Beauty Guru Bretman Rock Knows His Freaking Coconut Water

(smacking lips) (gargling

water

) (elegant music) - Aloha, it's me, Bretman Rock and today I'm here with Cosmo to play a little game we like to call the Expensive Taste Test. They will give me two items and I will have to guess which one is more expensive than the other. I think I'll be good at this because I grew up very broke (bleep) and I can tell when something is cheaper. Yes, I have expensive taste. My taste buds are very expensive, I like to think. (swing music) What's in front of me are two liquids, of course. I think it's

water

, one is frozen and the other is not.

Is this just water? Oh, the alkaline jumped. Wait, let me try. (smacking lips) Ooh, this one is very tappy. I'm usually pretty good at tasting the difference between water. (gargling water) But bitch, I think ice cream is more expensive than this. Everyone thought they had me. But yeah, I think the cold one, is this one more expensive? (doorbell rings) Are you serious? That's cheating because cold makes it more expensive. Look, if that was

coconut

water, it would have done just fine. (swing music) OMG, wrestling figures. Well, I have two action figures of Mr. Dwayne The Rock Johnson.

They named me The Rock, believe it or not, guys. I was named after Bret "The Hitman" Hart and The Rock, so I feel really sorry for Dwayne if he sees this video, which will probably never happen. Wait, let me get these glasses out. Girl, he's wearing Versace here, are you kidding me? This is the most expensive. This one definitely has more details, and Versace, bitch? Who the hell (beep)? Is there a trick where I have the same price, because I feel like everyone is after me? This Dwayne here is wearing a nice Versace top, I don't know where he found it.

But this one is also very cute and very detailed. I feel like they put the cover there to throw me off, huh? He this one doesn't have his tattoos, I don't know how to feel about that. Oh, this is probably his older self, because he only has his... (piece breaking off) Oh. Just the first tattoo he had, not that he

knows

all the tattoos The Rock has, but. These boots are not pretty. These kneecaps, are we playing volleyball? I don't know friend, (bleep). Dear God, if you are here God, let me know which one is more expensive.

This one is more expensive, it wears Versace. Hi, Donatello would never do it. It's right? (bell rings) Ahh bitch, yeah, yeah, yeah. (swing music) What is this? Is this

coconut

water (bleep)? Oh my god, I knew it (bleep). Bitch, I know this is Harmless Harvest for a fact (bleep). This. Bitch, they didn't get me the original Vita Coco. You already know that I like pressing better. What (beep)? I am presented with these two great options, one greater than the other. I'm a coconut water connoisseur so I should know. I even know the prices of each of these.

But I don't know which one they have because sometimes they're playing these games, because what if they have the larger size of Vita Coco but they have the smaller size of Harmless Harvest, then do we have a problem? Based solely on the taste and quality of the products, Harmless Harvest, 100% real coconut water. I'm never even going to try this again, get this (bleep) off my face. You already know that I like the pressed one better, the one with the white cap. I know this is the one with the blue cap. Do not mess with me. Yes, this is Harmless Harvest and it is the most expensive.

I know, I just know. I just know, hello. Did I understand correctly? (bell rings) Duh. (swing music) So what they gave me were these two amethyst necklaces. I love crystals. One is white gold or silver and we have a classic gold. I always look here to see if it's real gold, but I think it's pretty much which is a truer stone and this one looks more like an amethyst. But this is getting bigger and more expensive when it comes to crystals because amethyst is actually not that expensive. So does it say anything? Yes, it doesn't even say what compound it's made of.

This bitch says Italy. I think this amethyst necklace is more expensive. (bell rings) (screams) Bitch, I know my crystals, not (bleep) me. (swing music) Bring on the next item! I'm excited, bitch. Here we have two jockstraps, which may or may not be from my closet. How cute, orange. Reminds me of my high school colors, I definitely would have worn it. I wasn't in football, but I would do it if I was in football. This one is really cute, oh my gosh. I feel like more effort was put into this one. There are two layers, bitch. Your balls will thank you.

One is net, the other is this soft fabric. This one, this one, even just holding it in my hands makes me feel uncomfortable, it's so bad. But this one is cute. Can I have this later? No, I'm serious, because I have an outfit planned for this. I think this is the most expensive. It's her? (bell rings) Yes! (swing music) Oh, what a scourge. This is so, oh. I know what mink looks like just by looking at it because it's more realistic and obviously more expensive. But this one has a more synthetic look. This one is more hair-like and this one is more synthetic because it's almost too perfect.

This one is more expensive, right? (bell rings) Girl, I know, I just know. You should remove the part where I said it's mink because bitches will come for me. (swing music) Oh my god. Does size really matter when it comes to these things? Let's find out. I'm going to put one on each side of my cheeks. I don't want cross contamination. (smacking lips) Okay. I think this one is definitely tastier and just for the fact that the shaft, I feel like that's a safe word to use, right? The axis? The stick? The thing that holds the thing.

The shaft here is quality. This one is a little flimsier than the other, I would say. As you can see, there is more movement when you move it. This tastes better but it tastes more artificially. This one, however, tastes like he just came down from the blueberry tree. I feel like I would just choose this one. Honestly, bigger is better, the rod is colored. It gives me the complete fantasy. Is this? Is this more expensive? (bell rings) Period. Don't tell me anything, bitch. I know my axes. (swing music) Girl, I know just... (necklaces clicking) Do you hear this? (necklaces clicking) Talk too much, bitch.

Although this one is larger, it has a very rustic look. It is so light that it is almost plastic. It has more thought in it, it has more weight in it, it's actually metal. I don't know if this one is plastic. This actually goes well with my outfit. I feel like it's really cute. (beep) As in (beep) as in I can't take this off. Ah there. What if they have the same price but one was on sale? I feel like this one is more on sale, because who (bleep) would use this besides me? (beep), honestly I already started badly.

I'll go with this one. Is this more expensive? (bell ringing) (screams) (swing music) In the palms of my hands, I have these two girls standing in front of me and these are Aloha shirts. Most people call them Hawaiian shirts, they are not Hawaiian shirts. Hawaiian shirts are not these. They are Aloha t-shirts. Do it well. Anyway, these are Hawaiian shirts, Aloha. This is what they look like. The material on this one is a little thicker. OMG these match my outfit. She is giving me Goodwill energy and she is giving me Reyn Spooner energy. (stretching his shirt) Crispy. (stretching out shirt) What's that, you weak bitch?

What's that? Oh my god, I don't want to get the last one wrong and the first one, what the hell (bleep)? I need to end on a good note. This one has extra buttons, bitch. This one has two extra buttons. Does that mean more expensive? I don't know. But my shirt is expensive and only has one button. Oh my God, oh my God. Did you know? I'll go with this one, like (bleep), you know what I mean? Wait. (bell rings) Is this it? Bitch, they really thought they had me. You really thought you had me, bitch.

Okay, can we take the first one again and pretend I did it right? Oh my god, that was the most fun I've ever had in my life. Thanks guys for inviting me here. I didn't know I was actually going to do well. I know I started off hard. I just followed my instinct, but also used my logic at the same time, and then it paid off. Only if the water wasn't cold, but whatever, I'm over it. Thank you all very much for watching this video. Don't forget to subscribe to Cosmo and don't forget to check out my most recent collaboration with Wet and Wild called Jungle Rock.

Be sure to visit your nearest Ulta or wetandwild.com to purchase these products. Yes, thank you all so much for watching. I'll see you next time. (blowing kiss) Goodbye, I guess. I can go?