Bird Box (2018) KILL COUNTMay 30, 2021
Welcome to the death
countthe victims in all of our favorite horror movies. I'm friendly James Agee and today we're looking at the
birds of Lands End. Just kidding, we're looking at the Bird box released on Netflix in December
2018. I don't know what was in the water this past holiday season, but I've never seen a movie get more
killcount requests than a Bird box. Seriously, you guys wouldn't shut up about it, so just for you, I thought. I found a way to legally get Netflix movie files in an editable format so I can cover the seal, so don't say I never did anything for you.
Bird Box is based on a 2014 novel by Josh Malar Man that takes place in a world where people have to blindfold themselves when outside so as not to see the horrible supernatural beings floating around that are so magnificently horrible that they make the viewer cringe. suicide. It's superficially similar to a quiet place that denies the characters a sense of survival, but it's worth it. Considering the novel Bird Box came out years before Quiet Place was made, it's also worth noting that this movie is just fine. I can't understand why I became so popular so quickly other than, I guess, the memes until now.
As the movie goes on, it's overlong and rather poorly paced and doesn't explore all of its intriguing ideas in the most satisfying way, but that doesn't mean I hated it either. Still, I thought it was a very fun watch. by the excellent cast led by Sandra Bullock how many self-inflicted or other deaths took place during this mediocre film, let's find out and count them. The movie begins with my girl Sandy talking to a couple of kids about an upcoming family vacation. have some really intense periods under no circumstances are you allowed to take off your blindfold if I find out you have it I will hurt you and don't even think about asking me to stop to go to the bathroom the boys she calls boy and the girls are instructs them to never say a word and Sandy emphasizes the point that if they look without a blindfold they will die, they grab a couple of
birds and put them in a shoebox, then go out blindfolded and follow a rope to a canoe. that sand has been stored on the riverbank and then they embark on a fantastically dangerous vista without seeing the adventure week until five years earlier, where we find Mallory's character Sandra Bullock painting in a studio, she and her sister Jessica are played by an American horror star.
Sarah Paulson watches a news report about how an epidemic of senseless mass suicide is spreading from Romania to the rest of Europe and, like everywhere else, it's not a great world to bring a baby, which is bad news for pregnant Mallory during a visit to check on her. the baby with a woman named dr. Lapham, we learn how much Mallory doesn't want to be a mother, she's even considering adopting a question mark, a blue flower underneath, we get the hospital, she witnesses a woman she had noticed earlier wearing a very burnt orange tracksuit that now he crashes his head against the glass window. as if the suicide epidemic has reached America and although we don't see the final moment of this girl's life, her persistence and the loud crash we hear when Mallory runs away makes me feel pretty safe and putting her on the list with Mallory rises to the car.
Jessica and tells her that the suicide disease is here, but that's pretty obvious to anyone not blindfolded because there are vehicles colliding and the police push her as the sisters try to get out of there and get back to safety, although we see some explosions and many. of crazy violence, we don't get any definitive deaths, it presents the chaos that it is until the usually cheerful Jessica is suddenly overcome with a look of pure dread and falls silent as she drives her car towards a vehicle in slow motion that spins, oh and It's a perfect 180 landing on the roof, good job.
Jess Mallory rises from the rubble and watches as her sister walks casually into the street, gives her one last sad look, and then stands in front of an approaching garbage truck, now Cuba Gooding Jr. He'll probably get his way, Mallory will be left alone as more car explosions happen around her and I'll go ahead and include this guy on the couch since he's either dead or he's a nyquil driver and he's not nyquil . driving time as Mallory is knocked to the ground by hordes of people fleeing the invisible terror, a woman named Lydia goes to help her even though her husband Douglas tells her there's no time to be a good Samaritan, sure enough, just when arrives at Mallory's side, Lydia begins to I hear voices that Malorie has been helped by another guy, Tom, while Douglas watches through a window as his wife Lydia climbs into a burning vehicle and dies in the resulting explosion.
I can't believe Lydia didya, then Tom and another woman, Lucy, help Malory get to safety inside. the house of Greg, a character played by BD Wong, who is not a jerk like Henry Wu, they join a sizable group of people seeking shelter, including a sweet-looking older woman, a rapper who has problems with Eminem, and a TS employee, son of a bitch, who handles the shit. After briefly considering the idea that this could be some kind of biological warfare attack, they realized that all of these suicides that are happening are actually a result of the victims having seen something that, if you look at it, you would think.
It drives you crazy or makes you want to hurt yourself, no. makes you
killyourself anyway, better tear up the blackout curtains right now, after the TV signal joins the phones and goes down. Tom attends to Mallory, who tells him about her sister's suicide and what that lady Lydia was saying before she died. Mom, that woman was my wife and she wasn't talking to her mother. A mother has been dead for ten years. Don't get too intrigued by that aspect of these monsters because it's one of the many things this movie doesn't bother to explore later on.
As Mallory and her bun in the oven enjoy a prime sleeping spot, safe from the eerie shadows outside, the film briefly flashes forward again to see her boy and girl rolling, rolling, rolling in the river, but in Nothing really happens in this trailer and honestly I think it doesn't make sense for this movie to have two timelines like this, it kind of takes away from the story knowing where Mallory and these kids will end up when the movie jumps back in time. again, we get a purge like pickup five. bodies to add to the cow victims who apparently couldn't make it to Greg's porch and instead died outside his very cozy looking house.
Damn that place like a comfortable hut on the counter, a few days have passed and a radio broadcast says so. survivors what to do and what not to do as long as you don't look at those things you should be fine, they hear a knock on the door and after Mallory takes a defensive stance with Douglass' shotgun, Tom agrees to let the woman plead On the other side of the door Inside the house, this woman, Olympia, is also pregnant, which is bad news for the group since they are already low on food supplies, not only can all the stars here in the maternity ward.
Greg has an idea to use the security at his house. cameras to see what's going on outside, reasoning that if they're just looking at whatever's on a digital screen, it may not be as lethal as looking directly at it. This eclipse guy was tied to a chair to protect him from himself and everyone. He leaves the room, turns on his security cameras for the most boring binge watch of all time, well, he does it, everyone attends to his various needs, whether it's prenatal pills, alcohol drops or booty eiffel, there's no chance that The world is ending, baby, so are you.
You never know, before long Greg sees some leaves fly and a scary shadow appears at the feet of his camera and it becomes obvious that digital image or not, whatever he's looking at is leaving him quite a mess, so after When the others enter his office they find him wandering around. Greg commits suicide by knocking over his chair and smashing his head on a stone ledge. The damn guy survived numerous killer dinosaur outbreaks but couldn't survive a single security camera footage marathon. He arrives another night and with it some character development. Olympia and Mallory become friends during pregnancy Mallory approaches that guy Felix strafing, girl Lucy and Tom strike up a flirtatious friendship with Mallory because damn, she looks good in the moonlight.
Back to the future Marty, where Mallory is on a 14-hour river boat adventure with those kids. they hear a guy yell that he wants to help them and that they should take off their blindfolds, causing Mallory to pull out a gun and wave it around blindly, the river costing him mana and yelling at him to take off his blindfold. all kinds of crazy things, although he assures Mallory that what she has seen is beautiful, she knows that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and right now she would be holding a machete, a couple of blows to the shoulder and the neck they leave the river man bleeding and screaming after her as she paddles away and since he sinks below the surface, I think it's safe to tell this crazy son of a bitch in our first kill that he's actually a murderer in the Greg's boarded-up house, the survivors eventually running out of food, and this.
New Charlie, played by get outs lil rel, Howery suggests they try to restock the grocery store. To get there, they have to close all the windows of their vehicle and rely solely on this GPS juice GPS that you know as GPS during their trip. We see two rotting corpses in the streets, so I'll go ahead and add them to the cow. Oh, and there are nasty creaks that drive over them to do justice. Yes, just a speed bump. A meaty bone full of speed. At one point, some spooky noises. outside and the hard drive in the dashboard indicate that their vehicle was completely surrounded and the shadows passing overhead indicate that suicide-inducing creatures are visiting them, but they are able to weather the storm and follow the GPS to the store parking lot. grocery store where they make a crash landing, you've arrived, they carefully abandon the vehicle and enter the store, where Douglas wastes no time and heads straight for the essentials.
We get some character development when Mallory and Tom talk about growing up in cities. they weren't too far from each other they could have been your your babysitter babysitter you're only saying that because we're all going to die no, Sandy he's saying that because you find the girl Mallory finds those birds that will eventually be her rafting buddies and Tom picks up to an equally pragmatic walkie-talkie guy, what the fuck are the birds and walkie-talkies doing at a local grocery store? Costco's delivery dog, Doug, says they should stay at the store where they have everything they need, but Mallory refuses because she doesn't want the other one still in the house to starve before this debate can continue properly. , although they hear a knock on the other side of a door leading to the loading dock and Charlie recognizes the voice on the other side as a coworker, this coworker nicknamed Fish Fingers, you start raving and screaming about how he wants you See what's outside and the birds go crazy as a warning like the progenitors of the coal mines did in days of yore, as the altercation escalates we see another couple. of bodies lying dead on the loading dock, so we'll count them although I can't determine the gender of the one in the back, which means our pie charts will have a gray blob while the fish sticks try. to make his way inside the store, but before he can force the door fully open, Charlie plays the reluctant hero and charges at him, knocking them both down on the loading dock as Lucy and Tom close the door behind them, we hear a double laugh.
Charlie looks at the beautiful sights he sees and then we hear a sharp stinging sound and see a lot of blood flowing under the door. It looks like Charlie has expired after an expiration date and we know it's Charlie's blood for sure after hearing fish. The fingers continue to beg as the others leave the store that night. Douglas and Mallory share a drink and discuss whether assholes have longer lifespans than less-asshole allies. The best way to answer questions like that is with the field test, so Felix and Lucy roll. a real dick move and he runs away from the rest of the group, steals the car and leaves the others stranded so they can live and tattoo sex list together sometime later, while Mallory tries and fails to contact anyone on the radio from your supermarket.
Olympia makes a trial. she calls and lets a new stranger into the house, he immediately prays that Mallory's alter and her shotgun and introduces himself as Gary Gary says that he barely escaped with his life after a group of peoplePsychotics from a nearby mental institution who did not wear blindfolds attacked the house. The people I was with took us outside and made us open our eyes so we had to look at the creatures, although it is an intriguing city. Douglas is an unsympathetic new kid. You had a great visit, we really loved meeting you. the non-morons don't want to sentence Gary to death, so Cheryl crushes the base over Douglass's head and drags him to the garage for solitary confinement.
You live here now he buried you. Olympia tearfully tells Malory that she only extended Gary the same favor they did her and then she gets Malory to promise that she will take care of her son if anything happens to him. I guess it takes a Mallory to build a village or something. More time passes and this family is mostly happy. plays with Dionne Warwick on the radio Mallory has some stomach cramps that are quickly overshadowed by Olympia's dramatic water breaking, but don't worry Mallory, there's room for two at this water park, everyone begins to tend to these two women in labor, except Gary, who puts on some classical music and pulls out a drawingSeedman, figure out, hey, what do you have there?
Gare, bear, supernatural whores, some scary images to show in the dark, that's not the moment Malory gives birth to her little baby. Gary gets very excited, oh hi, he even has a twinkle in his eye, that's because Gary cray- Cray, as evidenced by the fact that he opened the blinds like he was trying to evict a vampire, knocks out Tom with some canned goods and then heads off with Krazee-eyez towards Douglas, who we expose this to the outside world by opening the garage door behind him. he sucks for Douglas, but anyone thinks those crazy eyes look incredibly beautiful.
I mean, damn, Gary walks into the maternity ward just as Olympia gives birth to a crying little girl and Gary has an amazing baby shower gift. Look at these ducks from Gary no Malorie. and covers herself, but Olympia is not so lucky, she looks outside and is a victim of what she sees, fortunately Malorie is able to get the girl out of Olympia's arms before she commits suicide by running to the window and throwing herself out of it, oh, and it is not one. Of those gentle dips in the window, that was pretty clumsy. Midwife Cheryl tries to keep her eyes closed, but Gary forces them open so he can see the beautiful terrors too, and after her eyes also cloud over with the possibility of going crazy, she too commits suicide. stabbing himself in the neck several times with a pair of scissors that he had just used to cut an umbilical cord man scissors tools of life and tools of death Gary tries to get Mallory's children out so he can expose their eyes to the outside as well and this is Another concept I wish the movie would explore more, like why does he want these babies to see the creatures, will they become new converts or something I don't know, either way Douglas shows up to save the day with his shotgun and his Con the Eyes wide shut, I'm not sure how wise it is to blindly fire a gun in a room with two new babies, but Douglas manages to hit Gary in the shoulder during a reload, although Gary runs up to him and knocks him down the stairs. railing and then finishes Douglas off with that pair of scissors that he sticks right into Douglass' chest, wait, did I mention that he stabs him twice because he stabs him twice?
Look, I told you Tom comes to his senses and he and Gary got into a fight. Oh, we're going to war, but Victor and the loot are determined off-screen, we only hear the gunshots when we see Mallory upstairs, but since Tom is the one snuggling with her under the blanket, that means we can put Gary , the crazy one, on the couch with a view off the screen. Death with that episode of madness over depends on Mallory Tom and the babies, so it could also be brought forward 5 years. Oh, sure, I guess it's not like anything interesting happened to these people or to society in general in the span of half a decade.
The children are no longer newborns, obviously, and Mallory is training them to survive in her blind new world. It's certainly a tough task for parents, but at least Mallory and Tom have a sexy kiss one night, hearing a voice on the radio. That tells them that there is a safe complex with a community of survivors and that the best way to get there is by taking the river, the voice warns them however that there is a point in Rapids at a point where they will have to expose themselves and look without a blindfold in the eyes. eyes to navigate correctly Mallory is skeptical about the radio voices plan, but Tom is an eternal optimist, he is also the much warmer father who tells stories of his childhood to boys and girls until Mallory interrupts them with a strict bedtime sentence. giving these children hope and a reason to live in the future while she just wants to focus on surviving in the present.
It's a solid thematic discussion that reminds me to remind everyone that the death counts are just for jokes and reviews and are not a good replacement for watching the movie, The Burn Box, like every other movie I cover, has a lot more ideas and development of characters I overlook for the sake of silliness, one day this makeshift family is in a nearby building enjoying some cute pop tart pies. this is strawberry, it tastes good, actually, that's what corn syrup and floppin' ribbo taste like, but they sure are mass produced. The eating session is interrupted when they hear a car stop outside and when that car stops, we see a body on the ground. that's too broken up for me to determine the gender, so another unknown appears on the list.
Survival mode is activated and they make a plan for Mallory and the children to return home while Tom faces his new visitors, but immediately these people are bad news as they tell Tom to take off his blindfold. when Tom hears one of them see Mallory and the children. He opens fire and kills two of them immediately. A guy and a lady with a shotgun blast to the chest. He has to remove the blindfold to find a. he routes behind the others, allowing him to shoot and kill two more guys there again with explosions. Liuba's torso leaving alone a guy from the group who is already heading through the trees to reach Mallon, the Tom children follow him, but when the wind starts blowing a girl away and he hears some voices behind him, he turns away. turns around and quickly succumbs to the power of indescribable forces.
Luckily, Mallory Tom's will is as strong as his muscles and he uses the last of his sanity to shoot and kill the girl. The final attacker dropped him into the fluor, unfortunately one can only be so strong and our boy Tom commits suicide by putting the gun to his chin and pulling the trigger off screen once again, we only hear the gunshot while we see Mallory react, but There is no ambiguity here, she and the children are now alone. Mallory packs up the essentials and we're back to where the movie started as she tells the kids that times are about to get tough for them and with that we're all finally caught up.
After 42 hours of a two-day trip down the river, they have already reached the rapids and snuggled under the blanket where Mallory says one of the boys will have to watch her since the cameras do it or else, could potentially all three. die, no, I'll decide, okay, I'll decide the weakest, just give me a second, okay, but Mallory's steely survival mode breaks when she thinks about the memories of Olympia and Tom and instead decides that no one It will take care of everything that is not necessary. She longs for nature to improve this mode and turn it directly sending the three blindfolded occupants overboard.
Mallory seems to be heading home as she is dragged through the river rapids, but she is finally able to hear the boy yelling at her and pick him up before her. Reaching the shore where the girl rings a bell to let them know where she and the birds are waiting, they head into the woods where we get a prime example of why you shouldn't do that stupid bird box challenge when Mallory trips on a root. from the tree and falls down the hill the children now alone begin to hear voices and whispers that sound like Mallory telling them to take off the blindfold to blindfold themselves yes, it's a girl, don't do it Malorie here are the children talking with the wind and yells at them not to listen, she then manages to make her way through the darkness and pick up both children once again, then she herself begins to hear voices and they sound like Tom is asking her for help, but the invisible beings quickly leave the facade and started chasing her through the woods while knocking down trees like a fucking smoke monster.
Mallory follows a bunch of bird noises right to the front door of a house with bird boxes, knocks on the door and begs them to let her in. and fortunately karma returns and the people inside accept after a quick check with a flashlight. Mallory and the children are determined to be okay, so they let in the community, which is revealed to be a school for the blind. They have a really nice community in the back with a canopy on the roof. to allow safe entry of sunlight and plenty of birds to warn them of any danger nearby.
Oh, and a lot of good guys too. Kelly as son Mallory and the children let their birds join their beaked brothers above and then see that Mallory's doctor is here too. Dr. Lapham asks the kids what their names are, and though they say, bleh, Mallory takes the opportunity to rectify this nominal oversight, demon girl Olympia, after her mother and son, tah, after that hot, buff guy who helped save Mallory and raise them both. The movie ends. with Mallory finally accepting motherhood and some hope that these children have a chance at a normal future, you know, besides the unspeakable terrors that always wait for them outside, I may not be able to see them, but damn, I can still count here, I will show it. you're in the hashtag bird box numbers challenge yeah but seriously don't do this Oh just kidding I actually have to read this teleprompter.
I counted 27 bird box kills and the victims consisted of 7 women, 18 men, and two victims that I simply couldn't. I'm not saying it's okay, they will learn to live with ambiguity with the wrong time of 124 minutes that left us with one death on average every four point five nine minutes. I'll give the golden chainsaw the four coolest kills for Cheryl, who stabbed herself straight up. the neck with a pair of scissors a bunch of times oh hey to make sure the deed was done ma'am everyone the machete 4 the dumbest death could go to any of the off screen deaths or bodies random, but let's give it to Gary because I would rather have seen that bastard die after everything he did and that's it.
Bird Box came out in
2018on Netflix, which claims more than 45 million accounts watched the film in its first week. I guess that's what happens with a movie release during the holidays when people would rather watch a suicide epidemic than spend real time with their family. I'll be back next week with another one-off episode, but until then I'm James Agee. Well, this has been the death count. Thank you very much for seeing this week's deaths. Kyle, won't I thank a couple of sponsors like Ally Hagar Jarvis Fitzpatrick Nate Singer and Ebony Griffin if they could do me a big favor with any movie requests they just sent to Dead Meat Movies on gmail.com when so many people leave requests. like comments on videos, it clogs it up and prevents me from seeing comments on the actual dead meat movie content on gmail.com, okay, be good people.
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