Can We Redeem The Internet’s Worst Food Crime?

uh you know it's a bad sign on a cooking show when someone tries something and then runs off looking for something to add to it to make it better, give me a second, hey, do we need these graham crackers right when Victorian England became a hotbed? For mustachioed serial killers, the Internet has become a hotbed for a different type of

crime

, cryptocurrency-based electronic fraud, sorry, I meant

food

crime

, that's right, the Internet has welcomed an abominable set of creations and today we We will focus on one of the most abominable. dirtiest peanut butter cup, yes it's a peanut butter cup, it's a peanut butter cup, except the beans, that's why it's called a peanut butter cup, beans, it's got beans in it, you get it, y'all They understand the play on words.

It's like a little play on words, yes, that's right, this

food

crime. I don't think the vulgar chef from Tick Tock invented it, but Kyle highlights the many atrocities you've committed in the food world over the years. No one knows who actually invented this, but the video of it blew up on Tick Tock and I actually find this kind of delightful, but the rest of the world seemed to think it was absolutely horrible. Do I have to eat it? No, you can eat it. Well, again, cut them in half. These are baked. These are baked beans.

Bush's best. a little disconcerting it's mainly like the onion in the barbecue spice that gets you with the chocolate. This is actually a lot worse than I thought it would be oh that's bad. I'm trying to keep a straight face here, but it's deeply unpleasant. I'm going to have another bite, it's like you know when you make a plate and all the food falls into one like you're too drunk on Thanksgiving and then you're left eating sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce and gravy. and some cake, stuff it in there, oh my goodness, Nicole, every digit, nickel, every plate, there's so much onion, every plate deserves a second chance at life.

You and I are the culinary people who can try to resurrect this from the dead from the bowels of the Internet. Pull it out like you would a 20 foot tapeworm. I should have gone to school. What am I doing? I should have gone to medical school. I look good with gloves, okay? So, the first thing we are going to do is think about what we have done. Now, the peanut butter cup is absolutely atrocious and disgusting, one of the

worst

things I've ever had here and I've had a bull penis before, but I think the great unifier between the beans and the chocolate is the pork, but other than that, I'm going to start making a dressing now, this will be a cocoa and brown sugar dressing for our wonderful pork ribs.

I'm not going to add too much, so this is brown sugar, salt, a little bit of cocoa powder, this is chili powder mustard and a little bit of black. pepper, I also have some bacon here, more pork, more flavor, more delicious, the strategy of attacking people with pork is a valid culinary move, although I will tell you. I also learned a side note that the secret to winning these eating contests will be enough. bold, bold flavors plus bold, bold flavors slow-cooked meat I'm looking forward to learning the secret to winning first you have to win it smells like Charlie's Chocolate Factory oh no, it's not even Charlie's Chocolate Factory, actually It's Wonka's Chocolate Factory, right?

Charlie ends up inheriting that's how the movie goes, I don't know, at one point it becomes Charlie's chocolate factory, however the Oompa Loompas unionized and then it becomes a collectivist chocolate factory jointly owned by the employees to allow that to hang out here abroad, first step. ready now with our baked beans I can't not eat baked beans okay so our bacon is baking nice we're going to cook up some onions we're going to infuse that beautiful bacon flavor with some onion add a pinch of salt and let that cook, I actually didn't know how to make baked beans for a long time.

The first time I learned how to make baked beans was here at Mythical Kitchen. I literally thought they just liked being canned food and they just are what they are, but they're not, you like, you have to like making them from scratch. I like to show parts of my culture to Nicole. She also made him the first sloppy coffee of hers. I introduced him to stuffed ham, which is a mixture of ham and mayonnaise, very delicious. Culinary traditions, a little bit of brown sugar molasses, mmm, finally our beans come into the conversation, so we're going to mix all that together, so once we scoop up all that beautiful pork from the bottom of this pot, it's ready.

I'm going to put the lid on and then put this in the oven, wait, let me do this real quick, I have to move some things, oh man, I'm already nervous, that peanut butter cup really stumped me, geez, nervous, she She is standing, she is confused. she doesn't know where she is, she's going to fall, she recently she's brought to my attention that, um, number one, I've never won a food crime. Has anyone else noticed that I never won one of these? I never deserve to win, but I never really won and then number two, I forgot to put chocolate in my beans, very important, so in addition to being a perpetual loser, I also forgot to put chocolate in here, yeah, champion always, so our beans look as good as you can.

Look, they are wonderful, they are silky, they are impressive, look, they taste great. I tried them off camera and, uh, but they're missing one thing and that's the chocolate flavor, because you know, Peanut Butter Cup chocolate is very important. so I'm just going to add a few cubes of this and then I'm going to let the latent heat oh there's a piece of metal oh no okay and then I'm going to let the latent heat melt the chocolate and add a little bit of viscosity to it okay cool cool I'm going to let that happen and then speaking of viscosity, it's time to make a sauce so we're going to make a very quick barbecue sauce and the good news is that it doesn't contain any real particles so it's going to make for a smooth experience. like silk that everyone is going to enjoy, so the first thing is to add a little bit of tomato paste, throw that in there and let it cook a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, do your thing. 21. Do your thing with anyone. I can't sing on this show and then I have mashed beans, now this will add a lot of body to our sauce, make it nice and luxurious, give it a really nice mouthfeel, here you say, what is that? I'm going to do her bangs, that's Nicole's catchphrase she just goes around the office yelling it's the beans, time to add the delicious stuff we have brown sugar we have cayenne we have smoked paprika we have Worcestershire sauce we have cocoa powder we have some what is it this Liquid Smoke Hickory style oh that's too much and then a little bit of old fashioned black pepper and then this is dark soy sauce this is not the average soy sauce you get this one has a much darker flavor but also a little bit more sweeter than regular soy, very nice and then of course the ketchup, the most important ingredient, the barbecue sauce, the ketchup, they don't tell you that you know, that is, most of the barbecue sauce that you are eating has to be ketchup, sorry, but Nicole added vinegar. sugar and tomato paste ketchup is vinegar sugar and tomato paste you are redundant yes, do you think I'm going to win this time by show of hands, no one, one hand, from Dylan, um, I love the confidence in the rooms, super good? but you know it's good for the plot, you know you don't always have to win at things, you just have to try, you know, as long as you try your best every time you come in here and you still lose, it's okay.

It's not like you're a bad person you know you can be like a good person and still lose every eating competition against your boss like it's okay like there's nothing as deep as hate or animosity or something, it's like. HE. We're such good friends, it's a great power dynamic, so fucked up, she's like a wounded gazelle left behind by the herd and I'm a hungry leopard climbing a tree being all ferocious, okay, our sauce looks great and anxious, demos has a little flavor, that's pretty good. I'm going to add a little bit of water just to break it up.

It's a little sticky, so a little water will help break it up. I'll be right back. Wait. in Nicole left the chat there is a fly here the fly guy has come back to bless us now this is my pig, isn't it beautiful? Also guess what Brown is, so let's pick this up, pick this up, let's think about how we're going to prepare this now I'm just going to cut, look at that look, how cute it is, that's so good, no offense, I'm really good at cooking. My partner is worried that Nicole, by not having confidence in herself, is actually doing it.

For better cooking, we are not going to bake the sauce here because it is so powerful and flavorful that it is not necessary to bake it. Now we're going to put it on a plate, so I'm just going to take these beans that I'm going to prepare. a puddle of beans and the pig is going to swim in the puddle of beans okay very nice very good that is very good I will not have green on this plate I am not going to rest on The laurels of green we are going to be brown oh my God oh God mine look that's the ugliest plate of food I've ever made in the middle kitchen and it's going to make your chocolate pork beans fantasy there B words eat it I need everyone to tell me if this is too much or if this is super cool, y'all can do that for me, okay, look at this, look at this, tell me to go crazy on this Buttercup, how do we like that?

Yeah, I liked it anyway, uh, Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. I actually thought it was going to be really good, it turns out it tastes absolutely horrible, but I think there are some very specific reasons we can avoid in a recipe that makes it work. I'm trying to really like game theory. Do I know what game theory is? It's not at all, but I'm going to make a donut. Donuts are probably my favorite American pastry and I also love bean-based desserts, so I'm going to start making a donut dough and infuse it with some of the flavors and spices that we would find in baked beans, so I'm having one of smoked paprika, I think smoky and sweet can really work.

Smoked cloth, a little black pepper. I love it with sweet things and allspice and then I'm going to add a little bit of sugar to my flour right here you have to reach the pot wait there we go there we're going to stir this up and then we're going to add our yeast to let it rise um we've made homemade donuts in the kitchen before and is always kind Everything goes wrong and now that Nicole has gotten rid of her ego and says I'm going to lose. I'm Nicole, oh little me, I'm not going to win.

That scares me a lot. Apparently I'm from Oklahoma from time to time. I feel like I'm going to lose so I'm scared that means I'm going to make a mistake and otherwise the recipe is amazing and I don't think my Donuts are going to work. She just made barbecue and she just put chocolate in it. It's not fair, okay? so we're going to add our flour to this, we're going to take some yeast that's been blooming in the milk, it's been Leopold blooming, anyone look the producers got the producers, the funny movie Man Zero mustel Gene Wilder, man great, oh god, turn it up loud. let it work, I feel like there are other things I was going to do, oh, okay, listen to me, let me plan this, let me diagram it, uh, take out the old scheme, so we're making a donut dough that's a little bit spiced.

I'm going to take pinto beans, beat them into a sweetened pinto bean mousse, tube that into the donut, dip it in a chocolate ganache so the beans and chocolate stay there, and then I want to get some of that pork. the beans in there so I'm going to cover some candied bacon like maple bacon was a big trend and in that super epic bacon era, you know, so I'm going to go back there because I really peaked in 2012 .and uh, I'd like to go back, so I'm going to put a little brown sugar on this bacon trying to avoid touching my bear.

How do people cook without touching things with their hands? It sucks, it sucks, God just gave you. hands for a reason Forks are an abomination uh okay cool that's working oh shoot eggs uh my hands have raw pork on them but okay I'll throw them in there that'll take care of itself. I'm going to give the old man a wash. Josh graphic wash Josh, it looks nice, stretchy and sticky, you want it to be shiny because you want some of that gluten to develop, here we go, I'm going to grease a bowl a little bit, let's run this.

Through it, he still takes out the mixer bowl in the most stupid and stupid way, spreads it with a little more flour and then beats it for the second test, but for now Los Angeles laughs at Nicole, oh no, Nicole just to say something stupid. yo, a peanut butter in this cup, has run its course, Josh, just put it down and hey, you're watching a video on YouTube right now talking about videos on YouTube, our podcast, a hot dog sandwich is officially back on video on YouTube, our last episode arrived. comes out Sunday with Friends of the show Smosh's Courtney Miller, we're talking pho versus Ramen pitting two Noodle Kings against each other, but we ultimately come to the conclusion that it's too shocking totell you now, so you have to go see him. the video for you, but it's so fun to watch, go watch it, well, there's so much, there's too much going on, we'll figure it out, we've got our dough right here that's risen, this is an orange, like this is like this.

Halloween colored dough, that's all a paprika smokes there. I'm going to move on. I'm going to spread it out a little bit, tap it, run the second test and then we're going to blend our beans. Don't over-beat the beans so that you end up with a hairy palm. Oh geez, what are we doing? Okay, okay, those are nice and airy, that's good, it feels a little warm. I like to just put a little bit of flour in there just to make the rolling process easier. We want it to be about an inch and a half to two inches. thick don't be too harsh, be gentle, gentle, I'm like, hey, Lenny from Of Mice and Menge is out there killing rabbits.

I think it's a good thickness, it's a little thick, but I want this donut to be thick because that way I can fit more beans inside. Josh likes to make weird Donuts once he made a Blackberry Liver Donut for The Tick Tock, no one saw it, no one liked it. I think this is another variation of that, let's give it a good second test that we have. I'm going to wrap the first test, hey, someone who wants to win a dollar, let's make it up kid, you want to win a dollar, you could use his skidji.

Can you wrap this in plastic, but carefully so it doesn't press against the actual donut? Thank you very much though, I have promised dollars to so many people in this company and one day I will receive a huge bill for all the tasks people have done for me. You owe me like 500 so my plan is to take something like a Boston cream donut filled with whipped cream or custard and instead I'm going to thicken it with pinto beans because pinto beans have nothing to do with baked beans. I've always wanted to see if this would work and now we're doing it so I'm drinking pinto bean malted milk powder which to me is the MSG of the dessert world it's really delicious and adds a nice flavor that I guess already we're getting the beans I don't know I'm in my riffin era you know you know a music artist gets really popular and then they say this is what made me really popular thank you so much kg I appreciate you I don't have anything I have my wallet Are you on PayPal?

It's funny how Josh has to incentivize people with money and then he never gives them the money. I wonder why he does that childhood trauma. We have beans, we have malted milk powder. I'm going to put some heavy whipping cream in there, this should really lighten it up, make it like a mousse and then, um, I'm going to go crazy, I'm going to go crazy without measuring again, we're just riffing, it's just me here above. with a guitar you know it's me and my trusty ax out there good luck beans the most exciting thing about cooking is when you really have no idea what's about to happen and I can't emphasize this enough I have no idea what is about to happen here, this is a lot more flexible than I thought it would be, yeah, you know what a bad sign on a cooking show is when someone tries something and then runs off looking for something to add to it to make it better?

Give me a second, hey, do we need these Graham? crackers as was the plan from the beginning, I'm going to add some graham crackers to try to thicken this up because right now it's like a loose, wet bean soup and I didn't expect that to happen and now I'm thinking. that my arrogance has ultimately led to my demise, while Nicole is just sassy, ​​modest, uh, nature will really help her, um, yeah, I need some graham crackers to comfort me, that's to help, you're a fool, that's horrible, um, I don't have a backup plan, so we're sticking to it and hoping for the best.

If you look at the scoreboard, it may look like I'm losing right now, but when Tom Brady was down 28-3 to the Matt Ryan LED Falcons in the Super Bowl, did he do it? give up, no, she kissed his son on the lips and then she didn't eat tomatoes and then she slept in a hyperbaric chamber like a vampire like anyone else and she won that Super Bowl, damn it, and that's exactly what I'm going to do. We've got our little bag of limp beans in there, uh, we've got our Donuts, these are heavy, I mean, these are like they're going to sink, these are going to sink, we'll put them in the fryer that's right at the bottom, that she is a witch.

She would be dead, not Josh, if she were a witch, she would have floated away and then been killed. I am stupid. I'm going to put a bunch of chocolate chips on the board and make some chocolate ganache. I like to add just a little bit. a little bit of coconut oil just to make it work, it makes the chocolate more reactive, okay, melted chocolate, donuts, fry, uh, stir this, not okay, I'm not making chocolate ganache, I said ganache before, that's just not true at all. like melting chocolate with a little coconut oil to try to make a chocolate glaze.

I feel like I wanted to make a ganache. What do I want? What do I want from life? Why are we all here? Someone muzzle this guy. Just do it. Your damn Donuts are fine, so our Donuts are ready to flip. It does not embarrass me. I don't want to look at them, do I? Donuts ready to flip. They look quite cooked. I don't think I need to change brands. It's not like a donut, but it's something different, um, what's something else?, what's something else?, what's similar to a donut?, oh, what's like another cupcake?, because the Cronut is a hybrid of a croissant and a donut, and then they made the cruffin and everything else we could.

Bring this as a hybrid of a donut and it's called a bronut. I'm going to try to do a small exploratory probe mission. Create a pocket here a little bit. Create a small pocket. Sometimes it is overcooked. Take out my bean paste. Look how. this tastes like thick bean paste, it's pretty good. I'm not going to lose based on bean paste. I'm just going to put in a bunch of that bean paste. I have faith in you, Josh, I mean, you really know it came up. of the Flames like the Phoenix or a burnt rabbit and we're going to use the chocolate, there we go, a nice big layer, pop, that down here all the bean paste escapes, okay, okay get some flake salt , try and you like it. that same reaction, here we go, I'm going to take some Aleppo pepper, I'm going to try to get the flavor of the beans, come on, I need a miracle, I need a hero to save me right now and then I'll just put in candied bacon. stay, stay, stay, stay, don't mess with me this unique dish here we have it, we have your spiced donut filled with pinto bean mousse topped with chocolate, Aleppo pepper, candied bacon, first time Josh is going to lose, let's go to it, foreigner, hello.

I'm Jordan from Sport and today I'm testing a peanut butter cup and two peanut butter cup inspired dishes. I've seen this online. I understand there are beans baked inside like a chocolate shell like a peanut butter cup, but they are beans. I'm going to try the original to be able to evaluate that it's not bad. I feel like it could be better, that's what I'll say, but I'm not judging the peanut butter cup, so okay, let's try these two dishes, it looks like we have a sweet treat. and a salty. I'll start with the salty. This looks like ribs and baked beans.

It feels like a cheat to make baked beans in a bowl of peanut butter, but I prepared myself, I made both chocolates. Josh, leave me alone, Josh, leave me alone. I'm just sorry, I'm going to find your space, I'm going to fight, um, but they taste good, they're too chocolatey for me personally, they're nice, the texture is good, let's try these ribs, okay, I love eating ribs. on camera, okay, you know a good sauce, let's have some more sauce. I can't tell if there's chocolate in the sauce or not, there's so much chocolate in the sauce, there's so much going on in my mouth, okay, on the donut, this looks like a bacon covered donut with refried beans in the center um, it's Well, bon appetit, it tastes great, come on, come on, what do beans taste like on their own?

Wait, it tastes really good, um, doesn't it, the donut is great, it's a donut-filled pastry. with what looks like refried beans but tastes like frosting that if they gave it to you you would just be like the texture of this frosting is wrong but once they tell you it's beans you're like oh wait that's really impressive. the top is chocolate, there is some kind of salt and a little bit of red pepper flakes on top, the bacon is rich and smoky. Wow, surprise of my time working here, no no I couldn't have done it again. I think the winner is peanut butter.

The cup challenge is this donut, it's a surprise, I would never have guessed it's this good, this was good too, but I put the chocolate too prominently in a way that didn't make much sense to me, but it still tasted good, It just felt like they were forced to use chocolate in a recipe it didn't fit. This is twisted. I'm sure Josh did well. We have to run. Josh. Can't. I have to run. I'm stuck. This is incredible. It's delicious. Donut for perverts and I knew you made it, it's so good. I'm a 100 hearted donut pervert and I had no faith in this coming out, um if we're honest we destroyed the first dough we made and had to redo it. and I really rushed and I and I had no faith and I was stressed I was sweating realize how much I sweated through the microphone tape I slept a lot this means a lot to me Nicole hasn't won one of these shoes yet.

I'm so sorry, I don't want to be touched right now, okay, I'm sorry, okay, yeah, okay, I just want to go down more, oh, but wow, I don't know, I want to see it from the single, oh, that's very nice, is very good. The best thing about this is the cake donut. I'm surprised so it wasn't supposed to be a cake donut and they finally put it in the microwave to finish cooking the dough but we tried our best and it worked. Nicole Valiant's effort next time, you still never will. You'll catch me because I'm an untouchable food god and my ego is up here.

I went from here to up here. Be sure to check out Jordan at sport.com. Julie um Jordan writes amazing stuff, a lot of hot dog chili content that I'm a big fan of thanks Josh of course and then also make sure to check out a hot dog sandwich now on video check out the episode with Courtney Miller Nicole , we enjoy each other, we do it, we have good team chemistry, we don't care. answering yes ok that was the other day love it see you all next time a hot dog is a sandwich is back on the mythical cuisine channel we even re-recorded it inside mythical cuisine , the audio will still be posted on Wednesdays. as always but the video will now be published on the legendary kitchen channel on Sundays, so make sure you subscribe so you don't miss any episodes.