CBT Part 1: How to Spot Your True Core Beliefs

Welcome to this week's Medical Circle Live Event with one of my favorite people, Dr. Judy Ho. For those just meeting Dr. Judy for the first time, you have a lot to catch up on. She is a triple-certified neuropsychologist and forensic scientist, the author of Stop Self. sabotage and if I continue to check her credentials we would take up all our time Dr. Judy, thank you for being here and giving us access to her incredible brain on this very important topic of CBT. Thank you very much, I am very happy to be. here and it's good to see everyone joining Dr.

Judy, let's start by just defining what CBT is and how that cognitive model can help people. Cognitive therapy is an evidence-based form of treatment and there are some really notable things about this model. One is the philosophy of The important thing is that you learn these skills and then you can implement them

your

self, so the CBT therapist's relationship with their patient is about educating them about the CBT model that we are going to get into and then be able to teach them. such that they feel empowered to provide these strategies for themselves when they are distressed.

The cognitive behavioral therapy model is very simple. It's about the fact that our thoughts, feelings and behaviors are all connected, so when we are not feeling well, the theory would state that if you are able to change

your

thought processes or if you are able to change your behaviors, you also In many ways, it is very empowering because when we don't feel good, we often feel helpless, like there isn't much we can do to change that emotion, but CBT It says if you are able to change your actions in the moment or If you change your thought process or frame it differently, you will get that response on the feeling side, which includes not only your emotions but also physiological reactions, such as if you feel that you are panicking or feel like your heart is racing. it beats super fast you can't calm down you're agitated all those frames will help you change that feeling, whether it's an emotion or a great physiological response and as we've discussed in the medical circle in the past, CBT can be used to uncover some of our

core

beliefs

and these are things we hold to be

true

about ourselves, regardless of whether they are actually

true

.

You and I sat down a while ago and did a mock CBT therapy session and I actually watched it again last night to prepare for today's discussion. and the ladder concept was absolutely phenomenal and I can't wait to get into that, but before I do, can you talk about what

core

beliefs

are and how they impact us? So core beliefs are a really important

part

of the CBT model and what the state of core beliefs is that this is kind of a basic belief that you have about yourself and other people in the world that we live in, so they are things we call absolute truths deep down in all our superficial thoughts and the fact that we believe them.

As absolute truths it doesn't actually mean that we have gotten evidence in our environment of it, it just means that they are those deeply held beliefs that after a while, whether you check them or not, seem real to you, so they are essentially core beliefs. . It determines how you perceive and interpret the world, so if you imagine an iceberg, the tip of the iceberg is above the water and that's what people see on the surface, and those could be your conscious thoughts that you choose to talk to others about. people and maybe even the things that you recognize yourself when you are thinking about what is on my mind today, but the core beliefs would be the bottom of that iceberg, they are very deep-rooted, they almost never come to the surface, but they are like an iceberg bottomless.

The iceberg is the base, it's the base, it keeps the iceberg floating and so it's basically that kind of analogy that determines how you perceive and interpret the world, even if you're not aware of it every moment of the day. Excellent, well, dr. Judy, I know you've prepared some slides for today's event. Would you like to discuss them now or would you like us to have a discussion? Before we do that, let's go ahead and start with some of the slides now because I think that's going to help our illustration, so I'm going to go ahead and share my screen and show you this CBT model that we've been discussing and how core beliefs fit into all of that. , so let me know if you can see this.

I'm going to try to get into presentation mode so you can see the slide. If you don't see it in presentation mode, let me know, kyle um, and then I'll try to adjust it. I can see her. I think we are. Okay, perfect, so this is the CBT model, as I mentioned, thoughts, behaviors and feelings are all related to each other and by looking at this model you can see that thoughts can affect feelings, but feelings can also affect the thoughts, that's why you have these bi. directional patterns and two-way arrows, but within all of that, if you think about thoughts, behaviors and feelings as things that people perceive more on the surface, the core belief is underneath it all, it's more deeply rooted almost somehow as

part

of Your personality structure and core beliefs consist of these fixed ideas about yourself, about other people and how they might perceive you, and about your own future and whether or not you feel hopeful about your future, so those are the three basic types of core beliefs and the way they The way core beliefs operate is that they tend to permeate all areas of life, so your core beliefs will come into play whether you are dating or experiencing a romantic relationship or whether you're at work or how you deal with your friends, how you achieve your goals, how you cultivate habits in basically any area of ​​your life, core beliefs can definitely come into play in terms of what you believe about yourself, what you're capable of. to achieve and how other people might treat you.

I'm so fascinated by this. because I've seen the CBT model before but never with core beliefs as the core foundation and I think that's an element that's missing when people start learning about CBT, they focus on the tip of the iceberg because that's what we're seeing, but actually, all of that comes from exactly that deeper place, so I think we can also think in a different way if we want to take this analogy a little further in terms of how the CBT model operates, and although in this model Starting with the core beliefs written at the top, you can see that each one feeds the next level, so the core beliefs we've talked about are these core ideas that you have about yourself, other people, and how they treat you, the world around you and your future that leads to certain assumptions, so assumptions are also what we call conditional rules that you create based on core beliefs, so let me give you an example, let's say a core belief that you have is that I'm not worthy, you know, you basically feel that you're not worthy of good things happening, you're not worthy of positive attention, you're not worthy of achieving your goals, whatever they may be, and if deep down you feel that way, what Are some of the conditional rules you would use to operate well in life if I were someone?

If someone felt that I wasn't worthy of something, then maybe what they would do, for example, is overcompensate, so maybe one of my assumptions is that if I do the best I can to serve people, then they won't find out that I'm not worthy of something. Am I worthy or not? I'll think I'm worthy, so that would be like a possible rule or assumption based on that core belief. Let's say you have another core belief. Let's use a different one. Sometimes people have a core belief that they are incapable and that you really know. aren't as effective in life, whether it's in their career or anything else, or they just feel like they can't take care of themselves, so maybe a conditional rule or assumption for that would be, you know, do the best you can.

You can to act as independent as possible so that no one realizes that you are actually incapable, for example, never tell anyone when you have made a mistake, you know it, just always try to operate as if you don't need anyone else. , so these are just examples, but If, as you can see, we follow that idea, if we have a certain assumption, this will lead to certain coping strategies or compensatory mechanisms. For example, if you have this core belief that you're incapable and let's say you get some constructive criticism. the project you did, they didn't insult you, they just said, hey, there's one area you need to improve on in the compensatory coping strategy, it could be actually confronting them and saying no, I did everything right, so it's not me, it's someone else's. .

Guilt is almost like not taking responsibility properly, so you can see that core beliefs can affect the rules that you set in life and then the way you respond to situations and then we're starting to move towards the more superficial area. of the things that happen to us every day, so when a situation occurs it leads to certain automatic thoughts that can also come in the form of images because they are very brief and quick and then lead to reactions on the front of feelings and behavior , so let's go ahead and use that core belief example again that you're incapable, that you just feel ineffective in life, we talked about the possible assumptions that you never want anyone to find out, so maybe when bad things happen , when a mistake is pointed out to you, almost like you don't want to talk about it or you deflect and say it might be someone else's fault, but it's certainly not your fault, so let's say the situation is that you then get fired from the job if that If it happens to someone with this kind of core belief, their first automatic thought might be, "Oh my God, I can't do anything right," you know, even though the layoff isn't their fault, you know the company might just be downsizing. , by the first thought you have, do I like it?

I just can't, you know, I just can't do anything right, no matter how hard it is. Can I ask a clarifying question about the situation? Is it a consequence of maladaptive coping strategies or is the situation any situation and that's what your core is? belief is going to affect situations, it's a very good question, so yes, the situation doesn't always happen because of your coping strategies. Okay, sometimes that arrow doesn't exist and the situation just happens to you, but other times it can be related, so if I took that example I talked about, let's say you respond to your boss and say no, no.

I agree, I didn't make this mistake and your boss says okay, I guess you're not ready for a promotion. That could be the situation caused by that compensatory strategy, but that's a clarifying question, so if you're at the automatic thinking level of "I can't do anything right," imagine how you would feel and behave if that's how you do it. . I really thought about it, so if you think I can't do anything right, what are some of the possible feelings you might feel dejected, hopeless, angry, sad, um and some behaviors could be that you're trying to hide the fact that you got fired from your family for a few days?

They're like I don't even want to tell them because then I'll have to face my fundamental belief that I'm incapable. I don't want to explain myself so when you want to hide it from them, maybe go more inward and isolate yourself more because you don't want to call your friends and family and they'll ask you what's new and you'll have to say I just got fired today and actually , you might be able to do it. As a result, you become more isolated and you can see how everything impacts each other, because the more isolated you become, the less able you are to have opportunities to basically refute your fundamental belief, because if you told your family your family would say well, no. worry, that's obviously not your fault, you will find another job, everything will be fine, but if you don't get that positive support then you will be left with your own thoughts about how incapable, you are actually strengthening the core belief and so you can see how the beliefs again can permeate all the different levels of your actions, your feelings and your thoughts.

This is wonderful. I want to get some feedback from our live audience and if you're watching this on replay, please also leave your comments below, if this is your first time hearing about CBT, what is your initial reaction to seeing the relationship between the fundamental beliefs and how it permeates the different scenarios of our lives? a CBT if you are familiar with CBT like I thought I was familiar with CBT. I have never heard this, although this is completely new to me. This is like the layer behind CBT. So I'm very happy that you are. Doing this Dr.

Judy, thank you of course, so I think you know if we're ready to move on, we're going to talk a little bit about how to identify yourcore beliefs, because Kyle, we all have them, you know, no matter how developed we think. We all have core beliefs and a common question I get from people is whether all core beliefs are negative, and of course they are not. Sometimes we have positive core beliefs and the reason we focus on the ones that are more negative is because the positive ones are not the ones that cause us distress, you know, those are not the ones we need to solve problems, because those are our strengths, so for CBT we are trying to identify what the problem is. and we're going to figure it out and then we're going to talk more about negative core beliefs, so the idea of ​​the ladder technique and maybe Kyle, you and I can go over an example of this and we can role play is that you start with a thought.

Automatic, which is what is most conscious, just what you know that you have these thoughts and thought processes throughout the day, is that tip of the iceberg that everyone can see above the water that you start with. an automatic thought you had in response to a stressful situation and then we will proceed with each thought, for example, what would this thought mean if it were true? Then you will have a new thought and then we will ask the same thing. Ask about that new thought, what if this thought is true? What will it mean? This way we get to the bottom of the belief system and at that point you will reach the core belief.

When we do the demonstration, this will create a It makes a lot more sense, but basically the general description of the ladder technique is to identify a conscious automatic thought that you had in a stressful situation and after each thought you ask yourself: What if that thought is true? ? What will it mean? Then you take that second thought. and you ask the same questions. I've also provided some alternative questions here that you can ask yourself if the first one doesn't encourage you enough. You can ask questions like: What does this thought tell me or tell me about how I see the world? friends and family, what is the worst thing actions can say, why is this so bad, and what thoughts do I have about myself that would make this thought so terrible if it were true, so any constellation of these questions should make You might like to come to another thought and then eventually, after five or six iterations, you'll come to a core belief that feels more fundamental and basic and permeates your entire life, so Kyle, if you're up for it, do you want to do it? a role play? where maybe you can play a patient who comes in with a stressful situation that they're absolutely dealing with, I'll bring it back to you to ask you what would be a common core belief that we should work on or If I shouldn't keep that in mind, I have to keep that in mind. in mind.

We can start with any stressful situation that we can use as a role play, whether it's relationships, health, or career, and then we'll go from there. just work your way down and then at the end we can talk about some common core beliefs that people hold well so I think the biggest response I get from members is, uh, their relationships and they feel like they're doomed to be in a relationship. unhappy whether it's with this person or someone else they just can't find a relationship that works for them okay that's great so let's go ahead and start with that so let's focus on a specific situation so Kyle , if you were playing the role of This patient tells me about a relationship problem you may be facing.

My relationship problem is that I don't think my partner really loves me and I don't think we will ever be happy, but we are married and we are in this agreement and I feel stuck and I don't see a way out. Okay so the situation is I don't think that if my partner really loves me he will never be happy and we are married and I feel stuck and I can't see the way out so I think you know this is a good situation and it is very Timely because I feel like a lot of people are saying that they're having problems in their relationships right now, even you know. the pandemic continues because it's causing you to basically look at your relationship under a microscope and people are thinking a lot more about these types of issues, so if that's the situation and maybe there are certain things that happened, for example, that led you to know it.

This particular thing is at the top of your mind as you play this patient. It could be that, for example, you know you talked to your partner this morning and they just seem to look down on you, it's like they're not really paying. I pay attention to you and you say: Do you care about me? Do you love me? So what would be like a conscious thought you could have in response to that response? So again imagine that the problem here was that your partner fired you the way you did. Trying to have a good time with them and they say I'm too busy, I don't have time and they just acted like they weren't listening, like you didn't matter, so what an automatic thought you could have had.

In response to that, well, the two that come to mind are: uh, this person is angry with me or I, I'm not worthy of that person, you got that right, so let's start with this person is angry with me because that's a very quick and primary thought and I'm going to ask you that question, you know, as we talked, go back one slide, you know, after every automatic thought, you ask yourself one of these questions, so what if this thought were true ? What would that mean if your partner was mad at you? like what would that mean to you, oh my gosh, well it would mean that I had unknowingly done something that upset him, okay, so that's the second automatic thought again, we're kind of going through the ladder thing to produce based thoughts ​in these. questions we're asking then, what would be so bad if you did something to upset him?

What thought do you have about yourself that would make this particular idea so terrible? I am not aware of my actions. I am not self-aware. I got it and what would that mean to you if you weren't self-aware? What would be wrong with that if you weren't self-aware? uh that's what I am, I'm floating through life, I'm not conscious, I have that and what would that mean to you if you were just floating through life like you're not really sure what's happening when, what would that mean to your life? and how do you feel about yourself and your ability to achieve positive results?

I am a failure I am failing and failures fail so I am a failure I got it all right, so we have come to a very common core belief which is that I am a failure and the way we can check if something is really a core. The belief is that we can ask ourselves that question again, you know, again, go back to one of these questions. What if this thought is true? What will it mean? What does this thought tell me about myself? And realizing that there's basically nothing underneath that maybe. you're going to say different permutations of the same thing, which would mean you come in with a core belief.

Another way to evaluate whether or not it is a core belief. Core beliefs are a very abbreviated and very universal meaning. It's just kind of like a very flippant short statement that's not situational, so if you look at these thoughts here, automatic thought: the partner is mad at me, well, if a partner is mad at you, that's situational for your partner, right? TRUE? I must have done something to upset him. Him, that's pretty situational too. I am not aware of my actions. That feels more general, but it's not a core belief because what's the consequence of that?

We haven't gotten to the consequences properly, so once we get to automatic thinking. and you are saying that I am a failure, it seems like this is something, a statement that could apply to you in situations like if you make a mistake at work, I am a failure, you fight with your partner, I can't. Even I can't be successful in my relationship. You know, your son gets angry with you. I'm a terrible father. I'm a failure. You can see how something like this can apply everywhere and is not situational. Furthermore, it is written in such a way. so it's like three or four words, almost every core belief is like that, it's like it's not long, it's like it's a failure, I'm not lovable, I'm not worthy and you can see how all those things in They can actually play an important role. another core belief that I was having while you were going through these automatic thoughts, Kyle in this role play is another possible core belief is that I'm not in control, you know this idea of ​​not being in control just because like you had it talking about three and automatic four, you're talking about how you're floating through life, maybe you just don't know whether or not you can achieve positive results, for example, and I was thinking about the situation where you're married, but you feel stuffy, you don't see a output, that also triggers feelings of not being in control, so people obviously have more than one core belief, sometimes you know, so it might be possible that you, like you're playing this role.

Being patient with failure is a core belief and I feel out of control as a second one that might be possible, but the way we would test the core belief is, as I mentioned, to actually check to see if there is anything underneath that could be evoked if you make those lists. of questions we've been looking at and you're also wondering: Could this idea permeate multiple areas of my life, whether I'm talking about friendships, family, romantic relationships, career or even starting a healthy habit? If this person, this patient that you're playing with right now, Kyle, starts a new healthy regimen and then within a week he makes a mistake and they like you know whatever, he skipped a workout that, by the way, the whole world does, no matter how successful you are.

However, this is the kind of person who would immediately say that I'm a failure and maybe give up and not even try for a long time, so you can see how this is the kind of idea someone might have if they're not able to. believe in themselves and truly believe that they are a failure. Here's just another example of a ladder. Just so you can see a slightly different example. And by the way, I hadn't seen these slides before today. it was a coincidence yeah that's crazy I mean this is really good I had no idea you would come up with this too literally and I know Hal didn't see these slides they literally wrote them like two hours ago um, so this is another example of ladder, okay, imagine, you know you're cooking and it's like a terrible soup, it's not like that, it doesn't taste good, whatever happens to all of us, I love to cook and there are still moments the ones I think about Wow, this is a real lemon, so it's not a good dish, but the person says, oh, the soup is horrible and then asks well, sells the question if that were true, what would that mean?

Well, I'm a terrible cook, okay? And if that were the case, what would that mean? Oh my gosh, I guess I'm a bad mother/wife. Fill in the blank. Okay, and if so, what would that mean? Well, I just failed at everything and, again, that's a bad belief and therefore just another one. For example, how can we distinguish between something that is more situational, automatic thinking, soup is horrible, it's just about the suit, but look, if you ask this question and follow this ladder technique, how quickly do you discover that there is something that It is more generalized. underneath operate um basically to produce this I thought it comes up on the surface of the water and I want to go back to the example of me of me like in a marriage where I'm not happy because when He said something else that seemed like a fundamental belief to you, since I don't I'm in control and even though this was a therapy session and I'm not married or anything, I'm still responding. like me in this scenario and it's interesting that you mentioned control because control is something that I have been brought up before in relationships, even by my coworkers, my need to feel like I have control of the scenario and the reason I mention this. for our audience it's because I've been to a lot of therapy.

Well, I started when I was nine years old and when I'm working with a new therapist or a new psychologist or even my psychiatrist, who also does therapy, and they kind of tune in. on me like Dr. Judy did at that time, it makes me feel good, they're really seeing it, it's really someone who knows what they're doing, they're really good and I think sometimes people in therapy experience that and then they run away because They say oh they discovered me how did they know that I have control problems but that's why we are there it's like pretending that we are a car and they are mechanics their job is to help us they discover the truth and they can only work based on the information we give them, so yes You're new to therapy or just starting out with a therapist and you're coming across that where are they going next, has anyone told you this or blah? and it's true that's a good sign, I think take a deep breath, lean into that because you're about to strike gold and the fact that Dr.

Judy said no, I'm going to watch and go back and watch my reaction becauseIt was like you were onto something because that's a conversation I've had before, even in this simulated hypothetical scenario. I love that you're talking about this because it's so much fun even when we like role-playing patients. Obviously, we are basing this on something. our own experiences you still know exactly and that and I'm glad you said that because you know I also want to say that with love I call the people in my life type individuals because I think I'm an individual type like some of the people I love the most They're not type A.

I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. There are many positive threes associated with these two, but what is one of the problems of a type of individual who is extra motivated? I know they are ambitious and when they feel like they have no control, they don't like it, it's a difficult thing for them, but you and I have talked a lot about this and you know self-development if you do it. Doing well is not supposed to be a picnic because you're going to feel some things that you know, that's why it's so funny when sometimes I look at personal development stuff where I look at my self-help books and people say: I feel fabulous, it's like You might feel fabulous a little bit later, but there are certain points in that where you can't feel fabulous all the time, and if you do, then you're not doing the job and it's not my point to criticize anyone who may have done that. type of work and it's like every day that I read this book it makes me feel very happy with myself, that's still a form of self-development, but that's much more like that, it's much more like um. mantras or like you know positive thinking versus like you really dig deep to find out the root of some of your problems.

Yes, I tell people that there is a difference between motivation and self-improvement and that both have a place and maybe the day before a big presentation you just need the motivation, but the week before the motivation or your presentation maybe Maybe it's when you need self-improvement or personal development, so making sure you know what you're doing is really key, but I also want to take advantage of this. It's time to promote Dr. Judy's book. Stop self-sabotage. I actually bought it from someone on Amazon and it was on sale, so hey, because it's a. She was talking to a friend and she said, Look, I know I'm 30 years old.

Man, I've been sabotaging my life and I said, "Okay, stop right there." Do you want help with this or do you just want to talk about it? They said no, I would like help. I'm going great. You have to go read Dr. Judy's book. so I sent it to him. There are six steps to unlock your true motivation. Take advantage of your willpower and get out of your own way. It's something we all do on some level. If you go to Dr. Judy's medical circle page, you can see a link to her book there. and also her podcast, which is just the perfect combination of motivation and self-improvement.

You'll feel good after listening to it, but you'll also walk away with some things you want to work on, so dr. Judy. Not only does she understand this, she practices it well and that is the key, those are the type of people I want to learn and listen to. Okay, Dr. Judy, let's get back to her amazing presentation, so thank you very much Kyle for mentioning. the book is based on therapy and we also talk about core beliefs in the book and kyle is actually going to be a guest on my podcast yeah so definitely keep an eye out for that we'll definitely make sure that the network circle uh the viewers They know when that episode is coming out, but it will be sometime in the next two weeks.

I am very excited to interview Kyle for a chance. I know I'm also very excited. A very fun role reversal, um, but you know. just so we can talk a little bit about solutions, you know, as we're getting ready for the second half of our hour here and you know tomorrow we'll have even more time to really dig into some of these tools and tips and also your questions. I want to leave you with a couple of ideas about how to challenge core beliefs and how we challenge core beliefs. My favorite way is to implement a behavioral experiment.

The problem with core beliefs, as we've been covering, is that it's something that seems to permeate a lot of your life, especially when you're stressed and faced with stressful situations, because that's when your beliefs are tested and you know if everything is going well. Well, these negative qualities don't even come up, as you know, think about if you had a fundamental belief that you were a failure, well, if you're just killing it at work and your relationship is going perfectly, that won't come to the surface at all like is. We'll just sit back and do nothing, but the moment you have that fight with your partner or the moment you get passed up for a promotion like that is when these negative core beliefs arise, so the behavioral experiment It's very important because what we're trying to do is basically shake that foundation, so if you think about this iceberg analogy that we've been using all this time, when you buy into a core belief, it's really strong, the foundation is super solid. and, as humans, this is The thing about our brains is that we look for confirmatory evidence unless we try to do otherwise.

Our brains are cognitive misers, they are a bit lazy by default and will simply look for things in the environment and explain them accordingly. with your existing schema, so you won't need new information, for example, let's say someone says I love you no matter what, even if you make mistakes, you will accept it if you have a core belief, if I am a failure and instead of just taking and say wow, that's new information like, can I really get lucky tonight? Even if you make mistakes, maybe you're not a failure after all. Instead, if you have that very strong core belief that I'm a failure, you're going to go. take that thought that someone tells you and you're going to say yes, but you haven't really seen how many mistakes I can actually make, like you argue against it in a way that actually confirms the relief of the report like you're doing.

I'm just saying that because you haven't really seen me at my worst, you know, blah, blah, blah, and so the whole idea about behavioral experiments is basically undermining that foundation and starting to really consciously look for concrete evidence in your environment and in all your loved ones. interactions that would dispel the core belief and then just allow yourself to say "it's okay", there are at least some situations where my core belief doesn't apply, so that your core belief, instead of being pervasive, becomes more conditional, such as "okay," that's the first step, like "okay, well." My core belief does not apply to my husband.

My core belief does not apply to my mother. My core belief doesn't really apply to my work. Being able to start narrowing it down so that you can start to see it as more conditional instead of opposite. Absolute is really the first step, which is why behavioral experiments are kind of fun. I think they're fun because I'm a researcher. I like getting data and you know, when all else fails, data is what will help me understand. the situation a little better, so the idea is to think of a situation that might trigger your core belief and then, as you consider that situation, think of a way that you can behave or act that will give you some data that will help you.

Please provide any indication of whether this core belief is true in one way or another, at least with that person or that situation? Yeah, I'll give you an example and then Kyle, I'd love for you to come up with one as a patient in this example, an example, if someone has a core belief like "I'm a failure" is making a mistake on purpose with someone right and you start with something that is relatively low at stake, so maybe you make a mistake that doesn't have much of an impact on an outcome and it's like a distant friend, it's not with someone you really like, but you care a little, so basically that's it.

You know, ideate this experiment like okay, I'm going to make a phone appointment. with one of my friends I'm not that close to her and then I'm going to call her on purpose, like 25 minutes late, and then you do it, you like to commit to it, but you also have to predict what's going to happen before you do. do it so you can predict how you might feel or how you might think or how you might behave so that you're okay, probably if I actually did this I would apologize up and down like, oh my god, I'm so-so.

I'm sorry, I apologize, I'm trying to overcompensate, be really nice to her, like you know, basically fall into yourself and ingratiate yourself because you're obviously thinking I don't want her to think I'm just a total effort, you know, but You go into the situation, you make this mistake on purpose and then you basically see what happens, so you call your friend and after making this prediction of how you might think or feel, you call him and say, I'm so sorry. He's 25 minutes late and you make a pact with yourself not to explain too much, but obviously you apologize and you're nice about it and then you watch his reaction to you and most likely, if he was actually a friend of yours, he won't screw it up.

They come up to you and tell you that you're a horrible human being, they'll say okay, we happen to have a few minutes left, you want to just chat now or you want to reschedule, I mean that's the most common. What most people would say and then you basically go back and think, well this is what I thought was going to happen and this is what actually happened so now what does that mean to me now that I see how this works really? the real world, so it's almost like coming back to these questions once the situation has occurred and basically asking now that I've gotten concrete evidence about what this really means about this core belief, and at least I think a possible idea.

The one you might come up with is, "Well, certainly this person doesn't seem to think I'm a total failure, even if it's conditional, like, well, I have proof from one person, one person doesn't think I'm a total failure and forgives me." easy and that's okay, that's how we start to shake the foundation, so maybe you want to do another experiment that may have to do with work or another experiment that eventually has to do with people who are closer to you and who mean more for you, but it's really about building these layers and the most important thing is that you predict what you think will happen beforehand because that will allow you to get to your core beliefs and what those conditional rules are and then you observe what actually happens and then You try to make sense of it.

I understand how these core beliefs relate to cognitive distortions because when you mentioned, oh my gosh, if I was 25 minutes late for a call, I would apologize and you would apologize because I'm assuming this situation will be catastrophic sooner. It even happens, so I guess I'm saying this out loud now. Cognitive distortions are our core beliefs, so cognitive distortions generally relate to automatic thoughts, uh, CBT model level, so this is the part that is visible, um, above the water, but we. I don't know them as climate distortion until we really think about it yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, but mostly we have patterns in our thinking, like if you're a catastrophist like you said, oh my God, this person will never forgive me and I won't anymore. whether you're my friend or whatever or um very black and white thinking um automatic thoughts is how we usually talk about um cognitive distortions and that your automatic thoughts will fall into these scenes and some common types of distortions are things like catastrophizing ignoring or dismissing the positive I should, which are a lot of rules like I should have done more yesterday I should have been kinder I should have I should have I should I should have also there are black and white thoughts, which means everything is right or everything is wrong there is nothing in between, it's very difficult to sit with that gray, another common gear of distortion is mind reading, where you think you know what other people think of you before you check it.

I do that which is a good yes. That's a very common distortion and then another type of distortion is personalization, where you compare yourself to everything and usually come up short and from your question, Kyle's core beliefs can also be cognitive distortions, I mean, most Of them, do you know that they are like that? Although we talk about disorders more at the level of automatic thinking, technically each core belief is a type of distortion because it is very absolute, so it is very black and white. I mean, I really think it's the most common type of distortion when we talk about center distortion. my beliefs are that it's black and white thinking it's like I'm a failure, period, you know, it's not like I'm a failure at crochet, I mean that would be fine, I don't think it's a central relief, that's right. just that's just it's like I don't know how to approach it properly, but if you say I'm a failure, it's a black and white thinking pattern where it's like there's nothing in between, you can't just have failed today or failed that. . this relationship but you will do better in the next one, you know, andI think that's what we're trying to combat and that's why behavioral experiments are so important because you're basically getting rid of this idea of ​​something that is uh absolute that's black and white you're starting to create these conditional experiences in the Which is okay, I still think I'm a failure, but I have to say that after this experiment I guess I'm not really a failure to this particular friend.

Yeah, I mean, and do these experiments the more you loosen that kind of thinking. Yes, we will be back with Dr. Judy tomorrow and she will be able to answer more questions. Tomorrow's live event is for the medical circle. all access members only if you are not a member of the medical circle, you can always start with a free trial if you are a student, teacher, military, professional or healthcare worker, email me, we have discounts. for you guys too on monthly memberships and I'll be happy to give you a code so email me Kyle at medcircle.com.

We'll also put it in the descriptions below this video. I want to ask this question. because it's great and question I'm 52 years old. Is it really possible to retrain my thinking at this age? How long would you do this before you knew if it was going to work? You can retrain your thinking at any age and I will do it. To say that I recently worked with a patient who was 65 years old and had gone through extreme chronic trauma for at least 18 years of his life and was able to retrain his way of thinking, so please don't lose hope, it is always possible .

The work is difficult sometimes because you have to find some difficult feelings, experiences and beliefs about yourself, but the idea of ​​CBT is that it makes you stronger, you feel like I can do something about it today and even if you continue to have those thoughts from time to time from time to time, the difference is that once you have been exposed to CBT you have a plan. You know, okay, I have this thought again, but it's not a big deal, I'll just apply these skills, that's what I really love about CBT because it's very active and it makes you feel good even if the thoughts come up, even if the thoughts come up.

I depress Again I know what to do now I have a plan and that's what I want to tell Aes and um you know don't give up and keep trying and you can really change your thoughts at any age. Dr. Judy has done it too. a whole series in our medical circle video library on cognitive behavioral therapy and also has another series on trauma-focused CBT, so while today we're talking about the general formulas and outlines of CBT, they can be applied to specific scenarios and honestly, Dr. Judy says so. our resident therapy, uh, doctor at Med Circle, she has series on somatic experiences, acceptance and commitment therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, I mean, she has all of that, so if you were interested in this, motivated by this, enlightened by this , I really encourage you to watch Dr.

Judy. other medical circle series about different types of treatments because some are true, Dr. Judy, that some people do CBT and act or start with one therapy and then move on to another therapy absolutely. I think you know that most therapists would call themselves mixed modality therapists. and that they bring everything that is useful to the patient and sometimes that happens all at the same time when you are doing act and dbt, you know, because they are a little more closely related, in terms of theory, cbt act and dbt are all from the same family of treatments and those are my specialties, or they go through them in sequence, you know, you start the first few sessions of CBT and then you move into action, so I think all of those things are possible and it's really about finding your individual tool kit.

I mean, that's what I'm really excited to talk about and thank you, Kyle, for talking about it. You know my experience with interventions, because that's what really motivates me, is to teach people as many skills as possible so that eventually they don't need me, yes, I would like people to not need me at all, yes, and I do. What I discovered with our finding with our members is that they come to the medical circle and get a membership because they want to see our series on depression or anxiety or OCD or ADHD, okay, they watch all of those and then they come to me and say, well , Kyle, I saw them all, now what I said, you have to see the treatment, I mean, those for me are the most, um, for me.

We are the most useful series we have to learn how these things work in real applications to watch simulated sessions and really see how it works. I mean imagine being a parent and sending your child to CBT therapy, but do you even know what's going on? In there, wouldn't you like to see him face to face? Wouldn't you like to pop in and ask Dr. Judy a question so that you, as a parent, are informed about your child's therapy? We have a few more minutes. and I want to make an announcement, but before I do, Dr.

Judy, your presentation is phenomenal, there is more. Yeah, she knows, I think tomorrow we'll be able to talk more about specific CBT tools, so I'm really excited to talk. about that because today we gave you this introduction on core beliefs, but there are many other ways to challenge core beliefs and behavioral experiments are my absolute favorite, but tomorrow we'll talk a little more in detail about visualization as an alternative way. or even simultaneously, you can do it at the same time that you're experiencing behavioral experiences and also creating a new narrative, you know, constructing a new story for yourself, which I think is also very, very powerful and narrative therapy has gained a lot of acceptance lately. .

There's a lot more data that it works and I think it's a beautiful conjunction technique to work in conjunction with CVT techniques, but I know there were a couple of people who had questions about how to do a visualization properly or what it is. the best way to do a visualization and we'll get to those details tomorrow. I think you know that visualization is such a powerful tool. I can't wait to talk more about it tomorrow as part of the CBT toolkit because visualization is like mental rehearsal and this research has shown that when you visualize something and visualize an outcome it's almost the same as if you were actually doing the activity, practice to get to that result and I will only name one quick study, but there are many others. where athletes when they can't train in the water, for example, think of a sprint swimmer, they can't always train in the water, it's just not practical, they can only access the pool during certain days of the week. and certain hours, so a lot of your training is actually mental, it's about imagining yourself swimming, you know, doing breaststroke, like whatever, like getting to the finish line, you know, passing the baton to your partner. team, you're visualizing it in as much detail as possible and what they've shown is that there have been studies where they'll have one team practice 20 times and then they'll have another team mentally rehearse 20 times and the result in terms of what they actually are. able to achieve is the Wow, that's the power behind visualization, it really creates changes in your brain and it creates these bridges and these connections between your neurotransmitters and also when you finally get to that situation for that team that was just mentally rehearsing as if were your muscles. participating as if they already remember exactly what they are doing in actual practice.

I was a swimmer and they made us visualize all the time. Before big meetings, we would all lie down and visualize these races and use um. I even still use this today, they go when you inhale. I want you to visualize breathing pure oxygen, beautiful and clean, and I think they even use colors like breathing in the color blue and that just fuels you and keeps you energized and when you breathe out. You're releasing all your agony and your pain and your stress and you're getting it out of your body and imagine the thought of that for 40 minutes at the end, I mean, you're not even breathing out anything bad.

Already your body is just filled with this good, high oxygenation and you feel it like you even have goosebumps right now, you really feel it in the truest sense of the word and I know we are reaching the end here. but Dr. Judy years ago someone I don't know who it was, maybe it was Oprah, maybe I read it, I don't remember, but somewhere they told me that at the end of the day, when you're lying in bed and you're thinking about your day, if there were parts of your day, maybe a meeting or an interaction with someone you didn't like, what it was like while you fell asleep, repeat that part of your day, but in the scenario you want.

It happened, so if you had a fight with your child, you repeat it and it was actually a good outcome, is it taking us away from the truth or is it a healthy visualization technique? I think it can be a useful visualization technique because it's really about you know being able to reconstruct something that will actually lead you towards a positive outcome and I think that in some ways relates to creating a new narrative, writing a different story, it's like this idea of ​​doing the repetition in such a way that we're highlighting the things that are more helpful than harmful so that you can see the value of that particular technique and there really are many techniques and for some people it will work better than another type of technique and I think we should be open to everyone. of the different ways that, you know, those types of visualizations can add value to our lives, so you know visualization has very little risk, so it's like one of those techniques that you can definitely practice and do in different ways, and you know, just nice. to check it out and see what works for you, you know, we know what works in the research, but what really matters ultimately is that at the end of the day, it's you, it's what works for you and that's why we encourage Everyone who knows, tell me what I'm talking about. this all the time it's like just trying it like just trying it you know what you have to lose yeah excellent good and a very unofficial but recent survey of the members of our medical circle and the people who are in our free newsletter that you can subscribe to to in medcircle.com uh you all didn't know we have an app and it's 45 days old today.

We have done a very bad job of informing you that we have a medical circle application, it is a great tool and a lot. better viewing experience if you are watching it on your phone or tablet, you can register in the app for a free trial, if you are already a member, you can log in with your same credentials and access the videos that way, you can adjust them, you can download them videos that you can save to your library keeps your viewing history uh it's feature rich it's wonderful it's one of my favorite things that we publish and it's gotten great reviews uh so if you haven't downloaded the app it's available for android and ios uh let me know if you have any questions kyle medcircle.com dr judy we will be back tomorrow I encourage you to register if you haven't already for tomorrow's event as it is for med med circle all access members only we will focus more on how challenge these core beliefs and Dr.

Judy will answer your questions live and that replay will be available to all of our members with access in the medical circle video library. Dr. Judy is always a pleasure to see, thank you for being here. and we'll see you tomorrow, we'll see you tomorrow and thanks for joining us everyone, bye, remember whatever you're going through, you've got this.