Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? | Kati Morton

Hello everyone, today Monday we are going to talk about the

highly

sensitive

person

, what that means and how we can better manage the symptoms, but before we get into that, I know we have a lot of new people here, welcome if you have a question or concern and you are wondering If I've talked about it before, chances are I have, so go to the YouTube search bar, enter my name Kati Morton and some keywords for your search, like depression and relationship stress, whatever. that you have. 1200 videos so it's probably there now let's get into this topic and you all have been asking me about this for a long time and of course I was listening it just took me a while to read it and try to get it and I read this book.

I see it for Elaine in Aaron. I think I'm getting her name right and some research work that I'll link in the description so if you really want to dig deeper into this on your own. I can and as we move forward I will say HSP instead of

highly

sensitive

person

. Okay, there are plenty of online tests you can take to find out if you're an HSN. I'm sure many of them are helpful and accurate; However, there is no tried and true test or assessment that mental health professionals use, so I just wanted to post that so you know that even if you've taken a test online, it doesn't necessarily mean it's accurate, we really don't have a way to test if someone is HSP or not and also after reading about HSP I realized how negatively we view the word sensitive when it can actually be a very positive and useful quality so just pay attention to how you view that word and how to Use it in your life and if using the term highly sensitive person is bothersome to you, feel free to make it your own, you could call it highly intuitive person, maybe whatever works for you, and also know that HSP is not the same as processing sensory. disorder some scientists call sensory processing sensitivity HSP, but they know that sensory overload is simply a component of HSP and I also have a video on sensory processing disorder if you want to watch it now as it can be difficult to pin down what causes someone to be an H P, let's look at some of the traits and that way you'll know you can evaluate on your own whether you think you fit in or not.

Remember that we know best about our own experience and symptoms, but we should also consult a mental health care professional to ensure that we receive the appropriate care or treatment and since HS p could be what is happening or it could be something completely Differently, HSPs usually had a childhood where we were told we were too sensitive, acted like cry babies, or felt like we always knew we ruined outings for others, we may have even had difficulty sleeping, had difficulty dealing with any kind of change and we possibly internalize all of this and believe that we did something wrong to cause it or that something was inherently wrong with us from Elaine in Aaron, the woman who wrote. the book seems to be the queen of HSP education and much of the research cited and other articles and books are her research.

I'm going to share the acronym she created to help other therapists and mental health professionals better evaluate HSPs. and that acronym is do do is now D stands for depth of processing and the way this is described is that we tend to think about things more deeply, possibly considering all the options, considering our thoughts about it, how it might affect someone else. in our lives and We would also love to look at things deeper, meaning we like to look for information or even just give ourselves a lot of time to think about life, how we feel about it, you know what's going on and we really enjoy that moment.

I'm one. of those people and that's part of the reason we really enjoy our alone time and I remember when I was a kid my mom used to send me to my room when I was bad, like I was getting in trouble, she would tell me go. to your room, but she stopped after a few tries because I loved being alone in my room and I almost preferred that to being outside in the house or outside playing with my brother, so she started making me do a timeout, so I had to sit in the kitchen. meeting her and doing nothing, which is just a fun memory.

Next, let's move on to oh, and it means overstimulation. I found that most studies and blog comments focused a lot of their attention on this trait and I believe it is one. of the most externally visible traits, but remember it's not just this, it's just a part and I'm not sure why that really bothered me so much, but I think it had to do with the fact that a lot of examples focused on this and how much does it overlap with shyness, introversion and sensory processing disorder when I think HSPs are very different and research shows us that many HSPs are also extroverted and extremely extroverted anyway, sorry for that rant but overstimulation is very common for HSPs because if we are deeply processing everything that takes in small details and trying to focus on everything that is going on, the noise, the lights, the people, if we are taking in all that information, it's no wonder For us to become overstimulated, it takes a lot of downtime and avoiding intense things like loud noises, lots of people, bright, flashing lights. or strong smells or even rough fabrics, you just have to think about our five senses and know that any of them can overstimulate us, so it really makes sense why this is a component of HSP, but again, it's just one part, the next is e for emotional reactivity and empathy Now, HSPs can often read the mood of a room or how someone is feeling.

This is kind of like being an empath, although like everything HSP, every HSP will experience this differently so don't assume that being an HSP P means you were also an empath unless it matches your experience and this is something you I personally struggle if I don't maintain proper boundaries and check in with myself. I can take on other people's moods. I can feel it right away and you. I know and I will do everything I can to make you feel better. I will do everything I can. You know what if I had that much power. I don't have it, but HSPs hate conflict too and I can imagine how this emotional connection and high sensitivity could lead us. to be super tired all the time, so see if you find yourself reading other people's moods feeling yourself taking on how someone else is feeling and we tend to not only recognize how someone is feeling but we can often feel it happening to us. us and also Note that if you are well versed in explaining emotions and how they feel for you, it could be super easy for you because all of those could be indications of this particular trait and the final trait is s and it means to feel the subtle and this could By noticing small facial expressions someone makes or slight changes in their favorite dish, we notice more than most and can usually use this information to help ourselves or others.

I mean, let's think about it if we notice that someone is distressed before other people we can consult. About them and offer support, we can also notice when someone needs space or is upset and adapt accordingly. I honestly think this is helpful because we can more easily read situations and even our own needs and do something about it more quickly than others and like I did. Reading about this, I couldn't help but think that all the traits worked in two ways: one can make us feel overwhelmed and need time alone, but many of them also help us protect ourselves and know when we need to take a break. which is what I loved about Elaine's book, she tells you about a trait or a problem and also spends time talking about the positive side of it and how it can really be a gift.

I loved it okay now let's look at some tips on how we can It's better to manage it if we're HSPs because many of you have told me that it can be overwhelming and we're not sure how to deal with it and sometimes, although I think it's a gift, it can seem like a burden. So, my first piece of advice is to find out what triggers or bothers you the most. Like I said, everyone is different, so pay attention to what you find most annoying, maybe it's a sound or loud noises in general, or maybe it's uncomfortable clothing or strong smells, or maybe it's all of the above, but The more we know about this, the better because then we can find ways to avoid annoying stimuli.

We could just wear clothes. Stick to a schedule or routine plan. Breaks only go to places that we know are not too noisy. We could do a lot of things to avoid them, so take some time and see what triggers you the most in my second tip. I know I talk about this a lot, but be kind to yourself and how you talk to yourself about this. Is your internal dialogue invalidating or supportive? Do you blame yourself for other people's discomfort? you try to ignore how you feel or you tell yourself to toughen up you know, pay attention to this because this is especially important if we are a very sensitive person while the outside world can be overwhelming and disturbing at times, our inner world is the one that we really can control, so make it a happy and healthy place for yourself.

Maybe you can think of something positive about being an HSP that you thought about while watching this video. That might be a great place to start my third advice journal, as many of us enjoy reflecting on the wonders of life and why we are the way we are and delving into how we feel. Take the time to put it down on paper or on your laptop, whichever you prefer. So you don't feel stuck in your head or cloud your ability to do other things. Since we know we can notice details and process things more deeply, journaling can help us do just that and not get stuck as much as possible. building up, you know, day after day, week after week, it can start to feel really overwhelming and getting it out can be really helpful and my fourth piece of advice, parent again if you have to now Elaine talks a lot about this and I'm actually working on a video. about this is unrelated to this topic, I actually didn't even know these two would be connected until I really started looking into it, so stay tuned, but know that regardless of whether our parents were absent or overly anxious, we will need to work on it. and we all need a secure attachment to our caregivers and more than half of us didn't understand that, but there are ways that we can heal now we can start connecting with a child our age, you know, writing letters or back. and forward through journaling and then we can figure out if we needed more pre-parenting can be more relaxing, more moving, things like that or if we wanted less activity, maybe our parents yelled at us too much or we're very, very strict, almost like helicopter parents. then we can make time for what we needed and give it to ourselves.

Now it could be things like alone time, long walks outside, or even spending quality time with a close friend. There are so many things that go into fixing adolescence and like I said, I'm working on a whole video about this, but I hope this helps you get started and think about it because now we have everything we need. Lise had to figure out what those needs are so we can work to satisfy them for ourselves and me. The fifth and final tip is to make time for your emotions. It's okay to cry, have a fit, and just be whatever you need to be, so make sure you give yourself the time to feel it, acknowledge it, and most importantly, validate it.

All feelings are. It's justified and it's okay, the problems we face are not due to our emotions, they are actually due to our judgment of them. It's like a wave, if we let ourselves feel it, we know what it is and we are okay with it, we breathe and let it. we move forward, but if we fight against it, like if you ever tried to surf, tried to swim through the waves against the waves, you can get caught in them, it can sink us and spit us out in the sand and leave us. we feel worse and that's why I like that analogy because it's almost tangible to me that that's what feelings are like, if we let them go on, we're fine, we breathe, we recognize it, we'll feel a lot better and just To be transparent, I took the HSP offered by Elaine and I scored a 14 and if you score above 12, Elaine states that you are most likely a HSP, but since I personally read all the traits, there are only a couple that I feel affect me.

I process things deeply and feel subtleties, but I don't mind loud restaurants or being around people, but I need time to recharge after a full day of socializing, so I don't know who knows, but I also want to let you know. You are wonderful just the way you are, no person is the same as another, so pay attention to your comparative impulses and I encourage you to celebrate your sensitivity and see it forwhich is an amazing gift. Thank you very much for watching and See you next time bye