecting someone's feelings, but in protecting someone's feelings, protecting your own feelings because you don't want that person's feelings. They may come back to you and make you feel hurt, but in reality, if you speak from a place of love, you are actually communicating. another person about which can help both of you meet somewhere in the middle and understand each other, so if I say, let's say something as simple as someone has said something that hurt your feelings instead of saying what you said hurt my feelings. and I know. that that's not what you intended to do but that's how I felt that person can leave.

I'm so sorry, it wasn't necessary. That's not what I meant at all. Now we haven't exacerbated anything I just told you. how I felt from a place where I wasn't afraid of you getting defensive about what you said, it wasn't that you said that thing and I don't think it was right and it was a very cruel and different line, wasn't it? I'm not speaking from a place of this is what I felt when you came to me, it's that what you meant, yes, now there's a space to have a conversation, well, actually, maybe this is what I meant. , I know, I understand, it's okay, okay.

Now we can have a discussion about something, yes, when we speak from a place of love, what we are actually doing is giving the other, the other person, the opportunity to be understood and therefore you also have the opportunity to be understood when we speak from a place of fear we are trying to prevent the other person from getting angry to prevent ourselves from feeling even more rejection or more discomfort and we cannot walk like that, we are essentially walking like broken shelves that do not work we want to allow people feel complete every time we have a conversation with them, yeah, leaving a conversation thinking, oh, I learned something, I understand something, I know something, if you leave a conversation, I really got what I needed from it and that's it.

People often leave conversations, especially arguments, you leave an argument, you think I don't think I got what I wanted out of it, yeah, I don't think I got the conversation with my ex that I needed, I'm still missing things. I still don't understand certain things because we weren't talking from a place of how do we fix this, how can we make this better, we just want to be heard, you want to be heard instead of I want to understand you so you can understand me now we walk away thinking oh we have something. , yeah, and usually at the end of those conversations when you say I want to understand you want to understand you're like you're good, I'm fine, yeah, okay, should we start over?, yeah, let's start over, that tends to be how they end. those conversations.

I love them, yes, yes, I love them too. It makes a lot of sense and today has been a conversation full of love. joy, yes, filled with a lot of understanding and I know that anyone who listens to this talking to you, it's like it's therapeutic in nature, it's very much like I feel like anyone who listens to this or watches this will walk away feeling a sense of genuine joy because I think that the way you talk about your life, the way you talk about these Miracles, the way you talk about connection, the way you talk about work, but also the wisdom that comes from it, is really special and beautiful, thank you so much, thank you for being here today, thank you for doing this, I hope you had fun, I did, it's lovely and I hope you feel heard and seen and understood a lot and I want to welcome you all home to make sure. that you share what you learned from this episode through social media so that we can go back to what were those little moments that Cynthia mentioned that connected with you and that resonated with you that you're going to try, that you're going to start.

Fascinated by that, what are you going to start doing? I like that question, yeah, yeah, and Sydney. I hope you come back a year later. Yes Yes. I can't wait for Pinocchio. Very excited too. I am very excited. I can't not wait. I'm very excited but very excited about this. Thank you so much, thank you so much for having me, thank you, thank you, if you love this episode, you'll also love my interview with Charles Duhigg on how to hack your brain, change any habit effortlessly, and the secret to making better decisions when people talk about procrastination , when they talk about overthinking, what they are really talking about is the first step, once you take the first step, it is used.