Best of Between Two Ferns, Part 4: Oscar Buzz, Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt, and more

foreigner welcome to another edition of Between Two Ferns the Oscar edition this is the second

part

I would like to welcome my first guest Jessica Chastain Jessica Chastain Jessica is an actress for which you were nominated for Zero Dark Thirty that is correct Zero Dark Thirty It's a movie about Chris Brown No, how hard did you fight to keep all the torture in the movie? Well, you know it's very important that the film is as accurate as possible, so it's about capturing Bin Laden Zero Dark Thirty, yes, documentary, no, but you know who cares if not. the real thing, yeah, yeah, because you're playing someone who really got him, yeah, it would have been nice to have the real person, well, she's undercover and well, doesn't she look like you?

I can't tell you, so she looks like it. an average looking redhead in a strange dress oh you're getting paid that's it yeah you have to go okay hello hello welcome thank you I'm Sally Field everyone yes it is. I had read that you had gained 25 pounds for the film. yes I did, how did you do that? Did you eat Anne Hathaway hmm do you look at a dime different now that you've been to Lincoln? I'm not Jewish, not that I know of, I think I'm Catholic. Well, I'd like to think that Sally Fields coming to this show was very nice and really a pleasure.

Thank you so much. Thank you for this path. We will continue forward. So we're going down this path, well, I'm very, very excited to have my next guest. It's a real pleasure to have her here because she doesn't do many interviews and she has chosen to be here. Please welcome to Daniel Day. Lewis, thank you Hello, how are you? What are you doing here? Oh, Emmanuel Day. Lewis, Daniel Taylor, thanks for coming. Welcome Bradley Cooper. Hi Bradley, nice to see you again. Nice to see you. Zach. I got your text about how discouraged you are. that's what it was about it was the start of black history month are you nominated oh yeah yeah for what's for

best

actor yeah

best

actor how's bragging camp going well?

I've written I've written a speech um really since you haven't written a speech, yeah, I wrote a speech that's very considerate of you, yeah, I didn't. I know you're busy, that's really, that's thanks, yeah, that's it, are you serious? Yes, go ahead and try it, when did you write this? It's been a couple of weeks, thank you. I just called Daniel Day Lewis to congratulate him on his win, so I wish I could have fulfilled my dream of being a talented and respected actor, but the academy chose someone better. It just sucks, I'm a loser and I'll beat him up if you want me to be with you in that speech, you don't win, you don't know, you don't do a conception speech, you should, so I just do it.

I don't understand that it's like this is the first time in my life that I'm actually a

part

of something and you know what that means for me to be a part of something that's like my Achilles heels, I just want to be included, well why? that? Did you join the Boy Scouts? If you want to be part of something like I want to be part of this community. I found a person that I love. I used to go see your stand-up all the time and it doesn't really play well, you know what I mean, no, I made this victim card, I'm not being a victim to be friends, that's what friends, Do you fight with your brother?

I watch you fight with your brothers, oh my god, all I care about is your damn show, it's like your whole damn Birds man is a damn joke. I can not stand. Throw away my signatures, don't understand who matters

more

to you, your friends and yourself. You're so sick of your fucking man Birds, he's a fucking piece of shit. I'll call you later that was a very strange thing hello welcome to another edition of Between Two Ferns I'm your host uh I'm your host Zach my guest today is Tila Tequila welcome Tila thank you you have 3.6 million friends on MySpace yes, who is Daryl Daryl ?

I'm just kidding I'm just kidding okay maybe you and I could maybe you and I could be friends and we could hang out and stuff yeah I definitely jet ski oh my gosh I love jet skiing . It's always been my dream to jet ski around the world, maybe we could do that, yes we do, yes, it's been really enlightening and amazing talking to you, um, yes, unfortunately we have another guest, we'll have a great time, yes, you will stay? Oh yeah. oh yeah, okay, great, um, please welcome my next guest, uh, Jennifer Aniston, how are you?

Hello, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you guys. Is there any possibility? Can you move that for Tila? Let's move the fern. Yes, would you mind? No, thanks. You don't mind, oh God, it's okay, oh look, it's the chair, do you want to go ahead and sit here oh, okay, no problem, well, thank you, thank you, thank you Tila, thank you Tila, nice to meet you, nice meet you uh welcome uh Jennifer thank you happy to be here to tell Jennifer a little bit about you oh well I sing and I did reality TV I actually had my own reality show yeah what she would do is have Lots of people to fight with. about her to like maybe lie in bed with her how did that sound familiar to you?

Jennifer I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay, so you're Greek, um and um, I'm Greek, I know that and um, you changed your last name for showbiz, but you kept it, my name is shortened, it was Galifianakisberg, in what things do you have working? uh Jenny, well this movie we're supposed to talk about is Just Go With It with Adam Sandler. I also worked with Adam Sandler. in a movie, oh really, what is it like? Really nice and you're right, isn't it really nice? Yes, we are not one of the best. Did they spend a lot of time?

Yes, absolutely, then we go to the trailer and, you know, have a snack. a lot of food, you know, he's a lot of fun, he's a great guy, he's a great story, if you were forced to choose a state in the US to be nuked, a state or else, The whole country would be destroyed, which state would you choose? choose to annihilate, I'm not going to do that, besides, the whole country is going to be destroyed by a nuclear weapon. I don't think that's a good thing, Rhode Island, okay, wait, go ahead, oh gee, Speed ​​Stick deodorant for your deodorant, how cute.

You've probably had a lot of wild adventures like today, yeah, as far as the romances involved go, have you ever done anything like in a car or anything else? I'm so sorry, on a motorcycle. I'll let you finish because I think you actually are. this is unfinished business so when I get back I'll go to the green room um I'm sure we all have enough questions um but I have another question if you don't mind no, it's for Tila yes you know what that is, you're fat no, I'm just saying that I interviewed the president last time and now I'm going to interview dumb actors again that's all I'm saying no it's okay it's okay he's a big star hello welcome to another edition of Between Two Ferns I'm your host Zach Alifinakis my guest today Bradley Pitts Bradley Pitts, thank you for joining me, it's a pleasure.

How old were you when you lost your zero virginity? I'll tell you about me when I lost my virginity. I really don't like listening to those showers, why don't you take them? You play a lot of people who hate Nazis, which is strange to me, why do you say that because you sound like Hitler's dream? Yes, I get it The conundrum that all the naked pictures of you were in Playgirl magazine many years ago and I only know it because my dad got me a subscription after I graduated high school and anyway, tell us about it this furry movie Fury fury, it's not furry.

No, when does that come out on DVD? I have a gift for you and it's, we have the gift oh, it's right behind the fern there Jesus, I wonder what that is, it's a bassoon, I thought it was a bowling ball, you know, I'm in gratitude You know I'm a dad now, that It's a bassoon, you can play it for your children. Yes, we will not be investing in my house any time soon. This is a little off topic, but do you mind if I borrow one or two of yours? sperm uh no, I think that would be inappropriate, okay, it's just written here.

I have to ask. I get it, after a big meal on Thanksgiving, do you ever like to unbutton your pants and just sit back and say oh boy oh boy I don't remember doing that? that you do a lot of charity work and I think it's a really great thing that you do and I was wondering if maybe you could tell us about some of your charity work because I'm involved in a lot of charity work as well, like what um, I work with this group called Doctors Without Diplomas, so Brad tells us about their charity work.

Yes, it's something I'm very proud of. It's called the Make it Right organization that we started building on the Lower Ninth after Hurricane Katrina a second. life in the Sun CK doing stand up hey how it's all going great being here uh in New York and uh it's a crazy city, it was a couple of rats on the subway and I thought they were Ebola or Isis. out of here you know, out of here rats thank you it looks like Benjamin's inverted buttons doesn't it because it gets bigger and better? I played I'm playing Who are you talking to?

I was talking about my good friend and then you, but he was in Benjamin Buttons, he was in that, that's why I said it, he's in that movie, yeah, who would you play in Benjamin? He bought it. He's a Benjamin Bottoms Buttons, that's the guy you can't recognize him because, uh, because of the makeup. things he was doing makeup I don't care when you and Clooney get dressed together in your tuxedos do you ever look at each other and walk away? We are a fancy dance couple as far as I remember, is it difficult for you? to maintain a tan why because you live in the shadow of your life because I also had a romantic flame with someone who regretted it I had a romantic escape that was public and got on my nerves and because she kind of overshadowed me that was my last piece is um I had the same thing with sweet rice oh really tell me what it was like the first time you laid eyes on Angelina it was like one of those classic love stories like when I don't know when she first saw Ross Rachel, you know that show, Friends, have you seen that I like that song?

Do you think people focus too much on your appearance and don't even realize that you're just a shitty foreign actor? Next question Hi, my name is Zach Galifianakis uh welcome to Between Two Ferns I'm your host Zach Galifianakis with me today is Jimmy from Timmy Kimball thanks for joining me here thanks for having me you're a late night talk show host what's it like being on the late night ? business, I mean, it's cool, you know, it's something I always wanted to do when I was a kid. I watched Letterman and it's really like it was a dream come true.

Have you ever farted in a Cocker Spaniel? No, no, I can't say that. You want a beer? It looks like it was open. Thank you. Maybe loosen up a little. It's nice and warm just the way I like foreign things. Yes, I could. I mean, there's no rule against it. It's just not something I would do to your girlfriend. It's Sarah Silverman, what is that? People always ask: Do you guys laugh all the time and you know it tires you and Sarah? Sarah is a comedian, do you guys always laugh with each other at home and stuff?

Hmm, I like it. Go to Long John Silver's and be surprised at how high the prices are and then just look at the cashier and go alone to New York. You and Sarah could do something like that. Yeah, well, she doesn't like fish. That? means what yeah, that's good man, so like fishing, the Ben Affleck thing you did, what a Fleck was, oh Ben Affleck, how close were you to him? Ben Affleck slips. I got pretty close to him. Do you ever take it to be closer to? her lips then the ones that were in the video Yes, good luck in rehearsals and stuff, no, you have girlish lips, thank you, yes, you're welcome, uh, we have to apologize, we have to get a word from our sponsor, hello, I'm Mary's from Barry's Bananas, the bananas are so good, other bananas enjoy them, I'm sorry our bananas are so delicious, I guarantee you will peel them enough, this is between two bananas, but I mean go on and on about things of bananas, do you like bananas, um foreigner?