Bill Burr vs. Tom Segura: Who's The Bigger Psycho??? - YMH Highlight

Don't bring love to anyone into this, I'll take that. I remember I like 43-year-olds and I met Bill. I don't know if I mentioned this last time, but I met him. I met him in person. I had seen him on The Chappelle Show and you know, yeah, and he was at the peak of his popularity and then I was on Melrose, this is like I don't know what it was, it was the year you moved here and he was at the bar and I just started. talking to him and he said, yeah, you know, I walked here and I'm going, oh, from where he goes, Silver Lake, oh my God, I walked here from Silver Lake, he said, yeah, a little far, I'm going, yeah, and I'm still in New York, yeah.

Of course, we bite, which makes sense and he says, you know, besides, I want to be able to see a little bit of the city, it's like a lot of it, it's like you know, just go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. trying to drive or something and I took him back to his house. I thought this was too far to walk and then right before he got out of the car he said uh do you want to see me coming? Yeah, okay and he, you know, he just masturbated and then he got out of the car, it was just a two-story thing, it's like I was, I was, it wasn't affecting you, you weren't, so no, I'm saying I was like, that's cool, man. and he says that's the secret to being good, yeah, and a lot of comics listen to me, but that's the secret to all you young people, open my car, you have to start doing it more.

We discover that there is the strangest story that anyone has ever told. Oh, it's the series. A murderer like a ton of the story is a complete lack of emotion, thank you this happened, yes, yes, you know what and I know, but missing from our stories is the sound of someone gagged screaming in the other room right now. I know you, yes, and I know it. You suspect my husband is a

psycho

path. I've heard I've heard about yeah, yeah, no, I know and actually, yeah, and I've been trying to prove this on this show because it's like, you know, like Bud in his Bud Light is like

psycho

and psycho. like he's just not the high calorie one that can't get married and have kids, that's true, yeah, but if his thoughts were a movie, yeah, yeah, definitely, nc-17, yeah, he's a functional psychopath, yeah, you know why, because when I started dating involved, this is a true story when I started dating Tom Segura back in 205, there were red flags, little things like when we remembered dead animals behind you, you know, at principle you are everything. lovey-dovey and uh and he would say: I like you so much I like you so much I just want to tear your eyes out I want to smash your face and kill you and put a sledgehammer on your head like that Tom, you You're like I love you so much I just want to break your damn head.

I'm serious. You know, someone said that about my son once. Oh my god, he looks at those feet. I just want to cut him off and he was just. Like crazy, yeah, right there, you can't, you can't be with a person like that, so at the safe house we have a guest room, well, I have two kids now. I think I used to say I want to get your head into it. dressing yes, yes, yes, but I was like an expression of love, right, and there were other things too, like because you don't like love and you hate that it makes you feel weak or something that you want to violently take out, exactly, yes. and you know it worked, it actually did, are you frustrated because you knew you had no control over the love you had for your wife, so you started to feel trapped?

I think it was more like he didn't know. how to express how good I feel, you know, so I thought you're trying to play dumb, they're calculated, yeah, you're all you need to make it in this business, yeah, you just can't be creative and just float around. around like, oh, that tickles my artistic fantasy, you have to have a plan, but you have to leave your friends and family behind, these are all these things when Oprah talks about women, yeah, you're going to do this, yeah, she leave out that whole part, yeah, you. You're going to miss your kids when they grow up, yeah, you're going to get to the top of the mountain and you're going to be alone and you're not going to have any real friends and there's a reason I never had kids like Oprah because I don't give, I don't give.

I have time for that I wanted to take over the world when I swing in this circle with both hands you can't you can't carry a child yeah the other side of course you're talking about me is there's a lot of people writing on that

bill

You know he is a much deeper psychopath, no, never, yes, no, I will tell you that you have seen it, no, no, I would not say that, but I also hope that, like him, he has his feet, I will get away with it mine being a redhead. so everyone thinks Oh Opie Ron Howard they think like India the guy who doesn't get the girl the awkward one that's what they think of him he looks like you know every time there's a serial killer yeah that's the exact hairline yeah when they talk that's his exact hairline, yeah, well that's why you're a psycho extra and Bill deals with his anger on stage, right, you have acts in these parts of your actor, the muffin hits, it's very aggressive, he deals with his anger creatively you suppress you push down you push down you use what you're doing is you're looking at me on stage like that's what I am like you have to talk to my wife my wife lives with me and I do I'm a lunatic, could you express the rage that comes out creatively at least as much as it also comes out in your personal life or do you?

Are you angry at home because of the dumbest, yes, the stupidest, what caught you last time, yes, what is the Hey, I don't know, it's blind, I really see red, so I don't remember, but don't you you remember? I go to see Raj and he's locked and I don't have my keys, yeah I'll just scream of course. Yes, yes, and when the treehouse is down, they will hear it. Can you imagine the way she has this trait? If you think I'm bad, how would you be with mr.

burr

around here so if I drop my phone I go damn like this he says what happened drop my phone oh yeah cuz I had so much anger in my house growing up everyone was yelling all the time and I don't like it , because?

Did you pick this lunatic because he doesn't get angry, he bottles it up, yeah, and then he lets it out in a big gush like he's really going to make him angry and then he lets it go, let me have it, but you have it? It takes like a while, we're going to let you wait, the dog, you hit the dog, you hit the dog. I don't really bite, although you have to fight. I bite, yes, I eat what I'm sure. I'm much worse than him. I don't want to. you guys argue now wait for

bill

when you say of course, damn, just when you forget your keys, which one is the, of course, oh that's that easy, that's the movie trailer, that's not the movie of me getting mad, I mean, this is Tourette's, yeah, just arrest I got a strength, it's almost like Carlin's seven dirty words, like I can't do it unless I'm mad, yeah, I know, it's there, yeah, what What happens with the dog crying like, yes, yes, yes, yes, I'm going, I'm going, mother God, yes, yes, I find?

Oh my goodness, damn, but there's something about pronouncing the whole world that takes the edge off the mother, damn, yeah, it just takes it off. You know, it's good for you. There are studies on people who like it, done by angry scientists. I have many. work to do on myself but this year I'm turning 50 so I'm already on the other side so maybe the last three years turning fifty maybe the last three holes of the golf course. Have you ever seen a psychiatrist before therapy? Yes, I went. Well, you went to therapy but you stopped doing well after a while.

It's like well, you know, I've told all the bad stories and I'll always have problems. It's becoming like this. You know, now you have to pay for the car for life. come here and say, well this happened, yeah, they checked my garage door and I just felt like after a while, when are you going to know? Get off this couch and go to life Livia and she stops having to talk to this person. yeah, you're full of anger because you don't spank yourself for being a braggart, could you please stop it like you have some kind of degree in psychology?

Ten years in therapy is a lot. I thought about your football for 40 years. It shouldn't belong to someone. coach, yeah, then you'll like to superimpose your problems from the psychopaths in your life onto me, it's like an alcoholic saying they're always like oh yeah, you read, hey, you drink, you must be like me, yeah, the whole world because their attic, then they You are so self-centered that the whole world has to be like them. Yes I agree. I am very glad that you hear a thunder scene in our place. I'm the worst, the worst I know, and you know, you think you're a psychiatrist right now. let the guy go I want to ask Bill something, is he that funny to you?

No, Jesus, so those guys, yeah, what's going on? Well he's backing into a mechanic's garage, oh he's in another part of the world so he's just taking his time. It's like lining it up, Jesus, it's funny because it happened to everyone, man, some of you had to teach that person a little bit of throttle control. Look at life, life is cheap in that store, huh? That guy took it like a champ, although, uh, yeah, quite the man now. but it's funny, I saw you laugh, it's funny because it shouldn't happen, it's unexpected, you didn't die, yes, you know that, and no, but you think that's part of I think the guy in the red shirt would be a little more worried a Unless he was the guy driving, yeah, right?

Isn't that a bit of a fun extreme?