Best Of Elaine | Seinfeld

You don't think she would have done yada, yada, sex. I added sex, really, yes, I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had lobster bisque and we went back to my house, yada, yada, yada. I never heard from him again during The

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part, no, I mentioned the soup, he's an astronaut, too many of those pills, astronaut, say it, astronaut, astro, well what about last year, when I took him to the hospital every day? Did he ever say thank you? Oh God, Uncle Leo, hey, Marty, are you nervous? how nervous what's up with the sunglasses run away Van Johnson I have a black boy hello our line this is my aunt Stella we saw you on The Tonight Show last week I thought Johnny was very rude to you he didn't even let you talk no, not you I need new material.

I've already heard you do that dog routine three times. Did you hear this message? It was amazing, I really can't get over it. Sexy. This woman drove us crazy. What did she sound like? this kind of guttural and sexy whisper really like uh like uh Jerry I want to slide my tongue around you like a snake you you that was you how did you do it? I stopped by the club to see him and I was standing in the back while he was right, and there was a tape recorder there and I had this impulse, what no, that's nothing, now listen, promise me you won't tell him, okay, I want to have some fun with this.

I had no idea you were filled with so much sexuality, it's nothing, I wonder. What happened to my fiancé? I know he's here somewhere Ellen my fiancé is upstairs are you going upstairs? Come get it. I have lost my fiancée. The poor baby. The dingo ate your baby. Foreign. Hello, did you do your hair today? No, just uh. I fixed it a little, you know who's not here, he was in the first class today, but I think you made a big impression on him yesterday, what, who, I, I, I made an impressionable impression, let me return this, no, no, tell me . now what did he say he asked about you he asked about me John Kennedy respond he wanted to know your situation what situation I have a situation I told him I was single that was good that was very good he said you were just his type okay?

Are you trying to hurt me? Are you trying to test the instrument? Are you trying to hurt me? He also told me to tell you that he will be in your neighborhood around nine o'clock tomorrow, so he will stop in front of you. building, if you want to come down and say hello, why do you have a fake? And the guy never knows how he doesn't know. I guess after so many beers he's probably a little groggy anyway, you didn't know you didn't know. Know? Are you saying I think I'll have a piece of cake with me?

Well, you pretended with me, yes, you pretended with me, yes, no, yes, you got affected. I think all that, all the production, it was all an act, not bad, huh? What's the matter with him? breathing, gasping, moaning, screaming false false false I'm awesome I'm surprised how many times you did this all the time all the time Sorry, this is a little embarrassing, but there's no toilet paper around here. Are you talking to me? Yeah, I just forgot to check, so if you could give you some, no, I'm sorry, what, no, I'm sorry, I can't do without it, you can't do without it, no, there's not enough to do without, well, no.

He doesn't eat much, just three squares will be enough. Sorry, I don't have three squares now. If you don't mind, three squares are not enough. Three squares. No, I don't have a spare square. Can't. Save a square, oh is that two flying? Because if it's two coats, I'll take a Bond, one, five, a puny little coat. I'll take a miserable look twice. I don't have a square and I don't have a layer, no, no. No, no, thank you I must have had at least eight in my mouth. Could not talk. Could not talk. Why did you have to eat so many?

Because they are Georgy fruits. I like them. I didn't know it would start. a chain reaction that would lead to independent publishing at the end of Kramer's coffee table. I knew he had a cold. How do you expect him to blow his nose? Do you know what's going on here? Can't you see what happened or become George Don? I'm not saying it's true I'm George, I'm George of course, Jackie, oh she was a great lady, those will be some tough shoes to fill. Everyone loved her, she had such Grace, yeah, not many people have Grace, well you know, Grace is a Difficulty, I like to think I have a little Grace, not as much as Jackson, you have a little Grace, or you have Grace or you're not okay.

I don't have Grace and you can't fire Grace. Well, I have no intention of getting Grace. Grace is not something you can get in the market, she is fine, look, I don't have Grace even a sentence, I don't even say grace, okay foreigner, we will make our choice in a few days and we will let you know. I don't have a chance, no, it's just a minute to see you Justin Pitt, he was a very close friend of Mrs. Onassis, Mrs. O'Neal, that's hard to pronounce, excuse me, nothing, this earth there is something wrong with this photocopier, everything comes out inclined.

Now I don't know if this is your apartment or not Justin Pitt this is Elaine Venice I was a big fan of Mrs. Onassis I'm in love she's a person she's real she's honest she has no pretensions oh I'm very lucky did you say that? I was sorry for him, I didn't know because of the drinking no, I forgot, the

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part is he doesn't play, you know, there are no games, there are no games, what's the point of dating without games, how do you know if you're winning? ? or lose, well all I know is that he doesn't like games and he doesn't play, you know he has too much character and integrity, huh, and what is his position on abortion, what is his position on a bush, well, I .

I'm sure he's pro-choice, how do you know? Because he, well, looks really good. You should probably ask because if he's coming over with those little ones' pizzas it could be a problem, so you think you're worthy of a cupcake. Yes I believe. I am worthy of a sponge. I think I'm very SpongeBob SquarePants. Reanalyze your case. Well, we've gone out several times. Obviously we have a good relationship. I own a very profitable electronics distribution company. I eat well. I exercise. The blood tests are impeccable. I can speak frankly, I'm actually pretty good at it, are you going to do something with your sideburns, yes, I told you I'm going to trim my sideburns in the bathroom of your apartment, I cleaned it this morning, I sank the tub, everything was clean Yes, everything is impeccable. okay, let's go Thomas, get out of your baby, it smells good, well that's sweet, being a mother has made me feel so beautiful and silly, you have to have a baby, oh hey, you know, the other day I ate a piece of white fish in Barney Green Grass. and I moved to Long Island and I already have a baby.

I really like the city. The city is a bathroom. When was the last time you saw my little Adam? Um it was in the Hamptons. Oh no, no, okay, look at it, how about you take us to the toast? Oh, right, guys, do you want to raise a toast, this is to those who wish us well and those who don't, go to hell. Okay, who's dancing, come on, assistant, you want me, you want me to start, wait, classy, ​​Elaine, where's Susie? I want her to run our new fingerless glove division, oh, but I thought she was in line for that task, so she was going to wait to tell you this, but Susie Elaine from last night I hope you're taking care of the clothes because I can.

Don't take my eyes off this, no, I can't do this anymore, I can't, it's too long, stop telling your stupid story about the stupid desert and die already, Elaine, you don't like the movie, I hate it, I hate it. go. screw it why didn't you say it in the first place you're fired great I'll wait for you outside what's wrong with my body check my shoulder blades that's all no but that's a problem while I was walking naked in front of Melissa the other day walking naked that's not good for a man why is it not a good look for a woman the female body is a work of art the male body is utilitarian it is for moving it is like a jeep so don't think it is attractive it is horrible the hair that the bumps have is Simeon well some women like Sickies they go on leave take out anything next hello do you think you can get soup please you're wasting everyone's time wow no one's Sue I can make my own soup five cups of chopped porcini mushrooms half a cup of olive oil olive three pounds of celery this is my wild mushroom recipe yes that's right I have them all called cucumber, corn and crab soup malagatani are you done Nazi soup no more soup for you next foreigner