Cosmo Quizzes are BULLSH*T!!

Hello everyone, my name is Markiplier And welcome to another test video. This time, we are going to take a path we have not done before. .... That? This time we are going to try something we have never done before! *inhales* UUAH *Clears throat* This time we're going to try something stupid, not that the tests we've done before weren't stupid. I mean, they were about me. So of course they were stupid! So it's a common joke on the Internet that Cosmopolitan *pause* is pointless, both in terms of the advice they give and the

quizzes

they have. So! I'm going down these paths because I've selected a few that I think you'd like to know about me.

How are you! "Which Disney Prince is your soulmate?" "Which lively girl is the love of your life?" I think my IQ dropped a little after reading that sentence. Other than that...Who wouldn't want to know who my soulmate is? Which Disney prince is my soulmate Specific Not general, what a man. (Yes, anyway) But which Disney Prince? And in my opinion, it could be this guy. This guy here This guy I don't really know... I don't know! Did you know? Let us begin. What's the worst that could happen? Don't know. Make fun of myself on the Internet?

As if that had never happened before *Uhg* Ah. Do you want to learn some of my own dark secrets? Ok "Pick a place for the first meeting." An amusement park, a gym Dining at a dimly lit restaurant Ice cream and cake at sunset Helicopter flight to the Hamptons Um, okay Amusement park is good Fitness is weird Dining at a dimly lit restaurant? Why do you call it a dimly lit restaurant? Couldn't it be a "romantically lit restaurant"? It has to be dim- *laughs* *still laughing* it has to be a dimly lit restaurant.... Just a completely dark restaurant.

Like, Oh my God! That's just a scene from a horror movie! Why is this so? You can't see anything! You can't read the menu! What is this shit? What's going on here? Wait, what is this? "Hello!!" Hey! "Go ahead! Go ahead" Okay? What... "We're in the back, preparing a beautiful sensory experience." "Tonight you will dine in the dark." "Turn off the lights!" *Amazement and shock of all the guests* OOOOOOOOOH! “Voila, right in front of you.” Mark: What are you doing d- “It smells delicious!” “This is delicious mozzarella!” What the fuck is this? What the fuck is this?!?!

Host: "Okay everyone" Mark: What the fuck is this?!?!?!? Host: "How would you feel if you could have this at home?" Woman: "I was actually going to ask if we could get the recipe for your crispy crust. It's great." "You can also have this at home because you only eat frozen pizza." Woman #1 “Nooo!” Woman #2 *laughs* Woman #1 “Leave it!” NOOO! "Real?" Ah - Get rid of this nonsense *sneer* Really? Frozen pizza? I LOVE DIGIORNO GIVE ME A FUCKING SPONSORSHIP DEAL WITH DIGIORNO Ok, anyway- Ice cream and cookies at sunset doesn't make any sense either! Because at the end of the date there's a helicopter ride to the Hamptons?

Why would you want that? Just go to an amusement park! *laughs* So you can miss it if you hate the date! “What is the most important quality you look for in a man?” *deep voice* ME. Heh- *deeper voice* ME. *laughs* How many Instagram followers do you have? Yes, that's what I'm looking for. "If a guy doesn't text you back right away, what do you do?" Let's see, *laughs* spam his cell phone with more messages until he responds. Get on with your life, he will respond when he has time between honoring the world with his presence. Send a message to a friend.

Call it. Send him a text message. That's a bold step. . I'm just going to spam you, non-stop! Because... What if he's dead? What if he's in trouble?! What if they don't like me?! “Which Kardashian-Jenner sister do you identify with the most?” I don't know any! Kim out! And I don't even WANT to meet her Why are they all 'K' names? Why are they ALL 'K' names? This makes no sense! *nervous laugh* I don't know- *singing* This is where I'm completely ridiculous! *more singing* I don't know who those people are! *singing* I don't know what I'm doing, I'm going to go for..... *inhuman scream* Kendall?

Ok, "Choose a Fro-Yo dressing." (Frozen yogurt) Condensed milk?!?! Condensed milk?!?!?!?!?!?!??? Cheesecake cubes? Are those pretty good mochi? No, I don't like Mochi. I'm sorry. I just pissed off the internet, didn't I? *screams* That's right, ladies and gentlemen! *SCREAMS* DAMN MARKIPLIER DOESN'T LIKE IT *shot* FUCKING *shot* MOCHI *quietly* sorry Uuuuuh, haribo bears or strawberries. I'll stick with the cheesecake cubes, I wouldn't choose any of these toppings but who cares. Charming prince? "He's got the money, the looks, even perfect teeth. Really, he ticks all the boxes. He just has no personality. But look how perfect he is!" That's silly!

I don't want Prince Charming, who the hell is Prince Charming? Who gives a damn about Prince Charming? What does my Fro-Yo coverage have to do with THIS? Anyway, it's time to move on with our lives I-I-I-I don't want to know *laughs* ahahaha ah ha ha- oh Ohh ok. "Does this sexy body part belong to Luke, Liam or Chris Hemsworth?" Test your Hemsworth experience! Again, brought to you by Peggy Truong *Giggles* Which Hemsworth is this? I see Alec Baldwin Da, that's Alec Baldwin! Who... That's Alec. Baldwin. Look! That's just Alec Baldwin! Look! I'm not making a joke!

That's fucking Alec Baldwin *Laughs* “And this nice beard?” Oh, I don't know. I know, I didn't even know there were three Hemsworths Where's Alec? Can I enter Alec Baldwin? Lamb? No, Lucas. Hey? Chris? OK. Wo-ho-ho-ho! WOW! “Or this beautiful chest?” Hey, huh, Luke? Damn, huh, huh, Chris? Hey, Liam? Hey, Chris? Doop Dap H-Hey. Wait a second! Do not do this! I'm going to guess Chris because he probably has the most photos. How did he do for you? “You're 59 percent right!” "You're not an expert YET. You're not a master yet." "Your knowledge of the brothers isn't perfect yet, but keep working on it!" "You'll soon reach the promised land of abs!" WHAT DOES THAT MEAN NOW?!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! What does that mean? The 'promised land of abs'. That doesn't make any damn sense! Who is Luke Hemsworth? Who is that?? Who is that?? I didn't know there was another one. What the fuck is this?!? I don't know, damn. Well, this is another classic

cosmo

politan quiz: "Will he be good in bed?" Because that's what I want to know more than ANYTHING in the world! "The man you want to meet is exciting, but wondering whether or not he can please you...isn't that exciting." 'Take this quiz and find out if he has the tools *laughs* to make your vagina as happy as your brain.' *Laughs* Oh Lane Moore, you're the funniest Cosmo writer Ohh- Ha ha ha!

Ahh. I guess, I guess all of these questions are related to... how good a man is in bed. "How often does someone ask you how your day was?" Uhhh- ok. So ME, from time to time. But we usually talk about random things. "How does he feel when he touches you in a super relaxed way?" It doesn't happen often, but when it does it's more of a coincidence... But he feels good because he's super handsome *laughs* Reassuring and kind of sexy *laughs* It hasn't really touched me yet. I feel like if he touches me, my body will explode.

Ok, this one? "How is it on the dance floor?" We've never danced before *laughs* But I think he's good at it! Ok, here are my dances. Skills! *Good dance, bravo Mark* Yes! *Keep going!* Go! Let me give it a whirl! *MUSIC LOUD* (10/10) A little cheeky, but he's trying, I guess that's all. "How often does he make fun of you for small, silly things?" *Quietly* Never ever! *Loud voice* I'm super friendly! "When he's upset and you say, 'Okay, stop, stop.' Will he stop too?" Probably not. Yes, but not before he does it one more time. If that is all. "How comfortable are you with him?" UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH This “Is he a confident man?” Yes, he knows how great he is.

That sounds like me "How was the first kiss?" Uhh I don't know *laughs* a little too much ha ha ha, ha ha ha yes; Yes, probably that one. “How often does he make serious eye contact with you?” Oh! Oh, you know.... .....OOOOOHHH Once in a while?? Oh yeah. Sometimes the look lasts too long and I think. "Okay, too much!" "How do you feel when you're with him?" Damn, I don't know how to respond to this. I can't answer this from my perspective! I'm a great person to know- *laughs* It depends on the moment if I feel pretty or not. *more laughter* but at least I feel like a great girl.

How dare this quiz impose a gender on me! These assholes! Let's see, "It's hard to know until you try" *screaming!* WOOOOOW OOOOOH ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!? OOOHHHH WHO COULD HAVE THOUGHT THE ANSWER WAS “FUCK, I KNOW A LOT” “UNTIL YOU TRY IT!” IT BECAME ITS NATURAL OOOOOOH!! HE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN A BIG IDIOT Ok, okay "This guy has a lot of things that speak for themselves" *laughs/crying* "But the question will be if he's going to satisfy your vagina *more laughter* *sobs*. *laughs* This depends on the chemistry *Laughs* "But if the communication is right, you have a good chance of being great in bed." What the fuck is this shit?

What the fuck now that we've had that? And we all feel worse Sure about me Let's do something that might make us feel even WORSE. Especially myself! “What is your real age, based on your social media habits?” by Eva Peyser Ok, I'm going to answer this question honestly and sincerely. better "As I can, I have the latest iPhone, okay. "How often do you post on social media?" Uh, I can post more several times a day. Let's see, "How about LinkedIn?" I've never done it, *scoffing* Is that it? Do old people really sit down these days?! YES, I'm not old!

Heh, if I reach the age of 7 again... *Gently* I'm going to be pretty angry Ok, "What's wrong?" Your favorite social network?" TWITTEEEEEEEER? MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM? “Have you ever not checked social media for a whole day?" Oh my god! NEVER! I would die *laughs* “What emoji? Oh GOD!” *gasps* “Which emoji best describes you?” The thumbs-up emoji Yeah, that sounds good to me “How did you meet your partner? Oooooop, Tinder Uh, “What do you usually wear on Instagram?” *singing* Selfiiiiiiiiiiiiies with my friends. Selfies with myself Yes! Almost, almost exclusively selfies Nothing outside of that "What app can't you live without?" Uuuh, theoretically I can live without all my folder apps *Screaming goat* I have no idea, Instagram is very important to me, that's my choice. "What's the most embarrassing thing I can post on social media?" A naked photo, an ugly selfie, my bank details...

I don't embarrass myself easily. Yeah, I don't embarrass myself easily, none of that would really be a big deal. "You're *laughs* I'm 14!" AH AAHH I'M FOURTEEN, DID YOU HEAR THAT? FOURTEEN YEAR OLD MARKIMOO IS WATCHING OUT THE DOOR HAHA! My age has doubled since the last time I did this, so it's something I'm looking forward to. Anyway, *babble* Those were the Cosmo Quizzes That was a bag full of ass if that was anything I'm going to shoot my computer right now Hey, I'm sorry I did that to you I'm sorry! *laughs* I have to stop this before it spreads.

NO ONE can take these

quizzes

! I'm the only one QUALIFIED to survive this but my computer is infected with IDIOT So I'm going to stop this once and for all. Let me know in the comments if you want to see another one like this. I don't know if I want to do that, but I need another computer before I do it because this one has to go. So thank you all for watching. And as always... See you... *acoustic guitar in the background* In the next video! Bye bye! *Screen freezes at the moment of the shot with Mystery of Jo Jo in continuous screen*