At 15 I was Forced To Marry A Man Twice My Age | Minutes With | @LADbible

everywhere?. She even went to the UK she was accompanied, you know, she would say, I've seen you with your mom and dad, like that, but I couldn't really go up and talk to her like a human being and just have a private conversation. So she comes back to my house and my parents will help you, they only lived about two streets away, they went to her house and I told them everything. It took them six hours to get an officer to come to the house and me. I went to my parents' house, I entered the house and at that time I had my uncles and aunts there, as soon as the wood opened, they were growling at me, whispering, giving me dirty looks and I heard it all in this.

I know it felt like everything felt like I was in this dark cave, going up the gorge up the stairs, I was going to get my baby, grab some bags, clothes in a bag and leave the house and that's all I had , so my next move. It was just holding on to anyone and that's what I did. I held on to a man I met and he was much older than me and I saw him as my ticket out. That's what brought me to the Midlands. Can you tell us something? a little bit about your relationship with that man and where it took you with this new relationship that I thought was a golden exit ticket at the time when he was 28 I was 16 and I just yeah, just no, I was 16 17 and I thought that he was so dysfunctional so I attracted a dysfunctional person basically and he lost his daughter two years before to bone cancer and she was seven so he was, you know, just going about his depressed life and he saw a damsel in distress. and he took it and so did I and that's how it happened and we connected on a crazy level thinking he would give me a better life because that's what he promised me and then he became a perpetrator where I actually experienced ten years of domestic violence. violence I didn't go out to a house for five years I wasn't allowed to go to the shops I wasn't allowed if I had to desperately go to the shops when he's not there he would make sure it was timed and if I was late when he called the phone line home and I didn't answer.

I'll get sick. I just found out that he was on drugs, he was taking heroin and he was going out like three days and three nights in a row. They wouldn't allow me to go anywhere because I didn't know the world and I didn't want to go out because I was so scared and petrified of people and I remember we didn't have money because he was him. a heroin addict, he had no money and I remember a pound or two he would give me. I would go get a bag of chips and put it on top of the warmer, eat half of it in the morning, and eat half of it. at night at that time my daughter wasn't breastfeeding so she was just, you know, drinking milk, breast milk and that's how I lived and that's me, you know, I was 17 years old and I lived like a poor person, a person without home, which I was and then I was on that plane, I got pregnant with his son and he used to beat me throughout my pregnancy.

I remember a time when he used to tell me oh, you're horrible, you know, you spoke in your this year and at that time I still had never done it. any contact with my family, so I was completely alone in this perpetrator's world and I remember I had fingernails and I scratched my face, I scratched myself until I was bleeding and I looked in the mirror, this was after he hit me and I was holding to my pregnant stomach and he was looking at me in the mirror and I thought, "you're horrible." He was just taking all the abuse he was saying through my mouth and I saw it because I believed it and soon it came. to a point where I really made the final decision to leave was when my daughter was about a year old at the time and I had just had my son and my daughter's hearing tested due to her development because she was born with special needs, but they didn't do it.

I don't know what kind of special needs she was born with so it was about time to say it, at that time they were doing a lot of hearing tests so I met this girl through this playgroup for children with hearing difficulties and she started to see. the bruises on my face and everything, she started giving me encouragement and strength, she took me into her world and I thought, oh this is what it feels like to have friends, so when and how did you find the opportunity to change your life? I left that perpetrator and moved on with my son and daughter.

I ended up in dysfunctional relationships for a good six and seven years. It's all I knew. He was just over 20 years old. You know, I wanted to do what all the other twenty-somethings were doing. which was living life, but obviously I couldn't do it because I had two kids, because I wasn't fixing myself, getting to the core of the problem to fix myself, I kept attracting negativity all the time and then there was this article that was published about this girl who was a model and she committed suicide and it was like it was my life reflecting back to me and I thought, "Oh my God, she really did it," and she went and committed suicide and that just set me back a little bit. a little bit and I thought to myself I tried to do that and I'm so glad I didn't succeed because now it's my turning point and I felt like the universe just swallowed me up and I said, "This is your calling," so I set out in contact. with the charity that commented on this honor killing and I told them my story and they asked me to come in and I became their ambassador.

I started talking about my experiences and then I started finding my platform and I started finding that. People just gravitate to me and say they want to tell me things about their lives and I say, "Okay, I feel like there's a pattern here and then I grew from that and I work with people abroad with charities abroad." and You know, I work with central office professionals who need to be educated about what honor abuse is and what honor killings are because it's a crime now, sometimes it's very difficult because we're conditioned from such a young age that maybe we can't even.

I know it is and it is an abuse because in most cultures they bury it in your head from birth, basically, that women of God and women and men have to do what their parents tell them to do. They say what to do, you have to speak clearly because it is a criminal offense, I understand that a lot of people don't want to take their families to the police stations, make them rest, but the thing is, if it's your family or a friend, it doesn't really matter. because they are abusing you, they took away my childhood. and my teenage life away from me and most of my 20s and now I'm 38 and I only started living since I was 30. and I do it like this, I'm only eight years old, just like the eight years old. -old ruby ​​and you know and that's where I'm going to return.

I'm living my life and I have to do things for me. What's the point of doing things for everyone else when it doesn't give you any satisfaction, especially in a life? Love as a couple should be so beautiful that it should be your own choice, not what other people think, who you should love and who you should have children with, it's your choice while everyone had their orgies, free sex, loved, I don't know anymore It would allow them to enjoy sex. for each other they had to fantasize that they were actually having sex with jesus men included