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answering questions about 'my boyfriend' and divorce...

answering questions about 'my boyfriend' and divorce...
what's up guys so I am back finally with another video I haven't had my camera for a while so got my camera back gonna be uploading before I start the QA I'm just gonna probably answer a few commonly asked

questions

I guess am I gonna be back to posting regularly I should be posting I don't know how often but I have the kids Sunday through Wednesday so or no I guess Wednesday through Sunday so Wednesday night then Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday morning so I'm not sure how
answering questions about my boyfriend and divorce
much I'm gonna be able to film with them sorry if you can hear things in the background I think a train is coming of course as I'm trying to film this no that's a airplane that's an airplane okay that shall pass so I only have them those days oh no that's construction oh no it's a train okay I'm just gonna talk through it hopefully you guys don't mind I have them at Wednesday through Sunday so those are the only days that I'll be able to film with them I think
most of those vlogs are gonna be going on this channel and then if I do vlog when I don't have the kids then that will go up on my personal Elmo day channel so go subscribe to that if you guys want to see like more of like what I do and I don't have the kids which is basically just stay at home and watch the Empire Diaries because that's anyways that was gonna be the first question when do I have the kids Wednesday through Sunday yo you know what chill my uploading schedule I
don't know but I should be uploading a lot more now that I have my camera let's get on into the

questions

that you guys all want to know the train just stopped what is going on okay okay so how are you doing mentally and in general with all you've been through the past months so it's definitely been a little rough there's a lot of behind the scenes things that not a lot of people know like what's been going on it's hard to like not share those things because I know
you guys have been involved in my life for so long and you guys pretty much know everything but there's just some things that shouldn't be out in the open and on the internet so it's been hard mentally I'm going through it like I am but I'm also the happiest I've been in a while so it's like a battle within myself of like sad feelings and happy feelings it's just a mix of everything and like I really to be honest just what my mom right now and it's hard when
she's like not there and I can't physically like be with her through this huge change in my life that's been hard but my brother has really like stepped in a lot and he's been around a lot more that's been nice I've been seeing my friends a lot more because I do have some like downtime now so that's really nice because I do get to have somewhat of like a I don't wanna say check out because as a parent like you're always like checked in as a parent but in some
ways I'm not constantly around like kids all day my brain isn't like consumed with like kids so I get to like have some like conversations with adults which is nice that's that's been nice it's like a battle good and bad these are gonna be a new house to where things are up in the air on the apartment right now I'm not really sure if I'm going to be staying here if I'm gonna be moving I want to stay in the apartment but because me and tamer like Bulls on the lease
things are like a little complicated so we have to just kind of like work through that but I don't know maybe possibly I'm not for sure yet am i dating anyone no I know there's like a rumor going around that I have like a

boyfriend

that's not true at all never had a

boyfriend

I was like kind of talking to someone but like that's done and ended but I I do like talk to people but like honestly I just have really high standards so none of these people know no and I actually
haven't gone on any dates at all with anyone I don't know one taking me on a date people have asked but nothing how big of a difference is it going from no kids to one verse one to two to be honest it wasn't that hard for me but that was because of the age difference if I had wolf and forest if those were my only two and like Laci was like not there then that would be very difficult 202 is very very very very very hard so I think that has a big role but from one to two for me it
wasn't hard at all Laci was pretty much taking care of herself potty-trained all of that so it wasn't as hard but from two to three for me at first it was pretty easy but then once boorda started like getting active and crawling and wolf was at that age to where he just like gets into everything in der stores everything when I tell you that boy is destructive he is destructive she just treats everything it is bad so for me it was harder going from two to three but that's because of
the age difference I think so where did you learn to be such a badass baby I really need to know honestly I think it's just like my life I wouldn't even say I'm a badass but I do think I'm pretty strong I've gone through a lot of things that not a lot of people know about even in like my real life I think it's just a part of like Who I am who my mom raised me to be and like instilled in me as a child so I guess that's how I'm able to get through things it's
definitely hard but I know at the end of day that I have my kids and I have to live for them so yeah I've got really deep okay if you could go back even two years what advice would you give yourself in I haven't even looked at these

questions

so these are like I'm trying to think top of my head um if I could back two years ago two years ago I had just had wolf actually that was probably one of the like happier times in my life right after wolf got sick is when things I don't know
answering questions about my boyfriend and divorce
like started turning and just kidding really bad I would probably just tell myself advice when I gave that you're gonna go through some rough times it's gonna be hard but you'll make it out and it'll get better I guess any more kids in the future I definitely want more kids I know that sounds like insane but I think I want like two ish more one two two more one two more where do you get all your voluptuous curves and hips from my mama I think so and from having kids I think that
added some more do you still have feelings for Grandma would you get back with him hell no I would not um do I have feelings for him I have feelings for him as the father of my kids um would I ever ever ever get back with him no I think we're better off as friends even though we aren't even at that friend stage yet but I think we're honestly just better off as friends co-parenting there's just way too much drama involved both of us are very impulsive and very toxic for each other
so no I would never in my life get back with him any upcoming travel plans PS love you and your family thank you we love you too yes I think I'm going to be planning a trip with my brothers soon to go somewhere we've been talking about it for a while and we haven't done it so I'm pretty sure we're gonna be planning something maybe for spring break probably for spring break I really want to go to what is that place called I don't know somewhere in Texas that everyone goes
for spring break and it's like really trashy I really want to experience it because I never gone to so I don't know well we'll find something to do but I'm excited because I miss them so much how are you doing girl how does your new freedom feel it's weird like at times I'll randomly just be sitting around I'll be like enjoying myself and then all of a sudden I just feel sadness because I missed the kids I don't know it's weird I'm happy but I'm
it's also weird like sharing sharing time and just like I don't know it's just it's very weird yeah that's how I feel someone just asked me what's next was I use actually Graham told my sex toys you parently didn't want me having any fun whatever it's fine how did you get the strength to walk out of your toxic relationship Casey my own native as well hey girl go cheeps how did I get the strength honestly I just got like fed up tired of like pretending and
pretending that everything was okay and pretending that like there weren't issues in our marriage I just knew that those issues and those problems were always going to be there and they weren't ever going to be overcome any time we would get in an argument those things would get brought up I just felt like it was time to move on like I don't know it's just this feeling when you just stop caring you stop being mad you stop being sad you just get this feeling of like serenity
calmness like just I guess numb in a way you just stop caring that sounds really bad but it's true like you just get this calmness about you and you just say I'm done like you can just feel it inside of you it took a really long time it wasn't just like I walked out and said okay I'm done it was a lot of him wanting to make it work me not wanting to make it work and just this back-and-forth thing so it wasn't like an instant like if I had somewhere to go like if my mom maybe
was like around then I think it would have been a little bit of an easier transition because I would have had somewhere to go but because we were both living in this house in this apartment it made things a lot more difficult than it should have been definitely not the easiest thing I've ever been through but yeah how's the

divorce

process going um it's actually schooling smoother than I thought we're agreeing a lot more these days than we have been we basically agree both on
custody of splitting everything evenly what's his is his what's mine is mine so it's it's going pretty easy he filed I have the papers there are some issues with that but some new papers would be sent and then it's actually going pretty fast I thought I thought the process would go a lot longer but it's going pretty fast what's one thing that you've learned throughout this whole ordeal love you love you too I'm probably just that hmm even when you love someone
and you care about them and you care about who they are things aren't always going to work out and you have to love them from a distance you have to love them in a different way you have to find different ways to love that person even when there's hurt there and they for you and you've heard them and you still love that person you have to find a way to love them in a different way and I think that's what I've learned the most and also just like not ever letting a relationship
get so toxic to the point where you can't stand to be around each other I want to be in love with someone I want to I want to want them to be around I want to feel like I'm just as important to them as they are to me and I just want that to like always be in in our relationship I don't ever want to leave that honeymoon stage I want it to always be there so I think that's what I've learned and just just to love and like love hard love fully and I don't know I guess
answering questions about my boyfriend and divorce
that's it that's very like deep and but yeah how does your brothers feel about you and Graham separation obviously they're on my side because they're my brothers are biased I'm their sister but they're also like keeping it cold Graham like they know that that's the father of their niece and nephews so it's just been they've just been kind of like in the middle and just been like on the outside of it just letting me be me and be him yeah how's my heart oh
that's such a sweet question so my heart I'm definitely a more guarded person I don't know it's just so weird because I've been in a relationship the past practically eight years of my life and even before that I was in a relationship for another year and then before that I was in a relationship for another year so basically for the last ten years I've been in a relationship obviously like not like back to back to back of it there was like breaks and whatever but I was a
teenager then so I didn't really know what love was you know I don't know my heart is just it's more guarded it's definitely more private I don't like opening up to a lot of people in even the last person that I was like technically talking to like after Graham I didn't really let him know me know me I don't know it's just it's very weird it's very very weird especially like being married for five years being a relationship with someone for going on eight
years it makes you think differently about people and it makes you think differently about people's intentions and I don't know I just have like standards and even more so now when I already was very picky I don't know it's okay it's learning to love again kind of not really but I want to get there and yeah I just feel like these

questions

are so like intrusive it's okay it's good it's good okay how is it co-parenting with Graham we've definitely been through
it it's gotten a lot better now I think we're on a better understanding of what is okay what's not okay how can you I have the kids already entered that so I have them half the time he hasn't happened I have them half the week he hasn't half the week what's your favorite movie on Netflix after I'm obsessed with after obsessed hero a dream I love him yeah I love I love after and after week lightens coming out with season it I'm so excited everyone wants know if
have a

boyfriend

I don't have a

boyfriend

not even see I'm not even talking to anyone right now at all are you considering moving to Florida mr. blogs are they I was considering moving to Florida right before me and Graham like separated I really wanted to move to Florida and I what a to Graham didn't want to so I didn't get to and now that the custody thing is happening I can't move to Florida I can't but I would love to move there I love Florida what do you use for your
skin by the way I'm a new subscriber from Saudi Arabia sending up to you ah that's so far away I love you what do I use for my skin I use Kylie skin I just started that though maybe like a couple months ago two ish months ago I use the exfoliator and the wash I really like it and I use the moisturizer I really like it it's been working but before that I use just Cetaphil and that's all I used to wash my face and then I would exfoliate every once in a while but that's what I
do okay I'm gonna enter two more

questions

advise to stay at home mom's on keeping your sanity oh my god get a break this is I think why I went through a little bit of a stage I think I've now exited that stage but I was going through a stage where I was letting loose let's just say that I was letting loose I was letting loose but well-deserved I pretty much was on my own for like three and a half years like with the kids well which grandmas in the Navy I don't like blame him
for that but I was with them for three and a half years pretty much by myself with the kids um so just get out make sure you take breaks even if it's just like taking a bath relaxing taking care of yourself you need that you deserve that you have to do that or you will get depressed like you will get depressed and it's not it's not good then you start feeling like you're not a good mom and then you'll start not taking care of yourself you don't know you'll stop taking
care of things that are important you'll stop taking care of your house your your mental health everything will just like start falling apart so you have to make time for yourself make sure you're seeing your friends make sure you're having other like adult interactions and not just like staying at home all day keeping to yourself because I was that was me that was literally me even when Graham was home because I work from home that makes me have to even be home even longer because I
have to get stuff done so for me I think I needed to learn to go out and work like go to Starbucks at a video run into people you know talk have adult interactions I remember when I first talked to someone like after for being a mom for a long time and they would talk to me and I had such social anxiety I didn't know how to speak to adults I didn't know how to speak to people out in the real world like I would mumble my words and I'd get flustered and that's that's not how I
was when I was in high school I was very outgoing and I was very like bubbly and I think I've gotten that back now but I've definitely gotten that back now but there was a time when I didn't even recognize the person that I was you know so I think you have to do that for yourself you have to okay last question is it hard dating as a single mom well I haven't really started dating yet I don't know but I assume that it will be very hard especially considering that I have three
kids and a lot of people my age don't even have one you have to be a lot more picky you have to decide who is good enough to be in your kids lives eventually I know for me I would never introduce my kids to someone who is going to be temporary so in my mind I have to see a future with them and I have to know that they're going to be there for the long haul they're going to love my kids just as much as they love me and I have to see that before I even think about starting anything
with them you know I don't want something to just be temporary I don't want to waste my time if I don't see something with you then I'm not going to talk to you I'm not going to entertain it I just know I don't have time for that I don't have time for someone to just play with my feelings and like move on first of all learn my lesson with that uh-hum never again and I just I don't have time for that so I assume it'll be pretty difficult considering I have
three kids not the fact that I'm even you know anything with my little following that I am because I truly believe I'm nothing especially on the totem pole of social media influencers youtubers I'm on like down here some people do think that that's an opportunity for them I don't know so I have to look out for that as well and just I don't know just like kind of rule out their intentions and just like their goals and are they there for me or are they there for like what
are they there for you know so I have to think about all these things to be honest it's just so much work that I don't want to do that and I don't even want to give anyone my time and I'm just gonna keep to myself and you know I'll have my final flirt whatever but that's that's all I'm gonna do I don't really I don't really I'm not interested in finding anyone the only person I'm really interested in finding is myself and just learning to love me
and you know take this time to find me find what I love again find what interests me my hobbies my passions you know cuz I've lost that after being a mom for so long and like having no brakes you you start to lose that you start to lose who you are and I want to find myself again you know I want to love myself and take time to better myself start going to the gym and like taking time to like put that love into me you know but that is gonna be all the

questions

hopefully I answered some of
them and maybe I'll do another Q&A I should be starting up with some vlogs soon let me know if you guys want to actually see like individual vlogs on this channel too or if it should just all go on my personal channel let me know because I'm not really sure what to do with that that is gonna be the end of this video thank you guys so much for watching and I'll see you guys in my next one bye guys the whole time no mark